Friend falls in unrequited love with you--so you break the friendship?

Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

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Posted: 9 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: Smilelicious
I agree to your post in some points and in some other i have a different pov 😊
I too felt bad for Sanskar, maybe her words were too harsh.
I could see the pain in his eyes when she said that after the mission wo apne raaste aur Sanskar apne raaste jayenge
But on the other hand i somehow feel that everything seems so rushed in her life. She is facing lots of problems and maybe she doesn't have enough time to think about herself.
It's not easy for her, especially when she got heartbroken, her sister cheated with her, her parents separated once again Poor girl 😭
Well i can just hope to see Swara developing her feelings towards Sanskar soon 😳
Great post anyway 👍🏼 😳

Hey Preet. Thanks for commenting yaar. 😊

I just wanted to say: I fully expected Swara to be angry, disappointed, frustrated, all of that. But there were literally half a dozen other things she could have said, to show her anger, Of course, she is not in a frame of mind to consider Sanskaar's love right now. But saying "ab se dosti no more" 😊 was too OTT. It doesn't suit Swara, is all. At least, IMO. 😉

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Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

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Posted: 9 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: ...Binny...

I understand your perspective and I agree to an extent that she was reacting due to a certain amount of frustration and fear of the unknown in the current situation.. my problem is not that she was irritated or even that she chose to react in such a way with Sanskar my biggest issue is with the way the entire confrontation was depicted...

She fears falling in love yet again with a man she has not only begun relying on for emotional support but has trusted above all else with her secrets and her mission.. that alone requires a certain amount of understanding of him as a person.. her thinking over the entire fiasco according to her before she comes to the conclusion of ridding him completely from her life.. does he not deserve even that much consideration.. I have no problem with her yelling, fighting etc I have an issue when she would rather find the easy way out of the situation rather then think and talk it through with him as a real friend..

How ironic is it that she states our only mission now is to reach our destination.. yet she fails to realize here is the man who will continue to support you on every level regardless of a broken relationship without expecting anything in return.. also according to me when sanskaar said simply okay to her outburst she was shocked not because he did not apologize but because he so easily accepted her ultimatum.. how different he is from the other one..

I do not think she has written off her relationship with Sanskaar. She said all she said but then when Sanskaar raised his voice against Ragini, she reacted in a way that shows her innate understanding of Sanskaar.. She nodded at him once and she knew he would listen.

What she said though in anger is like lashing out at a dear friend in a moment of distress... "I told you so..I am not responsible for your future distress" is what it means IMHO. She wants to build a wall around her heart and the only way she can do it is if she tells herself that she is with Sanskaar only for the mission.

Remember, she tells herself that Lakshya means nothing to her anymore and has accepted him marrying Ragini. She says she has also forgiven him.. And this when we know its too early.. Her mind knows that Ragini played a game with Lakshya. It hence tells her that Lakshya is not totally at fault, so she voices that she has accepted it. But a heart is not easy to convince.. Whether her love for Lakh was total or not, she certainly dreamt of a life with him and she went through a heartbreak.
She has managed to pull herself together and has been listening to her brain rather than her heart.

With Sanskaar, she can lash out. He is her friend and a BFF now which means that she can afford to talk to him with emotion. she does not have to hide her emotions because logically, letting him down with care would make more sense.

She was high with that emotion as she wrung Ragini's hand. You can see her already getting affected by Sanskaar in a way she was not affected before..

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Shona

@Shanaia

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Posted: 9 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: bips

You did not get what i'm trying to say.

Its not about Swara ... Its about the direction of the show

You say that swara is scared to get hurt again ... Fine ... but how did you reach that conclusion ? ... the director/ actor/ dialogue writer - they have to somehow convey that idea to me.

I don't SEE any of the confusion/ frustration/ or grief of a past love - the scenes were not properly executed ... What you are saying is what you logically feel justifies the scene .. yet nothing in the Scene suggested anything of that sort

Hence the whole scene looks off given the character sketch of swara

Hah...no I don't expect anything from cvs.

Because I know they won't show Swara's feelings in depth.

The writers and cvs would not delve too deeply in the scene, it was a given.

So I always interpret it by considering the previous happenings in the show because these stupid cvs would never give proper reasoning to anything.

Well, relax dear, because I'm sure its all just to hype up the wedding and make the viewers restless.

Sanskar will handle her in his own way.Just lets see what happens.

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Binita

@...Binny...

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Posted: 9 years ago

#44

I do not think she has written off her relationship with Sanskaar. She said all she said but then when Sanskaar raised his voice against Ragini, she reacted in a way that shows her innate understanding of Sanskaar.. She nodded at him once and she knew he would listen.

What she said though in anger is like lashing out at a dear friend in a moment of distress... "I told you so..I am not responsible for your future distress" is what it means IMHO. She wants to build a wall around her heart and the only way she can do it is if she tells herself that she is with Sanskaar only for the mission.

Remember, she tells herself that Lakshya means nothing to her anymore and has accepted him marrying Ragini. She says she has also forgiven him.. And this when we know its too early.. Her mind knows that Ragini played a game with Lakshya. It hence tells her that Lakshya is not totally at fault, so she voices that she has accepted it. But a heart is not easy to convince.. Whether her love for Lakh was total or not, she certainly dreamt of a life with him and she went through a heartbreak.
She has managed to pull herself together and has been listening to her brain rather than her heart.

With Sanskaar, she can lash out. He is her friend and a BFF now which means that she can afford to talk to him with emotion. she does not have to hide her emotions because logically, letting him down with care would make more sense.

She was high with that emotion as she wrung Ragini's hand. You can see her already getting affected by Sanskaar in a way she was not affected before..

I agree she hasn't broken ties with him.. because she did not fail to contradict her own statement one one side she bellowed there will be nothing between us anymore and her next statement refuted that claim when she said our only goal will be to fulfill our mission..

My point is everyone can see her pain but she fails to see the courage it took for Sanskaar to actually not only accept but to portray his feelings drunk or sober..!! do you think sanskaar was not aware of the catastrophe headed his way.. Yes he most definitely was.. yet he wanted to hear it from the horses mouth.. as one would say.. he was reluctant yet fearless when it came to facing reality.. today swara's reaction was out of fear of the past and anxiousness about the future.. yet the way she handled the situation was still wrong if you ask me because such a statement doesn't truly suit her character..

Yes she Sanskar affects her on another level.. it will take her time to accept that yet even mentioning he betrayed her by falling for her was a bit much.. we know she's capable of thinking logically after all she overlooks the thousands of mistakes her sister and Laksh have done in the past.. and continue to do.. my point is that why not such harshness with the man that truly betrayed her with the sister who repeatedly back stabs her.. why only with the man who has supported her unconditionally.. I accept you can be yourself with your BFF but the same goes for the man she once loved or was that simple infatuation.. No today it was not a women reacting in front of a friend but a girl running from reality.. afraid of what she will have to face ..!!

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

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Posted: 9 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: ...Binny...

I do not think she has written off her relationship with Sanskaar. She said all she said but then when Sanskaar raised his voice against Ragini, she reacted in a way that shows her innate understanding of Sanskaar.. She nodded at him once and she knew he would listen.

What she said though in anger is like lashing out at a dear friend in a moment of distress... "I told you so..I am not responsible for your future distress" is what it means IMHO. She wants to build a wall around her heart and the only way she can do it is if she tells herself that she is with Sanskaar only for the mission.

Remember, she tells herself that Lakshya means nothing to her anymore and has accepted him marrying Ragini. She says she has also forgiven him.. And this when we know its too early.. Her mind knows that Ragini played a game with Lakshya. It hence tells her that Lakshya is not totally at fault, so she voices that she has accepted it. But a heart is not easy to convince.. Whether her love for Lakh was total or not, she certainly dreamt of a life with him and she went through a heartbreak.
She has managed to pull herself together and has been listening to her brain rather than her heart.

With Sanskaar, she can lash out. He is her friend and a BFF now which means that she can afford to talk to him with emotion. she does not have to hide her emotions because logically, letting him down with care would make more sense.

She was high with that emotion as she wrung Ragini's hand. You can see her already getting affected by Sanskaar in a way she was not affected before..

I agree she hasn't broken ties with him.. because she did not fail to contradict her own statement one one side she bellowed there will be nothing between us anymore and her next statement refuted that claim when she said our only goal will be to fulfill our mission..

My point is everyone can see her pain but she fails to see the courage it took for Sanskaar to actually not only accept but to portray his feelings drunk or sober..!! do you think sanskaar was not aware of the catastrophe headed his way.. Yes he most definitely was.. yet he wanted to hear it from the horses mouth.. as one would say.. he was reluctant yet fearless when it came to facing reality.. today swara's reaction was out of fear of the past and anxiousness about the future.. yet the way she handled the situation was still wrong if you ask me because such a statement doesn't truly suit her character..

Yes she Sanskar affects her on another level.. it will take her time to accept that yet even mentioning he betrayed her by falling for her was a bit much.. we know she's capable of thinking logically after all she overlooks the thousands of mistakes her sister and Laksh have done in the past.. and continue to do.. my point is that why not such harshness with the man that truly betrayed her with the sister who repeatedly back stabs her.. why only with the man who has supported her unconditionally.. I accept you can be yourself with your BFF but the same goes for the man she once loved or was that simple infatuation.. No today it was not a women reacting in front of a friend but a girl running from reality.. afraid of what she will have to face ..!!

I think you have said wonderfully and clearly in this para, several things I was trying to say. I was feeling the same thing--Swara, who is so mature in her reactions to all of Ragini's and Lakshya's failings and back stabbings, chooses to see Sanskaar's love for her as a betrayal.

Seems very unlike her, that's all.

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

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Posted: 9 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: naran1986
I am okay with swara saying that...because Sanskaar reacted to it satisfactorily.

The thing is I would have been a tad confused and unsatisfied if sanskaar's reaction was anything but what it was shown to be.

The same thing happened with thapki (I was a dhruvki fan).I watched maybe a month and then after the wedding I had a problem w ith how Thapki was blaming Dhruv, the person who was affected the most after her.Now If Dhruv's reaction was other than what was shown like him telling Thapki and her family what happened with him and trying to bring out the truth I would have watched tthe show even with the utterly unrealistic pairing that has replaced dhruvki.
But because of Dhruv's character being made to disappear I am out.

So I am happy with how Sanskaar reacted ,

I was more confused and unhapy when Swara said to ragini " main gharwaalon ko sachayi bataake, unhe dhoka nahin dena chahati".
This dialogue does not make sense "sachayi bataake, unhe dhoka" does not make any sense.This is a criticism of the dialogue, not swara.

Hey...thanks for commenting. Yes, Sanskaar's reaction was very good indeed. But IMHO, Swara's dialogue for that scene was not written too well. It was completely fine, her being frustrated, irritated, angry even. But to say she is snapping off the friendship? This from a person, who always makes allowance for weaknesses? Seemed too extreme.

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Noura

@lilinfinities

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Posted: 9 years ago

#47

She shouldn't think both brothers are same like Sanskar trusts her and Laksh didn't always supports Ragini only even though if he still loves Swara.. But Sanskaar is different defends, supports, believes, can do anything for her etc.. She can't compare Lakshya and Sanskaar..

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

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Posted: 9 years ago

#48

Hi Guys...

So a few people are asking me whether I felt Swara should just easily move on and accept Sanskaar's love, or whether she should have just jumped into his arms 😊.

Of course no. A HUGE NO. That would be completely unlike her. But, here's the deal, IMHO, a person like Swara, who values relationships so much, and makes excuses for her ex fiance and sister's behavior all the time, now wanting to completely cut off the friendship with Sanskaar? Rings false, at least to me. Yes, yes, I know--I know. She doesn't mean it, she will realize it later. That's fine, that's the balm for our SwaSan hearts after all, the future closeness.

But still, IMO, that dialogue of Swara did not ring true. It was unlike her.

And just to clarify to the commenters who are asking if I expected her to immediately and easily accept his love, yaar, please read what I'd said in my first post on the thread:

""
My question is very simple: Why not just freaking tell him:

A) I don't think you actually love me, its just your guilt talking

B) I need you as a friend, but that's all we'll ever be. Don't expect me to fall in love with you.

C) I have lost all faith in this emotion called love. I am just focused on my parent's relationship.""

None of these comes under the definition of accepting his love, or even letting him down particularly gently. None of these means a "Maybe" or "Lets see where it goes". All of them mean "No", and surely, Swara could have spoken any of these in sufficient anger to show her irritation at the situation.

My gripe remains this--that I think the dialogue writers flubbed in making her say she is going to snap off the friendship altogether, and in the same sentence, say the "our mission is the only thing that matters"! "Our" mission??? When you are saying there is no tie between you at all, where is the question of any "our"??

And last but certainly not the least-- I AM NOT bashing Swara. I am a die hard SwaSan fan guys...and all of us know what the the first 3 letters of "SwaSan" mean, isn't it? 😊 😊

Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago

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kaku17

@kaku17

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Posted: 9 years ago

#49

Brilliant post Cogito. 👏 yesterday I was thoroughly disappointed. Oh yes I could understand Swara's anger, frustration with Sanskaar but "betrayal" ? It was a little too OTT for me and then in a huff she decides that there's no more friendship between them, yet she expects sanskaar to work with her in fulfilling their mission and after that " tum apne raaste, main apne raaste". Their mission, like seriously girl. swara being a practical and analytical girl could have resolved the issue in a mature manner but no she ended up reprimanding him for betraying his trust. Man that's insane. Where does betrayel come in to the picture? Swara to me came across as a very rude and selfish person yesterday and that's very unlike her. it left a pretty bad taste in my mouth.

Swara infact at times to me comes across as a confused person. She has different set of rules for everyone. For her she keeps harping upon trust, but fails to see the same trust lacking in her parents relation and she is pretty ok about that. Shekhar, that moronic piece of s*** has abused the word trust so many times, yet she wants her wonderful mother to be with him. why I wonder? may be she can play family family then.

as far as people saying that for her history is repeating itself and therefore she is getting scared. I doubt that. Lux was her best friend, but she was made to fall for him. Somewhere I still feel she never loved him. He was way down the pecking order in her life. For her it was always her parents, ragz, dida, dadi and then it was lakshya. And then one says that she loved him. She never bothered to convey her feelings to him, as if lux is a clairvoyant and would understand her without saying anything. * rolls eyes in bewilderment*. It was always lux who did the running. And as far as her grieving is concerned for her lost love, I must say cvs really botched that as it never came across. Not once did she have any fb of her time with lakshya. I can't believe I am talking for lux. Somebody kill me plz. 🤢.

I agree that sans confession has compounded her problems and has shaken her quiet refuge, but girl a bit of maturity and manners always helps. Somewhere I also feel that by saving sanskaar, she was saving ragini from further degrade, as if left to sans, he would have got her shredded to pieces in the court. So here also her main motive was again her dear sister. see now I have started becoming unreasonable, all thanks to her one word "betrayel". 😡

I am hoping that from now on sans will not spout his "love" for her, but support her. obviously the wedding will happen and after her mission gets complete, sans gives her divorce stating her own condition " after mission tum apne raaste main apne raaste" and then I want to see swara moving heaven and earth to save her relation. As I have had enough of men running after her. now its about time she does the running. period.

Rant over 😆

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

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Posted: 9 years ago

#50

Originally posted by: bips
I have been saying this for the past 2 days ... i dont get the "anger"

If someone tells you that they love you, even if you dont love them back, dont you feel good for a second at the idea of being loved by someone ?

And at max, say No, sorry don't love you.

Is he stalking/harassing/forcing you ? Then why get angry ?

And that mission dialogue was super crappy .. At this point sanskar has no mission of his own. Even if ragini gets exposed, it does not help his life. The only gain is for swara, and her ma-baba ki love story

Sanskar is helping her out of guilt for his own actions. But lets face it , even if he hadn't helped ragini, she was anyways going to go psychotic on swara

So that dialogue felt mean and sort of opportunistic

Everything you said above 👏 Really, I don't get the "Friendship is over" dialogue. Still don't get it, though I watched the scene 3 more times and tried my level best to convince myself that it was appropriate for the situation.

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Friend falls in unrequited love with you--so you break the friendship? - Page 5

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