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I wish Aamir had shown role of cinema and mass media also in re-affirming stereotypes about women and promoting patriarchy - even glorifying violence against women. But it's sad he did not do so. And though I know we must focus on issues and not on him alone still I can't help but speak on this.
He highlighted stereotypes in cinema about the disabled. But what about the useless representation of women?
Remember popular dialogues from Guide and Gadar in which the heroes say, bhai main toh apni biwi se khana banwaunga, pair dabwaunga...etc. etc., aur agar usne zyada ''te-te'' ki na toh do chaar rakh bhi doonga ya thappad laga doonga!
And heroine asks, aur pyar nahi karoge? The hero (after all he is HERO na!) says, haan pyar toh bahut karunga!
So heroine forgets all other work and threat of slaps and goes ahead to say, toh phir pair dabaane mein, ghar saaf karne mein, rotiyan banaane mein aur thapad khaane mein bhi koi ghum nahi! In Gadar Amisha even says to Sunny that she is ready to bear his slaps also, if only he promises he will also love her!🤢
This is just one example. In cinema, it is promoted that woman should accept her husband at all costs, no matter what that guy is - just as Nirupa Roy accepted the mawaali Amjad Khan in Suhaag despite knowing this man deserted her and her kids to rot and told her father to sell her to a brothel if he were so worried about her!
Woman should bear slaps also, if the husband loves her or keep hoping that someday he will love her back. There have been very few films which challenged this mindset. Most of them only objectify women or put them at mercy of son, husband or lover. In Karan Arjun the woman is even willing to wait for her sons' reincarnation (!) but won't file a case or take on the goons herself. In 3 Idiots too, Kareena is about to marry the same Suhas who she had earlier rejected. Why? Because according to her, Suhas has changed now. It's only revealed later how he's the same old MCP! In that film, Kareena never takes any decision of her own. She is mostly led by men - either her father or her lover or even her lover's friend! In how many films women take a stand?
Are movie wallahs careful of their language? I cringe when SRK says to Kajol's mother in DDLJ - ''Ab Simran aapki nahi meri pareshaani hai''. And all of them smile. 🤢 So a girl is always a pareshaani or a zimmedaari. Sometimes for her natal relatives and later for her lover or husband and then for her son or grandson! She is someone else's burden and has no identity of her own?
And see how in HAHK they conveniently want to marry the younger sister to her Jija only to replace older one in household and take all responsibilities!
As for TV shows, well we have had Tulsi and Parvati and their umpteen clones accept their husbands back in their lives despite affairs and give motherly love to their husbands' illegitimate kids. These women get abused and even kicked out of house by their own families, still they return to their parivaar!
TV shows also play it kind of safe by showing a Parvati fight against marital rape for another person in their family. But the same righteous Parvati accepts any torture from her in-laws! So what role model is she?
What about films like Laadla where a ''spoilt'' girl is to be set ''right'' by her asli mard husband? Sridevi is ''spoilt'' in it only because she is successful, stickler for discipline and is a go getter who reached her position due to her own hard work? Men have right to throw their weight around. But independent Sridevi in Laadla is a disgrace to womanhood.
Anil Kapoor saab even taught feminity, virtues and broke ''ghamand'' of Hema Malini in Jamai Raja - a film where a super successful achiever Hema is deserted by her entire family!
So many examples of working women and achievers being portrayed as some witches who always have broken families. So many examples of girls enjoying even husbands' slaps as long as he did love them at some point.
So many songs which glorify eve-teasing [Razia gundon mein phas gayi, Munni badnaam hui, Tun odho meri jaan dupatta sambhaal ke etc.] and either celebrate disrobing of a woman, joke about parts of her body or warn her of being chased or used if she does not take care of herself.
Aamir talks about gender issues in Satyamev Jayate. So do likes of Hema Malini on TV or in magazines like New Woman. SRK claims he respects women. Likes of Ash, Preity etc. are crowned as some power women. But have these big shots ever done anything to change in their own field? Has any man ever refused to utter misogynistic or stereotypical lines? Has any heroine ever refused to dance to a vulgar song? Has any singer ever refused to sing songs with stereotypical and dirty lyrics?
The artistes say it's a creative field and they can do anything they like. But does creativity mean no social responsibility? Not bothering about impact on people's psyche?
Heroines complain of being pinched at public places or greeted with lewd remarks. But ever wonder how they invite this upon themselves the moment they agree to dance to songs like Choli ke peeche kya hai or Sheila ki jawani?
Can you guys risk a flop but stick to principles? How will people's psyche change if mass media itself peddles worst kind of stereotypes?
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
