The Risk to Blossom.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
- Risk, Anas Nin
Note - for the purpose of this story, I have supposed Simi does have an extra-marital affair and as per the timeline... it's almost a month from now, and her secret is out.
Chapter 1 - Silence & Chaos.
So she is avoiding me now.
How he had wished for this to happen so many times, before they got married and since, mostly since... and now that it was happening, instead of the gleeful joy he was expecting...he was hurt and that did nothing to help things. This was not what he had anticipated - from this moment or perhaps this day or maybe just his life.
He had never really made peace with the past, let go off the pain and just accepted things for the way they are now. His drive and determination which won him the CEO of the year award, earlier this year was a result of that very resentment. He would show Shagun - who she lost out on; he would make her realize what she gave up and he would crush Ashok, the man who ruined his life, his marriage and his family. That goal has become the sole purpose of his existence, since the day Raman Kumar Bhalla, started afresh in his life and left for Mumbai to make a name for himself by starting his own business.
The moment when he had come face to face with his wife' infidelity is forever etched in his mind as is the moment when she walked out on him and Ruhi, taking Aditya with her despite his numerous pleas, his consistent begging.
He never imagined history to repeat itself in his family again, not at least in his life time.
And yet here he was embarrassed and enraged at the gall of his sister. How dare she justify herself, how could she have become the very version of the woman he and his entire family resented.
Sure he had thought there were some problems between Simi and Kulraj, but never did he expect this to be the outcome of their issues. Would it have changed things, if he had intervened in time and talked to his sister or brother-in-law? What about their baby? God... How, how could Simi do this?
This is like life coming a full circle again. Ruhi was also a six month old baby when Shagun had walked out on him and now Pari, little Pari is also a six month old baby when a wedge has been driven in between her parents.
Couldn't Simi see that Kulraj was just working hard so that he can make sure a better future for his wife and kids? How is a man supposed to make money in today' cut throat competition environment without giving his 100%? He couldn't make time for her and the baby so that they could not want for anything. And this is the reward he gets, this... This humiliation and betrayal he deserves? How could his own sister do that and not die of shame was beyond him.
And all he can think of despite the mess that his day has been, the catastrophe that has struck his family(again!) is that his wife is ignoring him and that hurts! God what is wrong with him?
She was just staring out the window with a vacant look before he entered their bedroom, its only when his footsteps alerted her to his presence and the noise of the door jamming shut did she fall into a flurry of activity. First putting away random things, then making up her bed on the sofa and now digging through her suitcase for something to do.
He had expected taunts and humiliation came ready for a fight in his mind. He did not anticipate the cold shoulder and the silent withdrawal. And it confuses him more because he does not understand if she is doing this for his sake or hers? Is she purposely giving him space or does she mean to punish him with this silent treatment?
And not knowing the answer aggravates him.
He had behaved so badly with her and all these days... all this time she was trying to just protect his family' name, their reputation and make Simi see reason. To get her to give up on this affair and break all ties with her lover.
God knows he had tried it enough himself when Shagun admitted to her affair with Ashok, but sometimes there is no way to reason with someone; especially when they chose to go down a road, on their own accord. He had pleaded with Shagun, told her he would forgive her, put this behind them ...but she merely signed the divorce papers and walked out without a second look.
He cannot blame Ishita for attempting to change things. Unless and until you have walked a mile in someone else' shoes you cannot understand what ails them. And he has... it only makes him feel all the more sorrier and guiltier. How could he have doubted her? It appalls him now... to remember the words he had used when she had returned home at 3 in the night.
He can see clearly now; so many things make sense to him. The change in her behavior, the secrecy it was never about her. It was about Simi.
God, he has to make amends now, apologize to Ishita. The thought... it calms him. It makes him feel a bit lighter; he now understands what has bothered him from the moment he crossed the threshold of their room now.
And so he now finds himself face to face with his wife, who it is now clear was avoiding him because she is hurt, she is confused and she clearly has no idea of what to do. It's so plainly written all over her face; she has no idea of how to deal with these new developments in the privacy of their room, with them as each other' sole company.
Seeing as there is no easy way to do this, he thinks he might as well rip the band-aid off and be done with this conversation for good.
Hence in the first words spoken between them in the past eight hours, a far cry from what he had in mind as his end for the day, Raman Bhalla apologizes to his wife with these simple, quietly uttered words.
Edited by EkPaheli - 11 years ago
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