Lost in her eyes:A Farid-Kausar Story

This story is set in a version where both Kausar and Farid have divorced their spouses.Kausar and Seher have sought refuge at Farid's place.

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"Ammi,are you quite alright?" asked Seher worriedly.Her mother had embarked on a rather terrifying cleaning spree ,which had silenced all the inhabitants of the house,including a rather hostile Amaal,who knew better than to needle her irate caretaker.

"I'm alright." Came the clipped reply.Seher sighed and exchanged an exasperated look with Mr.Qadri,or dadajaan as he had asked her to call him.He seemed rather amused.This is all Dr.Farid's fault,she thought to herself darkly.No doubt the poor man had considered it prudent to confess something,perhaps not romantic,but nauseatingly wholesome enough to send her affection starved mother into a spiral.

"Should we just tell her that Abbu likes her?"

Seher jumped when she heard Amaal's whisper.Once the true meaning of her words hit her,Seher blanched.She knew that Dr.Farid had a tendre for her mother and that her mother too respected the doctor a great deal.But she wasn't sure if she wanted something more to develop between them.The plan had always been moving to Delhi once she finished her medical studies,just the two of them .She'd work while her ammi would paint.Then the two of them would sit and watch old hindi films,the ones her father had forbidden them from watching.There was no room for Dr.Farid......or Mahid,she thought with a pang,before shoving the feeling down ruthlessly.

Thinking about Mahid did no one any good.She was too young.Mahid had refused her.She was too young.There was no point in meeting him.He was married to Nazima and they were expecting a chilf.That chapter was closed.

"Earth to Seher." Amaal's voice startled her out of her reverie."What on earth are you thinking about?"

"Nothing,Amaal.Besides,why are you so keen on my mother and your father getting together?"

Amaal shrugged."My Ammi has made it clear that she doesn't want me and has no desire to come back.Why should I bother?"

Seher nodded,taken aback at Amaal's aloofness.There was probably some unresolved trauma which she had no desire to navigate.

The sudden ringing of a phone interrupted them.Seher watched Mr.Qadri answer his phone with a frown.His expression changed from exasperation to that of horror.

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Kausar felt very out of place in the sterile environment of the hospital.But how could she leave when Dr.Farid was being patched up?Granted,the injury wasn't serious,but it was surely painful.It's not everyday a patient decides the best discourse to stop the voices in his head is to attack the doctor treating him.The blow to the head was shallow,nothing to worry about,the doctors had reassured them,just a little bit of anesthesia to stitch him up.

A part of Kausar found the whole premise funny.Parvez had hurt her a multitude of times.Broken ribs, black eyes,broken teeth,miscarriages,burns......the list could go on and on.Not once had she been to the hospital.She had healed without anesthesia.
"Does that make me stronger than Dr.Farid?",she wondered.

She let out a giggle,which had a tinge of desperation to it.For the first time in her life she was better than a man at something.Amaal gave her a concerned look as she hauled herself up and proceeded to the abandoned stairwell.Collapsing against the wall,she broke it to fit of giggles which rapidly into heaving sobs.Despite her best efforts,tears refused to come.

Composing herself ,she returned to the corridor.Mr.Qadri spotted her and beckoned her.

"Farid's been shifted to the normal ward.He's fine." his lip twitched before continuing.

" He's asking for you."

Behind him,Seher and Amaal were giggling. Kausar frowned.Something was fishy.Dismissing her misgivings,she pushed the door open and entered the room.Dr.Farid lay on the bed,covers up till his chest,his hair ruffled and messy.He looked very boyish.Her heart leapt before she trampled down the emotion.He smiled.She fought the urge to run her fingers through his hair and smoothen it down and took a seat on the chair by his bed.

He frowned and patted on the bed beside him.She raised an eyebrow.He was being rather forward when she noticed his shining pupils and dopey smile.He was high on the anesthesia.She had developed a habit of leafing through the doctor's books and remembered reading about anesthesia and it's effects.

Sighing,she sat beside him.He gave her a brilliant smile and took her hand, fingers interlacing.She felt her ears redden even as leaned closer.This was the closest she had been to a man since her divorce.

"You have the most beautiful eyes." He whispered."I could get lost in them everyday,wander and never worry about returning."

Kausar's head shot up as Amaal burst into laughter.The three of them had entered the room after her.Seher looked disturbed while Mr.Qadri looked amused.She tried to pull her hand away but the doctor wouldn't let go.The smile was replaced by a frown as he gripped her hand tighter.

"Farid,I think Kausar's hand hurts.Perhaps you should let go.",interjected Mr.Qadri gently.

Dr.Farid resolutely shook his head."If I let go,she'll leave.",a crestfallen expression came upon his face.Kausar felt a pang.Mr.Qadri immediately took the girls outside,leaving them alone to talk.

" Am I hurting you Kausar?"he asked softly,staring straight into her eyes.

She had a feeling that it had nothing to do with her hand.She shook her head and started tracing patterns on his knuckles.He heaved a sigh of relief and leaned back against the pillows.
"I wish I could be as kind as you",he murmured.

" I wish I could paint your eyes,every fleck,every emotion.In a world filled with darkness,why is that the light refuses to leave your eyes?"

Kausar had no answer.

"Kausar......your name is beautiful and apt......the river in paradise where all grief is gone........where there is only contentment and peace..........perhaps you're a dream of mine......far away from the planes of reality.....and when I wake up you'll be gone and I'll have to search you........" he mumbled,before falling asleep,still clinging to her hand.

Kausar finally let her tears fall.