Originally posted by: nividances
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Hey Gan! I've been a silent reader of the topics on this forum for the past few days because I've honestly been trying to see if someone could possibly shed some light on what's going on in this show right now. I've read posts bashing Raman and Toshi ji, posts explaining Raman's perspective, posts claiming that Ishita deserves the treatment she's getting, posts relating this track to the Mani track, posts wanting Adi to die, etc. I just read them and didn't bother to comment because I didn't know how to word my frustrations and pen them down coherently. But reading your post today, I couldn't help myself from throwing my somewhat composed thoughts out into the discussion as well.
Raman was my FAVORITE character on the show because he was REAL; he showed flaws but he also showed growth. When Adi first came into the Bhalla house, I loved Raman's stance about his son. Adi would have to accept the bitter reality of his parent's divorce and move on with the fact that Ishita is the most important part of his father's life now. When Raman expressed multiple times how much he loved Ishita, I couldn't believe that we were actually seeing some true character growth in an Indian TV serial, but I was overjoyed about this. Even when Raman yelled at Ishita and said some pretty unforgettable and nasty things to her in his anger, I could understand his perspective as a father who had just started building a delicate relationship with his son after so many years, only to have his hopes shattered again. Oftentimes when we are angry, we say the first thing that comes to our mind and we lose all capacity to judge how bitter those words actually are. Usually when we are angry, we lose awareness for what we are saying, when and where we are saying it, and how we might sound to others. I was even able to half-digest his ignorance at the true reason behind Ishita's anger and inability to appropriately apologize to her because a lot of times husbands just don't get it and they try to smooth things over or sweep things under the carpet by acting like things are all normal right after a big fight (words of my mom). Up until that point, I was still able to watch Raman while cringing at his behavior and dialogues, but without feeling like I was banging my head against a wall.
The point where I could no longer justify his actions even a tiny bit started from when Ishita clearly expressed why she was upset with him, and the words just didn't reach his brain. But chalo, even that was maybe just one or two steps backwards for him. Another hit when Adi introduced Ishita as the neighbor, but let's give Raman the benefit of doubt and say that he didn't hear those words. But what in the world could possibly justify his words in today's precap??? I completely lost it after hearing those words because NOTHING, absolutely nothing, can redeem Raman as a husband after this!
It's your first lohri celebration with your wife after your marriage. Okay granted that you two are going through a rough patch and things are not okay between the two of you, but you yourself have countless times expressed just recently how much your wife means to you, both through your words and your actions. Fine, you love your son and are over the moon about the fact that he's finally connecting to you after all these years. But to agree to do the lohri pooja with your ex-wife of 6 years on the mere insistence of your son (who frankly didn't even throw that big of a hissy fit) just because you can't find your wife at that moment and the "mahurat" is passing by? Really? Then on what grounds are you going to proclaim later that you love your wife and give her the "izzat" and "bharosa" that she is asking from you? Are you not behaving like the biggest hypocrite right now by giving your son the same false sense of security and hope about his divorced parents reuniting into a happy family that you reprimanded your wife for after her actions at the New Year party? The level of disappointment and frustration that I felt during today's precap is at an all-time high; I fail to see how Raman can be redeemed now. Why go to such extremes to butcher a character and increase the drama quotient only to have everything be okay in the end within the blink of an eye?
Today it was locking Ishita into a room and insisting his father do the pooja with his mom, but tomorrow Adi will go one step further until he has thrown Ishita out of the house completely. What is it going to take for Raman Bhalla to draw the line of what's acceptable and what's not?
At this point, it doesn't really matter if Adi's true intentions and Shagun's manipulation of her son comes out in front of Raman and the rest of the Bhallas because it wouldn't change the fact that they have been blindly putting Ishita as well as Ruhi down for Adi's sake. They have clearly shown that their loyalty lies with their ghar ka chirag and they don't give two hoots for their daughter-in-law unless she is doing things for them, sacrificing her happiness, or taking care of their every need. Even if Raman is completely unaware of the true intention of Adi's actions, how would knowing the truth change anything? Would it make him love his son any less? I don't think so because the father who can look past his son's earlier criminal acts that have caused his mother-in-law to land up in the hospital and his wife to end up in jail shouldn't have too tough of a time forgiving his son for trying to plot against his wife and throw her out of the house.
I honestly don't see how things can go back to normal (even though I know they will) because every single person in the Bhalla household has blatantly expressed that Adi is the most important person for them and both Ruhi and Ishita come at a far second. Raman can blast his six-year old daughter without a second thought, but he can't put his foot down on his son's most outrageous demands? His son places hundreds of conditions before coming back to him, but his daughter has selflessly loved him for all these years even when he didn't give her a second glance. His daughter even outright proclaimed that her father was her most favorite person in the world, but Raman didn't feel the true value of being a father until his son came back into his life. I don't expect Raman to completely detach himself from Adi, but why completely erase the growth that his character had shown after Amma's accident track and to a large extent the beginning of this track?
Coming to Ishita, I have nothing much to say except that I feel extremely sorry for her. She's going through all this silently just for the sake of her husband and family, who can clearly see but still willingly choose to ignore her plight all for the sake of their so-call ghar ka chirag.
That came out much longer than expected, so sorry for giving you this entire essay. You don't have to read through every word; I just wanted to vent out my frustrations. Thank you for the space Gan!
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