EPISODE 3: DOWRY - Discussion (Page 7) - Page 2

Originally posted by: mitzification

Hi , I feel that this issue is so complex that what Aamir touched was just tip of the iceberg ...

it needs so much more to be discussed and so much more to be done .

DO see my post regarding this !

Originally posted by: mitzification

Even though its kudos to Amir to talk abt a topic .. I dint even wanna listen abt (locked my door n watched it , didnt feel like watching wid my family)

ANd absolutely loved the workshop he did amazinggg👏 he showed us how to talk abt the topic head on ..better to scare ur kids a bit tell them about ugly reality than face the aftermath of ur children facig something and not knowing how to handle it ...

But coming back to the main topic this topic is not so simplisistic to be handled in one episode ... even though female infanticide itself cannot be dealt in isolation , this topic of child abuse is more complex.

No clear profiling of abuser ... I cant comment on it as I have not read much about it ..but I wish more profiling was available , more ways of how to recognise where it is happening and who is doing it.

Recognising the victim : I think a whole book can we writen on how to recognise which child is suffering it . Maybe teacher need to be given workshops on how to recognise disturbed children ... and child maybe disturbed due to many reasons

Parents reaction : I have seen my mom go red when as i child asked her what a sanitary napkin was, saw panic in her eyes ...this for innocent things .. ...but as a child i felt i had done something wrong on asking the question ... now just imagine a child going and telling his mom something like child abuse ...the first reaction of their parent will tell them that 'they themselves(the child himself) is doing something wrong talking of such a thing .

The lady in the show told of the 4 -5 v important steps of how the parent should react ... but they were said just in passing , no impact on viewer

Sex education: it was mentioned but more education needs to be given to parents about teaching kids about right and wrong touching

Councling: The two people whon in the end themselved admitted that they would commit suicicde if she stoppe dhaving anti depressant. and the guy saying he keeps working ... his voice was full of emotions . They need long councling and healing sessions ...but i wonder if such services are even available in India.

There was a helpline to report child abuse but WHO is gonna provide councling to victim and the family . Those two people shown were only breathing ..not living.

Special law : the law and procedure also need to be discussed widely ... rape victims also face the same trauma when they go for reporitng the case , physical examination , when their cases are discussed in open courts and coupled with how long it takes to get these people to book.

I think this issue needs more indepth analysis and spread .

Originally posted by: dhanya.r

Nice update and summary about 2nd episode Iolahardy.

There are many instances where father himself is the abuser of his child. What do such kids do? I know a case where one of my college mate was abused by her father from a very young age and he refuses to marry her off, coz he wants her for himself.

I was also curious to know does women abuse kids sexually? I hope not, but would have liked to hear a statistics on that too.

• The first reason why kids could be ignored could be because all children have a tendency to exaggerate. Maybe these parents feel their children are just over - exaggerating or are doing all this in order to get their attention. but then dont they notice the changed behavior of their child? i m sure after going through such a trauma the child is not going to be normal
• Fear of society. maybe the parents feel that if the society comes to know that their child was raped or abused, the society will treat them (their child) differently. Alternately maybe the parents fear getting labelled as negligent
• Disbelief that a child can be raped. Lack of knowledge could be the main problem here. this could be especially true if the victim is a male
• In most of the cases discussed today, all abusers were people whom the parents knew. How does a daughter-in-law accuse (rightly!) her father-in-law of abusing her child. Will her husband support her? If he doesnt believe her, and things progress to a divorce & she isnt awarded the child's custody, what will be her baby's future in the house of such a grandpa without her mother.
  

What i have concluded is that whats most difficult is taking the first step, both for the child as well as its parent or 'bodyguard'. once they overcome the initial shame/ fear only then can the process of healing start. there is no justice for an abused. there is only healing & moving on!

Originally posted by: dhanya.r

Nice update and summary about 2nd episode Iolahardy.

There are many instances where father himself is the abuser of his child. What do such kids do? I know a case where one of my college mate was abused by her father from a very young age and he refuses to marry her off, coz he wants her for himself.

I was also curious to know does women abuse kids sexually? I hope not, but would have liked to hear a statistics on that too.

Thanks for all the discussions. Really like the honest and straightforward talks we have here. It is indeed Satyamev Jayate.