SwaSan TS: 'Old Sins Cast Long Shadows' - Page 6

Created

Last reply

Replies

232

Views

21.9k

Users

66

Likes

476

Frequent Posters

Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#51

Originally posted by: bwvianna



Read all the parts now!! Fabulous work! I had thought maybe it was Parineeta Or Ram Prasad. Lakshya was sort of unexpected, but it was damn thrilling! You've got this incredible way of writing that literally takes a person into your story. I could completely imagine everything. I have read all your other works as well. They are such good reads! You're genre transition was nothing to fear about. You did splendidly. :)

Please keep writing. Eagerly awaiting the 'before Diwali light OS'.
-V


Thanks so much dear. 😊 Am very glad you liked it, and your comment made my evening.

Sure, I'll PM you for my future work. Have added your buddy request.

Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#52

Originally posted by: .IPKKND.

That was tooo goood!


Thanks 😊
TRPS thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#53
thrillingly awesome!!!! 😊 again a nice piece of writing by you. 👏 you maintained the suspense sooo well. you know what, I was too curious to know who it was, when farmhouse' scene came, I just scrolled down to see who it is!!! 😛 pheww!! thank God! brainy Sanskaar's ideas for safety of Swara came useful in the situation. loved the bonding and confession of Swasan. 😊 and I think now girlies got the clear idea of how pillow wall was demolished. 😆

I loved the quotes which you used in the story. I never got the chance to read such talented writers' stories. well,now getting the glimpse through your stories.
So dear Viji, in future, I am definitely going to ask your recommendation for the novels. 😊 😳
and would you please explain me the meaning of the quote containing marriage and misundestanding??? 😳 and yeah, keep writing. 🤗
Edited by TRPS - 10 years ago
maaneetfan thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#54
Amazing. ...as captivating as hair raising. ...simply mind blowing
mistofshadows thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 90 Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 10 years ago
#55
Crime and mystery is my second fav genre followed by medical fiction. You successfully managed to inculcate both.

Your writing is absolutely enthralling. Your manipulation of the language is so artful that it makes the abstract very concrete for me. Hence your writing eggs the visions even more powerfully.

I loved the plot as a whole. Swara and Sanskar's bonding is something that has immense depth and flexibility that it can be twisted to fit any genre.

If this is your first trial of this genre than its a very good effort.

However perhaps its the result of too much exposure to this genre I seemed to expect Lakshya. The moment Sanskar said about Lakshya imitating DP, it started giving me gut feelings.

Another thing is the Lakshya and Swara confrontation. He harped on how he loved Kavita nd killed her but the aspect of his and Swara's relationship was touched very slightly. I would loved a glimpsed to how his broken mind had reacted to Swara's apparent "betrayal". He is a psychopath and rationality is not his strong point. So I wish you had focused on that point a bit.

Sanskar is as much as intelligent and able minded as I had expected. So good work on the character out there.

I liked Sujatha and Annapurna scene. Specifically Annapurna's contemplations on Sujatha's vehement rejection of Swara. I nearly fell for the red-herring there.

My fav expression is the sudden evil feeling swirling in the atmosphere. I loved the way you depicted the negativity and the rottenness of someone's nature and thought polluting the whole environment and even giving Swara inklings of something bad coming her way. That really shook me up. Your articulation was brilliant there.

Lastly, your fic was yet another masterpiece and Ii feel honored to read it. Thanks for the scrap. Actually something is wrong with my account. Inbox is empty yet no pm comes through :(
Edited by mistofshadows - 10 years ago
someonelikeyou- thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#56
Wow..what can I say about this,when you've left me speechless in a really awkward manner! its so awkward that I can't even tell how I love the way you add the quotes,and be so philosophically good.
The feelings,Swara's feelings...they are the best thing in this TS
Good one Viji
Love
Falaq
manasie23 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#57
I dont even know what to say but the way you have a described Lakshya's character sent chills down my spine... the way you have penned down everything, every detail got to say you have done an amazing job..
I dont even know what to comment because my words are falling short... I am in awww of this TS... keep writing more... Just one thing true love always wins and truth has a way to come out one way or the other.


-Manasi 😳
misaki thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 10 years ago
#58
Viji!!🤗
If it is you, I know it just has to be brilliant. No two thoughts about it
I loved how you got Swara to realize her growing feelings for him and finally the acceptance of their marriage. It was all so nicely done. I was at work when I started reading it and I almost got told by my team lead for not hearing him call for me. 😆 And of course I hated that I had to leave before I could finish the last part. The suspense of it all seriously was distracting me from attending my status call. I had this feeling that it was Laksh and I really wanted to know if it truly was him. If it wasn't AP, it had to be him. I did have my doubts about Suju initially but then if Swara did get killed, anyone would immediately doubt the "bangali bahu - despising saas" . Too obvious of a choice but could work in a way (I can totally see it, but that Suju would have to be a mastermind who could fool everyone into thinking she was silly and less than ordinary. OMG! imagine that?😆). However I kinda knew it had to be Laksh especially when I got to the part where Sanskaar talks about Laksh. YAYY!!! I am so very happy that I got it right!😆

When I started off reading your brief about the theme and plot, I never expected it to contain so much romance. I was pleasantly surprised😃. I loved how you got them to do away or completely forget about the "pillow wall" Such amazing stuff ! Makes my day so much better. So very happy to be reading them.🤗

Also I have always meant to say this several times but I somehow keep forgetting to. I love the fact that you always manage to post the entire story at once. I'm a sucker for happy endings and I also am a binge reader who loves to finish a story once I start reading it no matter how big the book is or how long it takes. That feeling that I get having completed a good story..total bliss! Thank you so much for this one again Viji! I am always looking forward to the next one from you🤗
RUQAIYA10 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#59
Viji!!!!!!. 😊
You are without a doubt a master story teller. The likes of Sydney Sheldon. My all time favorite writer of thrillers. While reading part 3 you took me straight down memory lane to the first time I read his book which was coincidentally also about split personality disorder.
Thank you so much for dedicating this fantastic piece to me. I am wholeheartedly grateful . this is a perfect concoction of romance and suspense. One thing I love about your stories are that they are so meticulously written.
Sansku yaar this guy always makes me feel for him. Relegating himself to love his wife only from a distance and living with the improbable thought of ever crossing the threshold is a feat only Sanskar can possibly achieve. So when when the blasted pillow wall was finally blasted off the bed the laddoos in my head were exploding at an alarming rate😳😆.

The Maheshwari boys do have a penchant of falling for the same girl. Laksh's love for Kavita was an unexpected revelation. And his entire transformation to a fully fledged psycho was chilling. I think it was his feelings of inferiority and hatred towards Sansku that could have triggered the genetic defect in him. And I loved the sun and moon quote. I felt a tad bit of sadness when Laksh said that.
And now I am really running out of superlatives to describe your work so I'll say something in French. Tres Magnifique!!!

🤗
Ruqaiya
moonstonespirit thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#60
Hi 🤗 This was simply brilliant!!! Absolutely loved it. Lakshya's madness was brilliantly written. How it all stared with his inferiority complex and grew into this deep rooted hatred.
Annapurna's thoughts on Swasan relationship and her thoughts on Sujatha's relationship with swara was finely blended into the story. Annapurna's character analysis 👍🏼

The progression of Swasan's relationship was beautiful and seamless. It was subtle, yet heartwarming. Good that Swara initiated the kiss!! Otherwise our Sanskari Baba would have never come out of his self imposed restrictions and see that she wanted something more than friendship 😆 His need to protect her from the brewing danger that was about to strike them and their restlessness regarding the same was brilliantly put.

I loved the way you built Lakshya's psycological disorder here. For someone who is as fickle and weak minded as Lakshya, jealousy and inferiority are bound to resurface. In fact, Swara choosing Sanskaar could trigger these hidden issues. Also with the elders accepting Swasan's relationship, Lakshya would take this as a sign of them choosing Sanskaar over him.

I do hope that they would touch upon Kavita's death on the show and also explore the bond between the brothers.

I loved it!!! And thanks for the PM 😊

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".