Hey people! Am Fareha. Not really that active member on this forum.
This is the first I am writing an OS or anything for that matter, so apologies if it sucks.
Please do tell me what you think.
The song lyrics I used, which is what actually inspired me to write because it fits Ankhi so well at the moment, is translation of an Arabic song by Nancy Ajram - Enta eih (what are you).
Here's the link if interested.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4ICDHjGImA
Ankhi OS: What Are You?
Paakhi was devastated. She was in shock. All that she knew about her marriage had been a mirage. All the confidence she had had in her husband was completely shredded to pieces. The people she had considered as her new family turned out to be foes, most of all her husband. The husband she had trusted the most. The one person who never even let out a slight inkling of what he had been planning all the while, that he had wanted her out of his life. Was the man she knew uptill now just a mirage, didn't he exist? Who was he? What is he?
What are you?
Is it not enough that you hurt me?
Shame on you
What are you?
Paakhi stood there on the terrace listening to his girlfriend making it seem as if she (Paakhi) had been the reason of all that had come to happen. Declaring how much Anshuman and Tanya loved each other. Anshuman had been quite not disputing any saying of Tanya. Controlling her shaking voice, and her tears, though one treacherous tear had escaped her eyes, Paakhi asked him if he loved Tanya. Shattered was what she felt at the answer, all over again. She had moved from there to leave him and his false world with the false relations in it. She hadn't said a word more, couldn't get herself to say another word to the double-faced people in front of her. They simply were not worthy of her. Yes, she still loved him, couldn't stop loving him, but he has lost all the trust and respect she had had for him. Yet she had stayed on in his house.
Why, my love, don't my tears mean anything to you?
And why do I accept that you hurt me when my soul is in you
Why am I accepting this torment in your hands?
Paakhi had stayed back for love. Not the love she had for Anshuman, but the love she had for Ayaan, the one person she realized that had been true in his feelings for her. Also, for the love Ayaan has for her. When he had wanted her to go, he had no qualms about saying it out loud. When Ayaan had accepted her as a mother, he did so wholeheartedly. He had made her realize, that for a woman being a mother is much more than being a wife. She had been ready to leave when she was just a wife, she had found it in her to leave. Though now as her mother, she couldn't find it in herself to abandon her child, despite not really being a wife. If that will cause her, she will bear it for her child. Paakhi won't ever let her child's trust in her break. Not when she has found firsthand, what a torment it is when a loved one breaks your trust.
If this is love, love causes me so much misery
And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again
And if it's my destiny to live in torment
I'll live in torment
Anshuman had later tried to give clarifications, telling her he loved Tanya. For months they had a relationship before the media fiasco had happened that led to his coming to Chittorgarh. Paakhi had let him say all he had to say, without interrupting him once. Then she questioned him about the years she had spent waiting for answer, just an answer from him, not him. She had been ready to let him go then, if he had just said a no, despite believing herself to be his wife. He had given her a positive answer, took her away from her home with all rituals, in front of all community. He had made it seem he was okay with the marriage, was happy with the care and love she had for him and his family, encouraged her to pass the hurdles of challenges, or wait... the levels of the game "the quest of ousting Paakhi". Did it ever really mattered?
Now what about her self-respect? Her confidence in institute of marriage? Her image, as he is so dearly concerned with image, if she is to return? More than all this, what about the love and trust that a child had just formed in a happy family? What will happen when that will be lost?
Have you no shame?
Have you no shame, deceiving me with the love I have for you
Isn't it a shame?
The passion and the years and longing that I am living for you?
Was it lost completely?
Or has it been a game?
Was the tenderness and my heart and faith in you all wasted?
It had ended with Paakhi giving Anshuman a choice. Let her take Ayaan with her, and he gets to visit him when he wants, she wont keep a son from his father. When Anshuman had protested, she had calmly replied "just like if he was in boarding school, as your heartfelt desire".
If he won't let her take her son, she won't leave, regardless of anyone or anything else.
And with that she turned and left to Ayaan's room, to get solace from grief and torment of a heart broken and trust lost, but she will bear it all for her Ayaan.
If this is love, then love is so much misery
And if I am to blame, I cannot say "never again"
And if it's my destiny to live in torment
I'll live in torment
Book Talk
Cricket
