Crime and mystery is my second fav genre followed by medical fiction. You successfully managed to inculcate both.
Your writing is absolutely enthralling. Your manipulation of the language is so artful that it makes the abstract very concrete for me. Hence your writing eggs the visions even more powerfully.
I loved the plot as a whole. Swara and Sanskar's bonding is something that has immense depth and flexibility that it can be twisted to fit any genre.
If this is your first trial of this genre than its a very good effort.
However perhaps its the result of too much exposure to this genre I seemed to expect Lakshya. The moment Sanskar said about Lakshya imitating DP, it started giving me gut feelings.
Another thing is the Lakshya and Swara confrontation. He harped on how he loved Kavita nd killed her but the aspect of his and Swara's relationship was touched very slightly. I would loved a glimpsed to how his broken mind had reacted to Swara's apparent "betrayal". He is a psychopath and rationality is not his strong point. So I wish you had focused on that point a bit.
Sanskar is as much as intelligent and able minded as I had expected. So good work on the character out there.
I liked Sujatha and Annapurna scene. Specifically Annapurna's contemplations on Sujatha's vehement rejection of Swara. I nearly fell for the red-herring there.
My fav expression is the sudden evil feeling swirling in the atmosphere. I loved the way you depicted the negativity and the rottenness of someone's nature and thought polluting the whole environment and even giving Swara inklings of something bad coming her way. That really shook me up. Your articulation was brilliant there.
Lastly, your fic was yet another masterpiece and Ii feel honored to read it. Thanks for the scrap. Actually something is wrong with my account. Inbox is empty yet no pm comes through :(
Edited by mistofshadows - 10 years ago