Aditya Bhalla - A problem 12 years in the making - Page 5

Originally posted by: Metamorphmagus

Excellent post Lucky. I am in full agreement with you. Each and every line of yours is correct. Shagun is not going to change any time soon. So, putting her aside, it is Ishita and Raman along with the rest of the family who ought to take responsibility in correcting this 12 year mistake. But both of them are behaving cautiously, taking baby steps to gain Adi's love and trust before they begin to show him the right path. They know how spoilt Adi is. Raman witnessed it and was heartbroken to see his son think he can get away with anything because of a powerful father. In a way, he has been protected all this time. It is disappointing to see Raman succumb to his longing and forget about the accident track.

Originally posted by: always_a_TV_fan

Hey all,

If you opened the post after reading the title, I do thank you 😳 Brilliant post Lucky!👏

At this point, yes Aditya is wrong, he is bad, he is border-line evil. He is acting like a full-fledged villain, with all the smartness and the evil tactics of an adult. I agree with all that, and I shudder when I think of such a child in real life. He could well turn out to be a narcisstic psychopath if his course is not redirected with professional help. BUT, Aditya Bhalla is a 'problem' that has been 12 years in the making. Everyone (on the show) is expecting that problem to be fixed overnight. The child is purely a product of the influence around him, and by influence I mean the various enablers he's had for his current personality & actions.

1) Shagun: Her prime motivation in life has been her own self. I would like to think she has some maternal instinct in her and maybe 0.1% of her heart actually has a place for Aditya if not Ruhi. However, in her quest for the material pleasures of life, she's been enabling Aditya. She's used him as an 'excuse' to leave Raman, she's poisoned Aditya to the extent that the child actually said/believed he was abused by his father. Shagun may have used Raman's temper to convince Adi that Raman was abusive even if he didn't physically abuse him and at that age an insecure child who clings to his mother will believe anything his mother tells him. Right from his infancy, Aditya has been told by his mother that he can get what he wants. Now is a good time to ask Shagun how comes she didn't get what she wants. 😛 But Adi is blinded by the desperation to make his mother happy. AND what he wants is always right. The worst part of it all is that she has put on a perfect mask of maternal love. Which makes Aditya think that anything he does is justified, as long as it makes his mother happy.Who needs enemies when a mother like Shagun is around to string along her puppet son for her selfish ends. There is a Tamil saying "kuzhandhai nallavanum aavadhum theeyavan aavadhum annaiyin valarpinilai". (A child is born good, whether he turns out to be good or evil is due to his mother's upbringing).

2) Ashok: He initially accepted Aditya, because he came as a bundle-offer with Shagun. He's financially supported Aditya and has fulfilled every wish of the child. At some point, Adi became another weapon in his artillery. He had found something that could hurt Raman more than taking away Shagun did. He's enabled Aditya's misdirected sense of right and wrong. Adi got to live the good life with Ashok and is still very materialistic. like mother like son. Lambu reinforced Adi's sense of entitlement, after all he was never told NO for anything, he was indulged in every way just to keep him around to use against Raman.

3) Raman: I know everyone says he's blinded by his love for his son. I slightly disagree. Raman is blinded when it comes to Adi, yes. But I dont think it is just love. Raman is more driven by the lack of love from Aditya's end. And in this quest to 'gain' Aditya's love, Raman is enabling him too. He fails to see that his child could have any sinister side. Even during the accident track, it took Aditya's proclamation (that his father would always save him) for Raman to see what his son had become. That should have made Raman smarter and alerted to him that when Aditya is around, things may not always be as they seem. This lack of realisation from Raman actually strengthens Aditya's actions. He doesnt see a disciplinarian in his father. Exactly! 👍🏼 Raman is weak as a father, his desperation to win Adi's love blinds him to his responsibility as a parent. Both father and son share a volatile temper and Raman's failure to even consider how much Shagun has to do with Adi's demands day after day is

4) Ishita: She is one of the reasons I got the title that I did. Ishita's frame-of-reference of a child are kids like Ruhi and Shravan. She's also now in love with Raman. All that makes her think she can handle Aditya and she can fix him overnight. She tried to "solve" Aditya by using quick-fix measures thinking being nice and good always works. It took Aditya's story-telling to shake her belief. But she hasnt acted on that knowledge yet. She's neither reprimanded Adi nor discussed this with anyone else. Aditya's confidence is only increased by this. He sees Ishita as a weak opponent. Ishita hasnt been around long enough to enable his personality, but I think she sure is enabling his actions today. Ishita can't deal with Adi, a tween with serious emotional issues on her own (his evil plotting by taking Toshiji's meds is a huge red flag not to mention telling her of his plans to oust her from the family). Raman is expecting Ishita to step up and fix the situation and when things don't pan out he takes it out on her. She's doomed if she does and if she doesn't. Raman needs a huge wake up call...will it be Ishita or Ruhi? In her zest to make Raman happy and bring Adi closer to him, Ishita has become an enabler of Raman's behavior too.

PS: Toshiji: I didnt mention her as an enabler because we dont see her interacting with Adi directly too much (her Chiraag-jaap is reserved for our ears, not Adi's)LOL!😆

My post is not intended to gain any support for Aditya (a bit of empathy maybe). But I think every adult around him has failed him. We can debate endlessly about the degree of culpability of the 4 main enablers, but that doesnt change the fact that they are all responsible for Aditya as he is today. And if Raman and Ishita don't do something soon, they may end up being worse for Aditya than Shagun and Ashok. If Raman and Ishita intend to be Aditya's parents or guardians for life, then they need to find a real counsellor soon.

I found this quote symbolic of something in the show right now...

"All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. "

- Erma Bombeck

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PS: I am very cautious (and a bit sensitive) when it comes to children. So I request you to be kind when criticising the character of Aditya and not use hurtful words. And please, no comments on the actor playing the role. Children are born innocent, they learn to manipulate from their environment. Sooner of later Shagun will get a taste of the fruits of her parenting when Adi turns around and uses the manipulative skills she drilled in him over the years.

Originally posted by: always_a_TV_fan

Anu ki bacchhi... mere se itni mehnat karwaaogi😲 ? You are lucky I have patience😎😆

Thanks for your detailed reply😊

See, Ishita's frame of reference is Ruhi & Shravan. And with Ruhi, Ishita got lucky because Ruhi was looking for Love. And Ruhi is young and 'mouldable'. With Adi, he doesnt want love, neither from her NOR from Raman. Adi thinks his mother's 'love' is all he needs. He is just looking for establishing his mother in the Bhalla house. This is the difference that Ishita didn't realise at the beginning. But, I won't fault her for this, because no one is born a parent.

My grudge with her is, she should have realised how dark Adi has become when the medicine and story incidents happened. If not earlier, now she knows this boy is upto no good. And when I say she is enabling the child this is what I mean. Today (perfect timing for me to reply to you btw), she was ready to apologise to Shagun when she knew its Adi who wants this ? I am not asking Ishita to hate Adi and kick him out. But at the same time I am not even asking her to bend to his every wish.😳

About Raman, I disagree with you a bit. I still believe he should do more. He may be under the impression that his child is 'cured' but Adi's demand for an apology should ring warning bells in his ears.

and thanks for liking the PS😳

Originally posted by: mnr123

Awesome post. 👏 Thanks Megha 😳

The curious case of Adi Bhalla (he is no more Khanna I hope 😛 AsMi life mein step-child introduce mat karo please... let their love remain as peaceful as it is 😆)

When the track started, I had hopes that it will be about Adi's struggle to accept Raman n see other people's goodness but alas. 😆 I m stupid to keep expectations from CVs.

Firstly we never saw Raman making any efforts to build a bond between Adi n himself. Bed wetting is a real serious issue, while Raman did tried to discipline Adi when he was beating up Shravu but he shud have spoken with Adi some Man to Man talk after he knew the whole thing.

The problem with Adi is - he has lived his life with wrong morals n 12 years of teachings cant be wiped out overnight as u rightly put. 😳

I dont know about serial story but in reality - it will be difficult for Adi to accept Ishita as his mom n leave Shagun even after he knows what Shagun actually is in real. Love doesnt understand the right or wrong. Adi just loves his mom n whatever he does is for his mom's wellbeing or giving her back her rights - in this he is not getting that he is ruining his own life.

Raman firstly shud not expect Ishita to be Adi's Ishima coz he is a different child - with Ruhi it was much easier coz Ruhi was deprived of mother and father's love so Ruhi could easily consider Ishita as a mother coz Ishita filled in the deprived love.

Raman shud keep Adi away from Ishita coz he knows Adi hates her and can hurt her and is Adi is getting hurt himself in the process.

Raman shud talk to Adi n know n understand what he wants n explain him what realities r or what he can have.

Raman majorly is in a bad situation here coz he knows that if he utters one bad word to Adi then Adi with Shagun will leave the house, n Shagun's influence on Adi is not gud. But that doesnt mean Bhallas shud listen to all demands of Shagun n dance according to her tunes.

The PROBLEM - Raman n Ishita r not talking 😆, it all takes is a TALK- talk as responsible adults on how to parent Adi. They r thinking on their own. Raman has his own way n Ishita is using her own way. If just these two come together n agree on things like how to approach disciplining Adi then something constructive will come up.

Adi needs counselling but he also needs a supportive n loving home. 😳

P.S- Sorry for grammatical mistakes - was doing some other work n too lazy to fix them 😛

Originally posted by: Metamorphmagus

That "Happy Family" thing is crap. What kind of a counselor comes up with a solution for bed wetting in just one session? She hardly asked him any questions. If anything his answers revealed he has a problem with his father.

Seeing Ruhi happy, everyone has high hopes from Ishita. Adi and Ruhi are completely different cases and it is not fair to compare. I remember the time Ishita took Adi shopping for school clothes. She was polite yet firm and I was very impressed. Now, she is just staying quiet to not hurt Adi. But really, there is no hurting. That kid might throw a few tantrums. At least everything will be out in the open and they can tackle the problem. This secrecy is not helping.

I saw the episode in bits. Ishita say something like "Bacche ke saamne kya self respect? Kya ego". This argument is valid once or twice but not every single time.

Originally posted by: krishy13

Beautiful and sensible post! Adi is the truly product of his environment (ignoring all the "creative liberty" taken by the CVs with his character).

This track is shaping up so all the blame for Adi's actions is falling on Shagun's "brainwashing." We have heard that justification from so many characters in the last few days, but is that 100% true? No way! Shagun may have poisoned his thought process but the Bhalla parivaar including Ishita have constantly endulged him. Collectively everyone has failed Adi, and it will be even harder to help him now than before. Additionally by allowing things to escalate and then taking a disiplinarian's role (like in the accident track), Raman is further convoluting Adi's thought-process.

Who knows how this track will end but someone needs to step up to the plate for Adi. It's unsettling to see such vicousness from a child. The sense of entitlement Adi has is one thing, but it has gotten out of hand.

Thank you for such a well-versed post! It's amazing to me that despite the fact the CVs seem to royally butcher so much of their story when it comes to dealing with sensitive issues, the original target audience is still able to engage in a practical discussion about them.

Originally posted by: chinyere

Maybe my math calculation is wrong but how can aditya be a problem 12 years in the making when he was living with both parents from conception to around 6 years...which makes it around 6 years he living with Ashok and shagun where all the confusion and separation started. Isnt that calculation has to start from the time he left the Bhalla's house and not from the time he was living there? Therefore, the problem stemmed from him being separated from Raman and living with ashok which can only be amounted to 6 yrs not the full 12yrs...

Because if we counting the early years then Aditya living with th Bhallas is a very inappropriate arrangement since the problem stemmed from there and not with Ashok. Aditay didn't haveny hatred or anger towards Ashok when he was around 6 years old? but he has a problem with ishita when he is 12 years old which makes it clear that Adity problem wasn't in the making of 12 years but the 6 years after that when he cant get what he wants and he wants his mother back in the Bhalla house that is his problem