Why Is Toshu Wrong Here? - Page 2

Mujhe kabhi bhi toshu mein sincere improvement nahin laga because toshu ne chaha ki anupama vanraj ko forgive kare aur divorce  na de  . Toshu ne anupama ko paagal kahe jaane ko justify kiya yeh to paapa ka, reaction tha 

Aur toshu  yeh to shah family ko neecha dikha raha paise ki wajah se to mujhe to koi improvement nahin dikh  raha hai toshu mein

Originally posted by: Anjalika01

When it comes to Toshu, my feelings are quite mixed because there have been so many ups and downs/inconsistencies in his characterisation...

In the early days of the show (maybe around 11 months ago) when I first started watching, I hated him. After the big revelation at the resort, his support for Anu and the changes in his behaviour from that point on (after realising the true face of his father) made me slowly stop disliking his character so much, which is what I think the CVs wanted us all to feel then.

In recent episodes, however, along with Rakhi Dave, the CVs seem to be trying to make even Toshu more negative again.

And their chosen method for that task has been making them both push for Toshu and Kinjal to move out of the Shah family's house, and into an apartment of their own.

But my question is: what is so bad about that?

The argument many desis (especially those of older generations) would make- that it is against our culture/traditions for a son and DIL to move out like this- is absolutely hilarious if applied to this situation. 

The Shahs are a family where a middle aged couple with adult children have not only got divorced against the wishes of the elders, but the man in question (Vanraj) has has gone and married another woman who is closer to his SONS' ages than his own, and is currently living under one roof with his new wife and ex wife.

The fact that after all this, the Shahs like to think some perfect, sanskari Indian joint family is beyond absurd.

If Baa-Bapuji were really as moralistic/sanskari as they like to think, they would have thrown out Vanraj for his affair a long time ago, and given him no share in the property.

If Vanraj was even a little sanskari, he wouldn't have had the affair in the first place, and assuming that he did, he would have at least gone and taken a separate house with Kavya after marriage instead of bringing her here (knowing how much Baa and his sons hate her), and simultaneously playing "best friends" with his ex wife under the same roof. 

Finally, even she who is presented as the ultimate queen of morals, values and Indian culture- Anupama doesn't actually seem to be as mahaan or sanskari as the CVs desperately try to convince us she is. 

Because let's face it- no deeply traditional, sanskari woman obsessed with respecting elders no matter what (which is what CVs like to show Anu as nowadays) would go and file for divorce despite her mother in law literally BEGGING her not to, and her husband himself being so reluctant.

And assuming Anu is actually un-sanskari enough to totally ignore her husband and MIL's wishes along with what society will say, etc. and get divorced anyway (which she is- because she did)  if she was at least as mahaan/selfless as they like to portray her as, why is she still hanging around in Shah family's  house?

Like surely Anu can see how her presence is causing so many issues in VanYa's marriage, and contributing to causing so many arguments in the house in general?

Not to mention all the social shame/indignity caused to her (supposedly?) precious Baa-Bapuji-bacche due to this arrangement. 

For taking her shares in the house and factory? Isn't that not only exceptionally shameless/pathetic, but also actually very selfish when you think about it?

When the elders of Toshu's family are like this, and the other two children (Samar and Pankhi) are divided in blindly supporting every action/decision of one parent each- what is wrong if Toshu doesn't want to carry on living in the chaotic, dysfunctional home they have created? Why is it such a travesty if he brings up Anupama and Vanraj's divorce, and questions the majorly distorted idea of "sanskaar" in which their ridiculous arrangement (and newfound "dosti") ok, but him and Kinjal moving out is not?

Because honestly, in this current track, Toshu is looking like the sanest and most level headed person in this entire Shah family by far. Who could raise a healthy, happy family (or preserve a healthy, happy marriage) in this mess? 

Does anyone here actually disagree with his point of view?

Personally, I can't think of one single reason to do so.

Thank you so much for posting this, and I agree with every word you've written down here. I am saying the same thing, there is nothing wrong if Paritosh wants to move out of that chaotic household which close to becoming a hell as rightly described by Rakhi Dave. I don't why Kinjal wants to stick around in a place like that when it's clearly not healthy for her marriage unless ofcourse she doesn't really care but I am being told that Paritosh and Rakhi are just plain evil and selfish for wanting this, like how exactly? And is Kinjal freaking blind? She knows her mother is right in every sense about the environment she lives in, there is nothing healthy or good about living under a roof like and to top it all she is literally forcing Paritosh to do the same and subjecting him to that sort of mental torture. It's not like she is being asked to cutt off ties with her in laws, just being asked to move out of the house, tomorrow she will have kids is that the kind of environment she wants to raise them in?? 

Originally posted by: Anjalika01

But my question is: what is so bad about that?

When the elders of Toshu's family are like this, and the other two children (Samar and Pankhi) are divided in blindly supporting every action/decision of one parent each- what is wrong if Toshu doesn't want to carry on living in the chaotic, dysfunctional home they have created? Why is it such a travesty if he brings up Anupama and Vanraj's divorce, and questions the majorly distorted idea of "sanskaar" in which their ridiculous arrangement (and newfound "dosti") ok, but him and Kinjal moving out is not?

Because honestly, in this current track, Toshu is looking like the sanest and most level headed person in this entire Shah family by far. Who could raise a healthy, happy family (or preserve a healthy, happy marriage) in this mess? 

Does anyone here actually disagree with his point of view?

Personally, I can't think of one single reason to do so.

My guess on why Toshu's choice appears bad ( I could be wrong) - He seems to be acting on Rakhi's cues. She is brainwashing him. That is how the story has been painted to the viewers, i.e Rakhi scheming against Shah household. 

A married couple (where they both are the sole decision makers) deciding to move out from a joint family amicably may not be looked down up that much. If Toshu & Kinjal had made this choice and informed Shah family, it would not be that bad I guess. I say this because of one of Anu's statements earlier along those lines - "it is better to remain close while living in different houses than stay in same house and develop animosity".  Agreed they may all feel bad initially, but will get over it soon. 

The problem I see that Toshu & Kinjal are not on the same page, not only about this, but for everything else too. Typically, major decisions like this one, both partners must agree & take the decision jointly. If not, one of them will have compromise. I guess that is the reason Kinjal is irriated with her mom for seeding this thought in Toshu's head. 

Reg. Anupama living in the same house, I cringe everytime I think of this. I wish the story was not written this way. It is very bizzare to say the least 🤢 

Before divorce, her hubby hated her, MIL wasn't happy with her..... It took a divorce to get their love & affection!  How weird is that? Overall, her staying under the same roof as one big happy family is a mess thats needs to be cleaned up!! 😕

Toshu's decision is not wrong. But the way he put accross his decision is wrong. These are my views about his decision-

1) If he was actually not happy with the situation in the house and he really wanted to live seperately, why didn't he even for once discuss it with Kinjal and only got inyo action after Rakhi offered the pent house to live? If he really was not happy he should have decided to shift irrespective of penthouse being offered.

2) No one from the Shah family has tried to influence Kinjal or Toshu's decision. They have left the decision on them. It's because of Kinjal that they are not able to move to pent house then on what basis he is giving attitude to his family members?

3) Today he told Kinjal, that if in 2 days she doesn't decide to move to penthouse, he will alone move there, so is it just his greed to live in penthouse? 

4) According to me taking pent house from In laws is not wrong. But suppose after 2 days also, kinjal is adamant that she doesn't want to move out so when Toshu will tell Rakhi that he is alone moving to penthouse, will Rakhi actually allow him? According to me no, because, he is getting pent house because he is Kinjal's husband not because he deserves it. I can confidently say that in case there are some issues between toshu and rakhi in office, she won't tale a minute to tell him ki usko job bhi usne di and rehne ko ghar bhi usne diya warna woh sab kuch deserve nahi karta. Taking flat from such MIL is an issue, who can at any moment degrade you. If it was someone else other than Rakhi, who is more understanding and less control freak, than it is a wise decision to take the pent house and not spend on rent.

5) Toshu is not trying to understand Kinjal's reason why she doesn't wanna move out, usne apna reason sabko bata diya. Bit shouldn't he try to understand why Kinjal doesn't want to move out? Probably Kinjal has always stayed alone may be bcoz rakhi and pramod were always busy with work, her grandparents didn't stay with them, she doesn't have any sibling. This is the first time she is experiencing having family, though a dysfunctional, but everyone does give her all the love, respect, freedom and value her opinions there.

6) Atleast Kinjal's decision is her own, no one has tried to influence it from the Shah's, neither tried to brainwash her. But that's not the case with Toshu, he is totally influenced by Rakhi and took and on top of it the greed to stay in a pent house.

7) The reason for them not moving out yet is nothing to do with sanskaar or anything, its just because kinjal and toshu are not able to come to conclusion. And everyone in family have accepted that its better to stay away and be connected rather than stay together and be unhappy. So no one from Shah's are also giving them any sanskaar ka gyaan. The issue is Toshu's approach rather than her decision. 

8) He is also trying to control Kinjal the way Vanraj did. Rakhi should have an issue with that more rather than trying to destroy the Shah's, because none of them are stopping kinjal to move out. Also even if Rakhi destroys Shah's does she really think Kinjal will leave them in such situation and go stay happily seperately. I don't think so. Atleast in Toshu and Kinjal's seperation case, Shah's are behaving sensibly and maturely. Its Rakhi who behaving like a control freak and maniac by trying to destroy Shah's which I don't know how will it help Kinjal to change her decision, infact it has higher chances of her being more firm on staying back, knowing kinjal can never become selfish like Toshu.

Every time writers run out of ideas, they make Rakhi, Toshu and Pakhi negative. This has been going on forever. Character arc, consistency and all doesn't matter to these people. I have given up hope that they will show anything sensible in this show anymore.

Originally posted by: janecastle

Every time writers run out of ideas, they make Rakhi, Toshu and Pakhi negative. This has been going on forever. Character arc, consistency and all doesn't matter to these people. I have given up hope that they will show anything sensible in this show anymore.

Hehehe soo true. Every time writers run out of ideas, they make rakhi, Pakhi , toshu extreme negative 😆there is no consistency for these 3 characters.

What I find worst is any external force can manipulate men of this show. Rakhi can manipulate toshu , Kavya can manipulate vanraj 😆😆

If Toshu and vanraj had ability to understand the things , no external force can create havoc in their household. 

Originally posted by: neo7

Toshu's decision is not wrong. But the way he put accross his decision is wrong. These are my views about his decision-

1) If he was actually not happy with the situation in the house and he really wanted to live seperately, why didn't he even for once discuss it with Kinjal and only got inyo action after Rakhi offered the pent house to live? If he really was not happy he should have decided to shift irrespective of penthouse being offered.

2) No one from the Shah family has tried to influence Kinjal or Toshu's decision. They have left the decision on them. It's because of Kinjal that they are not able to move to pent house then on what basis he is giving attitude to his family members?

3) Today he told Kinjal, that if in 2 days she doesn't decide to move to penthouse, he will alone move there, so is it just his greed to live in penthouse? 

4) According to me taking pent house from In laws is not wrong. But suppose after 2 days also, kinjal is adamant that she doesn't want to move out so when Toshu will tell Rakhi that he is alone moving to penthouse, will Rakhi actually allow him? According to me no, because, he is getting pent house because he is Kinjal's husband not because he deserves it. I can confidently say that in case there are some issues between toshu and rakhi in office, she won't tale a minute to tell him ki usko job bhi usne di and rehne ko ghar bhi usne diya warna woh sab kuch deserve nahi karta. Taking flat from such MIL is an issue, who can at any moment degrade you. If it was someone else other than Rakhi, who is more understanding and less control freak, than it is a wise decision to take the pent house and not spend on rent.

5) Toshu is not trying to understand Kinjal's reason why she doesn't wanna move out, usne apna reason sabko bata diya. Bit shouldn't he try to understand why Kinjal doesn't want to move out? Probably Kinjal has always stayed alone may be bcoz rakhi and pramod were always busy with work, her grandparents didn't stay with them, she doesn't have any sibling. This is the first time she is experiencing having family, though a dysfunctional, but everyone does give her all the love, respect, freedom and value her opinions there.

6) Atleast Kinjal's decision is her own, no one has tried to influence it from the Shah's, neither tried to brainwash her. But that's not the case with Toshu, he is totally influenced by Rakhi and took and on top of it the greed to stay in a pent house.

7) The reason for them not moving out yet is nothing to do with sanskaar or anything, its just because kinjal and toshu are not able to come to conclusion. And everyone in family have accepted that its better to stay away and be connected rather than stay together and be unhappy. So no one from Shah's are also giving them any sanskaar ka gyaan. The issue is Toshu's approach rather than her decision. 

8) He is also trying to control Kinjal the way Vanraj did. Rakhi should have an issue with that more rather than trying to destroy the Shah's, because none of them are stopping kinjal to move out. Also even if Rakhi destroys Shah's does she really think Kinjal will leave them in such situation and go stay happily seperately. I don't think so. Atleast in Toshu and Kinjal's seperation case, Shah's are behaving sensibly and maturely. Its Rakhi who behaving like a control freak and maniac by trying to destroy Shah's which I don't know how will it help Kinjal to change her decision, infact it has higher chances of her being more firm on staying back, knowing kinjal can never become selfish like Toshu.

This is my 1st post on this forum. 

I agree to of your points. U said whatever I wanna say. 

Toshu is not wrong in wanting to stay away but it more looks like he want to stay in a penthouse, want to upgrad his soo called status that's why he wants to move out. No one in the family is stopping them, but Kinjal doesn't wanna move out. 

Kinjal doesn't wanna move out bcoz of the warm, home feeling the Shah's gives her, which she never got nor will get by living in the penthouse. 

There is ott dramas, a lot of nonsense but still the love, care, respect she specially gets from Anupamaa won't be there and honestly Shah family may not be anyone's dream family but having Anupamaa as your mil would a great thing. She has been more of her mom then Rakhi ever was. 

Even in today's episode Toshu was like I will move out alone. Why?

He wanted to move out to spend alone time with Kinjal right? He married her so got the right to burden her with his decisions?

If today he moves out and for some sadist pleasure Rakhi takes the house and job tab kya ?

He will go back running to that house right? Who he insulted and called names. Bcoz I am sure without Kinjal Rakhi won't babysit him and Kinjal won't want her mom to do any sort of that. 

If he really want to move out he should have a solid plan or just rent a house, bcoz believing Rakhi is the stupidist thing anyone can do. Also it is not his own decision unlike Kinjal. 

Originally posted by: ShinyShine

 

This is my 1st post on this forum. 

I agree to of your points. U said whatever I wanna say. 

Toshu is not wrong in wanting to stay away but it more looks like he want to stay in a penthouse, want to upgrad his soo called status that's why he wants to move out. No one in the family is stopping them, but Kinjal doesn't wanna move out. 

Kinjal doesn't wanna move out bcoz of the warm, home feeling the Shah's gives her, which she never got nor will get by living in the penthouse. 

There is ott dramas, a lot of nonsense but still the love, care, respect she specially gets from Anupamaa won't be there and honestly Shah family may not be anyone's dream family but having Anupamaa as your mil would a great thing. She has been more of her mom then Rakhi ever was. 

Even in today's episode Toshu was like I will move out alone. Why?

He wanted to move out to spend alone time with Kinjal right? He married her so got the right to burden her with his decisions?

If today he moves out and for some sadist pleasure Rakhi takes the house and job tab kya ?

He will go back running to that house right? Who he insulted and called names. Bcoz I am sure without Kinjal Rakhi won't babysit him and Kinjal won't want her mom to do any sort of that. 

If he really want to move out he should have a solid plan or just rent a house, bcoz believing Rakhi is the stupidist thing anyone can do. Also it is not his own decision unlike Kinjal. 

Exactly, issue is Rakhi not the decision.

Glad my post made you to make a comment here ❤️

Welcome to the forum. Would love to hear your povs ❤️

Originally posted by: neo7

Exactly, issue is Rakhi not the decision.

Glad my post made you to make a comment here ❤️

Welcome to the forum. Would love to hear your povs ❤️

More than rakhi , I feel toshu and kinjal are much more responsible here . Toshu wants that penthouse that is the main reason , he is not asking rakhi to shut up and do not create havoc in household . Toshu is constantly showing his interest in shifting the penthouse and because of that he is constantly encouraging rakhi’s action . If toshu informs rakhi firmly that neither I want to shift anywhere nor kinjal so stop creating havoc , there is a chances to control rakhi but jab apna he sikka khota ho toh baharwale ko kya dosh dena is the case here. 

Toshu is bounded to his greed for penthouse, what about kinjal? Why she is so weak in stopping her mother? If she really doesn’t want to shift then she should strictly inform her mother that if she will create havoc in her household, her daughter will cut all the ties with her. But No kinjal is also looking extremely weak in stopping her mother.

Rakhi ke dramas toshu ke greed and kinjal ke weak attitude ke wajah create hua hai. Agar husband -wife same page par hote toh koi bhi external force aise unke household mai havoc create nahi kar sakta.

I am not giving here any clean chit to rakhi but must say kinjal toshu is looking more at fault here specifically toshu.

Originally posted by: neo7

Toshu's decision is not wrong. But the way he put accross his decision is wrong. These are my views about his decision-

1) If he was actually not happy with the situation in the house and he really wanted to live seperately, why didn't he even for once discuss it with Kinjal and only got inyo action after Rakhi offered the pent house to live? If he really was not happy he should have decided to shift irrespective of penthouse being offered.

2) No one from the Shah family has tried to influence Kinjal or Toshu's decision. They have left the decision on them. It's because of Kinjal that they are not able to move to pent house then on what basis he is giving attitude to his family members?

3) Today he told Kinjal, that if in 2 days she doesn't decide to move to penthouse, he will alone move there, so is it just his greed to live in penthouse? 

4) According to me taking pent house from In laws is not wrong. But suppose after 2 days also, kinjal is adamant that she doesn't want to move out so when Toshu will tell Rakhi that he is alone moving to penthouse, will Rakhi actually allow him? According to me no, because, he is getting pent house because he is Kinjal's husband not because he deserves it. I can confidently say that in case there are some issues between toshu and rakhi in office, she won't tale a minute to tell him ki usko job bhi usne di and rehne ko ghar bhi usne diya warna woh sab kuch deserve nahi karta. Taking flat from such MIL is an issue, who can at any moment degrade you. If it was someone else other than Rakhi, who is more understanding and less control freak, than it is a wise decision to take the pent house and not spend on rent.

5) Toshu is not trying to understand Kinjal's reason why she doesn't wanna move out, usne apna reason sabko bata diya. Bit shouldn't he try to understand why Kinjal doesn't want to move out? Probably Kinjal has always stayed alone may be bcoz rakhi and pramod were always busy with work, her grandparents didn't stay with them, she doesn't have any sibling. This is the first time she is experiencing having family, though a dysfunctional, but everyone does give her all the love, respect, freedom and value her opinions there.

6) Atleast Kinjal's decision is her own, no one has tried to influence it from the Shah's, neither tried to brainwash her. But that's not the case with Toshu, he is totally influenced by Rakhi and took and on top of it the greed to stay in a pent house.

7) The reason for them not moving out yet is nothing to do with sanskaar or anything, its just because kinjal and toshu are not able to come to conclusion. And everyone in family have accepted that its better to stay away and be connected rather than stay together and be unhappy. So no one from Shah's are also giving them any sanskaar ka gyaan. The issue is Toshu's approach rather than her decision. 

8) He is also trying to control Kinjal the way Vanraj did. Rakhi should have an issue with that more rather than trying to destroy the Shah's, because none of them are stopping kinjal to move out. Also even if Rakhi destroys Shah's does she really think Kinjal will leave them in such situation and go stay happily seperately. I don't think so. Atleast in Toshu and Kinjal's seperation case, Shah's are behaving sensibly and maturely. Its Rakhi who behaving like a control freak and maniac by trying to destroy Shah's which I don't know how will it help Kinjal to change her decision, infact it has higher chances of her being more firm on staying back, knowing kinjal can never become selfish like Toshu.

I agree that the way Toshu is choosing to put across his views is definitely wrong, I don't think that is even up for debate.

Not taking Kinjal's views into consideration is wrong too, but I personally don't agree with her in this situation either tbh.

She is being too over-emotional/silly about this whole thing. I can't see one single thing anyone in that family is actually gaining by her and Toshu staying back there at this point in time, and I really don't see how it would be selfish of her if she agreed with Toshu and wanted to move out too.