A father Reborn - Nov 12

A father Reborn

This is why I love this show so much! Yesterday we got romance between a mature couple trying to juggle their feelings along with their families and today we got an episode where we saw a mature couple juggle their lives along with their families.

Relationships and especially marriage is multifaceted, as couple grows in their marriage so do the intricacies of relationships they build around them. As Raman and Ishita take steps towards each other they bring along all the external relationships with them as well. Marriage is a poor business deal for the shortsighted and a great investment for players who are in it for the long run.

On the surface of things, marriage is a exchange of problems, where you accept your partner's baggage as your own and give them yours, on the surface it sounds like exchange of misery but for souls like Ishita and Raman it is an investment of a lifetime because what they get post the exchange of this baggage is a gift of togetherness, unwavering support, love and web a beautiful relationships.

Raman today said, everyone is blaming Shagun, but this is my fault. My past is bringing problems in Ishita's life', never have any truer words been spoken than these by RKB. This is his baggage that he must share with Ishita if they want this marriage to be successful, however unfair Ishita must help carry the weight of his past to salvage their present and Raman must help carry Ishita's baggage of insecurity to salvage their marriage.

Raman became a father to Ruhi in its true sense after he married Ishita, today Raman became a father to Adi in its true sense after he fell in love with Ishita. Raman reprimanded Adi, raised his voice and instilled the fear of punishment like a good father. Ishita made Raman a father twice, and she still calls herself barren! Oh the Irony of life.

What better definition of a mother than Ishita, her resilience, unrelenting support for her children, a heart full of love and a mind that knows right from wrong. Knowing when to be stern and when enamor her child with soft eyes full of love.

Today we saw a marriage in it's true sense, a couple carrying each other's baggage together, a couple trying to make each other better parents and a couple trying to navigate through a web of relationships towards togetherness.

In the car while driving home, a husband looks to comfort his wife, a husband looks to wash his guilt while a wife looks to wipe away her husband's sorrow by washing away his guilt. A window rolled down, a smile on her face she lets the cold breeze in to freshen and remove the stale scent that surrounded her beautiful marriage, she utters the words he longs to hear...Should we head back to OUR home!

My love for songs...I can't help it so here it goes:

Is mod se jaate hain

Kuchh sust kadam raste

Kuchh tez kadam raahein

This turn in their relationship is beautiful, a few lazy moments of togetherness on a fast pace road of life. They yearn for these lazy moments where they can be together; alone to explore one another as a couple, on the fast paced life of relationships.

Patthar ki haveli ko

Sheeshe ke gharaundon mein

Tinkon ke nasheman tak

Is mod se jaate hain

They have build their marriage as a strong fortress made of stones ready to weather any storms, but in that marriage live two individuals that are made of delicate glass, a small gush of wind can break their house of glass but this beautiful turn of events in their life can see them through to everlasting companionship.

I wasn't supposed to make a post today but I was so touched by these characters today that I couldn't help myself. This is again a 15 minute botched up job because unfortunately studying beckons.

PS: Thank you G! (GanBarunFan) for teaching me how to upload and resize images...you are a rockstar ⭐️

This is just Divine Doc

wow if this is your botched up job...what is finesse then?
I loved today's episode too...a calm after the tempest of all kinds in yesterday's episode...marriage is so much more than just deep attraction and feelings...especially a marriage which comes with, like you said baggage of the past...not only of just a broken marriage but of an ugly divorce and its collateral damage that are his two children. Today they showed that though they started their marriage on a compromise, there in no lacking in the solid foundation of understanding these two have formed which will stands their relationship in good stead for years to come. The subtle way they showed this..is what makes YHM so special to me.
loved this part of your write up the best

"In the car while driving home, a husband looks to comfort his wife, a husband looks to wash his guilt while a wife looks to wipe away her husband's sorrow by washing away his guilt. A window rolled down, a smile on her face she lets the cold breeze in to freshen and remove the stale scent that surrounded her beautiful marriage, she utters the words he longs to hear...Should we head back to OUR home!"

I love your song selections both here and in my thread a lot as both are very favorite songs of mine.

That edit...Mashallah! 👏I love black and white..my fav way to edit...but loved the signature the best🤣...

but sorry I cant take credit for this as the only thing I helped you with was the the name of the app...rest is all you!! Another way of playing with Puttar😉 😆

wowie... A brilliant piece a result of a 15 minute bloched up job? Impressive.

Love ur pick of the song from Aandhi.

Yup. This is what marital relationship is about. Each one going above and beyond for the other and being around for one another.

7 months and these two have forged one deep bond. We got to see the depth of it.

Res

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hi Doc, sorry for taking the time but I needed it to pen this post.

Somehow reading your post I was reminded of a scene in the movie Aaja Nachle that featured Madhuri and Konkana. In the movie Konkana' character is madly in love with that of Kunal Karan Kapoor' - perhaps you may have seen the movie and thus know this too, however he always runs away from her. When Madhuri zeroes in on Konkana to play Laila in her play, Kunal has to be Majnu...but there is a roadblock because of the guy' visible dislike towards Konkana. When she learns of the problem Madhuri is shown scolding Konkana its your fault if he runs away from you - have you seen you? She asks...Konkana doesnt understand the meaning of those words initially and then Madhuri makes her realize her untidy ways drive away the guy she loves - the way she behaves makes him scram from the place where she is seen.

I know, I know I am going on a completely different tangent but bear with me...so Madhuri gives Konkana a makeover - not the drastic kind just a simple one - she teaches her to act like a lady and to behave like a woman. That does the trick and the pair unite - what makes this scene unforgettable to me in this very poor movie frankly is a line

"Woh abhi tak majnu isiliye nahi ban paaya, kyunki tum ab tak Laila nahi bani."

I found it such a lovely thought and hence it stayed with me.

The reason the line came back to me with this post of yours was and is simple - the title you have put up for this post a father is reborn.

What made Raman Bhalla a father again - or rather who did - Ishita Bhalla, the woman who is the epitome of motherhood.

He experienced fatherhood twice courtesy another woman who bore his children - he found the joy of awaiting for 9 months for his children, then to take them in his arms for the first time as they were born...but he dint become a father in the real sense of the term until Ishita Bhalla stepped into his life.

Raman experienced fatherhood as a biological phenomenon with Shagun - but the journey of being a parent; he is making that with Ishita by his side. What a wonderful contradiction...like I said I found those lines coming back to me for this post of yours.

Who were Laila and Majnu?

As per myths, legends and love stories - they were a pair of lovers who meant to be but alas, they were star-crossed, doomed from the very beginning. However it is true as well, that for there to be a Majnu, there has to be a Laila as well - someone who is his reflection...someone who can don his garb as well when required and needed - the garb of a lover whose love has no extent.

A popular old song has these lines in its verse,

"Bhes majnu ka liya maine jo laila hokar

Rang laaya hai dupatta mere maila hokar."

I need not explain to you the gist of these lines - because they are self-explanatory.

Raman Bhalla always had the potential to love, to give but the woman who first crossed paths with him wasn't capable of that - she had just one thing around which everything in her universe revolved - I, me and myself - beyond this there was nothing or no one of importance to her ever. No wonder their marriage did not last - they became spouses, had children but could not become lovers and hence could not even don the garb of parenthood even when they had children together.

For the first thing that makes a marriage last is not letting the I overpower the we, the us in the equation - something Raman learned last night. At the first sign of him alienating himself he was gently reminded there is no I or you anymore among us - it is an us - you are no longer a single entity, nor can you think of yourself as one...as I do not as well.

He was taken aback as he let the words sink in and could only smile on he had realized he has someone - he knew it for a long time now, that this woman is a giving soul, she would always be with him...never abandon him. This woman has shown through her actions time and again what is this marriage to her - but her words, they meant something to him and hence the moment, he savored it.

For him to take the journey of love and marriage - he needed a lover, a wife, a partner and a soul mate who came in his life as Ishita Raman Bhalla...for him to live fatherhood, to be a parent - he needed a woman who could mother his children as well - after all what is being a parent? What does having a child entail?

Being a parent is having a part of your heart and soul walk out of your body, it is having the purest, the fiercest form of undying, selfless love for someone who becomes the center of your universe.

You bring a life in this world when you have a child - but to be a parent is to have your life, your whole world revolve around your child. Parents have children when they indulge in the act of love-making but it's your children who make you parents when you take the journey to nurture them, nourish them, care for them and protect them from the moment they step in your life.

Like I said Raman had always the ability to love, to give but that ability was not recognized, appreciated by a woman who could not understand emotions. Hence, even when Raman had children with her he could not be a father to them - for Raman Bhalla had to learn truly, what it is to love, to give, for he had to see the beauty of generosity and the goodness of the soul.

It is when his life illuminated by the presence of a woman who came in his life when he became cynical and jaded that he found his way - to love, to giving at last.

With Ishita, he found a woman who would always stand by him when needed - fight for him, protect him, care for him when required but also fight against him, show him the harsh truths and bitter realities when necessary.

At his lowest, she became his silent strength, his rock repeatedly when she stood by him when she let him know Ruhi was indeed his own, when she held his hand even as he cried while punishing his son. At his worst, she stood against him - shielding the daughter who is the apple of their eye and even threatened; he never dare hurt her child.

She was the mother his children needed even before she was the mother wanted by them - how could he not reciprocate? How could he not take the step towards her then to meet her halfway? For finally with her he found the beacon he desperately needed to guide him in his life, the strength to stand tall and strong and the partner who wouldn't let go off his hand ever no matter what.

When Raman found the ability to love again - he learned to give...when he learned to give he could love and when he could love could he became a complete man - a man who is the amalgamation of a son, brother, friend, husband and father.

And just like in the ride back home last night he had Ishita with him letting in that cool breeze, making him see the beauty of not being alone anymore in the journey of life too she is doing the same for him - she is there letting him see the beauty of having someone by his side in the various journeys he had so far always taken all alone - that of love, marriage and even parenthood.

Hi Doc.. Apologies for this delay! Been working non-stop for 3 days.. So very sleep deprived and hence I can be incoherent and somewhere even lose sense! Apologies for that too.. And wow! What a wonderful post! 😊👏And what a perfect title! 👏👏Think I'm gonna stick to writing about Raman the father today!

We often tend to get lost in Raman - the puttar to notice his flaws as a father! Yes, we saw him as an unfair dad to Ruhi, as a changed dad to Ruhi, as an over loving son to Adi but we've seen and know little of what/how he was as a father from the time Shagun decided to leave him until she actually did!

A six-year old being witness to marital issues between parents is by far the most stressful and traumatic thing for any child. And had Raman been the world's best papa then, maybe Adi wouldn't have been what he is today! Today, when Ruhi is angry - he wants to go all out to please her even if that means apologising to the one person he can't stand (he can even hug her and say I love you to the woman just to keep his daughter happy). Today when Ruhi wants to question her dad, he wants to explain himself to her - and tell her papa is very sorry and that papa loves her. (I agree Ishita took the initiative but wouldn't Raman have also tried to talk to her and explain himself?)

I wonder if Raman did anything like that when his son was 6 years old! Did Raman try explaining to Adi what was happening? Did Raman try to tell Adi that even if mumma and papa separate papa will always love him? We have a fb scene where he tells Shagun children need love the most - Did he get that message across to Adi as well? - That even if papa is unable to fulfil his needs, he will always love him irrespective of where he is?

Today a Raman was willing to marry the very woman he hates to keep his daughter, did he take any such extreme step to try and keep his son? NO, he didn't. Because the loving husband in him had died and so had the responsibility of a father! In his own depression of his marriage breaking, Raman had ignored his responsibilities and then cried over them some more! He always blamed Shagun and Ashok of spoiling Adi - but it was his failure in the first place which led to everything else.

"Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating...too often fathers neglect it because they get so caught up in making a living they forget to make a life." John Wooden

Adi went away and came back 6 years later! Yes you cried for him but how could that help him? He came back as a 12 year old brat! A completely misguided, disobedient, ill-mannered child! And he made mistakes. But even now - Raman who by now was on his way of becoming the world's best papa - couldn't do the right thing with Adi. The kid insults elders left right and centre and all Raman can do is give in to his demands! All children are their parents' weakness but no parent can get so weak to allow their children go wrong. Not over and over.

Raman's biggest fault as a father lay in the fact that he could never do the right thing at the right time! And while no time is wrong to do the right thing, sometimes, the right thing not done at the right time will have no meaning when done later! This boy almost killed someone, but got punished only much later. Only after he had already got the idea that is father will never let any harm come to him! And the result is that today he's learnt nothing - he's willing to repeat his mistakes. Again! But for once! Today, Raman finally stood for what is right at the right time. He has shown his son the right path at the right time. And to me, today Raman Bhalla was truly a father, reborn!

The last time he realised he was wrong - he looked upto his wife for support! Asked her to become his strength so he could make his son right! And it was for that very strength that today - he did what was right and spelt out his son's wrong.

Ishita has made Raman pause and reflect on his past time and again. She has been the mirror Raman has always tried not looking into. Today, as she let the breeze in and smiled, she was hoping Raman doesn't look into the very past. But finally he did! And finally he took responsibility for his mistakes! And now as they move towards their' home, Raman will also move ahead albeit after settling a few undone things of the past! Hopefully!

Updated on page 1 Doc!

Breath of fresh air is how ur words feel. So soul touching. I have been married for 10 yrs now and still some of your words remind me howto make things better. For that i thank you.

Thank you for the comments everyone! Studying beckons, I will return in the evening to reply to all your beautiful posts. 😊