Story: Wilted| Chapter 3 Forgotten Puzzles|Page 7 - Page 7

Originally posted by: -Dee-

Gypsy - still waiting for it! ;-)

surprising - Thanks :-)

Geet - I'll try to be a lot more regular. Glad you like Roshni and Rhea. Thanks for commenting :-)

Tanisha - Comment or I'll nag ;-)

Aliya - I'm eagerly looking forward to what you make of this story. and I expect your comments ;-)

Surya.Ravi - Thanks :-)

Originally posted by: LoveToLaugh

Finally! 😉

Reserved for now. I'll come back to this. But know this, I really enjoyed reading the update.

EDITED

So I am back! 😎

The poem was beautiful. It was so in tune with whatever we have learnt of Roshni so far. Roshni's thoughts were so tangible. And like Ameres said, the last line rings so true. That makes Roshni this very, very real character.

(On another note, do you write poems in general? Because if you do, hi-5! 😉)

Thank you, Tanisha! I don't write poems - can't make a head and tail of rhyming words and stanzas. :P

I really liked the first segment between Ved and Rhea. They were like SO married-couple-to-be! Especially how Ved was positively apprehensive that Rhea would snap at him when he cautiously asked her about Roshni. 🤣The whole vibe of the scene, it made for such an enjoyable read.

Okay, so I didn't get the Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna and Tere Sang reference because I haven't seen either of the movies. But the conversation was so typical of something two cousins would share. I enjoyed it very much.

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna is about marital love affair where as Tere Sang is about kids falling in "love", doing "it" and getting pregnant and eloping. I hope you get the references now. Trust me to come up with movies, I haven't watched but know all about them ;)

Waise, 'wannabe' is not a word I would probably associate with Roshni. Confused and meddled, yes. Rebellious, absolutely. But she is not a wannabe. Because that is who she is. Or perhaps who she has become as a person. And going by the conversation, Roshni actually seems the mature one of the two. But yeah, Rhea probably wouldn't pick up a fight because of a remote. 😆

Roshni being a 'wannabe' is a whole different issue which Roshni hasn't explored yet. I was trying to get each scene from the perspective of one character and not the author. Like in scene one, you know what Ved is feeling but not what Rhea is thinking. But I think I have to work on that. Thanks for being so besotted about Roshni, waise :D

I loved the last segment the best. No matter what, kids really make her smile. That is something so endearing about her. Kids toh are always adorable! (That paragraph about students and weekly tests, I could TOTALLY relate to that!)

Thanks :) I've never given weekly tests in my life. Though, I've had my moments in student life where I was so fed up of teachers conducting tests, the marks of which would count, that I couldn't bring myself to study!

I loved how she wanted to care but just could not bring herself to it. It is sad that she has come to this place where she needs to prove something to the people she loves. And she cannot bring herself to care about them even when she wants to. But it also makes her journey intriguing.

In the end, I was with Roshni when she decided to talk (to Rhea?), when she resolved probably to do something about her state of affairs. Looking forward to the next update.

And expecting a longer update next time!

That question of yours will be answered in the next update. Thanks for commenting without nagging and writing in detail what you think. It helps a lot as a writer. And to speak truly, I don't have MS-Word on my laptop so I have no idea as to the length of the updates. I think they are long enough but when I finally do update, I find they are okay! :P Will update next week! :)

Originally posted by: gypsy

Look who's here... 😆😆

Look who's here!!!!!!

So I have just finished with the prologue and I don't know..there are so many things going on in my mind right now. Let me say the title is very unique and because I haven't read the entire thing I don't know in what way the title is associated with the story for now..But I have a slight idea that it's directed towards the girl.

You haven't mentioned a LOT in the prologue but the small instances tells a lot about her. She's shy, insecure, feels lonely from inside and knows too but she's not capable of helping herself. She wants to break this, to come out of this mold but the change is not happening. And I think there's a lot more to go.

The Diwali instance, how true is that. Kids are always more excited for festivals especially Diwali and she wasn't any different. But just one line changed her mood. She wanted to help but her brother didn't let her.

This one line "You know aren't capable of handling responsibilities."

Thank you! you made me notice the typo error :P

stood out for me. Instead of saying this, if he had just told her to switch on the light without pointing out her in-capabilities, things would have turned out to be different. Riya, I believe must be around her age because it's the reason she mentioned it. No kid likes being compared with others and here, her brother not only told her how irresponsible she's but this one statement also compared her with Riya.. I think a major reason for her to be like this started at home. There's no mention of her parents so I am only going by her brother's action.

Next we see her at a birthday party. Here she's trying to mix up with others but she's not able too. And this personality of hers is taken in a negative ways by others. They don't know the real her and this makes her the target. Even though she's surrounded by many, she's alone. She trying to smile but inside she's not. She's trying to project something she's not and her this trait projects an entirely different image of hers in the mind of others.

At present, she's a frustrated soul. She's tired of constant criticism and her lack of confidence. There's a huge gap between the things she wants to do and the things that are happening around her. I think she believes she has no control. And the reason for the bad things that are happening to her is she herself.

The girl in your story is very much close to reality. Not every girl can be blunt and oozing confidence. We do come across girls like her who takes time in opening up, who are a bit insecure about themselves. But that doesn't make them inferior or lesser than others. We need to understand them which wasn't in case of her.

Whoa!! This is like the longest comment I have posted on IF. So a BIG pat on my back. Will be back with my views on next Chapter soonish... :D

Cheers!!!

P.S- I hope I haven't bored you. In case I have...mwahaaa...😆😛

P.S- I am not very good with commenting, Still tried my best to put my point across. 😳

Originally posted by: -Dee-