My First Crush - Companion Piece, Pg3 - Page 3

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putturani thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#21
Hi guys! I'm back with a companion piece to "My First Crush". It's from the
point of view of the guy. It's written in pretty much the same style. I hope
you'll like it. I know I should update CITD but this just struck me at 11:30
last night. 😆 Please read, review and enjoy. 😃

************************************************************
**************
**********

Sweaty hands. I hate sweaty hands. Especially when they belong to
me. It's all her fault. Isn't it always? Here I am trying to reconcile with
the fact that yes, school has started and yes, I'm going to be stuck here
for the next nine months or so. And then, I make the mistake of turning. I
notice her and I stare.

There's something different about her this term, I'm not sure what. It
could be something about her hair. Girls do very complicated things with
their hair. It's very pretty though. As I'm staring, she catches my eye. Oh
no, caught red-handed! I quickly turn away and she does too, bending
down to tie her shoelace, which is already tied. She's so crazy it's cute.

Cute. Ugh. I can't believe I used that word. It's the most disgusting
word ever, especially for a boy to say.

The Princi is still going on about something. Once she gets a chance to
talk she never stops, although no one is listening. I hear my name being
called. It's that girl from the other class. I'm not willing to take the effort
to remember her name now. She's flirting with me, I can tell, although I'm
not listening to what she's saying. Eventually, she goes off.

Now I'm free to focus my attention onto her. My friends would laugh
if they knew. But they're too busy flirting and throwing paper balls at the
girls.

I think the Gods all have a personal vendetta against me. That's why I'm
made to sit near her. Normally, I would be thrilled. She's a right old
smarty-pants and everyone loves to copy off her. But now I'm not. I'm
sure, that if I sit near her, someone or the other will find out about…I
can't bring myself to say it. I'm making it very obvious as it is. I've turned
back around fifteen times already, asking her for help in class and the
day's not even over yet! Some of her friends are giggling already. They're
a sharp bunch.

Class is over and I'm standing at the same spot in the corridor, chatting
and laughing with my friends. They're arguing about who is hotter –
Pamela Anderson or Angelina Jolie. I roll my eyes and notice her out of
the corner of my eye. She's laughing with her own group; her hair is
glinting in the afternoon sunlight. Wow. I think I've lost it! I can't stop
staring! It's the first day of school and it's already so bad. I bang my head
against the wall. It's going to be a long year…
Edited by putturani - 17 years ago
tangina r thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#22
wow!!
very well written!!
👏 👏 it gr8 👏 👏 👏
putturani thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#23

Originally posted by: sareeta

Fantastic read!! Simple theme, and so wonderfully
articulated in words!!

Makes one smile, giggle, blush, and taking them back in time, to their
first ever crush!!

Kudos to ya!! Looking forward to read more from you! 😊



Thanks so much Sareeta! Are u a KSian? I seem to remember u from
somewhere. Hmmm....I suppose u are a KSian. I'm so glad u liked it and I
hope I haven't disappointed you this time. Hehehe my frist crush is still a
source of embarassment to me ☺️ Especially since I haven't totally
gotten over him. 😆 ☺️

Originally posted by: -Krupa-

It was great..I remember my first crush, god..can't
belive i once liked him!..but now..my crush list is at about 10000000😊 [/
QUOTE]

hehe I've only got one real-life crush so far but I've had a couple of
celebrity crushes. 😆



Thank u 😃



Hahaha now is it on or off? 😆 lol



Thanks Preets! I hope I manage to live up to your expectations this time.
Thank u, it means a lot. Hahah I'm usually lazy too. I hardly ever update
and I blame my poor teachers for it. 😆

I love your work. I think you should post all your older short stories on
india-forums.in here. Then we can all read them. 😊

Morgoth thumbnail
21st Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 17 years ago
#24
This one is much better in terms of economy of words. I like the fact that you've tried to make the narration style a little different to showcase a different POV.

Keep working at it. You have amazing potential.
nitu07 thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#25
aww that was chooo cute!! I reakky loved both the parts 😳 😳 .....aww.........lol If u can then pls continue this story 😳
afreen_786 thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#26
awwwww..that was toooo sweet
u made me blush😳
pls continue this story
love ur style
Mini786 thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#27
Cute!
The only thing that came to my head was Cute, when i read the gilrs POV!
Really!
First crushes!
I cant tell you how much i liked this!
and then the guys POV?
Ahhh, wish all guys were so adorable!
Loved it...
First Crushes, ahhh their so naive but make u smile anyway...
Is their another companion, or short story coming from you?
Oh and Ysh is riht, your not off the hook of CiTd!
Okay i have to say this once more...Cute! Simply mindblowing shasha!
:D

-Mahak-
TiaMaria93 thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 17 years ago
#28

Originally posted by: devilangel

excellent story..i love it!
my first crush lasted for 5 minutes.. isnt that sad?!.. he started to talk and irealised that he was dumb..and there you go



aww hehehehe

shash..behna...that..was..haha the ultimate 'exposed' episode eva.. LOL..now we both have dirt on each other😉 let's get that PINK SPOTTED HANDKERCHIEF and clean that dirt na?!😆

absolutely amazing..and u already know my ratings!

xoxo
Tiff
putturani thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#29
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH stop going on about PSH!!! 😆 😆 😆

Thank u and be kind to me! Don't give all away!! 😆
~Sirius*Ysh~ thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 17 years ago
#30
awww... so sorry i wasnt arouynd to reply earlier... i so love that companion peice... its just too cute... theres nothing more i cn say 😛

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