A father Reborn - Nov 12 - Page 4

Originally posted by: _Divya_

b'ful! 😊

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

Doc will UD soon sorry was busy today

Originally posted by: sumiko

For all those who do not know why their marriage is not working should read your article. However,one thing I believe all this can transpire between a man and woman in wedlock or out of wedlock only if there is an electric chemistry between them.Otherwise its a case of everything in place but the fuse is gone.Till that happens there is no spark no light, no chemistry.In life every man and woman is not blessed to meet the one with whom there is a chemistry.That is indeed destiny.

Originally posted by: Eyes-Wide-Shut

Well firstly thank you very much for your compliment, I am not marriage counsellor neither am I married to know the intricacies of making this institution work, I just write if a moment touches me. 😊

I completely agree with you that marriage isn't a necessity for companionship and understanding, as long as two people have the 'chemistry' you talk about and same outlook in life then a relationship can grow between them. My friend destiny is funny, we can just hope that we are blessed to find the one with whom we can share 'chemistry'.

Originally posted by: sumiko

I sincerely wish you meet a person with whom there is chemistry.To have met such a person is a blessing in itself.It doesn't really matter if it culminates in marriage or not.To have loved in such a way and lost is better than to have never found such a love. It is this type of chemistry which even the Gods envy. That is why we love IshRa so much.They are able to portray such a chemistry. And those of us who have experienced it identify with them and relive those moments.Those who have not been so fortunate revel in their chemistry and make it part of their fantasy.That is why they say love is a many splendour thing.

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

edited on page 1 Doc

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

res

hi Doc, sorry for taking the time but I needed it to pen this post. Hey Aani! Please do not apologize, I enjoy reading your well thought out replies so please write when you feel like it and when you have time, no compulsion ever! I am just happy that I can share my ramblings here and you all are kind enough to read and respond. 😊

Somehow reading your post I was reminded of a scene in the movie Aaja Nachle that featured Madhuri and Konkana. In the movie Konkana' character is madly in love with that of Kunal Karan Kapoor' - perhaps you may have seen the movie and thus know this too, however he always runs away from her. When Madhuri zeroes in on Konkana to play Laila in her play, Kunal has to be Majnu...but there is a roadblock because of the guy' visible dislike towards Konkana. When she learns of the problem Madhuri is shown scolding Konkana its your fault if he runs away from you - have you seen you? She asks...Konkana doesnt understand the meaning of those words initially and then Madhuri makes her realize her untidy ways drive away the guy she loves - the way she behaves makes him scram from the place where she is seen.

I know, I know I am going on a completely different tangent but bear with me...so Madhuri gives Konkana a makeover - not the drastic kind just a simple one - she teaches her to act like a lady and to behave like a woman. That does the trick and the pair unite - what makes this scene unforgettable to me in this very poor movie frankly is a line

"Woh abhi tak majnu isiliye nahi ban paaya, kyunki tum ab tak Laila nahi bani."

I found it such a lovely thought and hence it stayed with me. That's a very interesting perspective, for someone to be a Romeo there has to be a Juliet...brilliant.

The reason the line came back to me with this post of yours was and is simple - the title you have put up for this post a father is reborn. You seem to be liking the titles, you also liked the benevolence of old age...reminded you of Baghban! Such a treat that you tie in movies to YHM 😊

What made Raman Bhalla a father again - or rather who did - Ishita Bhalla, the woman who is the epitome of motherhood.

He experienced fatherhood twice courtesy another woman who bore his children - he found the joy of awaiting for 9 months for his children, then to take them in his arms for the first time as they were born...but he dint become a father in the real sense of the term until Ishita Bhalla stepped into his life.

Raman experienced fatherhood as a biological phenomenon with Shagun - but the journey of being a parent; he is making that with Ishita by his side. What a wonderful contradiction...like I said I found those lines coming back to me for this post of yours. Exactly! Raman became a biological father with Shagun but he became a parent. father in real sense with Ishita!

Who were Laila and Majnu?

As per myths, legends and love stories - they were a pair of lovers who meant to be but alas, they were star-crossed, doomed from the very beginning. However it is true as well, that for there to be a Majnu, there has to be a Laila as well - someone who is his reflection...someone who can don his garb as well when required and needed - the garb of a lover whose love has no extent.

A popular old song has these lines in its verse,

"Bhes majnu ka liya maine jo laila hokar

Rang laaya hai dupatta mere maila hokar."

I need not explain to you the gist of these lines - because they are self-explanatory. You know I am a sucker for music and poetry, and this just put me in a really good mood.

Raman Bhalla always had the potential to love, to give but the woman who first crossed paths with him wasn't capable of that - she had just one thing around which everything in her universe revolved - I, me and myself - beyond this there was nothing or no one of importance to her ever. No wonder their marriage did not last - they became spouses, had children but could not become lovers and hence could not even don the garb of parenthood even when they had children together. Aani I don't remember where but I said the exact same thing, Raman's heart is brimming with love, he just didn't find anyone who can bring out his love and his emotions. We all have the capability to love, we just have to find the right person to shower our love. And Ishita is that person in Raman's life you explored his soul and gave him the courage to be vulnerable again and open his heart to love and have the courage to express his love for his family, children and love himself!

For the first thing that makes a marriage last is not letting the I overpower the we, the us in the equation - something Raman learned last night. At the first sign of him alienating himself he was gently reminded there is no I or you anymore among us - it is an us - you are no longer a single entity, nor can you think of yourself as one...as I do not as well.

He was taken aback as he let the words sink in and could only smile on he had realized he has someone - he knew it for a long time now, that this woman is a giving soul, she would always be with him...never abandon him. This woman has shown through her actions time and again what is this marriage to her - but her words, they meant something to him and hence the moment, he savored it.

For him to take the journey of love and marriage - he needed a lover, a wife, a partner and a soul mate who came in his life as Ishita Raman Bhalla...for him to live fatherhood, to be a parent - he needed a woman who could mother his children as well - after all what is being a parent? What does having a child entail? That scene in the car spoke to me for this exact reason, Raman saw in Ishita a partner, who will hold his hand through the turbulence of life, they will be a team! He found a wife, a lover, a daughter in law and most importantly a mother for his lost children in Ishita!

Being a parent is having a part of your heart and soul walk out of your body, it is having the purest, the fiercest form of undying, selfless love for someone who becomes the center of your universe.

You bring a life in this world when you have a child - but to be a parent is to have your life, your whole world revolve around your child. Parents have children when they indulge in the act of love-making but it's your children who make you parents when you take the journey to nurture them, nourish them, care for them and protect them from the moment they step in your life. You know my mom always says, the bravest battle one fights in life is being a parent, it's a battle with oneself because that a parent fights everyday.

Like I said Raman had always the ability to love, to give but that ability was not recognized, appreciated by a woman who could not understand emotions. Hence, even when Raman had children with her he could not be a father to them - for Raman Bhalla had to learn truly, what it is to love, to give, for he had to see the beauty of generosity and the goodness of the soul.

It is when his life illuminated by the presence of a woman who came in his life when he became cynical and jaded that he found his way - to love, to giving at last.

With Ishita, he found a woman who would always stand by him when needed - fight for him, protect him, care for him when required but also fight against him, show him the harsh truths and bitter realities when necessary.

At his lowest, she became his silent strength, his rock repeatedly when she stood by him when she let him know Ruhi was indeed his own, when she held his hand even as he cried while punishing his son. At his worst, she stood against him - shielding the daughter who is the apple of their eye and even threatened; he never dare hurt her child.

She was the mother his children needed even before she was the mother wanted by them - how could he not reciprocate? How could he not take the step towards her then to meet her halfway? For finally with her he found the beacon he desperately needed to guide him in his life, the strength to stand tall and strong and the partner who wouldn't let go off his hand ever no matter what.

When Raman found the ability to love again - he learned to give...when he learned to give he could love and when he could love could he became a complete man - a man who is the amalgamation of a son, brother, friend, husband and father. Exactly! Raman becomes whole with Ishita, she completes him! Loving some isn't easy, the most courageous thing one can do is love someone, and Ishita gave him that courage to love again, to let is inner desires out...he became complete with Ishita. He became a MAN in the real sense of the word.

And just like in the ride back home last night he had Ishita with him letting in that cool breeze, making him see the beauty of not being alone anymore in the journey of life too she is doing the same for him - she is there letting him see the beauty of having someone by his side the various journeys he had so far always taken all alone - that of love, marriage and even parenthood.

Thank you so much for penning down such a brilliant response, it was a treat to read. I am so thankful you took out the time to do this, you surely made my day! 😊