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Hello! Sorry about the delay! Hope the wait will be worth it in the end :) This is the next part hope you all enjoy it! Thank you to everyone for commenting/liking/reading the FF so far! Your encouragement to continue is one of my main motivations to write, else my love for Sid and Shilpa would have had to done it all alone :P Thank you for reading in advance Tc buddies! xxx
*****
Part 5: Tu Na Jaane Aas Paas Hai Khuda...
My shivering hands anxiously clasped the hot mug and as I took a sip the strong smell of freshly ground coffee invaded my senses, the warm steam wafting into my face and hair, the content burning as I gulped and it slipped down my throat, causing my eyes to water.
"Main tumse kuch pooch raha hoon, Shilpa.." Sid said firmly.
It had been half an hour since I'd awoken in his bed, completely unaware of what had happened since I'd come to apologise, no wait, of course I remembered all that, but the part after I'd hit my head, that was a blur.
As I looked up at him in confusion, Sid had told me to rest, he murmed something quickly about getting me something to eat and had rushed to the kitchen. Yet in his absence, all that was playing in my mind was that final moment of recollection, the door, my fingertips stained with blood.. then a blank...then that moment again... and another blank, like a broken record player.
I slammed my hand on the duvet next to me, frowning in anger. I was like a child with a stubborn demand to know what had happened, I hated not knowing things, especially since....
I pushed myself to sit up in his bed and found myself gawping at the surroundings, scrutinising them as I desperately tried to recall something, trying to see whether it would trigger something in my memory...anything.
From a gap in the dark curtains, I could see the slow buildup of sunrise evidenced by the awesome splashes of pinks oranges and purples across the sky as the night gave in to the day. Sid's room itself was like the inside of an old Victorian manor house. Everything was made of wood, the bed, the wardrobes and drawers...it was different to his previous house, not only the style but the way he had kept it. The lights were very dim and there wasn't really anything in it which suggested it was Sid's room rather just another regular one. No personal belongings, no toys, no photos...no colour. It was so ...dull.
As I heard the door open, I could only stare at Sid in silence as he walked slowly into the room carrying a small tray, waiting to ask my questions, knowing he was the only one with the answers, the only person who could help me fix the puzzle... but I was disappointed when I found he wanted answers too.
"Tumhari chot itni gehri nahi thi Shilpa, ki tum uski wajah se behosh hojao...had you treated it on time, it would have been fine...but you lost consciousness and and by the time I found you and brought you here you'd lost so much blood...kuch bhi ho sakta tha.."
I went over his words again and realised I pretty much had all my answers in a nutshell but where was Sid heading with his questions? The important part wasn't that I had lost consciousness but what happened after. Don't get me wrong of course the whole fainting thing was pretty big but I didn't intend on running into any more doors after this either......I was grateful he had helped me but sometimes I wished Sid wouldn't talk in riddles, my throbbing headache hadn't got better since my accident, rather it just seemed to be getting a whole lot worse...I acknowledged my mistake and fine I needed to take care of myself but I didn't need him to lecture me about it, what was done was done...
I realised Sid was waiting for me to say something...
I sighed, frustrated, "So what Sid, kuch hua to nahi na-"
He cut me off angrily, "That's not the point Shilpa..."
I rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders dramatically, "Ok so what is the point then? What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to tell me....tell me why you were so weak, why you were so...so frail that you managed to succumb to a wound which wouldn't have affected you at all had you been fit and healthy, had you been okay.."
I raised my eyebrows at him in disbelief, was he for real?! Since when wasn't I "fit", in fact last time I checked my diet was perfect according to my nutritionist and I was a regualar at the gym...wow this really was a new way to kick someone when they were down, I mean if he was indirectly calling me obese... I pursed my lips inviting him to try again before I became really insulted.
He closed his eyes and sighed long and hard, letting his head drop as he did so. I watched him patiently, he raised his head after a moment and gradually opened his eyes, " We both know why you fainted ..."
Again, not what I was expecting to hear, I felt my forehead crease.
Looking dead on into my eyes he added, "Why you haven't eaten anything all day, Shilpa?"
I blinked in surprise and looked away in the next split second.. I could feel myself blushing, actually "blushing" was an understatement. My past experiences told me that my cheeks had probably flushed to a very deep beetroot purple...how subtle..
It was at this point I had decided to taste the coffee, of course I had completely underestimated the time I had given it to "cool-down" thus, in fact, it had been scorching hot. My impatience was only due to his withering gaze as he watched me till I responded, it made me feel edgy but I couldn't answer the question and to ease my own discomfort, if it was my move to make, I would not talk but drink the scalding coffee instead.
Honestly, it burned though and I silently whined in pain and sympathy as I felt my tongue swell up..
My head was lowered as I heard, "Main tumse kuch pooch raha hoon, Shilpa.." from across the bed.
I didn't want to look up for many reasons; firstly, I didn't have the right answer to his question, secondly my eyes were watering from the burning sensation in my mouth and I probably looked even more ridiculous now with those "pink cheeks" too....and basically, I would have to lie to get past his question but I couldn't do that if I looked Sid in the eye...we both knew that.
Have you ever been in a situation where someone asks you a question and your brain automatically gives you the best answer to that question as you register it in your head? An answer you know is the right one else you wouldn't have come up with it...
It was the same situation I was going throught right now. Sid had asked me and automatically a thought had popped into my head; an answer to the question...but it's that very answer which had shocked me, frightened me. It may have been right but it was also inappropriate...one of those things which you might think but couldn't be disclosed; definitely unspeakable... I had dismissed it straight away, to say it meant some more misunderstandings. I was unsure of the meaning behind it all myself ...so how could I explain myself to Sid?
Have you ever been in a situation where you need to think of another, different, answer to someone's question and that first answer just won't go away??
No matter how much I tried to conjure even a basic sentence, any other excuse...my mind just wouldn't block out that first damned notion. It was as if I lost all my creativity and imagination in that second.
Come on, Come on....I thought to myself, This is Sid, you can tell him anything and he'll believe you....Just think of something for crying out loud! Anything!!...Just talk!..
I frowned in deliberation and bit on my lip nervously, "Sid...woh...actually main bhool gayi-"
"Jhoot mat bolo..."
I looked up at him in wonder yet feigned my puzzled expression instead, "Main jhoot kyun-"
"Shilpa...."
Oh no, he was looking into my eyes! It was like a reflex, I wanted to stop myself but he made me feel so guilty! I closed my eyes but I just saw his face there too, I could feel the words shaping in my mind, my mouth getting ready to say them, and I heard my own voice,
"Kyunki tum naraz the!"
I hesitantly peeked at Sid and witnessed his eyes widen, how he was taken aback by what I'd said and I regretted it instantly...we both stared at one another astonished.
Simulatenously, we both looked away and I felt the tension multiply a thousand times more in the room. It had been me alone at first, now Sid was contributing to it..
If I had a wall next to me right now I'd beat my head on it, Stupid Shilpa, Stupid Stupid Shilpa...That was a good point actually, I glanced up to the left of the room and was dejected to find that the the only door, the only escape route in the room was to the right in the furthest corner, just past where Sid's head was right now. So if I wanted to make a quick getaway I would have to move past Sid...I looked down towards my lap, from what I could feel there were atleast two thick layers on top of me and Sid sitting on the edge of the bed meant that he had completely blocked every possible chance I had of lifting the heavy load to release my legs and make a run for it....
Grrrr....I had no option....I would just have to wait for Sid to leave first.. God help me, he really wasn't the quickest person when it came to making snappy decisions...
I sat there mortified, counting down elephant seconds...
"I'm sorry..." he whispered.
I glanced up at him amazed, and without a doubt, it was me he was talking to...I frowned, "Kisliye?"
"Meri wajah se tumhe chot lagi"...
Instinctively, I reached up to my left eye and just as my fingers touched the plaster, I had a sudden flashback...
I saw Sid's face looming over me, and I realised I must have gained consciousness for a second whilst he was treating me. I remembered his concerned expression as he desperately warmed up my hands in his, the pain in his eyes when I whimpered as he dabbed at the bleeding with cotton wool...
I saw him looking at me now and my heart melted..a wet moisture soaked the corner of my eyes.
"Thank you" I breathed..."Kal raat ke liye"
He smiled, "Main is chot ke bare mein baat nahi kar raha hoon pagal...Well, maybe that too....but more my behaviour the other night, jo bhi maine tumse kaha....mujhe nahi kehna chahiye tha. I am..I'm sorry..."
I laughed through tears, " Ok and I'm sorry too, for leaving you and for everything else!" I pulled at my ears, "Dobara aisi ghalti nahi hogi.."
He chuckled and playfully hit my right hand, allowing me to drop the gesture, accepting the apology.
I beamed at him, everything was finally okay...
"So..." Sid rolled his eyes and I saw them lighten up as a thought came to him, "Tumhara favourite restaurant kaunsa hai?"
"Hello! 'Restaurant' " I mocked him, "Kam pe nahi jaana kya??"
He lowered his gaze miserably, "Shilpa, mujhe nahi lagta-"
I tutted, "O fo Sid, main hoon na! Don't worry...main Dhami Uncle ko samjha doongi, wo Dad ke dost hain... wo bauhaut ache hain..kuch nahi hoga..Ab to yeh silly si shakal mat banao" I smiled as I saw those same eyes fill with hope,
"But Shilpa-"
"But nothing!" I interrupted him, impatient, "Jitni jaldi jaayenge, utni jaldi baat hogi! Come on, we're late!" I moved quickly to get up but immediately regretted it and held my forehead as the room spun around me..
"Shilpa!" Sid grabbed a hold of my arms... "Tum teek ho na?"
I raised my head up at him, his face was a few inches away from mine. I blinked away, "I'm fine Sid, bas chakar aagaya tha"...
"Ok that's it. First, we're going to get some food in you....pata nahi kabse bhooki ghoom rahi ho, phir kaam aur tab Dr. Dhami se baat karlena.."
"Sid-"
"Nahi, mujhe aur kuch nahi sun na. Phele khanna and that's final" He pulled the duvet off and helped me up as I rested an arm on his shoulders.
After ambling forward a few steps, he pretended to struggle as we slowly made our way to the door, "God Shilpa, tumhe nahi lagta tum kuch zyaada bhari hogayi ho.."
I scowled and gritted my teeth but couldn't help the smile that broke across my face as I noticed him smirking at me. I lightly slapped his arm instead and watched as his childlike laughter filled the room...and in that very same moment, just like that I was temporarily blinded as I had been looking at Sid's side profile.
A radiant outline on the back of his hair, highlighting them to a soft brown forced me to look behind and observe the overwhelming rays of the sun penetrate those bleak curtains and lighten up the room...
I smiled, everything was perfect, beautiful, as if nature were rejoicing with us, happy now that we had found each other...
**************
Thank you for reading! Please do leave comments/criticisms! Lots of love and luck to you all!
XxX
*****
Part 5: Tu Na Jaane Aas Paas Hai Khuda...
My shivering hands anxiously clasped the hot mug and as I took a sip the strong smell of freshly ground coffee invaded my senses, the warm steam wafting into my face and hair, the content burning as I gulped and it slipped down my throat, causing my eyes to water.
"Main tumse kuch pooch raha hoon, Shilpa.." Sid said firmly.
It had been half an hour since I'd awoken in his bed, completely unaware of what had happened since I'd come to apologise, no wait, of course I remembered all that, but the part after I'd hit my head, that was a blur.
As I looked up at him in confusion, Sid had told me to rest, he murmed something quickly about getting me something to eat and had rushed to the kitchen. Yet in his absence, all that was playing in my mind was that final moment of recollection, the door, my fingertips stained with blood.. then a blank...then that moment again... and another blank, like a broken record player.
I slammed my hand on the duvet next to me, frowning in anger. I was like a child with a stubborn demand to know what had happened, I hated not knowing things, especially since....
I pushed myself to sit up in his bed and found myself gawping at the surroundings, scrutinising them as I desperately tried to recall something, trying to see whether it would trigger something in my memory...anything.
From a gap in the dark curtains, I could see the slow buildup of sunrise evidenced by the awesome splashes of pinks oranges and purples across the sky as the night gave in to the day. Sid's room itself was like the inside of an old Victorian manor house. Everything was made of wood, the bed, the wardrobes and drawers...it was different to his previous house, not only the style but the way he had kept it. The lights were very dim and there wasn't really anything in it which suggested it was Sid's room rather just another regular one. No personal belongings, no toys, no photos...no colour. It was so ...dull.
As I heard the door open, I could only stare at Sid in silence as he walked slowly into the room carrying a small tray, waiting to ask my questions, knowing he was the only one with the answers, the only person who could help me fix the puzzle... but I was disappointed when I found he wanted answers too.
"Tumhari chot itni gehri nahi thi Shilpa, ki tum uski wajah se behosh hojao...had you treated it on time, it would have been fine...but you lost consciousness and and by the time I found you and brought you here you'd lost so much blood...kuch bhi ho sakta tha.."
I went over his words again and realised I pretty much had all my answers in a nutshell but where was Sid heading with his questions? The important part wasn't that I had lost consciousness but what happened after. Don't get me wrong of course the whole fainting thing was pretty big but I didn't intend on running into any more doors after this either......I was grateful he had helped me but sometimes I wished Sid wouldn't talk in riddles, my throbbing headache hadn't got better since my accident, rather it just seemed to be getting a whole lot worse...I acknowledged my mistake and fine I needed to take care of myself but I didn't need him to lecture me about it, what was done was done...
I realised Sid was waiting for me to say something...
I sighed, frustrated, "So what Sid, kuch hua to nahi na-"
He cut me off angrily, "That's not the point Shilpa..."
I rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders dramatically, "Ok so what is the point then? What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to tell me....tell me why you were so weak, why you were so...so frail that you managed to succumb to a wound which wouldn't have affected you at all had you been fit and healthy, had you been okay.."
I raised my eyebrows at him in disbelief, was he for real?! Since when wasn't I "fit", in fact last time I checked my diet was perfect according to my nutritionist and I was a regualar at the gym...wow this really was a new way to kick someone when they were down, I mean if he was indirectly calling me obese... I pursed my lips inviting him to try again before I became really insulted.
He closed his eyes and sighed long and hard, letting his head drop as he did so. I watched him patiently, he raised his head after a moment and gradually opened his eyes, " We both know why you fainted ..."
Again, not what I was expecting to hear, I felt my forehead crease.
Looking dead on into my eyes he added, "Why you haven't eaten anything all day, Shilpa?"
I blinked in surprise and looked away in the next split second.. I could feel myself blushing, actually "blushing" was an understatement. My past experiences told me that my cheeks had probably flushed to a very deep beetroot purple...how subtle..
It was at this point I had decided to taste the coffee, of course I had completely underestimated the time I had given it to "cool-down" thus, in fact, it had been scorching hot. My impatience was only due to his withering gaze as he watched me till I responded, it made me feel edgy but I couldn't answer the question and to ease my own discomfort, if it was my move to make, I would not talk but drink the scalding coffee instead.
Honestly, it burned though and I silently whined in pain and sympathy as I felt my tongue swell up..
My head was lowered as I heard, "Main tumse kuch pooch raha hoon, Shilpa.." from across the bed.
I didn't want to look up for many reasons; firstly, I didn't have the right answer to his question, secondly my eyes were watering from the burning sensation in my mouth and I probably looked even more ridiculous now with those "pink cheeks" too....and basically, I would have to lie to get past his question but I couldn't do that if I looked Sid in the eye...we both knew that.
Have you ever been in a situation where someone asks you a question and your brain automatically gives you the best answer to that question as you register it in your head? An answer you know is the right one else you wouldn't have come up with it...
It was the same situation I was going throught right now. Sid had asked me and automatically a thought had popped into my head; an answer to the question...but it's that very answer which had shocked me, frightened me. It may have been right but it was also inappropriate...one of those things which you might think but couldn't be disclosed; definitely unspeakable... I had dismissed it straight away, to say it meant some more misunderstandings. I was unsure of the meaning behind it all myself ...so how could I explain myself to Sid?
Have you ever been in a situation where you need to think of another, different, answer to someone's question and that first answer just won't go away??
No matter how much I tried to conjure even a basic sentence, any other excuse...my mind just wouldn't block out that first damned notion. It was as if I lost all my creativity and imagination in that second.
Come on, Come on....I thought to myself, This is Sid, you can tell him anything and he'll believe you....Just think of something for crying out loud! Anything!!...Just talk!..
I frowned in deliberation and bit on my lip nervously, "Sid...woh...actually main bhool gayi-"
"Jhoot mat bolo..."
I looked up at him in wonder yet feigned my puzzled expression instead, "Main jhoot kyun-"
"Shilpa...."
Oh no, he was looking into my eyes! It was like a reflex, I wanted to stop myself but he made me feel so guilty! I closed my eyes but I just saw his face there too, I could feel the words shaping in my mind, my mouth getting ready to say them, and I heard my own voice,
"Kyunki tum naraz the!"
I hesitantly peeked at Sid and witnessed his eyes widen, how he was taken aback by what I'd said and I regretted it instantly...we both stared at one another astonished.
Simulatenously, we both looked away and I felt the tension multiply a thousand times more in the room. It had been me alone at first, now Sid was contributing to it..
If I had a wall next to me right now I'd beat my head on it, Stupid Shilpa, Stupid Stupid Shilpa...That was a good point actually, I glanced up to the left of the room and was dejected to find that the the only door, the only escape route in the room was to the right in the furthest corner, just past where Sid's head was right now. So if I wanted to make a quick getaway I would have to move past Sid...I looked down towards my lap, from what I could feel there were atleast two thick layers on top of me and Sid sitting on the edge of the bed meant that he had completely blocked every possible chance I had of lifting the heavy load to release my legs and make a run for it....
Grrrr....I had no option....I would just have to wait for Sid to leave first.. God help me, he really wasn't the quickest person when it came to making snappy decisions...
I sat there mortified, counting down elephant seconds...
"I'm sorry..." he whispered.
I glanced up at him amazed, and without a doubt, it was me he was talking to...I frowned, "Kisliye?"
"Meri wajah se tumhe chot lagi"...
Instinctively, I reached up to my left eye and just as my fingers touched the plaster, I had a sudden flashback...
I saw Sid's face looming over me, and I realised I must have gained consciousness for a second whilst he was treating me. I remembered his concerned expression as he desperately warmed up my hands in his, the pain in his eyes when I whimpered as he dabbed at the bleeding with cotton wool...
I saw him looking at me now and my heart melted..a wet moisture soaked the corner of my eyes.
"Thank you" I breathed..."Kal raat ke liye"
He smiled, "Main is chot ke bare mein baat nahi kar raha hoon pagal...Well, maybe that too....but more my behaviour the other night, jo bhi maine tumse kaha....mujhe nahi kehna chahiye tha. I am..I'm sorry..."
I laughed through tears, " Ok and I'm sorry too, for leaving you and for everything else!" I pulled at my ears, "Dobara aisi ghalti nahi hogi.."
He chuckled and playfully hit my right hand, allowing me to drop the gesture, accepting the apology.
I beamed at him, everything was finally okay...
"So..." Sid rolled his eyes and I saw them lighten up as a thought came to him, "Tumhara favourite restaurant kaunsa hai?"
"Hello! 'Restaurant' " I mocked him, "Kam pe nahi jaana kya??"
He lowered his gaze miserably, "Shilpa, mujhe nahi lagta-"
I tutted, "O fo Sid, main hoon na! Don't worry...main Dhami Uncle ko samjha doongi, wo Dad ke dost hain... wo bauhaut ache hain..kuch nahi hoga..Ab to yeh silly si shakal mat banao" I smiled as I saw those same eyes fill with hope,
"But Shilpa-"
"But nothing!" I interrupted him, impatient, "Jitni jaldi jaayenge, utni jaldi baat hogi! Come on, we're late!" I moved quickly to get up but immediately regretted it and held my forehead as the room spun around me..
"Shilpa!" Sid grabbed a hold of my arms... "Tum teek ho na?"
I raised my head up at him, his face was a few inches away from mine. I blinked away, "I'm fine Sid, bas chakar aagaya tha"...
"Ok that's it. First, we're going to get some food in you....pata nahi kabse bhooki ghoom rahi ho, phir kaam aur tab Dr. Dhami se baat karlena.."
"Sid-"
"Nahi, mujhe aur kuch nahi sun na. Phele khanna and that's final" He pulled the duvet off and helped me up as I rested an arm on his shoulders.
After ambling forward a few steps, he pretended to struggle as we slowly made our way to the door, "God Shilpa, tumhe nahi lagta tum kuch zyaada bhari hogayi ho.."
I scowled and gritted my teeth but couldn't help the smile that broke across my face as I noticed him smirking at me. I lightly slapped his arm instead and watched as his childlike laughter filled the room...and in that very same moment, just like that I was temporarily blinded as I had been looking at Sid's side profile.
A radiant outline on the back of his hair, highlighting them to a soft brown forced me to look behind and observe the overwhelming rays of the sun penetrate those bleak curtains and lighten up the room...
I smiled, everything was perfect, beautiful, as if nature were rejoicing with us, happy now that we had found each other...
**************
Thank you for reading! Please do leave comments/criticisms! Lots of love and luck to you all!
XxX
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