Shruthi, I missed your post yesterday. It's like the cvs give an important message and then you always pick it up and reinforce it beautifully. The two - episode and then your post are so intertwined that your post completes the episode.
As for Rama not taking Sita's permission before lifting the dhanush - I am glad it was this way.
The most beautiful aspect of Rama's character goes beyond his strong respect for all human beings, and his deep empathy for those who are being victimised. It is actually to see beyond the rituals, the popular thought and the noise, and to see clearly the underlying real sense and then to fearlessly act upon that.
He instinctively saw that the foolish kings had got carried away with the surface meaning of swayamvar condition as the strongest will win the prize, and then since no one could win, thus the prize was defective!
He had to, first and foremost, settle that - restore the honour and dignity of swayamwar, of Sita not being a prize to be won, and of Janaks honour and intent!
He had to also bring back into focus the fact that by accepting the invitation to the swayamwar, they had merely indicated that they were willing to be considered for Sita's hand, but nothing more. They were not going to win, they were merely to show their worthiness!
You know, when Ravana was trying to lift the dhanush, I was wondering, why Sita would have to marry Ravana , if he manages to "win" , surely, seeing his arrogance and behaviour, she should have the right to say no, even after that! Meeting an essential pre-condition is one part, but to marry - you have to have the same value system and your hearts must be meet.
And yesterday I am so happy, that it is exactly what Rama did - he asked for her agreement after and not before. He took part in the swayamwar of his own free will, and he knew she would be the one he would marry,
Unlike Sita's choice - from among the many, she would be forced to marry whoever wins - so Rama being Rama, gave her the freedom to say no, gave her the choice, and that to my mind is the true essence of why Rama is so pujyaniya.
So to me, this was the Rama way, the right way, and I loved that even after "winning" she had the final right to still say no!
Shiv Shakti
