SwaSan OS: Dyuta Parva/ Karna Parva Day 16. - Page 20

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Nynaeve

Dear Viji,

A very lovely OS - there is a whole lot that I would love to say - but somehow am really unable to write the same. One word - that you used to describe Ragini - 'Schadenfreude' - that really was so appropriate!

The parallels are mindblowing (am not a great fan of the Mahabharatha) so the fact that I loved your story is purely due to the way you have written. The story would leave anybody feeling quite numinous!

Nyna


Hey Nyna. .🤗 🤗

Thanks so much for that lovely comment. 😊 Really felt so very glad to hear that you liked it so much.

Ragini as it stands now in the serial, really is being shown as a person deriving satisfaction from other's pain/ suffering. 😕

I am a huge fan of the Mahabharatha, must have read it dozens of times at least. So I really wanted to write this OS series drawing some analogies and parallels to this Grand epic.

Thanks again. Wish you and yours A Very Happy New Year. 🤗

----Viji


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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: maaneetfan

Superb Part dyuta Karna Viji...will reply in detail soon!


Hey Tasneem 🤗 🤗

Thanks so much. Happy to hear you liked it.

Wish you and yours A Very Happy New Year. 😊

Cheers

---Viji
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum


Hey Shruti...🤗 🤗

Will reply to your comment in detail from my lappie in a while. But in the meantime, yaar, please don't dissociate completely from the forum and the serial. 😕 I get what you mean about the current track...I am completely bugged with it too. But let's all create an alternate reality for SwaSan on the forum. 😊 I need more OS's like your recent two to tide me over the current trauma!

Thanks a ton for your most lovely comment...and I promise, there won't ever be a Kavita in my fics...apart from as a pleasant memory of a past love in Sanskaar's mind.

And as for Sanskaar. ..he is a man of many shades, a lot of intricate depth to his nature. 😊 It's no secret Shruti, I will tell you here itself Who from the Mahabharata he reminds me of. 😆

I feel Sanskaar is a blend of some traits of Shri Krishna, Karna and Arjuna.

Like Shri Krishna, for his perspective, his willingness to take difficult, even unpalatable decisions for the greater good, even at the cost of his own interests.

Like Arjuna, for his single minded dedication and focus. For being perhaps the best, the most skilled at what he does.

Like Karna, for his courage and loyalty. And for the fact that despite all his very considerable talents, he has always been somewhat taken for granted.

😊 I know you are a huge Mahabharata fan. So please do let me know your impressions of whom Sanskaar resembles. 😊


The forum has become so negative yaar! And then the current track🤢 I have something going on in my mind about Ragini atm. Let us see. If I am able to write something sensible with what ideas I have in mind I will post the OS tomorrow😳 You might be aware that after Sanskaar Ragini is my most fav character (not the show one, she is as dumb as the rest of them😆 but the one in my mind!)


Thank u for the promise 🤗 I am going to hold you to that😆

And yes I am a huge MBH fan so probably I just cannot compare Sanskaar to anyone. Yes Sunny is too good my hindi show standards & ofc I love him loads but nothing & no one can reach any of the MBH characters in my opinion. They are on a completely different level.


OK I dont remember if I ever gave you the link to my MBH works. If already given plz ignore. If not, here is the link. Please read my work if you too like MBH & leave your feedback 😳


http://archiveofourown.org/users/ALannister/works
Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago


Hey Shruti...🤗 🤗

Will reply to your comment in detail from my lappie in a while. But in the meantime, yaar, please don't dissociate completely from the forum and the serial. 😕 I get what you mean about the current track...I am completely bugged with it too. But let's all create an alternate reality for SwaSan on the forum. 😊 I need more OS's like your recent two to tide me over the current trauma!

Thanks a ton for your most lovely comment...and I promise, there won't ever be a Kavita in my fics...apart from as a pleasant memory of a past love in Sanskaar's mind.

And as for Sanskaar. ..he is a man of many shades, a lot of intricate depth to his nature. 😊 It's no secret Shruti, I will tell you here itself Who from the Mahabharata he reminds me of. 😆

I feel Sanskaar is a blend of some traits of Shri Krishna, Karna and Arjuna.

Like Shri Krishna, for his perspective, his willingness to take difficult, even unpalatable decisions for the greater good, even at the cost of his own interests.

Like Arjuna, for his single minded dedication and focus. For being perhaps the best, the most skilled at what he does.

Like Karna, for his courage and loyalty. And for the fact that despite all his very considerable talents, he has always been somewhat taken for granted.

😊 I know you are a huge Mahabharata fan. So please do let me know your impressions of whom Sanskaar resembles. 😊


The forum has become so negative yaar! And then the current track🤢 I have something going on in my mind about Ragini atm. Let us see. If I am able to write something sensible with what ideas I have in mind I will post the OS tomorrow😳 You might be aware that after Sanskaar Ragini is my most fav character (not the show one, she is as dumb as the rest of them😆 but the one in my mind!)


Thank u for the promise 🤗 I am going to hold you to that😆

And yes I am a huge MBH fan so probably I just cannot compare Sanskaar to anyone. Yes Sunny is too good my hindi show standards & ofc I love him loads but nothing & no one can reach any of the MBH characters in my opinion. They are on a completely different level.


OK I dont remember if I ever gave you the link to my MBH works. If already given plz ignore. If not, here is the link. Please read my work if you too like MBH & leave your feedback 😳


http://archiveofourown.org/users/ALannister/works

Thanks a ton for the link Shruti...no you hadn't given it to me before. 😊 Will read with great interest as soon as I get back home from vacation, the Mahabharat is just my absolutely favorite epic.

You must have read Devdutt Pattanaik's "Jaya"? If not, do get your hands on it. An amazing book. A retelling of the Mahabharat from a very contemporary perspective, including all of the lesser known tales from the epic which are often left out.

An OS on Ragini huh? 👍🏼 Fabulous, looking forward to that. I completely agree with you, she's a fascinating character. A pity they ruined her so thoroughly with this half baked malkin track.

They had a golden chance to redeem her gradually after the memory loss track (could have made it a genuine short term amnesia track)...or even after the kidnapping track. But they just frittered it away. If not redemption, at least they could have made her a formidable, wily antagonist. 😕


Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago
a_uma thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Happy new year to you Viji...🤗 .. and totally loved Karna Parva Day 16..


So, RP is the one being blackmailed by Kaveri and not DP.. very intriguing... don't think that he is the type to cheat on his wife... (Sanskar's father after all 😉 )... so he must be protecting DP .😕.

So happy to see swara & sanskar have come out of their MU.. and their growing closeness to each other... .. can't wait for the next update.. 😳

As for the Mahabharata analogy, I feel that sanskar's like Arjuna.. courageous, righteous and pure hearted.. deeply emotional about his family..

Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: a_uma

Happy new year to you Viji...🤗 .. and totally loved Karna Parva Day 16..


So, RP is the one being blackmailed by Kaveri and not DP.. very intriguing... don't think that he is the type to cheat on his wife... (Sanskar's father after all 😉 )... so he must be protecting DP .😕.

So happy to see swara & sanskar have come out of their MU.. and their growing closeness to each other... .. can't wait for the next update.. 😳

As for the Mahabharata analogy, I feel that sanskar's like Arjuna.. courageous, righteous and pure hearted.. deeply emotional about his family..


Hey Uma...🤗 🤗

Thanks so much, very glad you liked it.

There is more to the RP--Kaveri interaction than meets the eye...and your analysis certainly seems very sound. 😉

I thoroughly enjoyed writing Swara and Sanskaar's resolution of their MU and their complete reconciliation. 😳 I think we were discussing this before, I enjoy writing angst but also like it to be resolved fairly soon. 😊 I can't take too much pain and MU between a a pair I've got so emotionally invested in. 😆

I agree with you on Sanskaar having some traits of Arjuna. He was definitely one of the characters I had in mind, when I was drawing analogies for Sanskaar's character. Thar quality of single minded focus, concentration and dedication, is something deeply admirable in Sanskaar. And it is reminiscent of Arjuna.

I do feel some of his other characteristics are reminiscent of Shri Krishna and Karna as well.

Hope your New Year began well. 🤗 Wish you a marvelous 2016.

Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Sakura24

Viji dearest,

I was momentarily so mesmerized with the utter beauty of this part that I couldn't decide how best to comment on it. Now that I have finally caught my breath and a string of coherent thoughts I think I will attempt to make justice to a worthy reply.

I really appreciate your decision to keep Kavita off this one, it is so perfect without involving past shadows of that kind. This has the essence of Swaragini before the Kavita era. Now it is completely different in my opinion.

First of all, the way you portrayed Ragini here...as a python desperately searching for a hole to slide through and wrap herself around a pray...captivating. I like this quality of evil characters...the courage to battle through even in the far too lost battles.
So she finally stumbled upon gold huh?

I don't really know what your intention with Kaveri is, I myself am not clear where my opinions for her are resting at the moment. I really feel this woman has much more potential than she is radiating at the moment.

However coming back to this one...it's not Ram right? Since Durga Prasad was away I don't think we can just pick Ram as the culprit. However it was effective in breaking Sanskar's armor for the moment...well done Ragini!

My opinion is that Ram as a good younger brother (AS you described in the first part) is shielding Durga Prasad. I can be wrong,. but I don't think Ram is capable of such a deed.

Then coming to Sanskar...that was where I lost my breath. The utter perfection of conveying sheer pain is marvelous here. He is initially broken as to how his earlier thoughts and opinions of his father seems to be wrong and then...he fears if he has inherited some of those unfaithful genes...god, wonderful, wonderful!

Swara here, I adore her, she is the perfect partner to a warrior like Sanskar, the unyielding, warm and the perfect counterpiece in understanding. She is logical and her quick thinking I must mention. Nice job Swara...of holding on to your love.

The ending...I don't know where else it would have led, that was the ending demanded by the writing. Fire and ice in a nice coat of chocolaty writing...I really love the way you write romance Viji, you're a master in that, each word is a charm itself.

So, will wait for day 17 with battered breath, I know something wicked this way comes...but it would be totally mind blowing too.

Wish you a wonderful 2016 again dearest!



Hey Saku dearest..🤗 🤗

I was waiting till I got enough time on my lappie for a proper, comprehensive revert to your absolutely marvelous comment. 😊 Given our mutual fascination for Mahabharata analogies and parallels, I was so very keen to hear what you thought of this first update of Karna Parva. Was so very, very glad to hear that you liked it.

You know I find Ragini's character really fascinating. 😊 Frankly, I would have preferred if they had made a beginning towards gradually redeeming her. Either with the memory loss track (they could have shown her as genuinely having short term amnesia); or after the kidnapping track. But they frittered away both opportunities in the serial.

Having done that, I do wish they had made her a conniving, Machiavellian, formidable antagonist. 😊 I wanted to try to capture a bit of that essence in Ragini for this OS--and you are right, having been worsted by Sanskaar's relentless strategic parries, she has now (almost fortuitously) struck what she thinks is gold. Let's see what karat this gold is made of, shall we? 😉

I will reveal more of the Ram--Kaveri conversation and the background for it, in the next update, Saku. 😛 But I will say, to borrow a phrase which Remus Lupin tells Harry Potter "Your instincts are good and nearly always right". 😉

You really made my day by saying you loved Sanskaar's and Swara's portrayals here, darling. 🤗 I wanted to focus on Sanskaar's pain, the sheer trauma of seeing one of the pillars of his identity, his core beliefs, being apparently knocked down. That agony of his uncertainty---could he have inherited these condemnable traits---was meant to be an oblique reference to the slights Karna had to face about his paternity and breeding all his life.

Given our common fascination for this Great epic, I really wanted to discuss with you which character you think Sanskaar most resembles. Do let me know. 😊 For my part, I think he combines some of the traits of Karna, Arjuna as well as Shri Krishna.

Karna, for the fact of his loyalty and courage. And for the fact that despite his undeniable capabilities, he is always somewhat taken for granted.

Arjuna, for his traits of unwavering focus, discipline and dedication. And for being perhaps the best, the most skilled, at what he does.

And Shri Krishna, for his trait of being able to see the larger picture, having a keen sense of perspective. For being able to take difficult, even unpalatable decisions, for the greater good, even if hurting his own interests.

Do let me know your views, would love to discuss this with ya.

As for Swara's characterization---I wanted to stick to the portrayal the serial initially gave us for Swara. Of being a determined, courageous girl, who was empathetic and giving, no doubt, but was certainly not a doormat. She knew how to stand up for herself and her beliefs, and I wanted to show a Swara here, who was determined to stand by her man, to win his trust back, to assuage the hurt and insecurity which she had perhaps unknowingly inflicted. In my view, Swara is not really a Draupadi, but she combines aspects of Subhadra (who, when she was eloping with Arjuna, held the reins of the chariot to indicate it was she who chose him, not he who forced her!), and Chitrangada, the warrior queen from Manipur. Very formidable, courageous Ladies.

And the ending---😳 ☺️ Thanks for all your lovely words about that. I did want to show Swara and Sanskaar's complete reconciliation, their friendship had already been restored, and the trust was steadily flowing back from Sanskaar's side, given Swara's avowal of her love and faith through her actions. It just felt right, that this step would happen now. Once she had shown him how his worst fears were baseless, that it would have no impact on their relationship, her trust in him, whatsoever.

Thanks again Saku. 🤗 🤗 I've been bursting with joy at your comment for almost the last couple of days. 😊


Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Sree...

res

Wishing you and your family a very happy and prosperous new year, Viji🤗

Unreserved

This part deserved a well thought out comment and a reread was must before I came up with that.
Firstly, Thank you for such an amazing gift on the new year. You sure made a good start to my year.

I had almost finished typing out the complete comment, when my chrome crashed and so please bare with me if this isn't so good.

Part 1
I loved the gardening scene, reminded me of happy SwaSan moments of the serial. What I loved the most was how preoccupied Sanskar was in Swara's thoughts and how you have built her character. Perfectly showing her deep feeling but not being imposing at the same time.

Ragini's reaction had me laughing. Serves her right. I won't delve into the legalities that you incorporated but it Swara's reactions what I loved, first the silent ones and then the one right in Ragini's face.

Part 2

You construct a scene with so much of love and care that it can be perfectly imagined in my mind. The evident unease and thick tension was beautifully expressed and how Swara and Sanskar caught on about Ram Prasad's interaction and tension.

I don't know how you are going to bring in Kaveri's character but I'm sure it is going to be interesting.

Both Snaskar and stole my heart in this part. The initial part where Swara tried to talk to his and Sanskar asked to be left alone. Swara's pain for Sanskar through his absence was beautifully written.

SwaSan scene in the farmhouse was beautifully worded as well. I loved how Swara insisted that she be there even if Sanskar wasn't in a mood to share things with her. Teras filled my eyes when sanskar started talking. His doubts about himself and how Swara reassured him😳 Then their sadness and emotion giving way to passion was such a beautiful and smooth transition. Both needed and wanted by fans like me. Their initial trepidation and finally just giving in to each other. WOW

Finally they forgot all about their dinner😆

I was planning to kill you for stopping there but then realised I would never get the next part so I'm going to let you live.😆😆

Can't wait. Happy New Year once again

Lots of love
Sree




Hey Sree...🤗 🤗

Thanks so much for that lovely comment dear, and am so touched that you took the time to re type the whole thing after your browser crashed.

Was very glad you liked that gardening scene. I think that hobby actually reflects a lot of Sanskaar's traits---his dedication, his patience, his willingness to nurture something precious and enable it to grow...

I did want to show the steady rapprochement between Sanskaar and Swara, the restoration of his trust in her feelings. And like you correctly said, I wanted to show Swara reassuring him through her actions; with her steady, unwavering affection and concern for him. I wanted to show their friendship being restored first, before moving on to their mutual love and passion.

Ragini 😛 Well, I think of her as a very Machiavellian, conniving and formidable antagonist. But after all, she is up against Sanskaar--her ex guru as far as plotting is concerned. 😆 He has considerable persepctive, a strategic plan of action, and for want of a better word--wisdom, which cannot be trumped or even matched, by plain cunning.

I would think Sanskaar can run circles around Ragini and her hired minions with his brilliant planning. And when Ragini tries to aim barbs at his psyche, insinuating how the family has never, really, valued him or indulged him as much as the other sons, well then, Swara is there to give her a verbal thrashing of her own! 😉 She is certainly a sherni, our Swara. Knows how to protect the person most important to her!

Coming to part 2, you're right Sree, there is more than meets the eye, to the Ram--Kaveri conversation. 😃 Will reveal more in the next part, which I am furiously working to complete!

Thanks for all those wonderfully warm compliments about the Sanskaar---Swara interaction, in part 2--both with her obvious concern for his feelings after they initially overhear that stunning conversation; and later in the farmhouse, where their pain and grief gives way to a deep mutual tenderness and love.

I was so very happy you liked it Sree, this part was emotional and intense, and it was a pleasure to write, despite being some hard work. Was just very glad that you liked reading it, felt assured that it had come across the way I wanted it to. 🤗 🤗

And you're right dear, they certainly forgot all about the dinner, at least initially. Maybe they woke up for a post midnight snack, well I leave that to your imagination! 😳

Arre don't kill me Darling. I promise I'm working on the concluding part, if I hadn't been on vacation, would have updated the whole thing at one go. Its difficult convincing one's family why one is spending so much time on IF while on holiday! 😆 😆

Wish you and yours a Very Happy New Year again, Sree! Hope 2016 brings you much joy, love, peace and prosperity.




Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago
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Posted: 9 years ago
Viji,
Beautifully written sequel.! The SwaSan scene in the beginning with Ragini's jealous thoughts, the SwaSan and Ragini confrontation, the arrival of a guest -Kaveri, Ragini-Kaveri first meeting, RP's reaction, RP-Kaveri confrontation, Sanskaar's emotional turmoil leading smoothly towards SwaSan passion filled romance. It was so well written and then I scrolled down for more and zilch.! I did not want to stop reading. That was some really intense and emotional update.! Really loved it.

Eagerly awaiting another update. :)

-V

P.S.: Happy New Year.! :)
Sakura24 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum



Hey Saku dearest..🤗 🤗

I was waiting till I got enough time on my lappie for a proper, comprehensive revert to your absolutely marvelous comment. 😊 Given our mutual fascination for Mahabharata analogies and parallels, I was so very keen to hear what you thought of this first update of Karna Parva. Was so very, very glad to hear that you liked it.

You know I find Ragini's character really fascinating. 😊 Frankly, I would have preferred if they had made a beginning towards gradually redeeming her. Either with the memory loss track (they could have shown her as genuinely having short term amnesia); or after the kidnapping track. But they frittered away both opportunities in the serial.

Having done that, I do wish they had made her a conniving, Machiavellian, formidable antagonist. 😊 I wanted to try to capture a bit of that essence in Ragini for this OS--and you are right, having been worsted by Sanskaar's relentless strategic parries, she has now (almost fortuitously) struck what she thinks is gold. Let's see what karat this gold is made of, shall we? 😉

I will reveal more of the Ram--Kaveri conversation and the background for it, in the next update, Saku. 😛 But I will say, to borrow a phrase which Remus Lupin tells Harry Potter "Your instincts are good and nearly always right". 😉

You really made my day by saying you loved Sanskaar's and Swara's portrayals here, darling. 🤗 I wanted to focus on Sanskaar's pain, the sheer trauma of seeing one of the pillars of his identity, his core beliefs, being apparently knocked down. That agony of his uncertainty---could he have inherited these condemnable traits---was meant to be an oblique reference to the slights Karna had to face about his paternity and breeding all his life.

Given our common fascination for this Great epic, I really wanted to discuss with you which character you think Sanskaar most resembles. Do let me know. 😊 For my part, I think he combines some of the traits of Karna, Arjuna as well as Shri Krishna.

Karna, for the fact of his loyalty and courage. And for the fact that despite his undeniable capabilities, he is always somewhat taken for granted.

Arjuna, for his traits of unwavering focus, discipline and dedication. And for being perhaps the best, the most skilled, at what he does.

And Shri Krishna, for his trait of being able to see the larger picture, having a keen sense of perspective. For being able to take difficult, even unpalatable decisions, for the greater good, even if hurting his own interests.

Do let me know your views, would love to discuss this with ya.

As for Swara's characterization---I wanted to stick to the portrayal the serial initially gave us for Swara. Of being a determined, courageous girl, who was empathetic and giving, no doubt, but was certainly not a doormat. She knew how to stand up for herself and her beliefs, and I wanted to show a Swara here, who was determined to stand by her man, to win his trust back, to assuage the hurt and insecurity which she had perhaps unknowingly inflicted. In my view, Swara is not really a Draupadi, but she combines aspects of Subhadra (who, when she was eloping with Arjuna, held the reins of the chariot to indicate it was she who chose him, not he who forced her!), and Chitrangada, the warrior queen from Manipur. Very formidable, courageous Ladies.

And the ending---😳 ☺️ Thanks for all your lovely words about that. I did want to show Swara and Sanskaar's complete reconciliation, their friendship had already been restored, and the trust was steadily flowing back from Sanskaar's side, given Swara's avowal of her love and faith through her actions. It just felt right, that this step would happen now. Once she had shown him how his worst fears were baseless, that it would have no impact on their relationship, her trust in him, whatsoever.

Thanks again Saku. 🤗 🤗 I've been bursting with joy at your comment for almost the last couple of days. 😊


Hi again Viji dear,

Since I wanted to discuss our mutual fascinations in a better long note I had delayed replying to this one, forgive me, I wanted to come home and find some free time to write a long reply here.

I had initially wanted Ragini redeemed too, as in the earlier days of the show Ragini had captured much of my attention, she was a character with so much potential...but as I saw that hope flatted I had turned towards seeing her as a cold, icy villain only to be disappointed again.

That's why I so enjoyed the Ragini you've portrayed here. She had stepped out of my dreams for her!

I enjoy the concept of gray shades too much, not that I admire evil, but the brainy and cunning villains sort of thrills me. So you can see how much I wanted Ragini to be much more dangerous than what she is in the show at the moment.

Coming to Mahabharat. Your thoughts I completely agree with. In fact I've seen so many touches of Mahabharat within the Maheshwari family, their entangled pasts, behaviors and relationships.

As you see Sanskar a combination of Karna, Arjuna and Sri Krishna, I see the same characters taking in turn to flash themselves out of him. It also has a certain string connected to the way they build up the inter-relationships of the characters.

As I have touched upon the winter series, Sanskar becomes Arjuna for Durga Prasad's Drona (Being the ideal son of a certain past), or Bhishma, he becomes Karna to Bhisma again (by Durga Prasad's certain choices that almost outcasts Sanskar) or at a time to Drona (I'm referring to his considerable partiality towards Lakshya here.) Then again Sanskar has a tiny fault on his side, of loving someone not accepted by his family and Durga Prasad being the lord Parshuram on the incident curses him in to utter destruction!

I have seen the Sri Krishna side of him mostly in the missions he involved for Swara, the planing, the wit and as you said the correct guidance he offered due to his perceptiveness certainly marks as a Krishna route to Swara's Arjuna role at that point.

As you have said, I've never envisioned Swara as Draupadi either. She is not that, but on some notes Subhara and Chitrangada can be paralleled with her. Going by the current one on the show, I guess Yudishtira's female version is also apt somewhere. Trying to do the greater good even at the cost of all one has...is that kind of a quality...good but utterly self traumatizing too.

Oh, had you read the frost knight completely when you posted this. You would have known how much I agree on Sanskar's pain, and his self fear with your portrayal. You know SQ has left him with some of the same insecurities...

you're right about the ending, it was needed, the most natural at the way things proceeded. And I did enjoy it a lot!


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