Res- am travelling back shortly Viji so will unreseve late but promise will do so for sure:) X
Unres:
🤗🤗 for both this beautiful piece of writing and for the kind dedicaton to me amongst others- touched and proud! Am typing in a daze due to lots of travelling and exhaustion but had to write my comments today so please bear with me if i talk rubbish 😆
Just the beginning set the tone. The significance of the sun and its importance in almost all cultures and mythology and then the description of sunrise was so beautiful. And then that SwaSan scene- sigghhh! It was like watching a dream unfold in front of you, truly evocative and poetic. It also just portrayed how that love will carry them through everything. They know they have to face darkness but their dawn has come so they can banish the gloom somehow in the end, together and united as they are. The resealed bond with the sindhoor is again special especially in this hour of need.
And then to Ram Prasad! I knew it! I was right huh? As I said in my comment on the last part, I so knew this wasn't about him but this Lakshman was actually guarding his Ram, who wasn't such a Ram after all!
Then we come to the Kaveri back story! Seriously, how freaky that we both see Kaveri so similarly. I don't mean in the finer details. But generally in terms of this alluring beauty whose scandalous background only adds to her attraction to a man somewhat trapped by overmuch respectability. I loved how you sketched her back story so effectively. As I said elsewhere, I don't otherwise get why a character would act such a way, but once does this way, positive or negative, a character starts to make perfect sense and the story is then made! Great little details and the touch with the father creating the festering ground for the sordid affair was really good! But of course the real hero of that whole section was Ram Prasad! We do have a fondness for him, as does Saku I know and I really admired his sketch here. The determination but implacable will, shrouded in the impassive mask he alway wears and the way he managed to defuse the disastrous affair and struck the eventual bargain, was heartwarming to read. Made you feel like you were reading of Sankaar's dad! Also explains how Lakshya is always the spoilt darling brat, even for someone as stern and fair as Durga Prasad.
As a writer, hats off for the next part and the way you tackled it. It sounds like an odd thing to say as on its face, its a simple part delving into the father son bonding and etching of a joint potential approach and then about Durga Prasad but I hope this will mean what I want it to? It's actually hard (well i think so anyway) to write this sort of scene with aplomb and boy did you do it (of course!). I loved how you reclaimed Durga Prasad- his remorse leapt off the page and seeing him fallen that way did arouse compassion and made forgiveness so much easier. The whole Sanskaar and Durga Prasad conversation and the evolving dynamics between them, showing how Sanskaar is truly the successor in this family without any doubt was lovely. What particularly made me glad was that you still brought the SwaSan bond in, with the husband rightly asking the wife if she was with him in his hardship and of course a wife like Swara fully and whole heartedly proving her love, which would always triumph over any material hardship.
And then the Ragini scene- oh dear deluded Ragini, she never does disappoint does she. So much potential but she always misuses it and her very malice makes her whole outlook and outcome constrained. I loved Swara's reply to her. Sanskaar is proved all that was worthy and admirable in Karna here but of course he isn't just that. There is a political acumen there more like Krishna's too and in studying the MB (currently reading Ramesh Menon's again), it always gave me pause for thought to think that if Karna had listened to Krishna like the Dark One asked him to, how different things would have been, but then again, it would not be that tale! Oh and the end- a cliff hanger, again, guesswork but we may see Lakshya earning his keep finally, being the only one whose blows could genuinely bring Ragini down in a way no one else's can?!
Overall, done as ever with your finesse and incredible skill. So loved reading and anxiously awaiting the next part!
Love you lot always xoxo
Edited by tootiefrootie11 - 9 years ago
