<font size="3"> Make it to me</font>
He is sat on the rocks, gazing out towards the sea. His eyes fall upon his wife, she is near the shore and he can see her picking up sea shells. No doubt for Ruhi, he smiles at the thought of their daughter. His wife never ceases to amaze him. She finds pleasure in the smallest of things, and with her by his side he too is beginning to view his world in a different light.
He closes his eyes, and attunes himself to this moment. He feels at peace with himself, the light breeze across his face. The coolness of the sea air on his skin, the sound of the waves as they come clashing against the rocks, he has never felt so alive before. She touches his shoulder, but his eyes remain closed. She settles herself next to him, leaning into him for support. Instinctively, he tilts his head towards her and they remain there for a few minutes.
It is he who breaks the perfect silence. He lifts his head and looks deeps into her doe eyed gaze. He has wanted to have a conversation for so long. The conversation, the one where he would confront not only himself but her too. He needed to know whether apart from her being happy as the mother of their child, and as his friend, he could give her something deeper, something that would make her his forever more. He was a not a man who beat around the bushes, but he wanted to handle this right. He wanted this to be right for them both. As the sun bowed out for another day, and only remnants of light were left in the horizon, he felt it time to finally speak.
"Ishita what about us?" He asks her, she is about to say something, but then stays quiet, allowing him to continue. "I know we are parents and they are our focus of our being but, I just wonder, what about our future? I know that we are friends, that we can unburden our worries upon one another and depend on one another. But is it enough? Is this enough?"
She is stunned by his words. She thought that everything was going so well between them. Had her words not absolved his doubts and concerns...Perhaps she had misunderstood him, was it him who was unhappy. She turns to face him; he senses her reluctance to meet his gaze.
"Am I not enough for you Raman?" her greatest fears escaping her, but if he is being honest then she owes it to herself and to him to allow voice her truths today. He takes her hands in his, there's something in his touch which gives her enough strength to finally look up.
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"You are more than I had ever dared to hope for Ishita. I know the circumstances of our marriage are not the norm. But this marriage, you, have become my norm. My reality. I want to be honest with you, honest with myself. Things have changed for me, I have changed and you are the sole reason for that. I need you to understand how much you mean to me. This isn't about you as a mother or a daughter in law. It's about your place in my life. Yes you are my wife, my friend but I just can't go on without telling you..."He stops for a moment to find her looking up at him, for a moment he sees her eyes reflect his own. She looks angelic he thinks to himself, so masoom. If only he could reach out and take her in his arms.
He takes her silence as an indicator to continue. He takes a deep breathe and continues holding onto her tighter. His voice is calm and level but his core is quavering at the potential consequences of his next words. She squeezes his hands and he is somehow able to find the words...
"I'm asking you to give me a chance Ishita. A chance of showing you how deeply I feel and care for you. I want to be more than just the husband I am to you today. I'm asking for an opportunity. An opportunity to give to you all the happiness you deserve in life and more. I want to make you whole Ishita, the way you have started make me feel.." He catches her smile at these words and his heart misses a beat, not once but twice.
She is quiet, but his words echo long into the distance, obliterating even the sound of the waves as they come together."Kuch bolo Ishu" he whispers. She has a tear in her eye and a stray strand of hair has found its way onto her face. He can't help but to move the hair away from her eyes and tuck it behind her ear. He sees that she is hesitating to speak and is about to pull back. The enormity of what he has just said hitting him like a ton of bricks, but she pulls on the cuff of his sleeve.
"Mat Jao" she utters. He looks on at her in wonderment. His words had obviously not repelled her. He takes a deep breathe, and knows that this moment is forever imprinted within him and her now.
<p>" Raman, I don't know..." Her words trail off and she her grasp on him tighten.
"You don't know how you feel about me?" The anxiousness in his words betraying his pulsating heart.
" I respect you so much and need you in my life. You have always stood shoulder to shoulder with me as my husband. I meant when I said that with you by my side I feel safe, secure. I know you will always be there for me. You have given me so much already and I sleep at night content that God has blessed me with you..."
"But..." He asks.
She sighs " but I'm scared. Scared that what we have will change and I don't ever want to lose this Raman. What if I fall short somewhere? Phir kya hoga? Raman I wouldn't be able to go on knowing that I couldn't be what you wanted me to be".
It is as she whispers these words to him, that the penny finally drops. She feels for him the way he does her. She is frightened like him and both have such a heavy burden to bear on their hearts. They had found solace through Ruhi and this had let to this juncture. A juncture where their hearts yearned for more, their bodies longed for the touch of the other and deep within their core they felt incomplete without each other.
He places his hand over hers and begins stroking it. She finds it soothing and he realises the effect that his touch has upon her.
" Ishita, I know you are scared. I am too but these feelings, I feel like the more I try and contain them within a vacuum of 'normality' the more strength they gain. You know you are my strength and my compass. I was so utterly lost before you, lost in a world which has no real significance when it comes down to it. I was numb. Numb to the possibly of happiness, numb to the pain of my own but above all numb to my own needs in life. I thought I was truly worthless and that my worth was only that I could financially provide for my family. That's not the man I was, nor the man I truly am. It's you alone and only you that has found me once more. That will never change. You are my constant Ishita, you always will be". He tells her, with his eyes piercing through her very soul.
" So what happens now" she asks with a coy smile. One that totally disarms her husband once more.
"What happens now..." He says with a glint of mischief in his eyes as he moves in closer. A flurry of butterflies escaping within her, as she anticipates his next move. But he takes her hands and lifts her up.
" I think it's about time your husband courted you " he smiles at her and takes her by the hand. The two walk together, hand in hand. Oblivious to everything around them but each other. As time passes they look up to the sky to find a new moon watching over them.
CID
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Fan Fictions
9