Raman misunderstood.

When I read the WU for today's episode, I was pissed off, big-time. Even though I have always defended Raman or at least tried to understand his POV, I was mad at him today. The whole marrying Shagun 'Pihu ke liye' nonsense is unbelievably stupid, and the weakest of all storylines, and that's saying something for a show which had fake bhoot drama on for 3 months.

But then I came to the forum and saw people bashing him for a different reason altogether, because the crying in the bathroom scene came across as he trying to justify Ishita going away because of Ruhi's death. And I thought that this didn't trouble me as much. Why?

And that is when these exact same reasons crept up in my mind, the ones you have already penned here with so much clarity. So, thank you for that 😊

Raman was crying not because he believes everything was sirf 'Ruhi ke liye', not because he believes it began with her and ended with her, but because he believes that she does. What he believes is - if Ruhi were alive today, her Ishima would have been with her, and consequently, with him too. Ishita left him after Ruhi died. (Yes he's an ignorant fool here, not realising or accepting that his words drove her away) He mentions being in guilt all these years, guilt for Ruhi, guilt for Ishita, guilt for himself. And in this very guilt, he does the unthinkable and utters the unspeakable.

He mentioned Ruhi being the thread that tied IshRa together, because he believes was not worthy enough of Ishita anymore, without the one person that she loved the most in the world. I have always believed that for Ishita, Ruhi was the first person in her world, because Ruhi gave her everything in life - her own child, her husband who loved her to death, a family, but for Raman, Ishita was the the first person in his world, because Ishita gave him everything in life - she gave him his own kids back, a wife who walked every step of the way with him, and his family whom he had drifted off from.

With Ishita's first person gone, and Raman's vulnerability exposed, he does what he's best at. Drive her away, lest she chooses it on her own. And so when he cries and asks Ruhi to come back, it is not because they hadn't moved on from 'Ruhi ke liye', but as you beautifully mentioned, because they hadn't moved on from 'Ruhi ke liye' together.

RKB is not just complex, he is stupid. An idiot of the first order who loves with all his heart but doesn't tell, and who has kept his bad experiences glued to himself so strongly that everything puts him back in the same situation facing the same insecurities again, and again, and again. On one hand, you could ask, whether he's really this dumb to not learn from his bad experiences and learn to accept and move on, or do something to change it. It is a valid question. But when you think deeply, have any of these bad experiences ever really healed him and provided him the stable cushion that he perhaps needed for a prolonged duration to settle his heart and being in place? Probably not. No, I'm not putting this on Ishita, because this is absolutely not on her.

If he's the volatile volcano, she's the whirlpool in the ocean bed. He spits, hurls, erupts at the drop of a hat. She revolves and revolves until she gets completely sucked in. If Raman behaves idiotically, she supports him. If he shouts, she listens. If he yells, she absorbs. If he's perpetually afraid of losing the ones he ones he loves the most, she's perpetually trying to faults with herself believing she's not good for anyone. People ask why can't she stand up for herself, for her rights, why can't she give it back to Raman, does she not have any self-respect. Again a valid concern, but then has she ever felt empowered enough to question anyone else's opinion about her?

Both Raman and Ishita are masters of self-preservation though. Hurt for the same reasons time and again, they have both developed their individual processes, which when followed, make them vulnerable to hurting even more. Raman lashes out. Ishita takes it all in. When they lost Ruhi, he, wary of losing Ishita, lashed out at her instead, driving her far far away from him. She, instead of holding him equally responsible, believed herself to be the reason, and went away.

In a way, the same thing happened today. A night ago he saw what his life was, and could have been, and in the morning, he saw what his life had now become. With Ishita's face, went away all the pretense. And with Shagun's face, came back the harsh realities of his life. One of them being his own promise to marry Shagun, the other being Ishita and Mani's marriage, also staring at him as her decision. So he feels she's decided to go back to the life she was leading for 7 years. Alive, without him, with someone else. And so he decides to be at at his masochistic best. Hurt himself so much that the pain of it would kill him. And latches on to the ONLY reason that makes remotest sense to marry Shagun - Pihu ke liye. It looks as if he's trying to equate the Ruhi ke liye = Ishita with Pihu ke liye = Shagun, but inside, he knows, that neither is Pihu, Ruhi, nor Shagun, Ishita.

Similarly for Ishita, a night ago, she slept peacefully in the arms of the man who brings her face-to-face with herself, and in the morning, she saw what his life now was. With Shagun's face, she realised all that happened in these 7 years, and all that was supposed to happen further. And with his rather public declaration of 'mera faisla badlega nahi', she feels he's decided to go back to the life was leading for 7 years, and enter into that one bond he committed to a few days ago. Without her, with someone else. And so she decides to be at her martyr best. Keep away even if it breaks her from the inside. And latches on to the only reason that prevents her from knocking some sense into him - Raman ki khushi ke liye. It looks as if she's prepared to let it all go, as she had made her believe herself in Australia when she saw Shagun with Raman for the first time on TV, but inside, she knows, that neither is this happy, nor forever.