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SIMI

@simsen23

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Posted: 9 years ago

#391

Shruti...
This chapter 7 is simply wow 😊
i mean its shocking...
Princess ragini is very cunning..
Real princess snake is the perfect title for her
princess swara has feelings for sanskar..
But soon it will be more intense...
Take your time and update soon dear
lots of love
simi 😊

Edited by simsen23 - 9 years ago

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foresight

@foresight

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#392

res for 6 and 7

unres

chapter 6

I liked how you have portrayed the Ragini's plan and more importantly subtly shown how Ragini always had the mask on of what she is vs what she portrays. While she drugged swara, that was never the major plot. she knew that someone like Laksh would be more impacted if he believed swara was of loose moral character and prove to dalliance with other men. that would more likely make him call quits on the relationship and she played it in her own style in vague hints pushing him to draw the picture she wanted him to.

but fate can have different plan in mind. she bribed one of the guards ...i feel in a way showing her lack of planing at the same level as her soon to be adversary Sanskar. Her plans clashed with Sanskar's and that second part was a beauty. Ragini played her game, had all the pawns put in the right place, but then sanskar stepped in, with his concern over swara pushing his initial plans to the side. he couldnt see her being mistreated, he took care of the guard and then took care of swara so gently and with so much care. and swara felt it even in her drowsy state. what beautiful connection.

loved the last interaction with sanskar and ragini. she is out there trying to play games. he may not always see through her sinister plans initially, may be because of what he saw her as, but he still can exert his power. she sometimes forgets who he really is ...being a bit overconfident in her own plans and plotting. she gets small wins, before she is made to really who is really the boss

chapter 7

wow! what a twist. ragini tries to force sanskar's hand based on what he told her. and sanskar realises it the moment swara walks in. he realises what ragini has in store for swara and the extent to which she is willing to go. ragini underestimated the ability of sanskar to strategise, plan and think on his feet. he has been trained for this all his life, i don't think even her sinister mindset can stand tp make much impact.

what i liked in this one is again how you have shown the difference between the two princesses, both in terms of their water scene as well as their love of day and twilight. ragini's mask is further unveiled here and how beautifully. that is the real situation isn't it, she is not someone who is like the queen or thinks like one. she pretends to behave like one to not let anyone what she truly is and to reach her aspirations. swara on the other hand, despite her free spirited avatar is actually the true queen at heart...and then how could she be with the flippant and brattish prince who is never capable of being the king instead of the knight who was always destined to be.

i loved how you had sanskar turn the tables on ragini in the end. and even beautifully how you unveiled the reality of ragini with swara. through her own words and actions and look rather than anything sanskar said. swara would have never believed it unless she saw the harsh reality herself.

ragini has now raised the alarm. she is going to let everyone know for sure that sanskar wasnt mad and swara knew and they were having affair and in it together. i am so sure...and that is why they were spending time together. both branded as traitors now. laksh in his anger will marry ragini. the question is will AP, who sees herself closer to sanskar, trust him to be the traitor.

and even bigger question, who was the person who saw them and ragini. i don't think they will reveal it just yet, but i wonderful, may be wrongly if it is janaki. or is it a completely new character? will that person try to help them regularly in gaining entrance into the palace to investigate the truth and find the sword...or worse could this be the person who plotted against sanskar in the first place and will not have ragini as a unwitting ally, should they need her.

you are a wonderful writer and you have a way of conveying so many nuances subtly through your words. had fun reading both parts.

Edited by foresight - 9 years ago

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javeria

@Javeria3991

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#393

fantastic update and full of thrill.

I am eager to know about the person who was at the window.

can't wait to read more.

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APUDEEP

@Apudip

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#394

Hi shru! Remember me? I'm Aparna.

I have decided that I will comment at the end of this FF, but you have made it impossible for me to be silent. I can't wait to express my gratitude any more for writing this .It is presented very beautifully and it's grand style has really helped it's royal background. Unfolding of characters and their mindset is interesting to read. I am one of many fans you have garnered through your writings. Keep writing more .Bye 😊

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Shivani Priyam Kumar

@Meself

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#395

Chapter 4

So the most dreaded aspect of the story finally makes an appearance! This undoubtedly was the phase that forced every character to come into light. This light had forced everyone to shed their masks and be true to their soul calling. Lakshya in his fickleness set things to go about a chain reaction and it lead to righteous destination though after having crossed a disastrous and catastrophic turn. I remember once in our literature class my teacher had been discussing about character traits and he had said a very hard hitting truth that remains with me. A person can only be as dark as they have always been. Ragini was always this bad, pretending to be good while coiling with unquenched hatred in her. Sanskaar's plan and its execution only forced her to come to light showing the true material that is made of and of course it also showed the reservoir of strength and perseverance that Swara held within herself away from scrutinizing gazes of everyone. I loved, loved the transition that you have brought about in the key players as of now.

So Lakshya rants that he wishes to marry Swara and not Ragini and hell seems to break loose. As expected Rana Durga Prasad Maheswari is too taken by this docile yet strong Swara and wouldn't want to let her go. Barring Annapurna( which was predictable) everyone is rooting for a relationship that is but forbidden for she seems to belong to someone else that we readers are so aware of! *flips her hair* I am fabulous or what!!!

The unfolding of the later actions did not surprise me much but what did shock me was Annapurna chiding Rana Maheshwari. What was that veiled reference to women being the weakness of Maheshwari men? Was she talking about Sanskaar or big daddy Maheswari himself?? God you need to let this cat out of the bag soon!! So Annapurna sends for the Saamant's and like an ancient prophecy hell is slowly taking over the seemingly spring land. And Ragini today shows her true face, the one that was hidden from the world over. Why is she so full of venom is what I cannot understand? There are people who are indeed better than we can ever be, Swara is a personification of all things of the same order...why is it so difficult for her to actually agree to this fact?? So Janaki sets things right by cajoling Swara into a nuptial that she hates to begin with...hmm...and no one raises an alarm here...interesting again!

The ending note of the story where Janaki explains the curse of being a royal queen was something that really pulled me out of whatever hazy breeze I was caught in. Why am I still doubting Shramishtha is beyond me but I cannot see her as a all so noble soul here. Shramishtha didn't really protest the way a soul mother would. She grudgingly but gladly accepted the unfair treatment meted out to her soul child...I don't know Shruti but this doesn't really feel right. And that ending where you compare Janaki with Draupadi and Shramishtha with Subhadra...I am sorry I see more of Uloopi and Chitrangada here. Draupadi was Arjun's love and life while Uloopi and Chitrangada had to fight it out and finally accept each other not so happily. This equation is molding itself in the same manner. I am still holding my cards for Shramishtha. She has a dark streak hidden somewhere I tell you!

And Sanskaar is a massive player here...even though he might not govern the rules of the game at this moment, victory is his for he knows how to let the pawns make their move. He feeling sorry for a collateral damage but he is pushing that counter check to the funeral pyre nonetheless. All I can say is: GAME ON!!!

P.S. Wait for me to come up with 5,6 and 7!! Come on Shivi!!! You can do this!!!!

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Shuchi2013

@Shuchi2013

Beginner

Posted: 9 years ago

#396

Chapter 7 -you have left me wanting for more.Wow!!Sanskar-Dark knight in shining armour for Swara?Never expected this!!Awesomeness-a word for this chapter!!!

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Indrani

@indrani7495

Explorer

Posted: 9 years ago

#397

Hey shru dear... 🤗
thankew for d pms dear...cudnt comment on the previous chapters cz i hv been a bit bsy of late ...but i have read them all...
but chp 7 juz cudn stop myself from saying that it was marvellous...it was written with so much detail that i could imagine the whole scene being played out in front of my eyes...sanskar
ragini this vile woman how can someone hate her sister sooo much... 😒
but wanted to ask how did swara end up in sanskar's chambers...did ragini send her there deliberately ...by saying something??? n y did swara agree to go to sanskar's bed-chambers late in d night...she shudnt have after all that had commenced the day before how could she venture out on her own late in d night...!!! 😒
N in d last part sumone else other than the sister duo was looking at sanskar...was that sujata?

neway ...once again i would say wonderfull update...will wait eagerly for the next update!! 🤗

Edited by indrani7495 - 9 years ago

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#398

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum
Res 🤗 🤗

Un-Res

A lovely weekend gift this chapter 6 was. 😊 As I've been saying from the beginning of this SS, I love the way you've been taking events and tracks from the serial, and spinning them to fit the period you've set "Dark Knight" in.

So here we get to see Ragini, sly, cunning and really, really, evil, doing her utmost to tear away shallow, erratic Lakshya from the temporary thrall with which he currently views Swara. You have clearly etched both their character sketches, so very well, Shru dear.

Ragini, quiet, docile and submissive on the outside, but hiding a seething mass of rage and jealousy inside her. She is simply unrestrained by any filial bond whatsoever, as far as I can see, she just considers Swara a rival, to be eliminated by whatever means possible. And why do I get the niggling feeling, that its not just about slandering Swara in order to swerve Lakshya back to herself anymore. I got the very definite feeling that Ragini wants to cause actual harm to Swara, for its own sake, as well. Getting Lakshya back as her betrothed, and ultimately her husband is her primary goal, of course. But she seems to also want to take revenge against her sister, for always being better loved than her, for having put her in the shade, almost. Have I got that portrayal right?

Lakshya---words fail me. Juvenile, asinine, insecure and a whiny spoilt brat with entitlement issues! Why, Oh Why, can he never grow up? He wants to marry the Princess of his choice, but pray, when he is going to grow up and act worthy of the Prince he supposedly is?

Ragini has understood how to play him so well---and still she wants to get married to this guy? Seriously, love makes people go blind! She should be running for the Aravali Hills as fast as she can go, seeing just how gutless this guy is! 😆

BTW Shru, Ragini's manipulations were so chilling. She truly is an evil genius; I would have called her a female Chanakya, but that would be insulting to the stature of the Great Man, who, after all, would have found these tricks to be too vile.

The way she slyly hints at an episode from Swara's past; drops some innuendos about Sanskaar being more in possession of his senses than they suppose, as well as a potential suspicion of why Swara is closeted with him in the room for so long; and then that despicable hint about the soldiers hanging around outside Sanskaar's room in order to interact with Swara! 🤢

And the sly vixen, she does know how to sway shallow Lakshya with empty flattery. A fine horseman, indeed. Can you hear me snorting Shru? 😆 I sounded like one of those prize Marwari horses there!! 😉

That whole episode with the masked soldier sent to accost Swara and make it appear like a romantic clinch to Lakshya, was so evilly planned by Ragini---she really makes me wonder whether she could sink any lower; and the problem is, I know she will! 🤢 BTW that was a good twist to that mask episode we got during the kidnapping track! 😉

You gave a good portrayal of Swara too, here. She is just so devoted to her family, she just can't see beyond Ragini's officious protestations that she is happy that Swara should get engaged to Lakshya! As Sanskaar thinks, Swara is really too innocent and naive for her own good. She has tremendous depth to her character, of course, and I guess, reserves of strength and a hidden pathos which you would be revealing later. But perhaps because she was not acknowledged as a legitimate daughter early on in her life; and she is always conscious of her Janki Ma having made this big "sacrifice" by accepting Shomi and her as members of the household officially, she does seem completely, utterly devoted to preserving the unity of the family. Something Ragini doesn't even possess a tenth of!

So Swara thinks that Prince Sanskaar must have been a sight to behold in the days of his prime, as the hero of all the land, huh? 😉 I wanted to hug her tight and tell her, Don't worry Swara my dear...you'll soon have this hero all to yourself! 😳 She anyway seems to have been completely impressed with the tales of his valor of the past, what will her reaction be, I wonder, when she realizes he is the man to saved her?

I liked the fact that Sanskaar was genuinely concerned and fearful for Swara, during that sordid episode when she is accosted by the low life of a senior guard. He thought earlier that he could watch her impassively, even as she became collateral damage in his well laid plans. But he just couldn't could he? 😊 He does have a sound, good heart, beneath all that bitterness, and he just can't tolerate Swara coming to harm anymore. Two small, but deft touches Shru, which really moved me. One, Swara feeling that she could recognize his concerned eyes, even behind the mere slits in the mask he was wearing. And second, the fact that Sanskaar could not even bear the thought of the attacker's cloak, touching Swara as he lay her down safely. He set her down on his own cloak instead! Chivalry...Romance...Drama (in the best sense of the word)... Bring it on, I say!!

And i loved the tense, cerebral battle of wills between Sanskaar and Ragini. He knows precisely what ugly truths lurk behind that beauteous mask, and she is scared by his steely resolve, isn't she. I liked how he warned her away from harming Swara anymore (again, the essence of the plot from the serial, but amended to suit your plot), and said, crucially, that she'd already done enough to sway Lakshya away from Swara, back to herself. Here's where Ragini ideally ought to stay her hand, but I think she won't! 😡 She is scared, especially when she realizes Sanskaar had killed that corrupt, lecherous guard who seemed all too eager to assault Swara. But she still wants to strike at her sister further!

I am very curious too: Who is that person, powerfully placed within the palace, who Sanskaar says he will prevail upon to ensure Ragini takes her place as Lakshya's bride? Is it Sujata? Or even Annapurna? 😉 Do tell Shru, do tell!!

You answered my question from my last comment 😊 about whom Sanskaar was carrying a secret correspondence with. A true friend and loyalist, Pawan Kumar Jaiswal, eh? Name has a nice ring to it! So this man has become a renegade, a mercenary of sorts, with a small band of men loyal to Prince Sanskaar. They seem to lurking around the borders of the kingdom---and I guess Sanskaar is planning his escape to join them? And strike against whoever framed him in this plot, and find the missing map, key and sword again? I wish he would check Adarsh's chambers before he left!

But Shru---with him gone, what would happen to Swara? I don't for a minute think that Ragini is going to keep her promise. Is she going to frame Swara in some sordid plot, and Sanskaar would then have to come back to rescue her? Or would Sanskaar be compelled to take Swara along with him in his dash to freedom?

Can't wait---I do so hope you would be able to give us Chapter 7 before the weekend ends! 🤗

Viji sweetheart 🤗

We have ban on apologies and thanks so I can't go on about the lateness of this reply but hopefully the delivery of chapter 7 mitigates! I have read your reply to this chapter so many times, you picked up some little things I crafted with care and as ever our connect and your perspicacity proved solid and I was marvelling!

I feel really pleased you like my etching of not just Ragini, who we have discussed many times, but the harder to write Lakshya. As we have said in endless discussions, the more blander characters are so tricky to get down as how do you really colour them in without changing their essence? I know a lot of my readers are not Lakshya fans (neither am I) but as a writer there is the constant need to be fair and not neglect!

You are of course spot on re the portrayal of Ragini 👏👏👏- I cannot really say more as how to improve on perfection? Ha- actually you have got Lakshya down to a T as well 😆

I am so glad in an odd way that you find this Ragini chilling- I am sure Chapter 7 will further hopefully add to that. I wanted to bring out a way for her to frame/ discredit Swara without ridiculous magic drugs and also without being overly dramatic like making Swara dance madly in public. In those times, even subtle stains on a character would be enough no? And here, yes, she went much further than that but did it in a way that wasn't too obvious to Lakshya. Ah you liked the twist to the masking? I kept remembering Sanskaar masked and a villain but I didn't want him to be one here and also that was sort of Sanskaar's turning point in a way in the show when Swara berates him for not understanding that she loves someone.

Again, absolutely accurate re Swara- she is exactly like you summed up! And haha- I felt that she would have heard tales of the famous Prince especially as he was older than her and she would have gone through teens during his rise. You will have seen now that whilst he did save her and she knows who he is, at the moment she is unlikely to be simply impressed 😆.

There!! That bit about the cloak was so romantic for me- the idea that he already cannot bear her to be dirtied anymore by someone else and you I believe were the only one who specifically made reference although others did comment much on the romance and chivalry of that whole scene. And the bit about the eyes- they have this unspoken connect so thought it fitting, you will have seen that returns in chapter 7 to finish the angle off:)

How I wish I could tell you who that person is!! 😆. You'll be even more curious in Chapter 7- you gave two good guesses so let's see 😉.

Pawan is Shruti (Lannister's) crush already 😆. I keep warning her not to get too attached as in this everyone and anyone may not be what they seem! And yes, he is connected to Sanskaar's escape plans, I'll detail that in coming chapters.

And I already scrapped you about how you should take a bow! I m glad 7 is now out so I don't have that suspense to keep. And yes, he did take Swara along but hopefully it still happened in a way that was exciting to read:) Yukhti was the other to guess! I was thrilled you reserved so early on Chapter 7 and already said you liked it! Cannot wait for the detailed take!

Love you sis xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#399

Originally posted by: maaneetfan
Amazing Chapter 6 Shruti!! Not sure if I replied to chapter 5 or not but in case I didn't this is for both.

As promised, this one is definitely going in a different direction than the show and liking this one more! Ragini here isnt tht innocent turned vamp but truly the evil witch tht Sanskaar described! Such an evil mind and the horrible way she is plotting against her sister...but really is it Swara's fault laksh is attracted to her n not Ragini...but I think psychopaths like her don't think tht way and Sanskaar has understood what she is like. His revenge and hers differ a lot...and that's why he is out to protect Swara tho he has definitely developed a closer affection for her that he would like to accept which is reinforced when he meets her to accommodate Ragini's plans.

Was Sanskaar the one to kill tht guard? The guard who was killed was the same one Ragini sent??

Where is Sanskaar off to??

Thanks dear for keeping us hooked to this super awesome story!

Waiting for the next pm...lots of love n hugs
Tasneem

Tas honey xoxo

Lovely reply- thank you so much! Yes indeed, I want this to be different and hopefully keep interest in it for readers, right up till the end. Ragini here is already on that path and Sanskaar was only part of it- a catalyst in a way but due to chance and circumstance more than the mastermind he was in the show for this plot. Exactly- it isn't Swara's fault but her insecurity and hatred don't allow her to see and she has listened to the likes of her Maasi who have kept poisoning her.

Yes Sanskaar did kill that guard. First, he was angry and could not control himself, plus it was a message of sorts to Ragini and he simply did not want that lecher around Swara so justice was done. Chapter 7 will show you more of the escape and in 8 I'll start to unfold where the destination is:). So happy your enjoying this hon xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#400

Originally posted by: NitaMikealson
HI Shruti,

Read Chapter 6 and it was awesome, i loved it.👏 Ragini seems like a master manipulator and Lakshya remains the same. When will he ever smarten up 😆. Ragini plans are smart and it always find the one person she means it too, because he is not smart.

While in the Show Sanskar used to be a reluctant but active participant in the revenge and stopped at the right time, i like how in your SS, Sanskar doesnt want to do it at all, yes he wanted Lakshya to suffer but i love how this time all the plan are made by Ragini. He killed the Soldier and i am happy , he already started to care for Swara his mermaid princess, only if his dulhan dost listened to him , everything would be fine, but ofcourse she wont.

Do continue Soon , waiting for your next update.

Hey Nita! xoxo

So glad you liked Chapter 6 and you are totally right in the analysis of that chapter- it does do all the things you say it does:). Chapter 7 is posted and I do hope it will be an exciting read! Let me know! x

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