Story: Wilted| Chapter 3 Forgotten Puzzles|Page 7 - Page 6

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-Dee- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#51
Thank You everybody for your wonderful comments. There is a short poem on the previous page which is a direct thought process of Roshni. Sometimes

Also, I'll try to be a lot more regular, now that I'm done with my exams and results are out and vacation is over. I'm starting college probably in July - so might be running around the length of the country for admissions.

Also, please feel free to tell me anywhere you don't like the story and I'll try to respond to comments. But please know, I read every comment and appreciate your taking time to writing them. And please people who read. Do comment. :-)

Also, clarifications.
R didi - In school, children distribute chocolates on their birthdays to teachers all over the school - gives them a chance to roam around and bunk also ;-) That's the chocolate Roshni was eating. :-)

I'll post the next chapter in a few minutes. It doesn't take the story anywhere but I hope it does prepare the ground for taking it somewhere.


-Dee- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#52
CHAPTER THREE : FORGOTTEN PUZZLES



'Foolish people,' He heard his girlfriend slash fiancee-to-be curse with few other inappropriate words as she disconnected the call she had been engaged in for the last few minutes.

Ved and Rhea were having lunch at a cafe near his firm, two days before their engagement. 'What happened, Rhe?' he asked. 'Roshni is not coming for the function,' she picked up her fork and attacked the noodles almost as if venting her frustration on the poor strings.

'Oh…okay. Is she a school friend? I don't think I remember,' Ved asked. He was a little unsure, knowing Rhe was going to blast him for not paying attention. She, however, surprised him. 'You could say that. But she actually is a cousin. You know, Sunita aunty?' she paused in her quest for breaking a manchurian coin. He nodded. 'Rosh is her daughter,' Rhea continued while he stuffed his mouth with a spoonful.

'Oh..may be I missed her in the hordes of people wooing me with spring rolls and barfis,' he laughed and shuddered at the same time, remembering how the ladies at Rhea's place had been there to attend on him when he had visited her house officially for the first time.

'Oh…believe me..if Roshni would try to woo you, you'd never forget her - not that she'd do that ever…Even then..' Rhea trailed off. It made Ved curious about this girl. 'So why can't this cousin not come?' he asked. 'She didn't get an off at school,' Rhea said and Ved gestured the waiter for the check. 'What? you've been cursing for a school girl?' He was baffled at Rhe's behaviour. Rhea was one of those people who gelled really well with children really well but she didn't really crave for their company. 'School teacher. Although why she's doing it - nobody understands including herself. It is like she has to prove something by struggling for every penny and her living,' Rhea told him. The waiter came with their check. He paid it and Rhe swung her red bag on her shoulders. It had been a gift from him and he liked it that she used it. Then, hand in hand the couple walked out of the cafe into the balmy afternoon.

~~~~~~

'I am not talking to her,' A seventeen year old Rhea said. She got up from her bed and went to her study table. 'What? She caught you with Anish again?' An exasperated Roshni asked her. Rhea slumped down on her chair and opened a book. Roshni understood her urge to avoid. 'Rhe,' Roshni almost sighed Rhea's name from the bed where she had been sitting. ' I know, Rosh. I'm fifteen. If I don't do it now, I'll do it later. Then, they'll make it a Kabhi Alvida Naa Hona case. I don't understand what their problem is!' Rhea almost shouted in her own defence. 'Their problem is that they don't want a Tere sang case either,' Roshni retorted in Rhea's own lingo. 'So it ain't like I'm you-know doing it with him. I like him and he says he loves me. We are just having our own fun like every one else. Yeah, I know except you.' Rhea slammed shut the book. Roshni got up from the bed and went up to the steel rack which stacked many novels. Roshni took out a Harlequin romance from the stack and started flipping the pages.

'There never will be the perfect fun, Rhe. I bet, ten-fifteen years down the line, you won't understand yourself what this fun was that you indulged yourself into,' Roshni said almost in daze. She didn't even lift up her head to look at Rhea.

'By ten years down the line, you mean when I am sitting on the dais and getting married,' Rhea retorted forcing Roshni to chuckle and look at her. 'No, you fool,' she answered, 'Going by your present track, you might land up in an exclusive rehab for being too rebellious in teenage.' 'As if you might not?' her cousin retorted, 'what was it the other day? Not talking to anyone because of a darned remote. Who does that? YOU. Stop picking up fights for nothing.' 'Whatever!' Roshni almost screamed at being reminded of the disastrous breakfast the previous week.

Roshni had always been sheltered where as Rhea was more out spoken. Rhea was mature and understanding in a way that some teenagers are. She was rebellious but she knew where to rebel. She understood the meaning of trivial and insignificance. Roshni, on the other hand was a 'wannabe.' Sometimes, she didn't speak and sometimes she spoke without understanding rhyme or reason.

~~~~~

'Okay, put your pencils down now and I really hope you haven't copied from your partners - even if it is unintentional or a reflex action to peek into others papers,' Roshni announced to the eighth standard she was in to invigilate.

She heard chuckles, saw them smirk and smirked herself. To her it seemed almost funny - trying to be stern and teacher-y to these kids who were the age of her cousins at home.

She collected the answer scripts and checked them - calling the students to be quiet in between. She told some to stop being restless in the lingo only teachers know. She did all that and announced the students to leave for the short break.

Weekly tests were all the same. One could see it on the face of the students. With the little ones, they couldn't care more. Their parents were more worried about those tests than they were. The ones who were 'grown up' - they could be divided into many categories. Some who cared. Some wanted to care but couldn't bring themselves to. Some couldn't care more. When she'd been in school and college, she had always wondered how teachers knew. Now, she had her answer.

Tomorrow was Rhea's engagement. As much as she had wanted to go, she hadn't really made any efforts for really getting an off. She knew she wouldn't fit in the groups of dancing cousins. She had been away too long and out of contact longer. She wanted to care - did care but couldn't care anymore!

Roshni submitted the papers in the administrative office - to be given to the respective teacher. She collected the standard three english papers - meant for correction and went towards the staff room. And on her way, Roshni decided, she had to talk tonight!



gypsy thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#53
Me first... Me first...Yipeee

You still haven't answered my question. Your reply= My Comment sooo... 😉

Anyways let me finish writing the next Chapter of Savage and I'll get back to Wilted in max. 1-2 days. I hope you are not thinking of updating another chapter in the meantime. And even if you are- Stop right there..Lol :P
Edited by gypsy - 12 years ago
gypsy thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#54

Originally posted by: -Dee-


Look who is here! I hope you catch up soon and I'm eagerly looking forward to your comments. In case you forget, remember that Dee is here to nag until you do. ;-)



Why-oh- Why? 😲
Why is this line "Look who's here" directed towards me and only me. 😕 😆
LoveToLaugh thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#55
Finally! 😉
Reserved for now. I'll come back to this. But know this, I really enjoyed reading the update.

EDITED

So I am back! 😎

The poem was beautiful. It was so in tune with whatever we have learnt of Roshni so far. Roshni's thoughts were so tangible. And like Ameres said, the last line rings so true. That makes Roshni this very, very real character.
(On another note, do you write poems in general? Because if you do, hi-5! 😉)

I really liked the first segment between Ved and Rhea. They were like SO married-couple-to-be! Especially how Ved was positively apprehensive that Rhea would snap at him when he cautiously asked her about Roshni. 🤣The whole vibe of the scene, it made for such an enjoyable read.

Okay, so I didn't get the Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna and Tere Sang reference because I haven't seen either of the movies. But the conversation was so typical of something two cousins would share. I enjoyed it very much.

Waise, 'wannabe' is not a word I would probably associate with Roshni. Confused and meddled, yes. Rebellious, absolutely. But she is not a wannabe. Because that is who she is. Or perhaps who she has become as a person. And going by the conversation, Roshni actually seems the mature one of the two. But yeah, Rhea probably wouldn't pick up a fight because of a remote. 😆

I loved the last segment the best. No matter what, kids really make her smile. That is something so endearing about her. Kids toh are always adorable! (That paragraph about students and weekly tests, I could TOTALLY relate to that!)

I loved how she wanted to care but just could not bring herself to it. It is sad that she has come to this place where she needs to prove something to the people she loves. And she cannot bring herself to care about them even when she wants to. But it also makes her journey intriguing.

In the end, I was with Roshni when she decided to talk (to Rhea?), when she resolved probably to do something about her state of affairs. Looking forward to the next update.

And expecting a longer update next time!


Edited by LoveToLaugh - 12 years ago
sweetdesire thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#56
Hey Dee
Finally u r back
love the update
Love Roshni and Reha's equation
waana read more
so do continue soon
Thanks for the PM
Take care

Geet

Edited by sweetdesire - 12 years ago
-Aliya- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#57
I've read the first chapter so far and it sounds promising. Different. It sounds like a story that many may be able to relate to. I'll read the next chapters soon

keep it up Dee!
Surya.Ravi thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#58
very well written..😊
-Dee- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#59
Gypsy - still waiting for it! ;-)

surprising - Thanks :-)


Geet - I'll try to be a lot more regular. Glad you like Roshni and Rhea. Thanks for commenting :-)

Tanisha - Comment or I'll nag ;-)


Aliya - I'm eagerly looking forward to what you make of this story. and I expect your comments ;-)

Surya.Ravi - Thanks :-)

ChaiBiskoot thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#60
u've updated finally :D

will read it soon!

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