SwaSan TS: Karna Parva---Day 17-- COMPLETED - Page 8

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Posted: 9 years ago
#71

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum



Ok Shruti, done!! 😆 I will write this OS on SwaSan as new parents, with their little boy wrapping them around his tiny, chubby fingers 😊; after I finish the concluding part of Karna Parva--Day 17.

But I must warn you, you have asked me to make it as cliched as possible, so it will have zilch angst, no plot twists, precious little drama---just dollops and dollops of pecan nut crunch and caramel biscuit swirl ice cream (Haagen Dazs special!) 😛 Ok by you?

Also if you have any name suggestions for their little boy, please give me. I'd thought of Ved...or Vihaan...but am open to other names. Maybe starting with 'S'? 😊


You will?? Really?? OMG!!! 🤗 Thank you so much!!!😳


Yes make it as cliched as you can😆 This time I dont care for any plots. And I definitely want ZERO angst. Just pure unadulterated overflowing overwhelming drive me crazy love😆


Oh I suck at names but Vihaan sounds gorgeous. Or maybe we can call him Varun😆 😆 😆 Agar ladki hoti toh with S you can always name her Shruti 🤣

Oh God I have gone mental
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Posted: 9 years ago
#72

Originally posted by: tootiefrootie11

Res- am travelling back shortly Viji so will unreseve late but promise will do so for sure:) X

Unres:

🤗🤗 for both this beautiful piece of writing and for the kind dedicaton to me amongst others- touched and proud! Am typing in a daze due to lots of travelling and exhaustion but had to write my comments today so please bear with me if i talk rubbish 😆


Just the beginning set the tone. The significance of the sun and its importance in almost all cultures and mythology and then the description of sunrise was so beautiful. And then that SwaSan scene- sigghhh! It was like watching a dream unfold in front of you, truly evocative and poetic. It also just portrayed how that love will carry them through everything. They know they have to face darkness but their dawn has come so they can banish the gloom somehow in the end, together and united as they are. The resealed bond with the sindhoor is again special especially in this hour of need.

And then to Ram Prasad! I knew it! I was right huh? As I said in my comment on the last part, I so knew this wasn't about him but this Lakshman was actually guarding his Ram, who wasn't such a Ram after all!

Then we come to the Kaveri back story! Seriously, how freaky that we both see Kaveri so similarly. I don't mean in the finer details. But generally in terms of this alluring beauty whose scandalous background only adds to her attraction to a man somewhat trapped by overmuch respectability. I loved how you sketched her back story so effectively. As I said elsewhere, I don't otherwise get why a character would act such a way, but once does this way, positive or negative, a character starts to make perfect sense and the story is then made! Great little details and the touch with the father creating the festering ground for the sordid affair was really good! But of course the real hero of that whole section was Ram Prasad! We do have a fondness for him, as does Saku I know and I really admired his sketch here. The determination but implacable will, shrouded in the impassive mask he alway wears and the way he managed to defuse the disastrous affair and struck the eventual bargain, was heartwarming to read. Made you feel like you were reading of Sankaar's dad! Also explains how Lakshya is always the spoilt darling brat, even for someone as stern and fair as Durga Prasad.

As a writer, hats off for the next part and the way you tackled it. It sounds like an odd thing to say as on its face, its a simple part delving into the father son bonding and etching of a joint potential approach and then about Durga Prasad but I hope this will mean what I want it to? It's actually hard (well i think so anyway) to write this sort of scene with aplomb and boy did you do it (of course!). I loved how you reclaimed Durga Prasad- his remorse leapt off the page and seeing him fallen that way did arouse compassion and made forgiveness so much easier. The whole Sanskaar and Durga Prasad conversation and the evolving dynamics between them, showing how Sanskaar is truly the successor in this family without any doubt was lovely. What particularly made me glad was that you still brought the SwaSan bond in, with the husband rightly asking the wife if she was with him in his hardship and of course a wife like Swara fully and whole heartedly proving her love, which would always triumph over any material hardship.

And then the Ragini scene- oh dear deluded Ragini, she never does disappoint does she. So much potential but she always misuses it and her very malice makes her whole outlook and outcome constrained. I loved Swara's reply to her. Sanskaar is proved all that was worthy and admirable in Karna here but of course he isn't just that. There is a political acumen there more like Krishna's too and in studying the MB (currently reading Ramesh Menon's again), it always gave me pause for thought to think that if Karna had listened to Krishna like the Dark One asked him to, how different things would have been, but then again, it would not be that tale! Oh and the end- a cliff hanger, again, guesswork but we may see Lakshya earning his keep finally, being the only one whose blows could genuinely bring Ragini down in a way no one else's can?!

Overall, done as ever with your finesse and incredible skill. So loved reading and anxiously awaiting the next part!

Love you lot always xoxo






Shru my dear sis! 🤗 🤗

I would have said thanks a ton for this lovely, amazing comment...but then you'd kill me for saying thanks! So I'll just settle with dozens and dozens of jhappis! 😃

You are absolutely welcome about that dedication---you know how much I adore your comments and how much they motivate me.

I was so very happy to know you liked the beginning. That was to tie in with the the Karna theme in a way---Surya being obviously Karna's father. And the SwaSan scene...😳 ...well Shru, I just lost myself somewhere in dreamland when I wrote that.
☺️ I wanted so badly to give them some "couple time" as it were, full of tenderness and romance, away from the Maheshwari Mental Mansion!! Glad you liked it so much. And yes, that Sindhoor scene was meant to be an echo of the amazing Sanskaar's dream we saw in the serial; and also tied in with the ending of Dyuta Parva, where Swara fills her maang, gazing at Sanskaar's reflection in the dressing mirror at their room in Maheshwari house.

And you were bang on about Ram Prasad. 😊 He was being the loyal Lakshman to Durga Prasad's not-so-Ram. 😉

Seriously, I remember when I had posted Karna Parva--Day 16 and you had posted Rectified very shortly after (New Year's Day I think it was); we had this discussion about how our wonderfully our thoughts had matched regarding Kaveri, as regards the broad brushstrokes painting her nature.
Like you said, the details were quite different, but the broad setting 😊. It was just uncanny, we'd had our exchange of PMs and scraps but we'd not discussed this character---so it just goes to show our soul sis bond! 🤗 🤗

My conception of Kaveri here was as the daughter of an illcit union herself---but who has her father in her life. The said father (Devendra Oswal), however, is himself a highly unconventional character as you saw. Fairly flamboyant, and not having qualms in thinking of his daughter as mistress to his protege, whom he is very fond of, to boot. I wanted to show Durga Prasad struggling with his sense of honor, duty and values, but ultimately succumbing to that attraction and lust; to start a brief, sordid affair. He does feel an intense self loathing and disgust, but still isn't able to break free, until his brother intervenes to pull him back. I'm glad you liked the shades of grey I garbed Durga in here, Shru. I was a but apprehensive showing him in an extra marital affair, to be frank. But then my story called for that characterization, and I did make his remorse also fairly deep and genuine. Plus, the way he's been shown in the serial of late, with some pretty narrow and selfish decisions, he doesn't seem to be as venerable as what we thought he was, does he? 😕

I really wanted to focus on the depth and strength in Ram's character here. And you hit the nail on the head, Shru...he is Sanskaar's father after all---so I'm sure now, that Sanskaar has inherited his strength of character and purpose, quiet determination, loyalty and resolve from Ram Prasad. 😊

And my dear, dear Sis...you were the only one commenting so far, to have picked up that little nugget I had inserted hypothesizing that the reason Durga Prasad is so indulgent of Lucky, is his guilty conscience of having had a torrid affair when Annapurna was pregnant with Lakshya! Og God, I know I'm not allowed to say Thanks---but how can I help it here! I want to thank you for really picking up that nuance. You made me so happy, I was grinning when I read that part of your comment. 😊

And again, love you for that amazing comment on the "Father and Son, Brother and Brother" dynamic I'd tried to portray--first the interaction between Sanskaar and Ram, where they share a very warm father--son hug, going on to where they have that discussion with Durga Prasad, and then of course, Durga pleasing with Sanskaar to make that sacrifice to save him, and how Ram reacts to that. I did want to show Ram standing by Sanskaar, not wanting his son to be again called on to give up something the family has no right or claim over. As he rightly said, Sanskaar doesn't owe them that, at all. But Sanskaar, generous soul that he is, would never refuse a plea from his bade papa, though he knows well it is unfair and completely unjust to him. That was a bit of the Karna angle there---the generosity. And Ram warning his son against giving away something so precious to him, is kind of an analogy, as you would have guessed, to Surya warning Karna that Indra might try to trick him of his magical armor and earrings.

I guess Ragini is one more of those characters where you, I and Saku have similar views. We would like to see her as a cunning, formidable antagonist, using her wiles to vanquish whom she considers her enemies. But her poverty of thought is inherent there---she just thinks of the vanquishing, nothing more. what is to come after that? Victory ought to mean creating something of value, something of lasting beauty. All round destruction is never a victory, for who is happy in the end after all that? I wanted to show Swara giving her that clear rejoinder, confident in her and her husband's ability to rise from this temporary setback.

And again, a dozen jhappis to you for liking those number of SwaSan moments I had inserted through Part 2. Showing their complete understanding, trust and reliance on each other. Like you rightly said, Sanskaar fully knows that she will come with him to the very ends of this earth if necessary, but he does kind of ask. And she of course, tells him that there was absolutely no need for him to have even asked! 😉

Love you loads Shru...You made my day with this comment! 🤗 🤗






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Posted: 9 years ago
#73


You will?? Really?? OMG!!! 🤗 Thank you so much!!!😳


Yes make it as cliched as you can😆 This time I dont care for any plots. And I definitely want ZERO angst. Just pure unadulterated overflowing overwhelming drive me crazy love😆


Oh I suck at names but Vihaan sounds gorgeous. Or maybe we can call him Varun😆 😆 😆 Agar ladki hoti toh with S you can always name her Shruti 🤣

Oh God I have gone mental


Don't worry, I am also grinning like a maniac today after the wedding news. Even those "spoilers" that the wedding might be interrupted aren't bothering me! I feel in the marrow of my bones, that they are going to get married, with complete love, bliss and understanding.

I had already named their kids Shiv and Shruti in an earlier OS of mine (Their future together). It didn't feature the kids themselves, it was more of an OS revolving around SwaSan's blissful marriage in the future, and how happy they are when they realize Swara is pregnant. I just kind of ended by referring to the kids who would arrive several months later (Swara was pregnant with twins in that one 😆 😉).

I think I'll go with your suggestion and name the kiddo in this forthcoming OS Varun. Unless you feel Vihaan is better. You choose! I'll go by what you decide. 😊


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Posted: 9 years ago
#74

Originally posted by: RUQAIYA10

My Dearest Viji🤗

I take it you that you love the rising of the sun. No wonder you paint such majestic visuals of this daily phenomenon. But as the new day dawns so does the realization that there are still many battles to be fought and struggles to overcome. These battles seem less foreboding when you have someone who will walk with you until the very end. Much like Krishna was to Arjuna and Samwise Gamjee was to Frodo Baggins( Sorry Viji could not resist putting this in😆). Similarly Sanskar has Swara. She lets him fight the battle but is ever present when he needs her.

Thanks to you I have come to love Ram Prasad Maheshwari. At least here he has shown that he is capable of rising to the occasion when the situation demands. The way he exercised his control when confronting his Bhaisa and Devendra Oswal is admirable. I just loved the hug between the father and son. Such a sweet moment. Sanskar should be proud of his father.

I always had a soft spot for Durga Prasad and heck Viji I am all in for grey characters because I also believe that nobody is entirely good. No matter how much you think you know someone, the human character is such that it can surprise you any minute. The bad can suddenly turn good and vice versa. Every body has the tiniest bit of darkness in them. What matters is how you keep it in check and not let it rule over you. Like Gandalf said '' Its simple acts of kindness and love that keeps the darkness at bay'' ( Again could not resist!!)

DP's colorful past is not entirely unforgivable as in reality such things happen. What's disappointing is that instead of owning up and facing the consequences he is letting his loved ones make the sacrifice for the sake of preserving his image. Sanskar in true sense became Karna here. But like Karna he is also a formidable opponent and not one to be defeated easily. Ragini knows this and is predictably apprehensive

Thank you so much for the ever so sweet dedication Viji🤗. Can't wait for the last part😉



Ruqu my darling!! 🤗 🤗

You're absolutely welcome about the dedication, you know how much I love your comments and always look forward to them. They always motivate me a great deal.

And to add to my general love for your comments, this time you have included LOTR/ Hobbit references, which make me adore it even more! 😆

You got me there, Ruqu, I love watching and writing about sunrises and sunsets. But in this chapter, there was an analogy/ parallel to the Karna theme as well, since Surya is Karna's father...so tying up with that theme.

Thanks so much for saying you loved that opening sequence, and Sanskaar and Swara drawing strength from each other, reaffirming their love and absolute faith in each other.

I really did want to delve further into Ram's character, for I feel he has a lot more depth and strength than they show in the serial. He is Sanskaar's father after all! I would like to think Sanskaar has inherited his resolve, loyalty, strength of purpose and quiet determination from Ram.

I am so very glad you liked that father--son hug. I wanted to make that moment special, and your feedback reassured me that I'd managed to convey it the way I wanted to. Thanks dear. 🤗

And yes, Durga Prasad us garbed in grey here--not in black. As you said, these things sometimes happen. What he did was condemnable no doubt, he did succumb to Kaveri's allure and his own lust, for that sordid liaison. But equally, he does feel tremendous remorse, and what I wanted to show was, even during that affair, the self loathing and disgust he felt at not being able to resist.

But yes, where I also feel he falls really short is, that while he feels a lot of remorse, he does not want to hurt his image and standing before his family. He would rather have his nephew make that completely unreasonable sacrifice to protect him.

And Ruqu, I just L.O.V.E that quote you referred of Gandalf's: "
Its simple acts of kindness and love that keeps the darkness at bay''. So completely and utterly true!

You just made my afternoon with your comment darling! Love you loads!

----Viji

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Posted: 9 years ago
#75
@Viji: You've read Harry Potter!! OMGG, I'm a crazyyy fan of the same man!! I love it too much with Deathly allows being the most epic book I've ever read!
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Posted: 9 years ago
#76

Originally posted by: MusicAddict

@Viji: You've read Harry Potter!! OMGG, I'm a crazyyy fan of the same man!! I love it too much with Deathly allows being the most epic book I've ever read!



Sakshi my dear...🤗 🤗

I am a mad, mad fan of both the Harry Potter books (must have read them all a half dozen times each, at least!); and of the LOTR/ Hobbit movies. Some time back, when we luckily had 2 consecutive long weekends, I saw the 3 LOTR movies back to back on one long weekend; and 2 of the Hobbit movies back to back on another long weekend!

You like LOTR & Hobbit as well?

Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago
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Posted: 9 years ago
#77
Hi my dear pals...🤗 🤗
Thanks again for all the lovely and motivating comments for parts 1 and 2 of this TS. I've been truly touched and humbled by all the feedback. Love ya all 🤗

I was hoping to post part 3 tomorrow, but some commitments have come up, which make it likely I'll be able to post it on Monday. Please bear with me. Will update the soonest I can. 😊
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Posted: 9 years ago
#78

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum




Don't worry, I am also grinning like a maniac today after the wedding news. Even those "spoilers" that the wedding might be interrupted aren't bothering me! I feel in the marrow of my bones, that they are going to get married, with complete love, bliss and understanding.

I had already named their kids Shiv and Shruti in an earlier OS of mine (Their future together). It didn't feature the kids themselves, it was more of an OS revolving around SwaSan's blissful marriage in the future, and how happy they are when they realize Swara is pregnant. I just kind of ended by referring to the kids who would arrive several months later (Swara was pregnant with twins in that one 😆 😉).

I think I'll go with your suggestion and name the kiddo in this forthcoming OS Varun. Unless you feel Vihaan is better. You choose! I'll go by what you decide. 😊



I am not at all worried about the spoilers. I am sure the marriage will take place. And even if it doesnt I will still be OK because Kavita has left & SwaSan are back together. As long as these two are together the world seems fine😳


In which OS did they have kids??😲 Name please! I will check in your index. I might have missed it


If its my choice then Varun it is😳
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Posted: 9 years ago
#79

Originally posted by: The.Lannister


I am not at all worried about the spoilers. I am sure the marriage will take place. And even if it doesnt I will still be OK because Kavita has left & SwaSan are back together. As long as these two are together the world seems fine😳


In which OS did they have kids??😲 Name please! I will check in your index. I might have missed it


If its my choice then Varun it is😳


It was "Their Future Together ". 😊 I ended it with their happy discovery of Swara's pregnancy...with just a footnote saying that the twins would arrive to enrich their lives later...😊. Its on my index, read it when time permits. The girl twin's name was Shruti. 😆
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Posted: 9 years ago
#80

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum



As Remus Lupin tells Harry Potter, "Your instincts are good and nearly always right ".😆😉



Aah so Viji...it's a case of Great minds think alike!!!

I read your comment to another about loving the potter book and LOTR series...I am such a crazy fan tht I actually read all the potter books bfr watching the movies and all the 3 volumes of LOTR before watching the movies but in case of LOTR I'm a bigger fan of the movies and I was so grinning when I read u had done a LOTR weekend...reminded me of my pre-kids days when I could watch all the 3 movies back to back on a single day uninterrupted and munching only on snacks!!!

Sadly haven't watched the hobbit movies but read the book long back...what to do ... Since those have released I've been caring for my kids and barely have time to watch a mahaepisode of an hour at a go ... Hoping I can catch them all soon!

I was looking forward to the final part this weekend...now have to wait till Monday 😭

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