EPISODE 3: DOWRY - Discussion (Page 7)

Satyameva Jayate is an Indian television show hosted by Aamir Khan whose first episode was broadcasted on 6^th May 2012. The show will be aired on Star Network & Doordarshan & is directed by Satyajit Bhatkal.

Sirf hungama khada karna mera maqsad nahi

Meri koshish hai ki ye soorat badalni chahiye

Mere seene mein nahi toh tere seene mein sahi

Ho kahi bhi aag, lekin aag jalni chahiye!

http://www.satyamevjayate.in/

Episode I (Female feticide)

http://www.satyamevjayate.in/videos/?id=w1ByZCLOvXY

The episode started off with personal interviews with 2 women who had had their babies aborted. Amisha Yagnik fell pregnant 6 times in 8 years & had her babies aborted! Parveen Khan suffered worst. She was bitten in the face by her husband after medical tests confirmed that she was carrying a baby girl for the second time. She was a mother of one girl already. When the makers of the show interviewed the general public 100% were of the opinion that such things were more common in smaller towns or villages. However the statistics revealed something else. Female foeticide is more common in metropolitan cities like Delhi & Mumbai as also Chandigarh. While it started off in areas of Rajasthan & UP it spread gradually to western & central India & later in southwest India. Andhra Pradesh & Kerala in the south seemed like the only 2 states in the south that were less affected. Guess there is a huge difference between being literate & being educated. The best example of this would be the following two instances:

A female doctor was interviewed who too had lost a baby due to this issue. Her husband was an orthopedic surgeon who had supported his mother when she asked her DIL to abort the child.

A gynecologist who works in the interiors of Rajasthan amongst the adivasis said that the adivasis have never asked them, the doctors, to determine the sex of the unborn child. The birth of a girl makes them as happy as the birth of a boy!

Food for thought:

1. During the show it was revealed that the Government of India had once allowed female foeticide. This was when the population of India was increasing by leaps & bounds. This fact shocked the hell out of me. What sort of people have we elected who sanction murder?

2. When Amisha Yagnik's case for the custody of her baby was going on in the court, the judge had the gall to ask what is wrong if her in ' laws want her to produce a 'ghar ka chirag'. This was said in open court & no action was taken against the judge. Also, the judge had fired the PSI for having arrested Amisha's in ' laws! Some judge I must say!

3. Female foeticide in the future can lead to an imbalance in the male : female sex ratio. If this ratio is disturbed then there could come a time when men do not find any girls to marry them. This could encourage flesh trade! The girls which would be bought in this would never have the status of a wife but would be merely children producing machines! What would be their future? What would have of their children? Will they be separated from their mother right at birth? This horrid thing isn't something which will happen in the future. It is something which has already started. Many girls are being bought from Bihar & Belgaum for this very purpose today!

4. A sting operation was carried out by 2 reporters from Sahara News Network in which they have revealed a number of doctors in Rajasthan who are involved in the whole sex determination ' abortion racket. This news had created quite a furor when it was brought out in the open initially. However, as is common with most crimes in our country, no action has been taken against these doctors till date. Some have even got promotions! Doctors, who are supposed to be saviors were shown smiling shamelessly & uttering cringe worthy things like, 'you cannot just throw the aborted child anywhere. Bury it in a graveyard or drown it in the Yamuna!' And the best or the worst part was all these doctors were females!

At the end of the show a public appeal was made asking everyone if they supported setting up fast ' track courts in Rajasthan so that the above mentioned doctors could be prosecuted at the earliest. We have to sms Y to 5782711 if we support this cause. The sms will cost Re. 1. Mukesh Ambani will be contributing the exact equal of the amount collected via these smses and the total amount collected after tax deduction would go to 'Snehalaya' an institution which works on the issue of female foeticide. Inspite of being a miser I smsed them right away. Anything for a just cause!

Likes:

• The show was very informative. The team has put in a lot of effort in gathering information, sorting it out & presenting it in a clear yet interesting fashion. Nowhere did I see any attempt to sensationalize the issue as we see news channels do ('do not forget, you heard this here first! Eeks! Such claims make me cringe in horror!)
• Everything was done in a very dignified manner. I have never liked to see people cry on TV. Donno, just do not like it. Find such emotions very OTT. Yesterday, all the 3 women who were interviewed said their story with their heads held high. Nobody cried buckets! Kudos to them. For me they are true icons of feminism who fight daily for what is right! And I feel I liked them more for their dignity than their courage!
• Aamir Khan (blush blush). Can't help it. I am his huge fan. Loved how he wasn't decked up in some flashy sherwani or kurta. A simple t ' shirt with blue jeans & a wow watch! His aim was to divert attention from himself to the more important issue he was discussing. Also, the producers of the show had asked for a prime time slot. It was Aamir who said that he wanted each & every member of the family to watch SMJ. And 11 AM was the correct time for family shows. He cited examples of Mahabharata & Ramayan which were hugely popular in their days & were aired at 11 AM. This man is indeed a one ' man army. Love his thorough research in all the things he does!

Dislikes:

• To be honest NONE!
  

Suggestions:

I would have liked the show makers to have included one more angle to this story. I would have liked if they had interviewed those people who were in favor of female foeticide (with their faces blanked off naturally!). I would have liked to know what psychology, what beliefs forced normal people to turn murderers? And not just any murderers but inhumane murderers who don't think twice before killing a yet unborn child!

But then as a friend said to me, why allow these people to voice their opinions when they have never allowed anybody else to speak in their times? Guess she too is correct! Confused!

My take: A must watch program. 10/ 10 from my side. Me already eager for next Sunday!

They might didn't interview those murderers due to social riots...or this is about "WAKE UP INDIA" not about hating those orthodox murderers with face on them. We all know that we hate people whose thinking is like that. But main problem is Women is enemie of unborn girls or other women...if this SAAS(MIL) support Bahu than this problem will be less and if SAAS (MIL) can change her son's mind too...but in this world most issue arise because Saas (Women) wishes to have boy not girl and thoese kind of women never teach well things to their kids to repect girl or women. Sham on all women and Men who are part of this crime. Amir Khan's "SMJ' I wish it make some changes to our INDIA and all other c**tries who watching these show.

@iolahardy: Nice write and great read.

Few comments from my side:

The Show:

Amazing!

It has nothing to do with Aamir and he portrayed that himself. It is blunt, raw, real and cut throat, that makes a person realize what a safe bubble we all live in and don't realize what is going on in the real world.

Subject:

It was perfect for the upcoming Mothers Day (13^th May!) What better way to start a show other than salute mother's who have gone thru the tough's to be one!

Overall the show was very well presented. The subject of female feticide is so sensitive and taboo to be talked about but it was done in the open. It is about time.

No melodrama.

I loved the way the difference between the educated and uneducated was shown.. what an eye opener. (The Adivasi sect of people don't even care for the gender of a child but for a healthy one. Kudos to them!).

There is a conclusion to the show. There is a way we can make a difference. There are shows that make us aware of such things but we usually watch and 'out of sight is out of mind' life goes on. I like that we can do something about it.

There were some parts where Aamir was talking that I felt was dramatized (not extremely but just a bit) OR maybe it was the subject that made it feel that way. I guess after a few shows they will get into the groove of it and it will get a bit natural.

Appalling moment:

That Manmohan Singh, Pratibha Patil have talked about this issue. Mrs Patil has talked during her oath and NOTHING is done about it. Wow… I mean really WOW!!! Completely floored me!

Great show and I am glad it is not glamorized because the essence of the subjects and the show would be as effective.

Thanks!

Episode II (Sexual Abuse in Children)

http://www.satyamevjayate.in/issue02/videos/?id=hY8CyTeegrM

The episode began with some gruesome statistics. 53% i.e. 1 in every 2 kids in India have suffered from sexual abuse. 21% of these were classified as 'serious' cases (which include rape, touching private parts, etc) & 32% were classified as 'less serious' (which include kissing, making vulgar remarks, etc). Also, 53% children who suffered from child abuse were males. When the audience was asked, 'Where is the child most safe?', all of them answered, 'at home'. However the case studies that were discussed revealed a very different truth.

Case Studies:

Anamika Sharma was abused for 7 years by her own teacher. The teacher used to come to her home, close the door & abuse her. He had won the trust of her family members & was friendly with them. There were 22 people living in the house, but unfortunately none observant enough to know the trauma their child was going through.

Cinderella Prakash, a Mumbai based girl was abused by her parents friend when she was 11. The abuser was 55. A take home message from her for all those who have suffered this trauma: It should haunt him, not me! This correct identification of who was the victim is worth an applause!Mumbai

Harish Iyer, from Mumbai was raped when he was 6.5 years old. This continued for the next 11 years. Later on the man used to bring his friends along with him to rape Harish. He silently went through this trauma. When he complained to his mother about this, she did not believe him. When he turned 18, for the first time he stood up for himself & said a firm NO & only then did this end.

Nazneen Tonse from Bengaluru turned to alcohol & drugs for comfort. She is living off anti ' depressants. A classic example of the after ' effects of child abuse

Ganesh Nallari, another victim has not been able to get into any relationship because of the constant fear of more

Expert Opinions:

Anuja Gupta, runs an institution in Delhi which helps deal people with sexual abuse. She said the most important thing which held back children from confiding in their parents is the fear that they won't be believed. Children use silence as a method of self ' preservation. She had a case where a 2 year old girl was abused by her dadaji (paternal grandpa). She had advised the mother to call a family conference to expose the old man & let him know that this had to stop! She explained that most people thought more of society than of their child & hence kept quiet

Dr. Rajat Mitra, a Clinical Psychologist has been working with the Delhi Police to help them understand the mentality of an abuser. When asked what did his studies reveal about the psychology of an abuser he replied,

An abuser feels no guilt. He feels the child is enjoying it as much as he himself. Most such people were often individuals who were social & could charm people very easily. The people around them often believed them to be very good & decent individuals. He said a few indicators that a person may have such abusive tendencies are:

• Loves children a little too much
• Spends too much of time with kids

The best line Dr. Mitra said, which I personally loved was, 'Respect behavior of a person & not his age!'

1098 is the number of a helpline which deals with various issues of children. It operates in over 200 cities in India & would soon be covering 630 Zillas. It is the largest such institute in the world & attends nearly 25 lac calls / year.

Nishit Kumar who runs 1098 discussed that there was no law against child sexual abuse. A bil is pending in the parliament awaiting approval.

Towards the end of the show a workshop was conducted which was organized by Dr. Bhushan Shukla from Pune. In the workshop a group of kids, with the youngest being 5.5 yrs old & the oldest being 10, were explained the need to 'scream' if they felt something wrong was going on with them. Also with the help of charts they were told that certain areas of their body (the chest, between the legs & the backside) were private parts. Nobody should be allowed to touch them there.

Likes:

1. Another strong topic which needs to be seriously addressed in India

2. For the first time the need to educate children against such things was shown on Indian TV

3. A mixed balance of case studies, with some who went on to become strong individuals while others who were crippled for life by their past abuse & lived life popping pills

4. The workshop was very good. It highlighted & ways to explain such sensitive issues to kids

5. Informative as always

Dislikes:

1. I truly did not feel there was any need to get Sridevi over there. Can we have one program which doesn't bring some or the other movie or TV star?

2. I found Aamir's reaction a little OTT today. The 'oohh', 'aahhh' & 'sss' were a little too much than absolutely needed.

My opinions:

The saddest part for me in today's episode was not the experiences shared by the victims but the lack of trust their parents had in them. It must be really traumatic to be abused in ones own house by someone who is considered a family friend. Imagine the sheer suffocation of not being able to vent out! Education is power. Hence I am of the opinion that every parent should sit down with his child & explain this issue to the kid in a manner in which he or she can understand. It is the duty of a parent to create confidence within their kids for themselves. As someone has wisely said, raising a child is much more difficult than giving birth. Very true indeed!

I will give this episode a 10/10 for the content & the workshop at the end.

Do you want a strong law against child sexual abuse? Sms Y/N (5782711)