Any specific reasons why Toshu and Pakhi hate Anupama??

Is there any reason why pakhi and toshu hate anupama . I mean anupama was wrong but she indeed did so much for both of them even more then Samar ... She destroyed her second  marriage because of shah anmol ratan pakhi and toshu but why they don't acknowledge her sacrifice she did for them

Because her mother  is not ultra  modern woman that is why pakhi  and toshu  hate anupama 

Such a silly reason  

Vanar and Baa Baghwan have always treated Anupama as a lesser mortal. She tried her best to please them. Watching them belittling Anupama Pakhi and Toshu made her their punching bag and projected Kavya as their mother as she was Sauve and spoke stylishly.

It became convenient for them to blame all their setbacks in life on Anupama and it satisfied the ego of Vanar and his Mata.

Yes bec of vanraj 

usually kids follow whichever parent they are close to in life 

vanraj hatd anupama simple dressing and her smell etc thought shes illeterate etc same toshu and pakhi also think 

vanraj humilate anupama saying you are illiterate do not know anything do not know english etc same thing toshu and pakhi did 

vanraj say do not come with me to any function outside you are not fit for my standards 

same pakhi did did not take her to school 

what your favourite parent does you learn from them actually 

Like in india before 1980s kids were mostly close to fathers family, nowadays kids are close to mothers family 

Because before 1980s the power econonmic or otherwise was with father so he ensure his kids love his parents his siblings bond with his neice nephews etc 

But after 1990s many woman started working earning much more than slowly they ensured their kids get close to their parets and siblings not hubby siblings or parents so now kids are more close to mothers family 

Also if your parent tells you hate my husband parents or his siblings stay awy from them kids will follow that only 

Same way as vanraj said his kids to be away from anupama mom and brother 

if your mom hates your dad does not give him proper respect and do not respect his family her in laws etc whichever kid is close to her will do same

if your dad hates your mom humiliates her and her family etc kid whose close to dad do same 

Whoever is dominant in relationship kid will be close to her or his family 

Same way aadhya/CA was close to anuj so shes close to adhik, malati devi, barkha, dimpy etc all who are from anuj family 

Yes because shes small she liked vanraj and samar too from shahs but shes too small 7 years so soon hatred do not come. Also adhya is adopted kid they are greatful to parents so they will be loyal to both sides of family 

If aadhya knows what vanraj did to malvika she will hate shahs much more 

Usually parents are responsible to develop hatred in heart of kids against maternal or paternal family members 

If mom is dominant at home in marriage and she hates hubby family than kids hate paternal family 

If dad is dominant like vanraj than kids hate mom family maternal family or not close to them

It all depend on mom/dad 

Adhya was always close to anuj than anupama after adoption. If CA had panic attack anuj ran from shah house back to kapadiyas, adhik and brakha consoled her etc so she grow close to anuj family. 

Anupama never had time for her allowed her shahs to abuse that kid never took stand. While anuj and his relatives always loved CA and treated her with love like adhik, barkha, ankush, malati, dimpy etc so adhya is close to anuj and his family more than anupama and her shahs 

Also kids like pakhi.toshu knew vanraj earns money anupama cannot fund them so they gravitated towards vanraj for monetary benefits and try to please him (most kids do that, if your father is billionaire and mom is middle class they will obivously try to please dad only. It also depends in marriage whose dominant partner) 

It's all on the upbringing. They were served with high amount of love and pampering. Look at ansh now, he was bought up in a really bad way but NOW dimpy took a stand and took responsibility of making him an obedient child. Wish anupama did that

Its her karma for destroying Anuj and Choti Anu’s lives. She deserves all the hate and more that is she is getting.

Originally posted by: Muskie

It's all on the upbringing. They were served with high amount of love and pampering. Look at ansh now, he was bought up in a really bad way but NOW dimpy took a stand and took responsibility of making him an obedient child. Wish anupama did that

Please don't show them the mirror. That will be a threat to the Lead and it won't be long before they turn their back on her and butcher the character. Typical.

Because her love is cheap.   Living beings - Humans or animals right from the time they are born start learning survival skills. They do more so by observation rather than what is told to them verbally. Anupamaa's love, respect, and services that she offered to Shahs were never respected or acknowledged by V and Baa. Compare this to V and Baa. No matter how much they snub her, they still command love and respect from her. V and Baa never made any effort to win Anupmaa's respect or affection, but Anupamaa had to work hard for it. I remember a scene before V and Anu's marriage anniversary, where she asks Baa that 1st time when we married I was not your choice, but am I your choice now? To which, Baa answers that now she does not find her that bad. 25 years and that's all she could achieve. Still not a choice, but not that bad. That's what Anupamaa got in that marriage, that house. Painstaking hard work, undying affection, three healthy kids, dreams sacrificed, unconditional services, no complaints - all this she gave to that house. So when a child sees that even after giving everything, returns are still zero, she gets bare minimal, why would a child imbibe those qualities of affection, mutual respect, sharing etc. It got Anupamaa nowhere. While on the other hand, V and Baa made the world around them dance to their tunes. They never sought Anupamaa's validation. They never had to make efforts to get Anupama's attention or her love. It was always there. In the eyes of the children of the house, these two enjoyed the life of the King and Queen mother while Anupamaa became a slave. That's why the divorce between Vanraj and Anupamaa should have happened long back when the psyche of her children was being damaged, but couldn't happen. 

When her divorce happened with Vanraj, her children were older and their worldview had almost cemented. That's why at least the two of them wanted shortcuts in life. Pakhi wanted to marry a rich guy. Tosu either wanted to live off Rakhi's riches or through scams and other dubious means. Because they had never seen hard work and patience succeed or be respected in their lives. Samar came out to be a little different, perhaps because he was better gifted to observe the cycle of abuse being meted out and wanted to break that cycle by not being like Vanraj and Baa, by still choosing to be kind and understanding despite seeing those qualities not being appreciated. But even he was not completely untouched by the upbringing he got. Once in a while Vanraj and Baa peeped out from his character and he became unjust to Nandini, Dimpy, and even Anupamaa. 

After the divorce, the only chance Anupamaa had was to lead by example and not by lecture. Had she become successful, had she carved out a place for herself with the same qualities she exhibited, maybe she could have brought a change. But even that did not happen. Her professional life just remained compromised. Just remove Anuj and Yashdeep from the picture and the whole facade of being independent or a businesswoman just collapses. Although a YouTube channel was there to her credit but still what did that YouTube channel also give her? She had to beg her way out into a restaurant whose owner was kind enough to give her a job. Her personal life remained as bad. Even with a loving husband and daughter, things still hit rock bottom. So why should Tosu and Pakhi look up to her? In fact they would want to be everything anti that Anupamaa is.  Tosu asked her aapka kya bhala ho gaya jo humara ho jayega. What good has she done for herself that she thinks she can lecture them. What has her set of values given her ? What could she achieve out of them ? Nothing - Zero. 

Needless to say even after so many years, nobody in the Shah house has to work for her attention, love, care, and efforts. Anupamaa is still seeking their validation. She still wants to be loved by them. After so many years her love is still cheap. What's cheap is not respected. Perhaps they hate her because she wants to make them like her. And that they resist, that they deplore and HATE with all their hearts. The bottom line is everyone wants to be successful and respected. V and Baa are successful and respected. Anupamaa is a failure and still disrespected. She is dispensable. Until her efforts and her love remain cheap, her 5 pages of the lecture will have no impact on Tosu and Pakhi and even on Baa. 

is aurat ko hate karne ke liye mujhe to reason ki bhi zaroorat nahi hai 

wo to fir bhi bacche hai iske they have a big reason to hate her 

Originally posted by: InsaneDivine

Because her love is cheap.   Living beings - Humans or animals right from the time they are born start learning survival skills. They do more so by observation rather than what is told to them verbally. Anupamaa's love, respect, and services that she offered to Shahs were never respected or acknowledged by V and Baa. Compare this to V and Baa. No matter how much they snub her, they still command love and respect from her. V and Baa never made any effort to win Anupmaa's respect or affection, but Anupamaa had to work hard for it. I remember a scene before V and Anu's marriage anniversary, where she asks Baa that 1st time when we married I was not your choice, but am I your choice now? To which, Baa answers that now she does not find her that bad. 25 years and that's all she could achieve. Still not a choice, but not that bad. That's what Anupamaa got in that marriage, that house. Painstaking hard work, undying affection, three healthy kids, dreams sacrificed, unconditional services, no complaints - all this she gave to that house. So when a child sees that even after giving everything, returns are still zero, she gets bare minimal, why would a child imbibe those qualities of affection, mutual respect, sharing etc. It got Anupamaa nowhere. While on the other hand, V and Baa made the world around them dance to their tunes. They never sought Anupamaa's validation. They never had to make efforts to get Anupama's attention or her love. It was always there. In the eyes of the children of the house, these two enjoyed the life of the King and Queen mother while Anupamaa became a slave. That's why the divorce between Vanraj and Anupamaa should have happened long back when the psyche of her children was being damaged, but couldn't happen. 

When her divorce happened with Vanraj, her children were older and their worldview had almost cemented. That's why at least the two of them wanted shortcuts in life. Pakhi wanted to marry a rich guy. Tosu either wanted to live off Rakhi's riches or through scams and other dubious means. Because they had never seen hard work and patience succeed or be respected in their lives. Samar came out to be a little different, perhaps because he was better gifted to observe the cycle of abuse being meted out and wanted to break that cycle by not being like Vanraj and Baa, by still choosing to be kind and understanding despite seeing those qualities not being appreciated. But even he was not completely untouched by the upbringing he got. Once in a while Vanraj and Baa peeped out from his character and he became unjust to Nandini, Dimpy, and even Anupamaa. 

After the divorce, the only chance Anupamaa had was to lead by example and not by lecture. Had she become successful, had she carved out a place for herself with the same qualities she exhibited, maybe she could have brought a change. But even that did not happen. Her professional life just remained compromised. Just remove Anuj and Yashdeep from the picture and the whole facade of being independent or a businesswoman just collapses. Although a YouTube channel was there to her credit but still what did that YouTube channel also give her? She had to beg her way out into a restaurant whose owner was kind enough to give her a job. Her personal life remained as bad. Even with a loving husband and daughter, things still hit rock bottom. So why should Tosu and Pakhi look up to her? In fact they would want to be everything anti that Anupamaa is.  Tosu asked her aapka kya bhala ho gaya jo humara ho jayega. What good has she done for herself that she thinks she can lecture them. What has her set of values given her ? What could she achieve out of them ? Nothing - Zero. 

Needless to say even after so many years, nobody in the Shah house has to work for her attention, love, care, and efforts. Anupamaa is still seeking their validation. She still wants to be loved by them. After so many years her love is still cheap. What's cheap is not respected. Perhaps they hate her because she wants to make them like her. And that they resist, that they deplore and HATE with all their hearts. The bottom line is everyone wants to be successful and respected. V and Baa are successful and respected. Anupamaa is a failure and still disrespected. She is dispensable. Until her efforts and her love remain cheap, her 5 pages of the lecture will have no impact on Tosu and Pakhi and even on Baa. 

I see in india all around me abused woman like anupama in house holds slogging away taking care of kids and in laws and hubby never acknowledged especially in villages and smaller towns above that betrayed by hubby etc

For that matter many Bollywood wives(refrain from taking name as all know names) of big big super stars did same sacrificed careerists took care of hubby in laws kids and yet husband cheated and betrayed them. They have no much say in their homes financial matters etc like anupama only 

But the kids give their moms lot of respect and love and care unlike anupama kapoots 

So your argument that because anupama love is cheap service is cheap never respected by hubby and in laws so her kids do not follow or respect her is wrong 

I have seen many kids from anupama and vanraj baa kind of house holds respecting their poor not so educated slogging betrayed mom highly and obeying them and standing up for abuse against their dads for what  their moms face unlike anupama kapoots. 

I do not think you will get anupama kind of kapoots in every house hold where anupama kind of uneducated poor slave dis empowered mothers exist. Indeed such woman command lot of love and respect by own kids as they see their moms suffer so much all life