looking at the CVs - Page 2

Originally posted by: mango_pudding1

@summerrain7 - have always felt the friendship was rather one sided in that mouli was almost the one pursuing nandini. am not sure what mouli gets out of that but nandini has always felt alone. it is like if a stranger helps you out and you are grateful to them but you are not going to open up and share everything that is in your heart - thats how I see nandini.

also don't see her any guilt or conflict within her. in fact, she seemed more deflated on seeing kunal because it meant he could be walking away her. she has gone beyond the guilt the moment she decided to accept kunal in the bus station. she is also having very little expectations (for now) from him -- all she needs is a little bit of company and she is happy. so she probably does not feel like she is competing or stealing anything from mouli because kunal is still with his wife. he goes home. and nandini does not sulk but sends him away happily. so thats my guess to why she does not feel guilty about interacting wtih mouli or going over to her house. also these are just my guesses for why nandini seems to have no internal conflict about the affair as the CVs as usual are not spelling anything out..

Originally posted by: DracarysTrio

Sorry for butting in, but this Nandini-Mauli friendship thing is interesting -
2 friends separated because of some misunderstandings, one is a doctor, lived in a secured environment away from harsh reality of the world and one faced mental and physical torture for years. After reunion, Mauli is exactly where she was years ago when Nandini left her and Nandini has a baggage of mental and physical torture hence she is not the same Nandini anymore, how can she be the same after years of abuse?

Her character is bipolar, she's not normal, she shifted from White to black in an episode, she's crying helpless victim in one scene where she's over cautious of people who are around her, then she doesn't even understand why Kunal is uncomfortable after sleeping with her, shouldn't that be obvious? It's not that she's oblivious or she can't see that she's wrong because there was a scene where she was crying with Mauli's picture in her hand then she went under the shower to punish herself because she can't do this to Mauli, so she knows that she's wrong, she is a woman who realized her dreams of a good marriage have been broken when she saw Rajdeep with a woman and she's ready to be the woman, perhaps thinking that the other woman got her husband's attention and she can get attention of Kunal? I am confused
The gaps in writing are so big that writer can put her head in these large gaps and put her huge foot in her mouth

Originally posted by: mango_pudding1

@summerrain7 - have always felt the friendship was rather one sided in that mouli was almost the one pursuing nandini. am not sure what mouli gets out of that but nandini has always felt alone. it is like if a stranger helps you out and you are grateful to them but you are not going to open up and share everything that is in your heart - thats how I see nandini.

also don't see her any guilt or conflict within her. in fact, she seemed more deflated on seeing kunal because it meant he could be walking away her. she has gone beyond the guilt the moment she decided to accept kunal in the bus station. she is also having very little expectations (for now) from him -- all she needs is a little bit of company and she is happy. so she probably does not feel like she is competing or stealing anything from mouli because kunal is still with his wife. he goes home. and nandini does not sulk but sends him away happily. so thats my guess to why she does not feel guilty about interacting wtih mouli or going over to her house. also these are just my guesses for why nandini seems to have no internal conflict about the affair as the CVs as usual are not spelling anything out..

Originally posted by: Alohomora_

That's exactly what I felt too.She went beyond GUILT the moment she decided to let go and accept his love for her in the bus station. Till that moment she kept resisting,kept telling herself and Kunal- No this isn't right, this isn't what we should be doing but Kunal convinced her that what they were doing was not WRONG as Nandini thought but was RIGHT and PURE. She felt he was genuine with her regarding his feelings and she probably had never experienced this kind of love and concern for her in her life before.This is what blurred out the line between right and wrong and whole heartedly accept Kunal's c9nfession of love for her.On the other hand Kunal suddenly seems confused about continuing this relationship today. I mean you go after this woman, literally BLOCK her way at the station not letting her leave,convince and emotionally manipulate her that they are doing the RIGHT thing and when she whole heartedly believes him and is emotionally attached to him at this juncture he is confused! Like give me a break man! You initiated this whole affair,literally coerced her into admitting her love for you ,have sex with her when she was mentally not stable and then suddenly you have second thoughts about her. What was Nandini - a toy that he played with for sometime and now doesn't know what to do with? Yeh GUILT tab kaha tha jab he went and blocked her at the station with his l8ve confession ? At least Nandini isn't a hypocrite who changes statements and feelings everyday.She is what she is. With Kunal one day he is running behind her screaming our love is true love and it's absolutely right and another day he is not sure if he wants to meet his true love. Sorry but he is coming across as a hypocrite here. Jab bolne ki himmat rakhte ho toh nibgane ki bhi Rakho. At least be a MAN of your words Mr Kunal Malhotra!

Originally posted by: pamk06

Let me try to give you another perspective. In no way it is right but might help you look at it from another angle or it can be that I am just blabbering.

There are victims of abuse who are beaten black and blue the previous night but next day they seemed all OK with three layers of makeup as if nothing is wrong in their world, its all normal day to day life for them.

So coming back to Nandini, she has been abused for a long time and seeing examples of it, it must have been severe and extreme. During her time with Rajdeep, there was no one with her, so after every session, she herself must be gathering her strength, picking her pieces up and putting it together, in the hope that this might be the last or she doesn't make a mistake again. She had no one to share that burden with her, not her mother, not her father, not her family, nor her friends anddefinitely not her husband.

So yesterday, it might verywell be the first time,someone else had witnessed her torture, was picking the pieces up for her, taking care of her, sharing her pain, it must be an out of world situation for her. Even when she was on the road, she herself had called for help but yesterday must have been a novelty for her. Thus when she stopped Kunal from leaving, may be it might be because she didn't want to go to that place where she knew she had to be strong and fight all her demons alone.

CV's should have stopped at this point but let look at the physical intimacy part that they shared. Looking at her past, for her sex must have always been forced so yesterday it must have been so much different. It must have very well be the first time that she might have felt so much love and care in the physical form. Something that she might be dreaming of, wishing for and somewhere in the past 7 years, lost hope for and may be the reason for her happiness. Is it wrong? Absolutely. Is it selfish on her part? Definitely. But for now she just happy with the crumbs of happiness that she is getting something similar to a traveller finding an oasis in a desert after losing all hope of ever finding one.

Why is she is not guilty? I think @mango_pudding1 answered it well in her post in this same thread.

Also, I think she did understand why Kunal was uncomfortable because she did say "Mujhe pata hain kyun"

Originally posted by: DracarysTrio

I think we are confusing victim of ongoing violence with Nandini -
1 Nandini is not in that phase anymore, yes, the trauma is not over but you can't say that she is taking it like a norm because there was a scene where she stands up against Rajdeep, without anyone's help, so I'd say she is out of that phase where she believes that abuse is the norm.

2 Did Rajdeep abuse her before Kunal slept with her? I mean they didn't show it so I am confused, was she shaken because of the blood or Rajdeep abused her?

I am not blaming Nandini here for anything, I am all ready to accept the no guilty Nandini but she was guilty when she thought that Mauli knows about her affair, so she is not really guilty but starts crying thinking that her truth is out? That's not how victims of abuse act, this is mental state where you don't just turn it on and off according to the convenience, next week when the truth comes out won't she cry and act guilty, because I completely get the part where she isn't guilty in front of Kunal, but how is she so normal with Mauli? Not guilty with Kunal and normal in front of Mauli are same character traits where I feel that she's so cold that she is above feelings for other people but why she starts feeling when she thinks the truth is out?
Hope I am clear that I am trying to understand her mentality

Originally posted by: _charu_

Nandini has nobody in her life except kunal and kunal has more people to look after hence he will always be confused and act like dhobi ka kutta...nandini can never have 100%of this man..physically yes may be , emotionally he will always be divided.

Originally posted by: pamk06

The other thing that I noticed today was the comparison between the two. Kunal is so disturbed when he comes back home but Mauli does not sense it at all, not in his demeanor, not in his voice, not in his attitude. She is happy in her own world not even realizing that he did not reply to her words of love. But Nandini, as soon as sees him, she knows something is wrong and also the reason for it. Does that mean she understands him better or she is more attuned to his emotions? Just some food for thought. (Nothing against Mauli, just my observation)

Next week would be the train wreck. Let's see where it takes us.

PS: Well, I made my peace with yesterday and so the sindoor and the reason for consummation, goes in the same box like the "Baba", something that is best forgotten and never to be discussed again. 😆

Originally posted by: mango_pudding1

(sorry for cutting your post short - just wanted to respond to that one)

my take is that from the beginning, mouli is a nice person but has a tough time reading the room (and maybe thats why she doesn't seem to have any friends)... she tries really hard to be the opposite of her mom -- welcoming, warm, kind -- but just like her mom, she has no idea what others feel. (these are just fuzzy impressions as I can't remember the details) but one of the things that struck me odd was in her relationship with nandini.

yea, helping is good but you don't hold on to a person. if she wants to leave, then you say "yes". instead mouli gave nandini a kind of guilt trip like "omo, how dare you leave me?" which I thought strange. it felt like mouli never really understood nandini's dynamics -- one of the things that struck me in the article that I pasted above was how one of the women said that she wanted someone to listen without being judged. here, mouli is forever saying "oh nandini you are finally brave. am so proud of you" -- mouli might think she is being encouraging but in another way, it is almost patronizing and kind of judging no? like nandini wasn't strong and thats why she got abused?

whereas kunal was lot more kinder. he listened and even encouraged her. one of the details I remember is how nandini was petrified on signing this bank document but he just made it seem like a normal thing and asked her to instead practice her signature.. she then practiced and found her confidence. so her feeling more connected to kunal than mouli felt more organic that way.

also how many times do we see nandini calling and inviting herself to spend time with mouli? it is always mouli calling even when nandini does not want to do something. my guess is that because mouli's mom is this horrible difficult person, mouli hung on to nandini in school. nandini was a kind of break from the crazy negativity. and thats why mouli still wants to hold on to nandini in a way...

one of the phrases that has always struck with me -- "friends for a reason, friends for a season, friends for a lifetime." for a reason -- means is that sometimes God sends you friend to help you through a certain tough period. by nature, it is temporary and not reflection on either parties. after that reason, people move on. for a season refers to periods in our life -- school, college, a certain job. once we move out, the friendship naturally becomes distant and is a natural part of life. for a lifetime -- means permanent friendship.

mouli and nandini's friendship is not a lifetime friendship. instead, it has always been either a reason or a season. so there is a kind of short intensity and then a gradual distance. thats how life is. nandini has always known that which is why she has felt alone even though mouli was helping her out. for her, it was like a stranger helping out and you are intensely grateful but you are not going to put your whole life on hold or beholden to them your whole life. it was only kunal that she felt like he was a lifetime support and so she responds differently. the problem is the miscommunication in the sense that mouli has misinterpreted the friendship as lifetime when it really isn't.

ofcourse all of this would be easier to understand if the CVs had lot more dialogues then just silences and stares. 😉