SwaSan TS: 'Old Sins Cast Long Shadows'

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DarkPhoenix93

@DarkPhoenix93

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

#61

You had me speechless as always and you had me at the edge of my seat until the end! I was reading it on my tab instead of listening to my teacher!

I did not guess it was Lakshya until I reached the third part. You built up the suspense really well.

Your description of the weather at the start was beautiful. I could actually imagine it!

My fav part is obviously the second part when Swara finally gives in to her feelings and SwaSan become one. I loved how the tension in the house made them come closer together. I think that this is what will happen in the show too. The adverse forces will bond SwaSan together!

I loved this TS! Awesome work!

BTW what happened to the SS you mentioned in one of your comments in your previous work? The one that diverges from the show after the Sindhoor scene? Will we get to read it soon?

I can't wait to read your next fic!

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Anya

@Three.Broomstic

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#62

hi Viji ,

I loved your TS...read it in morning actually before leaving for college and forgot to comment later...anyways

I loved the combination suspense and romance. It was a TS but everything was flowing so gradually. Their emotions were laid out so beautifully and at the same time the suspense was building right from the start. I was sure it was between laksh and AP

You are attempting this genre for the first time wow! You nailed it...You are so goood

xoxoxo,

Anya

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GrilledCheese

@GrilledCheese

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

#63

Amazingly written story!! You have a wonderful way with words...its always a pleasure reading what you write! Do keep writing!! And thanks for the pm...

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#64

Originally posted by: Allyson
Wonderful short story dear!

Thanks Allyson 😊

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#65

Originally posted by: -GrilledCheese-
Amazingly written story!! You have a wonderful way with words...its always a pleasure reading what you write! Do keep writing!! And thanks for the pm...

Thanks dear for that lovely comment. 😊 Very glad you liked it.

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kaku17

@kaku17

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#66

Phew...you took me by surprise ( though I should not have been 😆 )...what a scintillating story ⭐️...I must admit I love mystery more than romance and when these two genres are clubbed together its a win win for me...😛

Loved the way the story unfolds...and though I am one of the many people who suspect AP to be the one behind kavi's death in the show...I must say I did a double take when it turned out to be lakshya...I shuddered at the description...gosh I am terribly scared of psychopaths 😭...the simmering hatred which he concealed for so many years for his bhai...the thought with chilling conciseness that he would make his bhai rot in hellfire which he has been doing since childhood...😲...omg I was dead figuratively and scared .out of my wits ...

Now I think it would be so out of box to eventually prove lux as a pschyco instead of rags in the show also...it would surprise the hell out of everyone...ragi and yucky are definitely made for each other...t

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#67

Originally posted by: samiya.059
unresd on page 1

Samiya my dear friend...your comment had me over the moon. 🤗I am just waiting till I get to my laptop before replying on your wonderful, magical, lovely comment.

Thanks dear. 😊

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#68

Originally posted by: maaneetfan
Amazing. ...as captivating as hair raising. ...simply mind blowing

Thanks dear. Glad you liked it. 😊

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rithika2012

@rithika2012

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

#69

hi viji,

a big tight hug to u dear for this wonderful piece of writing🤗

i just loved the whole 3s to bits.. u really maintained the suspense very well and it never like u were new to this genre. i enjoyed the whole story and the suspense really thrilled me.. i could really imagine all those scenes and that is the impact ur writing had on me.

i just loved the way u continued ur connection of AP background from ur previous works. finally swara had developed feelings for him and i really loved the way u describe her feelings for him.

i really loved the whole scene where sanskaar punches lux and swara scolds him. for me it was like swara was in her full wifey mode and scolded sanskaar as this what usually any wife does when her husband enters into a fight. i loved the way u described her feelings when he left her and the way sansku realised that what ever she did was for his sake. so finally the epic pillow wall was collapsed for ever and ever.😳

i just loved how sanskaar gave her all instructions when is going to be out on a trip and those weapons 😉 needed for her safety. hayee.. such a protective hubby.. i hope i get a husband like him and swara like acchi biwi followed his instructions.

i just loved the way u knitted the whole plot. the letters in sanskaar's writings then the call , then swara sensing that some was eyeing her then to the letters in swara's hand writing and finally the person who planned this was in front of her. i must admit i never thought that it would be lux and it was surprise for me.

swara was clever enough to understand his plot by keeping 2 and 2 together. was just spell bound by the way u established a connection between their childhood habits of doing homework and mimicing others.to presnt scenerio.

swara was smart enough and waited for the oppurtuinity to attack lux and she did that when she got the moment and saved herself. i was really relived when i read sanskaar was outside with police and the way he knew the whole something wrong happening with his wife and the way he reached there. i can say that even cv's could have never show us something so clearly without a blooper like the way u wrote the whole scenario. 👏👏👏 kudos to u for that dear.

finally kavita and laksh got proper closure and now its time for swara and sanskaar to face some troubles with the family but im sure they will emerge stronger.

sorry for such long rant but kya kare couldnot stop myself from posting what all i liked in it.. i read this in late night and went to sleep only thinking about it.. u are such a gifter writer viji.. please do write more..

thanks for the pm..and keep writing...

Edited by rithika2012 - 10 years ago

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#70

Originally posted by: samiya.059
OMG..!!!Viji you have out done yourself with this one
I seriously have no words to praise this one..you said u were nervous at attempting this genre...you shouldnt b my friend. ..You nailed it.
The moment I realized that it was going to b mystery...I put my Watson hat on!! but poor me I was expecting annapoorna to b the mastermind of this game.
The opening set a environment of a mystery and secrecy.
The opening was a perfect start giving a Gud warm up for a roller costar ride.
The swason parts were so beautifully written.Their emotions,fears,insecurities,and care blended into words were perfect.The "all is well" but "something amiss" feeling came instantly..You are hugely talented Viiji
The mystery part was just phenomenol .I truely couldnt comprehend that this whole could be Lucky doing.I think I underestimated him..considering how much spineless he is!
I too feel there is someone among the MM clan who is responsible for kavita's murder...I am so glad you exploired this .
You provided hints from the start that Lucky is the one...but I wasn't too clever to connect the dots.
The last part where sanskaar was mourning for kavita and attaining support from swara was superb.
Sanskaar is a wise person...I won't call him intelligent...there is a huge difference btw the two.Glad that he sensed the danger and arranged for security of his beloved
I want to write so much to praise this masterpiece of urs Viji...but believe me am short of words.You are a writer of great caliber...do write more..its a request
The Zero hour n sense n sensiblilty are now on my list..
Was reading a poem..and it so aptly describes sanskaar
Of our relationship, what should I say?
In the language of love nowhere is it inscribed.
Much has been written of love's joys and pains
But my state of mind has never been
described.
This love, where absence and presence
entwine,
This pain, an old friend, which since years is
mine,
A love that I've concealed from all and so
apart,
An age has gone since I pressed it to my heart.
_

Samiya, my very dear pal...🤗 🤗 Thanks very much for this absolutely lovely comment. I was smiling so wide when I read it on my phone, if there was a smiling competition going on at that moment, I have no doubts I would have won the cup without any trouble! 😳

Cross my heart, there are two motivating factors making me write as much as I am doing on this forum. One of course, is SwaSan-- a truly magical on screen couple. And another, is the warm encouragement from friends like you. Thanks for that. 🤗

Am very glad you liked the suspense aspect, as well as the SwaSan relationship aspect of this TS. That made me feel reassured, that I'd got this genre fairly right. I did try to throw some suspicion on AP and Sujju as well, just as a red herring! 😉 And then of course some clues pointing to Lucky.

I just loved, loved, loved the poem you quoted. Who is it by? I have noticed that you refer a lot of poetry in your comments. Do you write poetry as well? If so, you should consider writing a few on SwaSan and sharing it on the forum. We would love to read it.

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SwaSan TS: 'Old Sins Cast Long Shadows' - Page 7

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