Why Is Toshu Wrong Here?

Posted: 2 years ago

When it comes to Toshu, my feelings are quite mixed because there have been so many ups and downs/inconsistencies in his characterisation...

In the early days of the show (maybe around 11 months ago) when I first started watching, I hated him. After the big revelation at the resort, his support for Anu and the changes in his behaviour from that point on (after realising the true face of his father) made me slowly stop disliking his character so much, which is what I think the CVs wanted us all to feel then.

In recent episodes, however, along with Rakhi Dave, the CVs seem to be trying to make even Toshu more negative again.

And their chosen method for that task has been making them both push for Toshu and Kinjal to move out of the Shah family's house, and into an apartment of their own.


But my question is: what is so bad about that?


The argument many desis (especially those of older generations) would make- that it is against our culture/traditions for a son and DIL to move out like this- is absolutely hilarious if applied to this situation. 

The Shahs are a family where a middle aged couple with adult children have not only got divorced against the wishes of the elders, but the man in question (Vanraj) has has gone and married another woman who is closer to his SONS' ages than his own, and is currently living under one roof with his new wife and ex wife.

The fact that after all this, the Shahs like to think some perfect, sanskari Indian joint family is beyond absurd.


If Baa-Bapuji were really as moralistic/sanskari as they like to think, they would have thrown out Vanraj for his affair a long time ago, and given him no share in the property.


If Vanraj was even a little sanskari, he wouldn't have had the affair in the first place, and assuming that he did, he would have at least gone and taken a separate house with Kavya after marriage instead of bringing her here (knowing how much Baa and his sons hate her), and simultaneously playing "best friends" with his ex wife under the same roof. 


Finally, even she who is presented as the ultimate queen of morals, values and Indian culture- Anupama doesn't actually seem to be as mahaan or sanskari as the CVs desperately try to convince us she is. 

Because let's face it- no deeply traditional, sanskari woman obsessed with respecting elders no matter what (which is what CVs like to show Anu as nowadays) would go and file for divorce despite her mother in law literally BEGGING her not to, and her husband himself being so reluctant.

And assuming Anu is actually un-sanskari enough to totally ignore her husband and MIL's wishes along with what society will say, etc. and get divorced anyway (which she is- because she did)  if she was at least as mahaan/selfless as they like to portray her as, why is she still hanging around in Shah family's  house?

Like surely Anu can see how her presence is causing so many issues in VanYa's marriage, and contributing to causing so many arguments in the house in general?

Not to mention all the social shame/indignity caused to her (supposedly?) precious Baa-Bapuji-bacche due to this arrangement. 

For taking her shares in the house and factory? Isn't that not only exceptionally shameless/pathetic, but also actually very selfish when you think about it?


When the elders of Toshu's family are like this, and the other two children (Samar and Pankhi) are divided in blindly supporting every action/decision of one parent each- what is wrong if Toshu doesn't want to carry on living in the chaotic, dysfunctional home they have created? Why is it such a travesty if he brings up Anupama and Vanraj's divorce, and questions the majorly distorted idea of "sanskaar" in which their ridiculous arrangement (and newfound "dosti") ok, but him and Kinjal moving out is not?


Because honestly, in this current track, Toshu is looking like the sanest and most level headed person in this entire Shah family by far. Who could raise a healthy, happy family (or preserve a healthy, happy marriage) in this mess? 


Does anyone here actually disagree with his point of view?


Personally, I can't think of one single reason to do so.

Edited by Anjalika01 - 2 years ago
Posted: 2 years ago

I dislike toshu for calling his own family bhikhari/sadakchap and what not. Maa -baap chahe jaise bhi ho garib/Ameer, child should not insult own parents like this and neither should keep quite if someone is calling his parents with the names. 


I totally agree with the living separate idea because of dysfunctional family and daily basis dramas which looks like chidiya ghar.There is nothing wrong in living separately. The thing is toshu and kinjal both should come on the same page about living separately thing. Here husband-wife is not coming on the same page with understanding each other’s feelings. 

I can’t tolerate such a cheap taunt culture in the house. Look at this family, anupama Kavya taunts each other like no tomorrow. Pakhi taunts her own mother . I mean their is too much taunting culture in their house on daily basis. They taunt each other more than talking normally with each other. Better to live separate than silently witnessing such a cheap taunt culture of the house on daily basis.

Honestly I would never prefer to stay with sister in law like pakhi and step mother in law like kavya because for me peace of mind is very much important after working for long hours and I would never choose to dedicate my life to unworthy relatives because for me productive life , peace and growth is way more important than staying in joint family. 

The thing which I don’t like about toshu kinjal’s relationship is both are not able to think from other’s perspective. Of course kinjal should try to understand why and how much her husband is feeling suffocated in the house and toshu should try to understand why kinjal is not ready to live separately in place of just forcing wishes. In such decisions husband and wife should come on same page which is must for healthy marriage. 

Edited by sweet_tania - 2 years ago
Posted: 2 years ago

Jhagde to pehle bhi hote they shah parivaar mein  

On bering of episode and tilli about at least 6 month cvs ne baa aur vanraj ko  bina baat ke ladte dikhaya hai tub kyon nahin toshu ne alag rehne ka man nahin banaya ? 

Tub  alag rehne ka toshu ka apna house nahin tha. To alag kaise rehta toshu 


Ab jub gift mil gaya ek alishaah ghar mother in law se to  apne ghar ke log kahaan se ache lagenge  ek high class ka ghar mil gaya to middle class ka ghar to bekaar lagega 

Toshu khoob alag rahe magar jhooth na bole ki jhagde ki wajah se ghar chod ke jaa rahe hai. Agar aisi baat hoti to toshu pehle hi ghar chod ke chala jaata, 

Aalishaan pent house mein rehne ke liye  toshu ka yeh excuse hai  

Toshu ghar chod ke gaya alishaah pent house mein rehne ke liye  abhi rakhi toshu ko 2 chote kamre ka makaan gift kare tub dekhte hai toshu alag rehta hai ki nahin

Yeh toshu shah family pe aise jhagde ka blame lagata hai jaise toshu ne khood kabhi jhagda nahin karta 


Jub iski shaadi kinjal se nahin ho paaya rahi thi tub isne kya tamasha kiya tha. Yeh apne tamasha to bhul hi gaya 


Shah family are wrong but toshu bhi koi doodh ka dhoola nahin hai. Ghar ke jhagde mein toshu ka bhi haath hai. Toshu bhi insitgate karta tha aur galat baat ko toshu ne  support kiya specially of baa and vanraj ki galat baat support kiya 

Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by sweet_tania


I dislike toshu for calling his own family bhikhari/sadakchap and what not. Maa -baap chahe jaise bhi ho garib/Ameer, child should not insult own parents like this and neither should keep quite if someone is calling his parents with the names. 


I totally agree with the living separate idea because of dysfunctional family and daily basis dramas which looks like chidiya ghar.There is nothing wrong in living separately. The thing is toshu and kinjal both should come on the same page about living separately thing. Here husband-wife is not coming on the same page with understanding each other’s feelings. 

I can’t tolerate such a cheap taunt culture in the house. Look at this family, anupama Kavya taunts each other like no tomorrow. Pakhi taunts her own mother . I mean their is too much taunting culture in their house on daily basis. They taunt each other more than talking normally with each other. Better to live separate than silently witnessing such a cheap taunt culture of the house on daily basis.

Honestly I would never prefer to stay with sister in law like pakhi and step mother in law like kavya because for me peace of mind is very much important after working for long hours and I would never choose to dedicate my life to unworthy relatives because for me productive life , peace and growth is way more important than staying in joint family. 

The thing which I don’t like about toshu kinjal’s relationship is both are not able to think from other’s perspective. Of course kinjal should try to understand why and how much her husband is feeling suffocated in the house and toshu should try to understand why kinjal is not ready to live separately in place of just forcing wishes. In such decisions husband and wife should come on same page which is must for healthy marriage. 

Yeah saying bhikari, sadakchaap etc. was definitely wrong, I don't support that at all.

What I'm referring to is his decision of moving out in itself.

And frankly Kinjal (who used to be one of my favourite characters once upon a time) is looking nuts for wanting to remain in this circus (though CVs would probably like us to think this is a sign of her sanskaars lol).

Like no DIL in the real world would actually want to stay in a house like this with daily fights, crazy brat SIL like Pankhi, step MIL closer to their age than FIL's age, then divorced FIL-MIL playing dosti dosti under the same roof, whilst simultaneously expecting HER (the DIL) to be perfectly sanskari...

It's just too much 🤢.


I agree completely about the taunt culture, it is actually disgusting at this point. I actually forgot to also mention how Pankhi behaves with her mother, you honestly can't get more un-sanskari than that.


This Anupama is failing to teach her daughter such basic morals/manners, happily lives with her ex and his wife as his new "best friend" with no shame, and we are supposed to accept her as the pinnacle of sanskaars, morality and motherhood. 


What a joke 🤡.

Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by Anjalika01


Yeah saying bhikari, sadakchaap etc. was definitely wrong, I don't support that at all.

What I'm referring to is his decision of moving out in itself.

And frankly Kinjal (who used to be one of my favourite characters once upon a time) is looking nuts for wanting to remain in this circus (though CVs would probably like us to think this is a sign of her sanskaars lol).

Like no DIL in the real world would actually want to stay in a house like this with daily fights, crazy brat SIL like Pankhi, step MIL closer to their age than FIL's age, then divorced FIL-MIL playing dosti dosti under the same roof, whilst simultaneously expecting HER (the DIL) to be perfectly sanskari...

It's just too much 🤢.


I agree completely about the taunt culture, it is actually disgusting at this point. I actually forgot to also mention how Pankhi behaves with her mother, you honestly can't get more un-sanskari than that.


This Anupama is failing to teach her daughter such basic morals/manners, happily lives with her ex and his wife as his new "best friend" with no shame, and we are supposed to accept her as the pinnacle of sanskaars, morality and motherhood. 


What a joke 🤡.

Look at the marriage life of married couples in this household. Anupama -vanraj were never on same page and case was always about incompatibility + no mutual respect + betrayal+ mental harassment.

Look at Vanraj -Kavya marriage there is no mutual respect + never on same page . 


Look at Kinjal -Toshu marriage life. Neither wife tries to understand why and till what extent her husband feels suffocated in the house nor husband tries to understand why wife is not ready to live separately. There is no heart to heart communication or discussion to come on same page. 

Baa-Bapuji’s marriage life looks evolved, I have noticed that these both always comes on same page for any decisions. That’s called married life. 

Here house culture has extremely taunting environment. Since ex-wife current-wife lives together, they both are taunting each other endless, bratty sister in law is always busy taunting her mother and earlier she used to taunt kinjal also. Vanraj - Anupama also time to time taunt each other as per mood swings. 

At least ekdusro ko pura din taunt maarna bandh karege toh bhi thode civil dikhenge. Sanskar morality motherhood sab bahot dur ki baat hai.


As I said , I myself will never like to stay with such a bratty sister in law and evil step mother in law. On a very first day I would give offer to mother in law to choose in between staying with son or staying with ex-in laws. If my mother in law chooses to stay with step mother in law, I would leave the house at very moment because in no sense I would like to stay with step mother in law and bratty sister in law all together.


Moving out is not at all bad thing because productive life , peace and growth is everyone’s right . It’s just that husband -wife should try to understand each other’s wishes and reason in place of forcing each other and always should come on same page for such decisions.

Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by surabhi01


Jhagde to pehle bhi hote they shah parivaar mein  

On bering of episode and tilli about at least 6 month cvs ne baa aur vanraj ko  bina baat ke ladte dikhaya hai tub kyon nahin toshu ne alag rehne ka man nahin banaya ? 

Tub  alag rehne ka toshu ka apna house nahin tha. To alag kaise rehta toshu 


Ab jub gift mil gaya ek alishaah ghar mother in law se to  apne ghar ke log kahaan se ache lagenge  ek high class ka ghar mil gaya to middle class ka ghar to bekaar lagega 

Toshu khoob alag rahe magar jhooth na bole ki jhagde ki wajah se ghar chod ke jaa rahe hai. Agar aisi baat hoti to toshu pehle hi ghar chod ke chala jaata, 

Aalishaan pent house mein rehne ke liye  toshu ka yeh excuse hai  

Toshu ghar chod ke gaya alishaah pent house mein rehne ke liye  abhi rakhi toshu ko 2 chote kamre ka makaan gift kare tub dekhte hai toshu alag rehta hai ki nahin

Yeh toshu shah family pe aise jhagde ka blame lagata hai jaise toshu ne khood kabhi jhagda nahin karta 


Jub iski shaadi kinjal se nahin ho paaya rahi thi tub isne kya tamasha kiya tha. Yeh apne tamasha to bhul hi gaya 


Shah family are wrong but toshu bhi koi doodh ka dhoola nahin hai. Ghar ke jhagde mein toshu ka bhi haath hai. Toshu bhi insitgate karta tha aur galat baat ko toshu ne  support kiya specially of baa and vanraj ki galat baat support kiya 


I'm not saying Toshu is perfect, but I do think he is starting to look like one of the more sensible/sorted out members of the Shah family overall. 

You're asking why Toshu didn't want to move out earlier (when Vanraj and Anupama were still married), but to me the answers are obvious:

a.) Because however unhappy things were, they were not as bad as they are now. To Toshu (and the rest of the world) Anupama and Vanraj were just a married couple with some fairly minor issues at that time, and Baa was just another strict old fashioned desi MIL. Although Vanraj and Baa's treatment of Anu was often unfair, all these explosive fights that occur pretty much everyday between Kavya and other family members now weren't going on back then, for the simple reason that in those days, they were a (relatively) normal family. No 30 year old ultra-modern step mother, plus divorcee parents playing mujhse dosti karoge under one roof for poor Toshu back then lol.

b.) Because Toshu himself was at a different point in his life back then. He was a student, unemployed and unmarried. Nobody would think about moving out in situation, unless there are some seriously huge issues at home (which there weren't). 


Now when the situation in his family home has changed so drastically, and he is married, working and will probably start his own family in the next few years, it makes perfect sense to me that his stand would change.


And what is so wrong if Toshu takes the apartment he is inheriting from his MIL? Even right now him and Kinjal are staying in his grand father's house. And Anupama stays in her FIL's house even after divorce and second marriage of her ex husband. Why is all this ok, but Toshu taking property from his current MIL so shameful?


Also I did say I disliked Toshu's character in the early days (when he was madly obsessed with Kinjal and used to blindly support anything Baa/Vanraj said or did), but over time I think his character has improved, and although he still has his flaws, he is looking a lot saner and more moralistic overall (excluding a few scenes) compared to most people in his family.

Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by Anjalika01



I'm not saying Toshu is perfect, but I do think he is starting to look like one of the more sensible/sorted out members of the Shah family overall. 

You're asking why Toshu didn't want to move out earlier (when Vanraj and Anupama were still married), but to me the answers are obvious:

a.) Because however unhappy things were, they were not as bad as they are now. To Toshu (and the rest of the world) Anupama and Vanraj were just a married couple with some fairly minor issues at that time, and Baa was just another strict old fashioned desi MIL. Although Vanraj and Baa's treatment of Anu was often unfair, all these explosive fights that occur pretty much everyday between Kavya and other family members now weren't going on back then, for the simple reason that in those days, they were a (relatively) normal family. No 30 year old ultra-modern step mother, plus divorcee parents playing mujhse dosti karoge under one roof for poor Toshu back then lol.

b.) Because Toshu himself was at a different point in his life back then. He was a student, unemployed and unmarried. Nobody would think about moving out in situation, unless there are some seriously huge issues at home (which there weren't). 


Now when the situation in his family home has changed so drastically, and he is married, working and will probably start his own family in the next few years, it makes perfect sense to me that his stand would change.


And what is so wrong if Toshu takes the apartment he is inheriting from his MIL? Even right now him and Kinjal are staying in his grand father's house. And Anupama stays in her FIL's house even after divorce and second marriage of her ex husband. Why is all this ok, but Toshu taking property from his current MIL so shameful?


Also I did say I disliked Toshu's character in the early days (when he was madly obsessed with Kinjal and used to blindly support anything Baa/Vanraj said or did), but over time I think his character has improved, and although he still has his flaws, he is looking a lot saner and more moralistic overall (excluding a few scenes) compared to most people in his family.

For points a and b 👏👏👏

Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by sweet_tania


Look at the marriage life of married couples in this household. Anupama -vanraj were never on same page and case was always about incompatibility + no mutual respect + betrayal+ mental harassment.

Look at Vanraj -Kavya marriage there is no mutual respect + never on same page . 


Look at Kinjal -Toshu marriage life. Neither wife tries to understand why and till what extent her husband feels suffocated in the house nor husband tries to understand why wife is not ready to live separately. There is no heart to heart communication or discussion to come on same page. 

Baa-Bapuji’s marriage life looks evolved, I have noticed that these both always comes on same page for any decisions. That’s called married life. 

Here house culture has extremely taunting environment. Since ex-wife current-wife lives together, they both are taunting each other endless, bratty sister in law is always busy taunting her mother and earlier she used to taunt kinjal also. Vanraj - Anupama also time to time taunt each other as per mood swings. 

At least ekdusro ko pura din taunt maarna bandh karege toh bhi thode civil dikhenge. Sanskar morality motherhood sab bahot dur ki baat hai.


As I said , I myself will never like to stay with such a bratty sister in law and evil step mother in law. On a very first day I would give offer to mother in law to choose in between staying with son or staying with ex-in laws. If my mother in law chooses to stay with step mother in law, I would leave the house at very moment because in no sense I would like to stay with step mother in law and bratty sister in law all together.


Moving out is not at all bad thing because productive life , peace and growth is everyone’s right . It’s just that husband -wife should try to understand each other’s wishes and reason in place of forcing each other and always should come on same page for such decisions.

I agree with every word completely, except I wouldn't say Toshu and Kinjal have an uhealthy/unhappy marriage overall- certainly nothing on the level of Anupama-Vanraj or Vanraj-Kavya at any rate.

I used to love Kinjal but these days I'm starting to feel like she should just listen to her mother and husband, and get out of this mess before it's too late.

It is both hilarious and frustrating at the same time how Dave family (happily married couple with polite, decent daughter who shows lots of love and respect to both parents) are shown as the un-sanskari ones simply for being more westernised, while Shah family with affair, and ex husband-ex wife living together as "friends" along with the current wife too, son who hates father, daughter who hates (and regularly insults) mother are shown as ambassadors of sanskaar.


But anyway needless to say, I would never in a million years want to live in a joint family like the Shahs myself either, and if by some huge misfortune I ended up in one, I'd consider it a blessing if my husband himself decided to move out of this circus without me even having to prompt him 😆.

Edited by Anjalika01 - 2 years ago
Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by Anjalika01


I agree with every word completely, except I wouldn't say Toshu and Kinjal have an uhealthy/unhappy marriage overall- certainly nothing on the level of Anupama-Vanraj or Vanraj-Kavya at any rate.

I used to love Kinjal but these days I'm starting to feel like she should just listen to her mother and husband, and get out of this mess before it's too late.

It is both hilarious and frustrating at the same time how Dave family (happily married couple with polite, decent daughter who shows lots of love and respect to both parents) are shown as the un-sanskari ones simply for being more westernised, while Shah family with affair, and ex husband-ex wife living together as "friends" along with the current wife too, son who hates father, daughter who hates (and regularly insults) mother are shown as ambassadors of sanskaar.


But anyway needless to say, I would never in a million years want to live in a joint family like the Shahs myself either, and if by some huge misfortune I ended up in one, I'd consider it a blessing if my husband himself decided to move out of this circus without me even having to prompt him 😆.

@ bold : of course kinjal toshu’s marriage life is much better than Anupamaa vanraj or kavya vanraj.


The way they are trying to show Anupamaa as ambassador of sansar or shah family as ambassador of sanskar is like yawning 🥱 feeling. 

@bold underline : lol I’d also consider it a blessing if my husband himself decided to move out of this circus without me asking because I can’t tolerate taunt culture and bratty sister in law/ evil step mother in law all together. 


When I see pakhi , I feel so blessed for not having any sister in law in my life because understanding sister in law can be your best friend but bratty sister in law like Pakhi and biased sister in law like anupama can make your life hell to protect leela type orthodox mother in law’s respect at any cost .

Posted: 2 years ago

I Dont know from where it is conclusion draw that bahu ko property milni chahiye aur damad ko nahin 

Yahan pur kisi ne gender ki baat nahin ki 

Yahan pur yeh baat ho rahi hai ki mother in law se property milne pur  toshu jaise arrogant behave kar raha hai woh galat hai 

Yeh toshu jitna rudely baat karta hai aur yeh samjhata hai ki yeh shah family to khuch aata nahin hai 

Then i want to ask toshu if  shah family Dont anything to tumne kausa apne hard work se paise kamane se ghar khareda hai 

Yeh toshu to mother in law se gift milne kis baat ka ghamand dikha raha hai shah family ko 


Bapuji ne apne paise se 2 kamre ka  makaan liya tha but yeh toshu kis baat ka ghamand dikha raha hai 

Yeh toshu apne aapko itna kaabil samhjhata hai  to khud hard work karne ek ek paise jod ke ghar khareeden 

But yahan to toshu to jabardasti ki akad dikha raha hai 


Toshu khoob jaata kur rahe apni mother in law ke diye hue ghar mein v. But bekaar ki akad na dikhaye aur na  blame kare kyonki toshu  bhi khud bhi jhagda karta aaya, hai  . He cannot put all blame  on shah family  . Toshu ne bhi galtiyaan ki hai but ghar mein problem hoti hai toh toshu ne saara blame shah family daal diya aur aapne aap ko victim prroove kiya which is totally wrong 

Toshu remember only negative thing. But toshu yeh bhool gaya ki jub toshu ki shaadi  ki kinjal se nahin ho paa rahi thi aur jub toshu depress mein chala jaa raha tha aur ajeeb ajeeb harkat kar raha tha  anupama aur samar ne kaise morally support kiya tha. Toshu ko positive baat kyon nahin yaad hai 


Btw we also Dont wanted anupama toh accept property of bapuji. We sincerly want anupama note live in shah house and shoulder go to her mayka aur live in rent house but cvs didi note listen us


Another thing if anybody support anupama  shoulder get property from ex in law not because she was daughter in law of shah but anupama deserve property from shah because she really deserve it because anupama gave her whole life to shah and sacrifice her own  . Yahan pur damad bahu ko se lena dena hai hi nahin 

Now kavya is daughter in law of shah but no body is saying kavya deserve to get property from shah kyonki kavya ne aisa khuch kiya hai hi nahin hai jo woh property deserve kare 

But since it was self acquired property of bapuji ki choice woh kisi ko bhi property dein

Edited by surabhi01 - 2 years ago


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