Swasan FF : Zephyr vs Tempest ( Chapter 30; P-71) - Page 26

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Anahita_Leve thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: NitaReid

Chapter 13

Hi dyuti dear,

Okay two chapter in one day not bad I think.. I probably would have read chapter 14 as well.. But if I did then my comment will be more about that chapter then this one and It not fair.. This chapter deserves it separate comment because dyuti dear it was really so freaking awesome.. Well I never thought the escape plan would come this soon.. I loved swasan small fight.. And sanskar lines regarding you see half naked man every day was hilarious..You my dear friend is an good writer. The fight scene was penned down beautifully I could imagine it up.. Swara Vs ragini was awesome.. I can go on and on..Because this chapter was really so good dyuti dear . Typing from mobile once again.. Hence keeping it short.. Just know I really loved it.. Especially the thoughts you put to make everything logical.. I told you this before but I really appreciate the level of effort you take to make it logical..

Love

Nita



Dearest Nita 😊

I'm really touched you know! Sorry for late reply as my I couldn't login last night 😭

Really , it's so satisfying for me as a budding writer that you loved chapter 13 so much. As you know I post my entire FF from my Samsung E7, so took a glimpse at the chapter yesterday. And I was horrified to notice the silly grammatical mistakes in my phone version (true I corrected some while posting but still). Storywise it was a sharp turn from the usual slow pace ZvT had. Our protagonist was hibernated. .. Now he is wide awake...

I'm really happy you found the actions good. I imagined the scene before writing also did some reading prior penning them. The moves used here by Sanskar are used by US military and navy. just had to compose them accordingly

About the tiny Swasan scene? Well how I could leave them? But I think more finesse should have been carried in the dialogues.. Too bad I didn't check them. 😡

Welcome back as a reader. 😃

Love,
Dyuti
Anahita_Leve thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: NitaReid

Chapter 14

Well it was an dreamy one.. I really loved reading it.. After the way you ended it last time.. I didn't think we would have such an dreamy update.. So our guy managed to save his girl.. The kiss.. I loved it.. And the way they both are going to avoid it happened.. As always I get them.. Just don't appreciate it.. And I am sure it not the last we see of ragini or laksh.. So I know they are safe for just now.. Still it makes me happy to know that.. And the fact I still got two more updates to read makes me more happy.. Will catch up with it soon..


Love

Nita



Chapter 14 was meant to be a surprise. In my opinion it was the best time for Swasan's first kiss. I know it may look like suddenly it's happening a lot (both in the terms of action and romance) of things considering the previous chappies. It's Swasan time now. Some parts will be light hearted , and some would be dark. I really feel for you people. I can totally uunderstand the gaps between the updates. Writing a dark part is tiring.

Yes Raglak will reappear that I can say...

I can't say I'm good as a writer but yes, gained few lovely, ardently supportive readers Cum friends. I never anticipated when first time I posted the prologue you know! The latest few chapters are getting around 700-800 or more views. It feels good to know someone is watching your efforts. That's all matters

Love,
Dyuti
BlurredLines thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
Dear Dyuti,

Just so letting you know i think you have missed reading my comment in the previous page..Since you gotten around to reply back to my recents comments i thought you might not have seen it.


Love

Nita
Anahita_Leve thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: NitaReid

Dear dyuti,

I know I am very behind in catching up and I though I should let you know how much I liked it even if it is in few words for each chapter I get to read.. I know you updated till chapter 16 and I just read chapter 12 right now.. And I am kind of happy that I don't have to wait for the next update since you posted it already..


Coming to chapter 12.. I get ragini here.. Her anger, jealousy and pain all are reasonable and to an point understandable.. Laksh has fallen so deep that he is behaving stupidly.. Sanskaar over protectiveness how I loved it.. All I hope is ragini doesn't end up harming Swara.. Sanskaar is able to protect Swara from laksh.. All in all a great chapter.. I loved the analogies of why laksh is attracted to Swara.. And Swara is really lucky to have Sanskaar to keep her safe from the black wolves.. Will get back to you when I read the next chapter until then I this is me letting you know I loved chapter 12

Love

Nita



Dearest Nita,

I really missed this analysis as Gayu had posted just after you. It's great to have you giving reviews of old chapters... It helps me to understand my growth as a writer. About Laksh falling in love with Swara but not Ragini ... You see the Casanova or player type of guys usually fall for or marry naive & virgin girls... My analogy was born from that theory. You can say result of patriarchal society... Stong or crooked girls are not seen in a romantic way...

Analogies and metaphors... have kind of weak spot for them... So never miss a chance if something plays on my mind.
😊 I'd love to use some more for Swasan in upcoming chapters.. Already thought some of them... I wish I were an author; good enough to be quoted! 😃

Sorry for mistakenly skipping this one.

Love,
Dyuti
Rockingbhardwaj thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Teasing session was so awww and sweet Dyuti..

Oh God laksh kidnapped swara...
Don't worry dear, sanskar will be there to protect you..

Thanks
Anahita_Leve thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Rockingbhardwaj

Teasing session was so awww and sweet Dyuti..

Oh God laksh kidnapped swara...
Don't worry dear, sanskar will be there to protect you..

Thanks



Hi Mani,

Working on a crucial scene at the moment. I hope not to leave you disappointed.

Late reading ha?😊 Anyways thank you!

Love,
Dyuti
Anahita_Leve thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Posting in a hurry ... Here's the Chapter 17


CHAPTER 17


Inferno, was the prediction of the annihilation and suffering he was ready to unleash...


Inferno, was the map of the bottomless pit in her charred heart...


Inferno, was the mirror of blazing fire emanated from her fearless hazel orbs...

Inferno, was a curse of anguish and hellfire he was going through as his love was tormented ...


Thus inferno, was the chosen one;
If only one word was allowed to narrate the quartet ;
If only one stroke was allowed to illustrate the current picture ...



_____________________________


Laksh was burnt and ready to burn...That sharp pointed knife slightly scratched the creamy soft skin of Swara between the clavicles and horizontally above... Swara hissed in pain still taunted , " This is why I'd never feel for a sadist like you!"She felt drops of blood trickling down her throat as the lunatic man carved an injury resembling a neck chain over her nape, "Your so called love is nothing but a sick obsession, a desire to claim me as a possession... For you I'm a mere object without soul! You are... disgusting! " she spewed venom in her each and every words...


Laksh laughed bitterly, " Sorry about that darling! Had to leave a mark you know!You're so right! Sadism, obsession, possession and all.. They are all code words of dark love ..." He all on a sudden ripped the wedding chain off using the knife, which flew and fell on the floor, making Swara wince again. "Anyways, all old mementos have to retire... It's time to move on baby!"


"Leave my face!." She couldn't fathom why, losing the symbol of a marriage which had never happened, made lose her cool all of a sudden! Clenching her teeth she shouted , " I SAID LEAVE ME, YOU B**TARD!"


The satisfied and conniving smirk had wiped of Laksh's face, instead vitriol like furor spread over his entire being... He desiderated to break her, he pulled her close, prompting Swara to struggle vehemently and shriek.


Ragini couldn't watch anymore, she hastily started to leave... Her steps halted for a sevond hearing Swara's words, "Ragini, you're a girl too... Don't let him do this to me, please!"
Yet she almost ran out of the cave... Not caring about her leg ... leaving Swara in the hands of a devil...


__________________________________



Ragini didn't know what invoked her to flee from there... She was too irrevocably slipped in the quagmire to feel any remorse or empathy for anyone, ruefully she thought. Rather the green eyed monster had chased her away, as Laksh laid his hands on Swara... Tears stung her dark, black eyes as she rested herself on a rock...Within few moments her vision got clouded... She was too engrossed in her misery to sense someone's presence behind her, who knocked her head with the butt of a firearm, rendering her into darkness...


Two shadowy figures had appeared leaving the cover offered by the densely arrayed rosewood, banyan and cedar trees. The one who had hit Ragini with his Beretta M9A3 , whispered ,
" Sunny, see! There's light inside the cave!"


____________________________________



Sanskar's state had been similar to Prometheus for last two hours. Prometheus, in eternal punishment, was chained to a rock in the mountain of Khvamli, where an eagle daily fretted his liver for stealing fire for mankind... Here Sanskar's heart was being stabbed whenever Swara was in pain... whenever that son of b*tch was terrorizing her... His carefully laid attack plans went for a toss when Laksh laid his filthy hands on her. He rushed to reach the location that his team members had obtained from Laksh's tracking device. AK silenced Ragini as soon they found her.


Sanskar couldn't stay outside anymore as he heard Swara letting out a scream, louder than before, " AAHH!!SANSKAAAR!!!" He moved towards the cave as fast as he could.


" Go Sunny! Save your girl! Don't worry, I'll take care of the rest." AK assured as Sanskar glanced his friend while passing, having registered around five men strolling at a distance, without any care about what's going on inside.


Without wasting any time Sanskar entered the cave, where the sight before him whipped the quiescent monster in him to lash out...


Swara was writhing about in pain, her face contorted with repulsion and dread as she tried to move away her tear stricken face. Laksh held her arms, almost crushing them while attempting to kiss her forcefully on lips.


Like a wounded tiger Sanskar howled, "LAKSH!!!" He pounced on him, dragged him with inhuman force by holding his neck from back. Laksh attempted to fight back by hitting his elbow, predicting his move Sanskar in a blink twisted his arm backwards, resulting him to yell. Then Sanskar knocked his forehead several on the wall of the cave. Laksh was bleeding and started to feel dizzy. He still tried for a back kick with his right leg but missed as Sanskar had already released his neck,followed by jumping swiftly to the left side of enemy.


Sanskar brought his right knee forward and across his own chest, followed by swinging hip he extended his leg outward, striking his opponent with the outside edge of the foot. This left a massive blow in Laksh's waist. He fell on the ground on his face as he lost his balance.


"YOU SCOUNDREL! FILTHY SCUM! F**KIN' B**TARD!!!" Sanskar was not at all charming prince at this moment. He mercilessly kicked Laksh , all over his back; then kicked his waist like a football, tumbling and turning him . " HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HER? HOW DARE YOU?" He shouted furiously


Laksh stared at him and laughed like maniac, " What did you think? You'll stop me by marrying her?I don't give a DAMN! Sindoor, Mangalsutra, Shaadi... Yeh sab mere liye koi mayne nehi lagta! I challenge you Sanskar Oberoi, I'll anyhow complete whatever I've started today!"


The ticking bomb of wrath inside Sanskar exploded... He jumped on Laksh's chest with flexed knees, knocking him breathless with the momentum. The next thing Laksh felt was the barrel of Sig Pro pressed hard to his temple.


"Sanskar don't!" Swara whispered in a weak voice, "Don't do this!" This Sanskar was new to him.His eyes were bloodshot, veins throbbing in the temple , jaws clenched. He was not ready to budge.


"That beast doesn't deserve to live!"Sanskar said coldly, clutching Laksh's jaw...


____________________________________



AK added silencer in front of his Beretta M9A3 barrel. He distracted the Black wolves by throwing several stones at different directions and ambushed them. After 15 -20 minutes of sneaking and shooting all of them, he entered the cave. He found a tied up, traumatised Swara and an outraged Sanskar,ready to shoot heavily bruised and battered Laksh.


"Sunny stop! You can't kill him!" AK tried to warn him.That Laksh guy had a tracker inside him. Killing him now meant a huge drawback for their mission. Their seniors wouldn't like this at all.


" I don't care what happens to me!" Sanskar shouted, "I won't let him harm her anymore!"


AK hurriedly ran towards them, knocked Laksh senseless and dragged Sanskar away from him.


"Sanskar! Listen to me! Look at her! She is bleeding!" AK shaked Sanskar vigorously. "Right now you need to look after her."


Hearing his words, Sanskar rushed to Swara, untied her hands and feet. He held her as she was about to slump against the ground, placed her head on his lap. He was terrified to see her bleeding neck. "Swara! Your neck!"


She winced as she tried to smile, "They're only scratches!'I'm alright Sanskar! You saved me na! Let's go from here."


He was enraged beyond limits. "We'll leave, but NOT BEFORE KILLING THAT B**TARD !"


AK who had tied up Laksh in the meantime, rolled his eyes, watching his friends wrath was about to say something but stopped hearing Swara's voice.


"No Sanskar! I can't let you forget your priorities and responsibilities. You can't ruin what we've achieved so far!"


"He tried to dishonour you damn it! You talk about priorities? Nothing matters more than keeping you safe! If I could, I would've taken him in a concentration camp!"Sanskar sounded exasperated.


Swara lifted her hand to touch his shoulder,
" No Sanskar! I can't watch you fail at any cost! I don't want to be the reason of your defeat. Don't make me live in this guilt forever ... PLEASE! Maut bhi isse behtar hoga!"she whispered in a pleading voice.


"SWARA! DON'T EVER YOU REPEAT THOSE WORDS AGAIN!" Sanskar roared, "Okay FINE! We're leaving. AK, give him double dose of tranquilliser."AK did as he was told and left to bring the Black wolves' jeep near cave he had spotted earlier.


Fate really has her own crooked ways... No one can ever predict, what gift would come out their own Pandora's box. There was a time when Swara felt insulted and devastated by the thought of being a pawn in this convoluted game, to be precise by the thought of Sanskar considering her life less important than his mission. There was a time Sanskar had uttered, "Mere liye iss mission ki alawa kuch bhi maine nehi lagta... I'll not let anyone to come in my way... Not even you, Dr Swara Bose!"


Today Swara was ready to embrace the hell forever for the sake of his mission... She even coerced him to spare the monster who tried to rip her soul... and Sanskar... couldn't bear to see Swara's tears, her ache, her humiliation ... Her life, her soul, her security meant more than anything... Swara was his world, and for her, Sanskar was her sun, whom she never wanted to set...


_________________________________



Sanskar carried Swara in his arms and was going to leave the cave, when she exclaimed, "Wait Sanskar! Put me down here... No...don't ask me why..."Sanskar was going to refuse when she softly said, "Please!"


Her puppy eye look and pout compelled him to comply. She picked up something from the ground then tried to get up but felt weak. Sanskar clicked his tongue in irritation and carried her again. "What treasure you had to get there ha?"
Swara's cheeks were red, "Nothing.. mmm... Nothing ...I dropped my b-bracelet!"


Her flushed face and stammering made him suspicious. "Oh really! Must be very special one! Then show me !I'll get one for my mom."He arched his brow.


"Noo! I mean.. it's broken now. I'll show you later!"she tried to stall him.


Sanskar stopped abruptly "Don't try to act smart ! Show me! Or I'll happily shoot Laksh. Soch lo!" he pretended to threaten her, keeping a serious face.


Swara opened her fist quickly, not meeting his eyes. Sanskar was speechless, amazed and elated at the same time to see the wedding chain given by him in her hand, but became angry and worried to find it ripped and blood stained.


He walked fast and placed her carefully in the jeep AK had parked just outside the cave. "It would better kill that brute! Your neck... It's paining na?Let me check the glove compartment." Sanskar's voice was raged , later became tender. AK handed him the small first aid box silently, not disturbing their tender moment. Sanskar sat facing opposite her in the back of the jeep and was intently cleaning her wound,while Swara noticed something over his shoulder that made her eyes wide in dread...


"BANG!"


Sanskar was pushed to his side and fell from his seat. He looked back to see a wounded man who had gotten up from the ground with a gun pointed towards the open jeep with a trembling hand, and falling at the next moment as AK had fired back to back shots to finish his unfinished job and started the jeep.


Sanskar was startled as he found Swara's upper body in lying position tumbled over the backseat.He turned her only to see blood spluttering from a small hole on her shoulder.


"SWARA!"He screamed in agony holding her bleeding, unconscious figure.


He urged in trembling voice, "AK, drive faster! Swara ko goli lagi! She needs help!"
"Call the guys! Now! Don't lose hope Sunny! Uss ko kuch nehi hoga!"


Sanskar called this team, "SSR speaking! We need medical help! IT'S URGENT!...No! Send someone! She is shot damn it! She doesn't have time to travel all the way! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING! GOT IT? "He cut the line in frustration. He tried to stop the blood by applying pressure with bandages but still it didn't cease completely.


Sanskar felt defeated. "Yeh sab mere wajah se hua! I should be the one to protect her, not the other way round. Tu dekha na! Kaise woh mujhe bacha liya? I failed... I failed big time! Agar mere Swara ko kuch hua na... toh mein jeete jee mar jaunga!"


On the other hand AK was blaming himself but tried to be the rational one as he had to drive. He wanted to console him, "Trust me! Kuch nehi hoga usko! She's a fighter Sunny! Hey, look at me!" Ayaz looked at him through the rear view mirror, and was shocked...


" You're crying!!!"Ayaz had never seen his friend so vulnerable,his clothes were covered with Swara's blood, his eyes shot red with tear flowing down the cheek, clung to his love like she would escape if he loosened his hold... Droplets of tear touched her cheek as they fell down... She blinked, opened her eyes a little...Seeing his face she smiled as if she were in most ethereal bliss... and fainted again.


"Sunny! Here they're!"AK shouted,stopping the jeep, felt relieved to see their colleagues , for Sanskar who were angels in disguise... bringing in a ray of hope as a gift... amidst this long darkest night...



========================================
kojagorimalik thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Hey dyuti dii...
Kemni aacho????
The update was fantastic puro fatafati bepar .. ...
Sanskar is crying ...noo plzz save swara...I cannot see sanskar so vulnerable...
Laksh is an a** felt like kicking him straight out of this world...
Crazy ba****d...idiot...
AK is quite supportive to his friend sunny...
Aww loved their friendship and supporting nature...
Overall beautiful...
Love,
Moumita...
Phir_Mohabbat thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: iamreader



Dear Ri,

Hey Swara's fake name was Ria Yadav here! 😆 Wow Bengali? 2nd Bengali I met here after Moumita. I was born in Dhaka but have been living in Sylhet almost all my life. About writing, I'm repeating again this one is my first attempt apart from few Bengali poems in my MBBS 1st year... So the result is pretty much of amateur level... Hey why don't you post your drafts? I know our forum is very welcoming in this aspects, the girls encouraged everyone ( including me). Nynu keeps posting detailed analysis after every chapters in spite of her job and own FF ( forgotten memories- do read if you haven't yet. The detailing and research put there are mind blowing).

About not type casting, it's based on my personal belief that religion doesn't define terrorism... Then what would you tell about murderers and rapists? That's why Black wolves didn't get any surnames. As they're from India, hence the Hindi names. I really tried to avoid clichs. That's why my version of action hero don't have a dark past. He has a happy family and friends. He tries to woo the girl he likes by giving hints... But gets serious when his love is in danger. Also he's not perfect.He needs support in his weakness, currently Ayaz is doing that job.

Phew, analysed the character I myself penned down! 😆 I mean, who does that? See? I'm crazy too! About your draft of Swara being Trauma surgeon, I think we're soul sisters! I'm really curious to read it now. 😊

Love,
Dyuti

LMAO. OK the draft was not about SwaSan but FL was Riya Mukherjee😆😆 I did post once a story- zero research and very elaborate. Bas namka SwaSan it was it had all characters except them😆 stopped updating cause off screen+ lost interest in show. Perks of being too stalkerish in Twitter/Insta.
Nynna belongs to the Amazing writer group I have named, members are nynna saku and viji cause only these three I read😆 I read 1st chapter of FM, still the updates PM are unread *sorry N, will read pakka*. You don't seem amateur. I guess poetry gives one that depth and maturity. I was never into poems, it's not for me.

Na na I do that too. If we writers don't think like characters we can't write how they will react/talk in a specific situation.


Ooh coming to update *crude cursing alert*


LAKSHYA YOU MOTHERf**kER🤬🤢😡

Oh god I myself want to strangle his f**king throat argh! Kiss my foot! And Ragini go please jump off a cliff. Not only you are one horrible person who don't see anything except Lakshya but you are too coward to stay in same room when your love of life trying to bed another unwilling girl. Will ruin the precious image in your imaginary world, will it?🥱 Seriously f**k canon, Swara shouldn't forgive her. Even if she's sobbing pleading. I hated that forgiving mother Teresa side of her in show who turned blind to every horrible thing she ever did. Did Lucky shot Swara or someone from.Wolf gang during commotion? And how come Sanky arrived so fast? How far lucky set the camp from SwaSan village house? I am in love with Ayaz❤️ that danda in Rags head you go boy🥳👏😆 hopefully she will get her sanity back? Do I want her to? Maybe she should die/go to jail with lucky so that he realizes how devoted she is to him.


Next SwaSan hurt comfort scene. I am a sucker for protective Sanskaar update soon. And a Happy New Year🤗

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Posted: 8 years ago
omg that was amazing...Ragini is and will always be weak...just because of her jealousy, she left Swara in d hands of d devil...but wow Sanskaar came to save her...he should have killed Laksh...he just could not see his Swara in that condition...ahhh Swara was not willing to part with the mangalsutra...hehehehhehe...oh my...Swara is shot and Sanskaar is crying...I cannot bear to see Sanskaar cry...well if anybody had any doubts bout SwaSan feelings...its all cleared up now...they are both very much in love with each other and would do anything for each other...loved this update very much hun...thnx fr d pm!!

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