Joint family vs Nuclear family....

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Pallavi

@-Pallavi-

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#91

Originally posted by: -Veena-
**** Hey guys.. the forum rules are not to be quoting more than 3 times as it takes long to for the pages to load. Just thought I'd let you know.. 😳

Sorry.... Didnt know this before....

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BeOptimistic

@allizzwell

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

#92

Originally posted by: reguser

Sorry.... Didnt know this before....

ME TOO........😭......Thanks Veena....!👍🏼

Edited by laxmi_s - 15 years ago

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Pallavi

@-Pallavi-

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#93

Ok, I dont want to quote anybody in this now.....as it will be like "Hanuman's poonch"😆

This is indirectly about JF.

Just have a doubt about Suhana's father. He knew Suhana's nature very well. And he came to know Ishan's house and the people living there. Their simplicity, love towards each other etc....Ok, he may be unaware of the sad pasts of Rada bua, Badi ma and all the stories. Still why did he not think whether they will be able to adjust to Suhana? Or is it shown and did i miss? (Havent seen one /two episodes in between).

I understand his fatherly love and the reasons for him to get a boy like Ishan for Suhana. But somehow I feel, he just thought about his daughter's happiness and didnt think much about their family. He was tensed when Suhana didnt pick up the call. And he was sure something is wrong and Suhana is angry at him. And also he was asking Ishan whether there were any glass-throwing incidents by Suhana.

Ok, this is a serial and we all know how the story proceeds. But girls' fathers will think well before marrying their daughters to JF right? This thinking can be bi-directional, some fathers (whose daughters are normal and not a toofan like Suhana 😆) will think whether their daughters will be able to adjust in this JF and fathers like Suhana's should think whether the family will adjust to their daughters.

Is it shown anywhere where he thought about the consequences?

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BeOptimistic

@allizzwell

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

#94

@reguser

Pallavi, your question is very very valid yaar.... No they have not shown whether Suhana will be able to adjust to the family nor whether the family will be able to adjust to Suhana.... It was just his perspective of his positive approach towards Ishaan's family members that prompted him to present Suhana's proposal.....

In a way it was shown by his reaction and his gestures to them that he was completely taken aback when he sensed the comfort level among the family members. He was anyways hooked on to many proposals for Suhana ... so this one came across to him as a perfect one....

He anyways did not re-think whether Suhana would adjust in such a family as i guess he knows Suhana is quite kiddish and brattish in her thinking but felt confident ....this family is just right for her in all ways.... Suhana's kiddishness and her brattishness was also clearly aired when she would not be happy for any of the proposals her dad bought for her refusing them by stating their physical appearances.... For marraige with Ishaan she gave a complete nod when her dad asked her about it as she wanted to prove Sid's statements wrong.... her nod perhaps was misunderstood by her dad for acceptance of Ishaan with his family.....

He was and is now also quite confident that his daughter deserves the best and she got the best.......⭐️......So instead of his concern that whether his daughter would adjust or whether the family would adjust to her.... it was his dream to look out for one.....😃

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Shwetha

@Shwets1502

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#95

i was thinking may be suhaana's father thought suhaana knew abt the boy and family cos...

when suhaana's father brought so many other proposals for her..the kind of boys that she likes..she totally denied...and when she showed ishaan she quickly accepted...

now when a girl who was completly against getting married agrees to get married to a boy...he din think of anything else...

this is wat i feel...

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Pallavi

@-Pallavi-

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#96

@Laxmi,

Yes, u r right. He just got hooked to the family. He was very impressed with them and their love. So he was very sure his daughter will be safe there. And as Shwetha suggested Suhana also said "Yes" to the boy. So he thought Ishan and his family's love will change Suhana.

I like Suhana and her innocense. But I feel sad seeing badi ma and bua getting tensed due to Suhana. They had such a bad past and both of them are worried about Ishan now. Till now Rano doesnt know about this. Otherwise, she would have cried and cried and cried and .......

Such a lovely family indeed. Suhana is lucky.

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111192

@111192

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#97

I think while marring suhaana in kasyap family bajpaee's main concern was to give that love (family) to suhana which she missed all through her life...........and thus overlooked wether suaana would be able to adjust in a middle class setup after spending all her life in lap of luxuries and whether kasyap family wil be able to cater to the whims and fancies of suhana.

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Aparna

@*dewdrop~pearl*

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#98

Well, reguser, Love is an important ingredient of life. Otherwise, two people will not be getting married and make babies. Mere attraction between a man and a woman is itself science. Because it involves your hormones. And same love applies to other relationships too..

The reason Ishaan is patient with Suhana is definitely Love. But the point to be noted here is, he is using human psychology as a basis. He is not swayed away by pure emotions. If he did, he would have been irrational and illogical and would have been on his way to being a devdas.
He is using his rationale, timing, and set a tone so that he can tame her. For someone to tame a person, they have to have a perfect blend of temper (anger management), logic, which is again a science, timing (for this element one needs to have a thorough understanding of a personality. so certain level of Psychology is applied, which is again a science), he is managing Suhana's temper very well which is PR another science, at the dining table scene when Inder teased Suhana about giving away stuff she doesnt like, suhana looked up to Ishaan for help and he quietly stood up with a an expression I am deeply sorry. That gesture is called body language, which is again a science, which resulted in her trying to leave. Rano pitched in right away sensing something was wrong. To transpire that kind of reaction, one must have good HR skills quickly being able to involve higher authority. So, that's again a science!

And peole's actions are governed by governance of Law enforcement and justice system which are again another form of science. The system or society we live in is a science, Political science.

The entire human evolution and existence is based on science.

So, sorry dear I am not convinced 😆😆

I just love the way you have analysed and presented your entire view point using science👏! Even though I agree with what Pallavi said, after reading the above I am like 😕! Pls forget I talked about sun rising from west and stuff, now I dont want to be convinced about that 😆!

Btw one thing, can you give any scientific logic for why Ishan agreed to marry a girl like Suhana inspite of knowing everything about her, her past relationship with Sid, her nature and behaviour 😳? Ishan knows every member of his family very well, so dint he think how difficult it will be for them to adjust with a bahu like Suhana (who is totally different from Rajni & Disha) and how a girl like Suhana will adjust in his lifestyle 😳? Iss par bhi kuch science, logic vagaira shed karo pls 😆.

Arree yaar Appu... 😆Opposites attract!!! That's simple Physics yaar... 😆😆😆
Suhana had BF - Ishaan had none; Suhana short tempered - Ishaan cool headed; Suhana childish - Ishaan is matured; Suhana rich - Ishaan middle class; Suhana is pampered - Ishaan is down to earth and adjusting vaigaira vagaira... Aren't they opposites? 😆😆😆 Physics actually works in Love!!! 😆😆😆

Hmm ok 😆!

You are so good in analysing things from science perspective, actually I need your help 😉. You know I have an uncle (my mom's bro) who is a total aethist. He doesnt believe in God, Spirituality, Karma, Rebirth, Mahabharat/Ramayana, Astrology, or anything that doesnt have a proper scientific backing. He only believes in logic, science and maths. All of us are tired trying to convince him but instead he argues so much and silences us, infact just one sentence from his side is enough to silence us 'first you give me a scientific proof, logical evidence or mathematical calculations proving the existence of these, then I will believe you'! Now how is that possible, so he always wins in the argument and he tries to convince us to come out of these false beliefs . None of us have ever been able to support our belief with logic and science, so his stand always wins. But I guess if he was arguing with you, maybe you would have finally convinced him about all these with your logic and scientific explanations 😉. So can you please help me out in expressing these as well in terms of science and logic .

And btw, be careful when you type the spelling of 'vagaira' ok 😆, I was double careful 😆!

Edited by *dewdrop~pearl* - 15 years ago

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Aparna

@*dewdrop~pearl*

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#99

Originally posted by: vishmewell

You are a perfect bride Appu... 😳😳 You are gonna make somebody's life...😳😳🤗

Thank you soo much 🤗🤗!

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Aparna

@*dewdrop~pearl*

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#100

Originally posted by: laxmi_s
@Vishmewell......😛

Vish.... absolutely stunning views on a total ly new term NJF.... appreciate the compromises and the adjustments initially taken in the house keeping in view your husband's ambitions ..... well-deserved applause.....👏

U know some of the people in Jf end up sacrificing most of their priorities ..... In my mother-in-law's house itself , she messed up her life with all the sacrifices she did for my father-in-law's people....sadly to say now those people whom she trusted and valued so much those days care a damn for her and mostly are not even in talking terms..... I could not sense a bit of even humanity in such people.... due to this...to this day, she repents not spending much time with her children and the children too state missing that in their childhood days...... Sometimes some decisions need practicality aspect to the fore.......

@ Veena........😛

Very glad to know about u dear.... glad that your childhood belonged to a JF and now u wish it were for your kids too.... But dear, the values u have learnt itself is a boon to be passed on to their kids.... May be sub-consciously u can pass on those values in different small ways by narrating incidents of your experiences from your past.... they will be able to connect.....to many aspects in their life..👍🏼

I agree with you. Even my mom stayed in a JF, and she always talks about it to us. Since we stay out of India, our mom always talks to us about how things used to be when she was small, about our culture, values, etc. And am thankful to her for the way she brought up me and my sister, and the way she inculcated Indian culture and values in us.

My mom used to stay in a big house, with lot of aunts and cousin sisters and brothers. And not only one house, its like we have 3 big houses built on the same land with all the 3 houses filled with relatives, so even though my mom used to stay in one house with lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins, there were 2 other houses filled with relatives so it was not just about considering people in that one house, they all had to consider people in all the 3 houses ! For eg., if something special was cooked in one house, or some special fruit was brought, it HAD to be shared with other 3 houses as well! Sometimes by the time you share it with others, there will be nothing left for the people for whom it was actually brought ! But still my mom's mom and aunts used to strictly practice sharing.

Sometimes when me and my sis fights for small things, my mom says how worse things used to be back then, even if they got a small bar of chocolate, it needed to be broken into like 7-8 pieces and shared. And there was nothing like cousin sisters or cousin brothers, even cousins were considered equivalent to your own sister or brother. She also used to tell me lot of situations where justice was not done and how things like partiality and everything used to exist, and somehow it was always my mom's family who used to adjust the most in the JF, so everyone used to take them for granted and stuff. Infact there were situations where my mom was illtreated by an elder cousin sister of hers who would purposely show more affection towards her own sister and ignore my mom and all that, and since my mom never had her own elder sister, she used to always look up to this cousin to pamper her and stuff. And that cousin sister's father used to show partiality at times like bringing stuff for his children alone, but my mom's parents never even used to dream of doing such things. So sometimes its just not fair that my mom always had to share her things, always had to do the right things, irrespective of the way others treated her.

Godd, after hearing all her stories, me and my sis used to hate JF. Me and my sister would always tell her that if it was us in her place, we would have behaved differently with such people. The truth is, in todays world there is no value for NICENESS, the more nice you are, people just take you for granted and expect more from you. Only after seriels like BBB & SGP, we ever thought of these JF perspectives.

Edited by *dewdrop~pearl* - 15 years ago

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