SamAina FF:- A Broken Future of Togetherness? (NOTE Page 34) - Page 11

"And the gift? I asked, shocked at my curiosity and courage for probing such questions in a situation as grave as this.

"It was for a special someone. A someone that had made a place in my heart. But now, neither the special someone exists, nor that special place. She responded coldly, eyes brimming with tears. Naina was quick to notice the first rays of dawn and scurried back without exchanging another word. And all that was left in my mind was the hurt look on her face with lonely tears escaping her swollen, red eyes.

They say each dawn brings a new ray of hope. But that dawn saw the pain of two ostracized souls. And so did the following several dawns. Days turned into months, but I felt as if someone had flipped my world upside down. After that one night, Naina had completely changed. Transformed into something she wasn't but was being forced to. She came to school, but hardly spoke unless it was related to schoolwork. Her friends were still Swati and Preeti, but she had no one to share her feelings with. Despite being surrounded by a crowd of people, she was alone, desolated.

"Naina? I had asked again that day to receive a blatant response. Her face had become pale and she behaved indifferently to everything. A sudden anger rose through my veins, jolting me. Enough was enough. I had been trying to apologize for nearly three weeks now, all in vain. Forget forgiving me, she wouldn't even meet my gaze. The least I wanted was her to talk; curse, accuse, torment, but talk. The silent treatment was killing me.

"Naina! I gritted through my teeth as my arms extended as a barrier in front of her. The more she tried to look for ways to escape, the more I created obstacles. I wouldn't let her go, not again.

The moment her orbs contacted mine, it was as if a new life surged through me. The eyes that once danced in happiness and gotten accustomed to fatal tears and swollen redness. My hands balled into fists at seeing her constantly tormenting herself...all because of me.

"Please... I voiced at her unasked question. She looked away abruptly, too scared to face her vulnerability.

"I'm not insisting you to forgive me, Naina. I can't, I've lost the right to the day I hurt you. But please talk, talk to your friends, don't keep the pain inside. I tried but received an intense glare. She pulled me by my arm, not caring about what others thought, or how badly her morals would've been cursing her. The slight second of happiness turned to guilt as I realized the grip to be cold and firm rather than warm and homely. I gulped in tension and fear, but most importantly, in guilt.

The racks of books had surely become a witness to our arguments if nothing else. Standing against the window, she looked out to nothing in particular, while I waited for her to start, too hesitant to speak another word.

"Do you know how it feels when you have no one to open up to? To share things with? Your pain, your happiness, your worries...everything? She began after a few moments of thought.

"Naina, I... She stopped me with a gesture of her hand as I saw her wounds of torment. I shut my eyes in despair and heaved another sigh.

"No you don't...you can never, because you've never gone through what I have. You've never had to convince yourself to live another day, just for the sake of your family. Never had to hide your tears behind a pretentious smile. You've never had to stop believing in dreams, Sameer Maheshwari! A lone tear escaped her eyes, accompanying her voice laced with hurt.

"You've lived alone. But have you ever felt alone? Her eyes darted to mine as my heart ached seeing her glistened orbs.

"You have Munna, Pandit, and most importantly, your Nanaji. The one who understands you and your feelings better than anyone else. But me? I've no one. I can't see Swati in pain at knowing my failed love story--oh, sorry, wrong phrase--failed one-sided love. I can't see Preeti with an expression of betrayal when I tell her about all the secrets I kept of you, because of you. I can't see my family's head bent in shame at knowing my biggest sin.

Nothing pricked me more than one-sided love'. Was it just one-sided? Was I only playing with her feelings or being swayed too?

"So who do you want me to talk to? Tell me. She crossed her arms in front of her, with an expression of an ardent listener. In sarcasm.

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself anymore, Naina. I sighed guiltily, too exhausted to fight with her. Her eyes had softened for a second before returning to their former self, the cold nature unfamiliar and irking to her orbs.

"And I want you to stay away from me. Stop talking to me, and I'll stop hurting myself. Her ultimatum made me gasp in fear.

I resoluted with a nod and then requested once more, "Please talk to your friends, Naina. They'll help you ease your pain. Her lips had twitched more than once in affirmation, but her words contradicted each time.

"Well, thanks to you, the word friend' is very distant in my life. I don't think I'll be able to befriend anyone in the future, especially a boy. She gritted through her teeth, anger blazing through her eyes. She looked tired, but her mind refused to rest, instead battled with her heart relentlessly, the pain evident in her eyes. With that she walked out of the library, leaving me helpless, yet again.

"Tic tic.

"Tic tic.

The two taps exchanged between two souls spoke more than words could ever decipher. It was the end of school, and while all the other benches were empty, all I could see was the girl sitting right across my bench in my row, shying away. Her cheeks had turned crimson as I smirked at the effect I had on her.

"So... I started our usual banter.

"So... She repeated, a smile lingering on her lips.

"So... I said once more before swiftly changing my spot to the bench right in front of her's, shifting my gaze to her.

"Sameer... She spoke in nervousness at the close proximity.

"Naina...there's been a question irritating me ever since. I stopped her abruptly. She seemed to sigh in relief at the change of topic.

"Yeah? Tell me... Naina changed her posture so that her face was resting on one of her hands. How much I wanted to be her hand, so that I could touch the silky soft cheek of hers. "Sameer, control. I reprimanded myself, only audible to myself.

"Sameer? She asked at my cluelessness with a frown.

"Oh yeah, Naina, have you ever had any male friends before? I asked. Somehow, I didn't quite like the idea of someone else fantasizing about closing the proximity other than him.

She blushed and looked away, a slight shaking of head making my lips curve into a victorious smile.

"So I'm the first. I smirked, trying to meet her gaze.

"And the only. Her reply erupted unknown butterflies in my stomach. My breathing hitched at her faith.

"And why so? I probed in curiosity.

"Because a girl and a boy can never be friends. And I only want people to say that about us. She spoke softly, but unwavered determination evident in her voice. Her eyes held care, faith, and love. Immense love. Incomparable love. Unbeatable love.

Here I was, slumped against one of the many chairs in the library, staring into the darkness despite the reflecting sunlight. After that one revelation, the library and solitude had become my best friends. The only place I confided everything. My guilt. My fear of losing her. And the feeling that I've already lost my best friend. Naina. Involuntary insomnia had taken over, extending my school hours to 6 AM to 4 PM.

"Sameer? A voice called, but not the sweet one I had longed for.

"Munna...what are you doing here? I asked, irked at the disturbance in solitude and contemplation.

"Get a hold of yourself, Sameer. He tried while crouching beside me.

"How can I, when my life is connected to another lifeless, restless soul? I blurted without thinking, a grim expression on my face.

"I think that restless soul has found a new ray of hope, a companion. He spoke amidst hesitation.

My eyes shot to him as I asked, "What do you mean?

"There's someone that has been able to bring a smile on Naina's face. A smile you longed for. A smile after two months.