|My Archive of Emotions| ~ K! . . - Page 5

Edited:

hey kanky😃...what do i say about your writing dear....you are a wonderfull writer sweety👏....you potrayed the emotions so well....awesome...ok i am falling short of words now...i guess i am not so capable to comment on your writing😃......but i really loved this one...

Amazing OS Kanky. Thanks for the pm.

One Shot: Set Me Free

She shoved the novel right into the cage. Her throat burned with her heart thudding in the centre of it. It seemed like nothing could fix the pain and the invisible wound could never be healed. She looked about in the class and contemplated over the changes she could see around. Somewhere down the line, she acknowledged the importance of that particular change which needs to go on throughout the course of one's life. However, little was she prepared for the change!

She wondered if she had actually grown fond of the pain and refused to feel anything beyond that. How that hole pierced through her chest was the most valuable thing of her life, the most ethereal and loved part of herself, her soul. How she'd grown immune to every other pain but that one hole that circumstances had punched across her. How she'd hurt herself anyway, just to feel the pain, she once did. The hole was being fixed; it was being filled with happiness. Did she want that?

The lecture ended, she'd grasped everything well and decided she would prepare notes over eating in the recess. Her friends wore confused expressions; none realized that she was firm with her indigenous self for the day. Their smiles that they passed to her did make her plaster one herself but the curve of her lips refused to meet her eyes. Their laughter like regular - refused to flatter her and she rejoiced in silence – the pain was coming back to her.

She laughed to herself, reflecting on how she spent the previous day. She was laughing, freaking around like any other teenager, not wanting to work for a change and what-not. Everything she once wished to do. As confusing as her thought process may seem, she indeed wanted the change, and prevented it too. Life was complicated, compared to what she'd led till then. Compared to the anguish that had her burning for quite a while, was easier to strive with than the flattering smiles and festivities that now lit the atmosphere up!

Forcing her feet out of the campus, she feared she was going closer to the pain – she was going home. But did she not want it? This pain was different. This was another feeling of discontentment, altogether. A different world she lived in, a different outburst she regretted to have presented to people at least twice day. A different pain it was, altogether.

How she would not notice what life never gave her is history, for now the only thing she noticed in that huge house was emptiness. She noticed just about everything she never had, she never wanted but now missed. She was sick and tired of the hysterics the walls of her hollow and dark room played at her. She was weak enough to give up; if at all fate challenged her again. It wasn't somebody she loved she was being asked to leave, she was being asked to chuck a part of herself out and move on.

Not that she ever believed moving on was difficult, it was easy to forgive and to forget for her all along, however, she never really knew that she would be asked to move on, leaving something very precious that had been constantly developing on the inside of her and go – the pain meant something to her. It was a token of remembrance, of the change.

The shell she was in periodically tried to push her out, tried to show her how badly she wanted to get rid of the pain. Nonetheless, she always listened to the sinister her, who led her the wrong way. She chose pain. Hollow preaching helped, though provided, she could console herself of at least knowing the value of the opportunity life had given her, if not accepting that. Repelling who she was did not help any lesser; it added into her benevolent self's kitty. Unknowingly, she had gotten one step close to the life she yearned to live – needless to mention, clinging onto her pain-preference.

Outside the doctor's clinic, in the long and abandoned dark room – she questioned herself if she would ever be set free. Rather, questioned a spirit, a soul she had nearly stopped believing in. She questioned a non-existing entity if He would ever spare her. If she would ever figure out that who'd kiss victory at last – evil or benevolence! She was clueless and the night, the crescent and the breeze that lifted her brown and rough hair strands high above were not in her favor, certainly. That night, everything chose to keep mum.

She was collecting the shattered and crushed things that roomed inside her with great enthusiasm, as if welcoming them to deepen the then filled, now being opened hole in her chest. Was the benevolent she at all going to back out? She made her lid her swollen eyes, which did hurt but helped her seep in sheer strength – something she lacked. Confused between two of the million paths she could choose from, she decided to role her dilemma to a halt.

Days passed, benevolent she was taking over. She cried all night and screamed in pain but the morning brought her new hope. It was like she was being tried at, helping her with her self-confidence, with the long lost optimism. She had started to dream of a world of brightness and hoping for the hole to vanish. Neither did she know how, nor did she try to seek any answer. She was forgetting the pain.

Little did she know, it wasn't going to go that easily! The fear wasn't going to stop acting upon her, the shining sun wasn't going to overcome the darkened her that easily and so wasn't the newly earned self-confidence. The battle between what was right for her and wasn't did not let her with millionth of a second to spare for people, people she loved – she was loved by. How could she be so self-centered?

She waved one last time at her loved ones; some were absent but had reserved a permanent spot in her memory. The new world was welcoming her with opened arms. She had a chance to cut through her inner conflicts and escape, an atmospheric change was all she needed. There was something new she now attained, something she actually felt the need of – a clear vision. The world she'd live in would be the same always, no atmosphere could take away her fear, the agony, the struggle – she was a fighter, she had been and was going to battle, survive. And as for freedom, she would have been wrong if she thought she could escape.

She walked a new way, with similar thoughts in mind. She realized that it was still one on one – everything disturbing had a tinge of hope, big thing, erm? Was there a point of going a new way after all? Was this self-satisfaction long to stay? Was she ever going to be set free? Ever!

She did not know.

OMG! It was totally awesomelicious! I love the way you write! I could actually feel all the emotions of the character!! Superb job!! Thanks for the PM!👏

hey kanky.......

Kanky, you always amaze me and leave me speechless. The emotions the main character were just so perfectly well-said. I really can't say much though. I find myself becoming farther and farther away from I-F and writing. Wow, I haven't even opened my Letters from Mayank in ages. Ahh, well that's just me and my procrastination. =D

REs!!