Abhira's toxic idealization - Page 5

Originally posted by: Drna7

I agree there are so many sexist things being glorified.

But reality is, more then indian men it's for women who constitutes major part of their audience.

How a dil is bad and unworthy if she speaks for herself or criticize them or behave rudely.

And this thing I have seen on IF too by women only. (In initial days) how Ab has no right to retaliate because she lives in poddar house or how it's not wrong to change one's name coz dadisa wants it. They were normalising it.

Vese show's writers treat every women same be it their so called fl or pl, they just want to glorify inlaws.

I remember being angry on Ru after she was behaving lovely doevy with Vidya after getting slapped.

Or how Ab forgot Vi's shraap and hatered.

They make it look like no matter how your mil is she's not wrong because vo maa h.

And the worst part is people enjoy it too.

@bold though Ab risking her life was something I disliked most but it was not to give 'ghar ka vaaris' but to give Ar 'only khoon ka rishta who don't treat him paraya.'

That's how you perceived it . It was always said she need to.mind her own business & not interfere in family matters where her opinion is neither asked nor valued..she had no agency to do it either as she kept on claiming that she will leave this house after 1 yr phir kahe ko kranti laani thi? I say that till date..but when they have to portray their fls as super women, they are not allowed to be normal . It's the writing that's being criticized

Problem is not that she retaliates, she doesn't follow what she preaches most of the time.

Originally posted by: WhimsicalMind

The fact that maternity leave would kill your dream job, is the problem. It shouldn't happen, women should not have to pick one or another.

If we talk about it and normalise it, women wouldn't have to put their bodies at risk to work

You are helping my point, thanks

It is not straightforward. I know paternity leave would kill job for a man as well in that stage of career. It is not about women but about competitive nature of the profession.

Originally posted by: leafy2022

I am not an exception. In my profession at the career stage I was my maternity leave would kill all my dream job. I have several women colleagues doing the same. So before making post and thinking you are trying to address societal issues please be mindful about other people who are probably facing/ doing the same for themselves and to actually progress contrary to what you are suggesting.

I remember, another woman made a comment at that time why I didn’t postpone my pregnancy to avoid this and focus on careers without knowing my pregnancy was a miracle when I lost all hope of becoming mother. It hurts listening all these at difficult moments like that.

Originally posted by: WhimsicalMind

Thank you for not treating it as an attack on Abhira, that's too much to expect

That's true that it is more towards women as they are the audience but if you notice a trend across the globe, you'll see a section of media is being generated to villify feminism and glorify patriarchal cultures

From tik tok to different TV shows and what these dramas do basically is putting out a narrative of "perfect woman" where women aren't treated like humans

The same track could be Abhira talking about importance of maternity leave for her and her child, she gave birth like a few weeks ago, going back to work comes later

Same drama could have been created with Kaveri asking her to work on something because she is a lawyer but Abhira needing a break after taking care of her baby

Then another track could be after maternity leave to show her going back to work then Kaveri saying that she refused before and Abhira telling her that she is ready now, physically, emotionally and mentally

@bold - this is something I absolutely hate. They villianize the idea of Feminism and try to portray it as sin. And trend going on social media of 'trad wife' is only deserving and others don't deserve to marry. Khair the more the less said this topic.

The track you are talking about is nice but honestly I don't expect from ITV much because they always make kachra of every social issue.

The only purpose it serves is generating more drama.

Even I want her to take rest and bond with baby as it's 15-16 days since delivery but then again what I personally feel is it's her choice and no should force her to change it. She is privileged in this matter because she works in family owned firm. She can do work according to her schedule. If she wants to manage it then let her. If there's someone to care for baby then going out for few hours is ok.

And her health is secondary coz if situation was normal then there would be no baby with her so she could work then without impacting her health.

Originally posted by: leafy2022

It is not straightforward. I know paternity leave would kill job for a man as well in that stage of career. It is not about women but about competitive nature of the profession.

It is not straight forward because most policies are designed for men and dont account for the physiological differences.

Women should not have to lose out on career opportunities because they needed time to heal

Originally posted by: Drna7

@bold - this is something I absolutely hate. They villianize the idea of Feminism and try to portray it as sin. And trend going on social media of 'trad wife' is only deserving and others don't deserve to marry. Khair the more the less said this topic.

The track you are talking about is nice but honestly I don't expect from ITV much because they always make kachra of every social issue.

The only purpose it serves is generating more drama.

Even I want her to take rest and bond with baby as it's 15-16 days since delivery but then again what I personally feel is it's her choice and no should force her to change it. She is privileged in this matter because she works in family owned firm. She can do work according to her schedule. If she wants to manage it then let her. If there's someone to care for baby then going out for few hours is ok.

And her health is secondary coz if situation was normal then there would be no baby with her so she could work then without impacting her health.

With recent elections, I saw so many men who were in my friends list posting "Your body my choice" and when confronted, they call it a joke

In Indian setting, I have seen that they hate the idea of women resting like Anupamaa had a track where she was against hiring a maid because a woman can manage both

This emphasis of women being perfect and not needing break, is glorified on ITV, not limited to Abhira

Choice - If a woman in front of me wants to do something, I won't say anything because it is not my place but it is a character being written to tell a story to the masses so I don't apply the choice theory in this case because the character is not taking decision, writer is doing it for her

Originally posted by: Krinya

That's how you perceived it . It was always said she need to.mind her own business & not interfere in family matters where her opinion is neither asked nor valued..she had no agency to do it either as she kept on claiming that she will leave this house after 1 yr phir kahe ko kranti laani thi? I say that till date..but when they have to portray their fls as super women, they are not allowed to be normal . It's the writing that's being criticized

Problem is not that she retaliates, she doesn't follow what she preaches most of the time.

I was not talking about "when Abhira interfered in others lives." it's about scenes when matter was related to her.

Maybe you or the posts you saw meant that but I am talking about posts that I saw and they meant exactly what I wrote.

In my post I was talking about mindset of audience and not Abhira ki galtiyaan.

Thank you all for a good discussion and Leafy, the person who made you feel bad for having a child is sick.

Originally posted by: WhimsicalMind

It is not straight forward because most policies are designed for men and dont account for the physiological differences.

Women should not have to lose out on career opportunities because they needed time to heal

I agree about men centric rules but in this particular situation which is under discussion IT WAS THE WOMAN’s decision.

My situation was not women centric, I am repeating my husband would also miss out on dream job if he chose to take full paternity leave at that time.

Right now one of my male colleagues is in paternity leave and m work place is very supportive of this. In this stage of his career he can easily do it.

If I need maternity leave now and I feel like I will happily take 6 months off to enjoy my baby and it won’t affect my progress as I am senior. It was just stage of my life when I was in a learning curve and had to keep on doing what I was doing.

Originally posted by: WhimsicalMind

Thank you all for a good discussion and Leafy, the person who made you feel bad for having a child is sick.

Thanks for your kind words. I was just trying to give you my prospective who had different situation.

And my first post was not for you only as a thread creator but in response to other comments which was Comparing other stuff in the show.