Ishita silence and sadness at being called banj undermines ruhi

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

mayu1982

@mayu1982

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

#31

Originally posted by: sunitas123

Ishita wanted to avoid creating a scene since she knows Bala's mom. During Godhbharai it is considered inauspicious to have a baanj do rituals, hence Ishita was hesitating. Ruhi forced her to do it and Bala's mom started off again. Ishita told her off once but it is not in her nature to tell off elders esp when technically Bala's mom is right! Maybe Raman should have spoken this time.

With bala's mom taunt scene is already created so whether Ishita speaks or not would have not change the drama. Entire Iyers - Vandu, Amma , Bala they can't speak in front of Bala's mom . Is vandu so abla sabla nari that she can;t give it back to her mil where she is wrong. Wrong message to society where educated females keep silence for sake of relations.

Ishita who is adult but can't give it back to Bala's mom even for ruhi's sake . When bala mom is questioning her infertility issue she is directly questioning Ishita and Ruhi bond Still she don't answered because it is not her nature . And ruhi who is kid who will insult any adult for the sake of mother love

Quote

shanry

@shanry

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: --mancityfan--
...It also somewhere means that ishita somewhere still feels incomplete at her inability to have her own kids despite having Ruhi

Isn't that natural?

Irrespective of how much Ishita loves & adores Ruhi, the fact remains that she will never be able to bear children herself, hence there is a natural tendency to feel incomplete. That in no way takes away from the fact that Ruhi is precious to her.

I believe even in the case of a mother of 1, when told that due to complications she will never bear anymore children, the mother will be saddened that the decision to have more kids has been snatched away from her. That does not mean she will love her 1 child less.

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

deejagi

@deejagi

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#33

Ruhi & Ishita are emotionally bonded and are true mother and daughter. Ishita is aware of that. But here Bala's mother was taunting her on her physical condition which is true and because of that very reason that lady stopped Ishita's marriage with her son Subbu (Bala's younger brother) and Ishita can't argue on that. That lady forbid Ishita to perform some rituals for her sister because of her physical condition and no one could say anything to her as she had used 'below the belt tactics'. Thatw as the very reason, Raman asked ishita to not attend the function n but how can she stay back when it was her own sister's function and also since both Raman & Ruhi had talked to that lady in previous occasion, Ishita didn't expect her to taunt her again.

With Shagun, the issue was on an altogether different level and Ishita can never tell Shagun that she is not at all Ruhi's mother as Shagun has given birth to Ruhi and that is the only reason why she was allowing rather making Ruhi take part in all functions of Shagun's marriage and she even taught Ruhi to call Shagun, Shagun Mamma.

Quote

Mages

@Mages

Elite

+ 7

Posted: 10 years ago

#34

Its not abt insecurities...ruhi is her daughter more than a real daughter...mother-daughter duo are bonded by soul

the word "banj" is very cruel to address any women...only a women can understand the pain in this word...its a bad bad bad word...i hope the cvs doesn't use this word in their scripts again...there are womens whom are infertile watching this show...it hurts their sentiments too...its a very sensitive word..even i feel angry and hurt when shagun...bala's mother uses this "banj" word...its disgusting...

Quote

Colt.Pixy

@Colt.Pixy

Trailblazer

+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

#35

Originally posted by: mayu1982

With bala's mom taunt scene is already created so whether Ishita speaks or not would have not change the drama. Entire Iyers - Vandu, Amma , Bala they can't speak in front of Bala's mom . Is vandu so abla sabla nari that she can;t give it back to her mil where she is wrong. Wrong message to society where educated females keep silence for sake of relations.

Ishita who is adult but can't give it back to Bala's mom even for ruhi's sake . When bala mom is questioning her infertility issue she is directly questioning Ishita and Ruhi bond Still she don't answered because it is not her nature . And ruhi who is kid who will insult any adult for the sake of mother love

Mayu
bala the so called perfect husband could not speak against his mother, nor vandhu could speak but they are not getting questioned but raman is questioned every time 😆😉 ruhi should learn from bala he is perfect father. you know ? 😛😆

Quote

Colt.Pixy

@Colt.Pixy

Trailblazer

+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: mujna

point taken... but to me the Raman - Ishita conversation was more about Ishita saying that such taunts will not make her question her motherhood... Ishita's condition which makes it difficult to have a biological child has not vanished because she has Ruhi... she had learnt to live with her condition even before Ruhi came in her life... her daughter filled up the void that was in her life and she wholeheartedly accepts that... now her infertility does not determine the direction of her life... but words hurt... and sometimes it hurts more when you know that the people you love also hurt because of these words...

Just like having Ishita as her mother does not change the fact that another woman gave birth to Ruhi... a fact that Ruhi would love to change... to me Ruhi's defensive outbursts to protect her mother are a combination of unconditional love (as you put it) as well as a little insecurity that if the world does not accept her Ishima as her mother then they may get separated... this is the way this 7 year old holds on to and protects the most precious relationship in her life.

Both Ishita and Ruhi are a product of our flawed society... both have been at the receiving ends of taunts that have hurt them... their bond has completed both of them... but that does not mean that what others say doesn't hurt... to me they have not healed each other... because ishita's infertility and the bitterness of Ruhi's biological parents' divorce still remains... but they have provided each other with the strength that was needed to move beyond their pain and forge ahead... their bond still the strongest... is still a work in progress...

if they are not healed then what is the point their relations ?
Looks like ruhi s love failed to give her courage to face crucial words!! she was called banj by shagun but she gave her back, but she could not give back to vandu s saas ? 😆
she din show hurt when shagun called her banj 😲😕

agreed , ruhi's bitterness still remains but does not Ishita try to make ruhi to respect shagun before? where goes her wisdom when she is needed to work on own words ?

I dun think ruhi is hurt anymore by society. Instead she proudly says ishima is her mother .

Strength is not strength unless it s not used on right time 😉
and if she feels hurt she should not have gone there she knows bala s mom nature more .

ye achchha he, khud jao despite of getting advise from husband and knowing nature of some people, take craps from them and then play victim card 😆

Quote

deejagi

@deejagi

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#37

Vandu's mother was targeting Ishita's physical condition and no one could control her as that is the brutal truth. Whether you accept it or not, in our country still the condition of infertile lady & a widow are pathetic. The society will not allow them to be a active part of some rituals such as wedding, naming ceremony, Godbarai etc. They will feel insecure to allow them to perform rituals thinking the same fate (like infertility or Losing husband) may befall on the other. So in many cases, a mother will not even do some rituals on her own kids marriage etc. if the father is dead as the society has indirectly made her to fear that what if some thing bad happens tyo my son or SIL if I perform the ritual. And people will not allow an infertile lady to even bless the new born or wish a pregnant lady thinking her bad luck might befall on them and the preggy might face some problems or the child may face some health issues etc.

So, even if some one as educated s Pammi aunty who had asked Ishita to feed the Honey to her new born grandchild (which could born only because of Ishita's timely help) even though Ishita was the one who delivered that baby as no other doctor was around, changed her version, the moment she heard the word from Bala's mother.

About Ishita attending the function despite Raman's advise, just fearing someone's taunt she can't spoil her sister's D day by not attending that right?

Quote

FantasiaNarnia

@FantasiaNarnia

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#38

I think what CVs tried to highlight was that there will always be mean-spirited people like Bala's mother and Shagun,who will hit below the belt just for kicks.They will make fun of bonds that fall outside the purview of biological relationships. For them IshRu is one big joke,and they will create scenes at functions to hurt Ishita,knowing full well that their chosen victim will not retaliate.

I actually found it hilarious when Bala's mother told Ruhi that she should not interfere in adult conversations.

The question arises as to why adults would use such inappropriate language in the presence of children.Why force them to grow up?

How on earth did Bala turn out to be so sorted,given the precedent set by his sadistic mother?

Quote

Lucky

@alwaysaTVFan

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

#39

Leo 😛

I will not answer about the lack of action from Ishita (and for that matter all the other adults present there). That's a minefield I don't feel like stepping into today. I already discussed that in the RIT post yesterday.

I won't talk about Ishita's own insecurities and feeling of incompleteness either. that , I believe could be another topic in itself 😳

But I will talk about insecurity since you used that in the context of Ruhi.

In many ways, the relation between an 'adopted' parent and child is completely different when compared with a traditional mother-child relationship.

On one hand, such a relationship is more secure (because the parent & in this case the child have chosen the other person consciously), and on the other hand such a relationship is insecure to the core (the child usually keeps looking for the biological parent if he/she doesnt know about them... and the child is also threatened if the adopted mother ends up getting pregnant). the dynamics are sensitive and they cannot really be measured by the yardstick of any traditional relationships, let alone a 'normal' parent-child one.

If I ignore the fact that Ruhi has been shown to be quite mature for her age, and also take into account that Ruhi is more perceptive and has faced a 'tougher' life, I cannot dismiss the fact that she is still a child. In the last year alone, she has stood up to Bala's mom twice on the subject of "Baanjh". At some point she is going to wonder if its not just outsiders who think Ishita is baanjh. Ruhi is, if not now, a few years from now, going to wonder why she has to repeatedly stand up for her mother.

There is a concept called over-assurance. I replied to your 'assurance' post the other day saying why do they even need assurance when they are in a secure & loving relationship. In this case, I will say that the adults are not assuring (which is fine, I'd rather EVERYONE ignore Bala's mom. that will shut her up eventually because she doesnt seem to stop when insulted anyway), BUT the child is having to. and I believe, at some point, a real-life child will get affected. I believe the insecurity will be when Ruhi may start questioning if she is just not enough for her Ishima. This could happen if Ruhi always ends up being the one to defend the baanj word in front of outsiders.

PS: My answer # 2 - this is a show. Ruhi is the most mature, most secure 6 year old in the world. so she's fine dude. If they need Ruhi for TRPs, they will show her this way. and don't be surprised if they show her being an insecure lil child if & when Ishita does get pregnant. Cause that will fetch TRPs too.

PPS: You choose the answer that appeals to your sensibility.

Quote

MERARAI

@MERARAI

Stunner

Posted: 10 years ago

#40

Originally posted by: aasighazi
I have a question in all this and it's pretty valid:
Does Ishita think she cannot have a child just because of her kundali (her horoscope)?? I mean honestly, there is so much science out there nowadays how about showing something realistic, like her and Raman going to the doctor to do in vitro fertilization, or at least really let her see if she can actually get pregnant. Don't get me wrong but horoscopes are not 100% accurate. I did not hear anything in the show as to the medical aspects of why she cannot have a child - only that it was said in her horoscope that she cannot be a mother.

Seriously??!?!? People try for years and years and finally do have a child, or have children in some other ways. My friend's sister had two children after going through issues not being able to get pregnant for years and thinking she couldn't have a child. She even did get pregnant and kept having miscarriages. Finally she had to do in vitro and take medications and got pregnant twice, and had healthy babies. The only thing was, she had to be in bedrest for 9 months because of her issues in the past with the miscarriages and not being able to get pregnant.

Anyway, these are just my thoughts.

Early on in the show, during a flashback Ishita was shown fainting at her engagement to Subbu and the doctor telling Subbu Ishita can never get pregnant. But doctors have known to be wrong about these things. I know of women who married very young and had two healthy children 10 and 20 years later without medical intervention. It works for some with medical intervention and sometimes it's just the timing of things. It's been known that a woman's emotional state sometimes impedes her from conceiving. Some couples adopt a child and soon they get pregnant...medical science can't explain such occurrences.

If Ishita was poked at by Bala24's mother yet again at Vandu's godhbharai (Iyers only do rituals for the birth of the first child, so CVs have unleashed their creative license 😕 and misrepresented the Iyer community once more). As long as Ishita continues gives away her power to Bala24's mother every time, the old lady will continue to taunt her. Also, somewhere deep inside Ishita still believes she's incomplete without a biological child of her own. Who knows! Raman's swimmers may do the miraculous job as the show proceeds😛. The event was just the setting for another round of drama.🤔

Edited by MERARAI - 10 years ago

Quote

1 2 3 4 5

Ishita silence and sadness at being called banj undermines ruhi - Page 4

Related Topics

Explore Topics