Crisp Bytes SC - 9th Aug 13 - Page 6

Originally posted by: P020167

yes that is the dark side of arranged marriage. As you said even love marriage is a gamble. So the question is what choice had kumud. Saras called off marriage, parents thinking P is a nice guy as he belongs to a good family...

additionally remember it was not totally a shot in the dark...

BD had proposed marriage before LN did right? VC knew that BD was a respected member of society since that is how he was introduced whe BD first visited..

...considering the time compression...VC had to decide in one night...he must have felt a certain amount of comfort in the familiarity of a previous proposed marriage by BD family to P and went ahead...

EDIT:
also we need to keep in mind the perspective from the story always...
- kumud & VC did not know the high drama that happened in dubai
- saras is totally at fault here...when he called up kumud he did not give any reason for his rejection...suggest we all go through the phone call epi again...he was just saying its off, remove the shaadi ka jodaa, bye bye...and once even said all this is good for you...I am doing you a favor...
- when VC called up LN...neither did LN give any reason for saras behaviour nor say that the marriage is on.

- we have the liberty of seeing what happened.. but they did not!!

- so what are VC & Kumud supposed to think? Let me wait for a few days????
- Remember the marriage is next day morning!

- you have a girl who was officially engaged publicly then publicly rejected by saras (gumaan's dirty trick) then again publicly proposed by saras...who the world knew were then going out together...and now the groom is calling off the marriage...what face would VC have to show to the rest of the world?

- also we need to always keep the context please...this is a small village in a society which is still larglely conservative...

- all the concerns kumud highlighted in yesterday's epi about her family's prestige, her siblings laughed out and tainted by society are very real issues even now

...and prestige is not being highlighted here in a superficial way...it is about
- her father's standing in society / 'prathista'
- his pride / self respect
- his keeping one's head high
- his social parity with his peers in society and family
- his having to answer questions about his method of upbringing of his children
- his having to defend kumud's character
- his own lifetime of guilt for screwing up kumud's life (he had said yes both times - once to LN and once to saras)
- tremendous pressure to explain the why and why not for kumud and for the other kids
- his being the only head of the joint family
- his being reduced to a laughing stock - do baar topi pehnaya LN ke family mein

I suggest all of us try to internalize and feel if we can allow our father reduced to this!!!

Rom Com Runaway Bride type situations happen only in Hollywood and films...

the social and personal trauma and impact in real life are very insidious and detrimental...

AND that is what kumud was trying to say yesterday regarding destiny...
- considering she now knows P is lousy, she was saying I was anyway going to be put in a f****d up situation had I married P when the first proposal came up..
- After all the Ringa Ringa Roses with you... I am still back in the same situation
- so maybe there's a message here...whatever the reason, circumstances, compulsion etc. still here I am
- so maybe that was preordained.
- Had I been in the situation earlier I would have behaved like apha kumud even then (refer the precap)... I would not have taken shit from P.
- I was not able to do that till now because your action had destroyed my self-confidence ... refer her doubts about herself were the million dollar question finally answered by saras ... "Why did you reject my love? Was I not worth it at all?"
- Now she knows he rejected her not because of her but because of him.
- However, the dynamics have changed...there is water under the bridge...
- For the same reasons that she married P (her choice)...she will not go back crying to her dad (again her choice)...
- So yes she will sort this out

So you see the reference to destiny is not defeatist at all...she's saying maybe my karam-bhoomi is BD household...I tried to change my destiny...you did not want to marry me, I had an existing marriage proposal, I called you, you came, we fell in love...YET here I am for wahtever reasons...And its too late...

So now I will try to change my destiny here in this karam-bhoomi by taking the problems here head-on and changing it here...

Originally posted by: arshicritic

@ hotdogg - hats off to you, yesterday's post on Kumud's perspective, came true today- jadugar ji

@ Vaishali - good reading of Kumud's motives Vaishali, I stand corrected !

@vaishali

exactly!! ...we think alike...

I was editing my earlier post when you posted..😊

Wanted to check with you if there is any significance in the stumble / fall of kumud when she runs towards saras...

Originally posted by: hotdogg

additionally remember it was not totally a shot in the dark...

BD had proposed marriage before LN did right? VC knew that BD was a respected member of society since that is how he was introduced whe BD first visited..

...considering the time compression...VC had to decide in one night...he must have felt a certain amount of comfort in the familiarity of a previous proposed marriage by BD family to P and went ahead...

EDIT:
also we need to keep in mind the perspective from the story always...
- kumud & VC did not know the high drama that happened in dubai
- saras is totally at fault here...when he called up kumud he did not give any reason for his rejection...suggest we all go through the phone call epi again...he was just saying its off, remove the shaadi ka jodaa, bye bye...and once even said all this is good for you...I am doing you a favor...
- when VC called up LN...neither did LN give any reason for saras behaviour nor say that the marriage is on.

- we have the liberty of seeing what happened.. but they did not!!

- so what are VC & Kumud supposed to think? Let me wait for a few days????
- Remember the marriage is next day morning!

- you have a girl who was officially engaged publicly then publicly rejected by saras (gumaan's dirty trick) then again publicly proposed by saras...who the world knew were then going out together...and now the groom is calling off the marriage...what face would VC have to show to the rest of the world?

- also we need to always keep the context please...this is a small village in a society which is still larglely conservative...

- all the concerns kumud highlighted in yesterday's epi about her family's prestige, her siblings laughed out and tainted by society are very real issues even now

...and prestige is not being highlighted here in a superficial way...it is about
- her father's standing in society / 'prathista'
- his pride / self respect
- his keeping one's head high
- his social parity with his peers in society and family
- his having to answer questions about his method of upbringing of his children
- his having to defend kumud's character
- his own lifetime of guilt for screwing up kumud's life (he had said yes both times - once to LN and once to saras)
- tremendous pressure to explain the why and why not for kumud and for the other kids
- his being the only head of the joint family
- his being reduced to a laughing stock - do baar topi pehnaya LN ke family mein

I suggest all of us try to internalize and feel if we can allow our father reduced to this!!!

Rom Com Runaway Bride type situations happen only in Hollywood and films...

the social and personal trauma and impact in real life are very insidious and detrimental...

AND that is what kumud was trying to say yesterday regarding destiny...
- considering she now knows P is lousy, she was saying I was anyway going to be put in a f****d up situation had I married P when the first proposal came up..
- After all the Ringa Ringa Roses with you... I am still back in the same situation
- so maybe there's a message here...whatever the reason, circumstances, compulsion etc. still here I am
- so maybe that was preordained.
- Had I been in the situation earlier I would have behaved like apha kumud even then (refer the precap)... I would not have taken shit from P.
- I was not able to do that till now because your action had destroyed my self-confidence ... refer her doubts about herself were the million dollar question finally answered by saras ... "Why did you reject my love? Was I not worth it at all?"
- Now she knows he rejected her not because of her but because of him.
- However, the dynamics have changed...there is water under the bridge...
- For the same reasons that she married P (her choice)...she will not go back crying to her dad (again her choice)...
- So yes she will sort this out

So you see the reference to destiny is not defeatist at all...she's saying maybe my karam-bhoomi is BD household...I tried to change my destiny...you did not want to marry me, I had an existing marriage proposal, I called you, you came, we fell in love...YET here I am for wahtever reasons...And its too late...

So now I will try to change my destiny here in this karam-bhoomi by taking the problems here head-on and changing it here...

I empathize with Kumud in her efforts to try and mend her marriage. She has been sincere since day 1 on this front.

Originally posted by: hotdogg

additionally remember it was not totally a shot in the dark...

BD had proposed marriage before LN did right? VC knew that BD was a respected member of society since that is how he was introduced whe BD first visited..

...considering the time compression...VC had to decide in one night...he must have felt a certain amount of comfort in the familiarity of a previous proposed marriage by BD family to P and went ahead...

EDIT:
also we need to keep in mind the perspective from the story always...
- kumud & VC did not know the high drama that happened in dubai
- saras is totally at fault here...when he called up kumud he did not give any reason for his rejection...suggest we all go through the phone call epi again...he was just saying its off, remove the shaadi ka jodaa, bye bye...and once even said all this is good for you...I am doing you a favor...
- when VC called up LN...neither did LN give any reason for saras behaviour nor say that the marriage is on.

- we have the liberty of seeing what happened.. but they did not!!

- so what are VC & Kumud supposed to think? Let me wait for a few days????
- Remember the marriage is next day morning!

- you have a girl who was officially engaged publicly then publicly rejected by saras (gumaan's dirty trick) then again publicly proposed by saras...who the world knew were then going out together...and now the groom is calling off the marriage...what face would VC have to show to the rest of the world?

- also we need to always keep the context please...this is a small village in a society which is still larglely conservative...

- all the concerns kumud highlighted in yesterday's epi about her family's prestige, her siblings laughed out and tainted by society are very real issues even now

...and prestige is not being highlighted here in a superficial way...it is about
- her father's standing in society / 'prathista'
- his pride / self respect
- his keeping one's head high
- his social parity with his peers in society and family
- his having to answer questions about his method of upbringing of his children
- his having to defend kumud's character
- his own lifetime of guilt for screwing up kumud's life (he had said yes both times - once to LN and once to saras)
- tremendous pressure to explain the why and why not for kumud and for the other kids
- his being the only head of the joint family
- his being reduced to a laughing stock - do baar topi pehnaya LN ke family mein

I suggest all of us try to internalize and feel if we can allow our father reduced to this!!!

Rom Com Runaway Bride type situations happen only in Hollywood and films...

the social and personal trauma and impact in real life are very insidious and detrimental...

AND that is what kumud was trying to say yesterday regarding destiny...
- considering she now knows P is lousy, she was saying I was anyway going to be put in a f****d up situation had I married P when the first proposal came up..
- After all the Ringa Ringa Roses with you... I am still back in the same situation
- so maybe there's a message here...whatever the reason, circumstances, compulsion etc. still here I am
- so maybe that was preordained.
- Had I been in the situation earlier I would have behaved like apha kumud even then (refer the precap)... I would not have taken shit from P.
- I was not able to do that till now because your action had destroyed my self-confidence ... refer her doubts about herself were the million dollar question finally answered by saras ... "Why did you reject my love? Was I not worth it at all?"
- Now she knows he rejected her not because of her but because of him.
- However, the dynamics have changed...there is water under the bridge...
- For the same reasons that she married P (her choice)...she will not go back crying to her dad (again her choice)...
- So yes she will sort this out

So you see the reference to destiny is not defeatist at all...she's saying maybe my karam-bhoomi is BD household...I tried to change my destiny...you did not want to marry me, I had an existing marriage proposal, I called you, you came, we fell in love...YET here I am for wahtever reasons...And its too late...

So now I will try to change my destiny here in this karam-bhoomi by taking the problems here head-on and changing it here...

@pasumarthisa

I agree with you completely on this...

In fact smrth has highlighted that even in the novel kumud is consistently let down at all times by the men she trusts the most - VC & saras - men who always keep their own needs first and sacrifice kumud's in the bargain...

In the show's adapatation the makers have tried to round off saras character (since he's the lead) by showing the back-story of the trauma of his mother's suicide to explain away his actions..

But for me personally...there is no reprieve for either on this no matter how much they justify...

Both may have a lot of good & will do good for kumud...

But when the accounts are settled...while they will get rewards points for the good...there is no escaping their culpability for kumud's current condition...it is entirely of their making...

YET fom a Cause & Effect perspective...saras still has the majority proportion of the same...since his phone call started it all...VC hands just got tied further when it started..

Originally posted by: hotdogg

@vaishali

exactly!! ...we think alike...

I was editing my earlier post when you posted..😊

Wanted to check with you if there is any significance in the stumble / fall of kumud when she runs towards saras...

Originally posted by: hotdogg

Nandy...check out my post in last epi CB...will help...
BTW I am one of the few lone ranger types supporting kumud's POV...so need all the support I can get..

😉

Hotdog sir ji, always a pleasure to read your insightful, indepth, Logical, aapke charan kahan hai wale posts.

Forgive my curt, incoherent responses. I just got back from a long trip, now leaving for another trip and expecting guests the day I return!!!

This is not about judging, criticizing or blaming Kumud. I have a problem with the thought process, the writing. I have had no issues in the past with Kumud's 'pride and ego', decision making... she is flawed but has some remarkable, admirable qualities. But yesterday she sounded just like a typical SP wohu to me... ... self righteous ( so not my types)

Two examples to explain my discontent in brief - VC's decision to get Kumud married off on the same day as planned to prove a point to LN was an emotional decision. Does one get the apple of their eye married off in haste without checking any info on the boy? Atleast he knew LN well when he agreed to Saras' proposal and Kumud did have a say in the matter. The circumstances were different then, agreed.

Kumud's decision may have seemed practical to her at that moment, to marry for family honor and for sake of siblings. She said 'jazbaaton main behke nahi kiya hai faisla'... really? there was no emotions involved even though a part of her died with his refusal to marry this time.???? If someone needs to be blamed...everyone is at fault, Saras and VC more than anyone else. And jazbaat were involved in making the decision.

Kumud who fought to bring a computer to her village, who is progressive in her thinking says she gave in to her destiny, Pramad was destined to marry her??

Somewhere at the back of my mind, my fear resurfaced after yesterday's episode... SLB and SP giving similar justification on why Kumud will not/ can not marry Saras towards the end! SO basically, following the novel with 'modern day adaptation' by SP and SLB standards!!!🤢

SP, SLB - all are here for the moolah, so TRPs will definitely have an impact on the story lines, the difference will be in the presentation.

Quoting another fellow CBian who makes 'aapke charan kahan hai' wale posts😃

Originally posted by: smrth

Now as the track is unfolding, they sure will emphasise 'decisive' Kumud. They may well turn this into a popular, kumud and ex/current beau front against 'domestic violence' etc. Good for a 'message'. But sorry puritans, it never is a point in this story. Besides, for all jingoism, don't see how honest would be a self effacing (marriage) turned assertive- beatification of a character that may well cater a politically correct messages in a good visibility medium, but in the process, veers too far off from the natural course of the original story. Or else, ideally, let us get her marching/walking off from the 'sham' marriage, straight into waiting arms, and a fine slap in the face of spurious Dhans and belittling DV...

But wait, since they are 'also' following a 'written fiction', let's see, how now they are shaping a 'choosing' Kumud, preserving at least some nuances of original conflict as given in the source- her 'non choice' and her original 'choice'. Which has ultimately induced a certain pivotal point of the story leading to act 3.

We may then have better picture how much 'originality' they have had discarded to TRP complying, politically correct, diversions.

Originally posted by: hotdogg

@pasumarthisa

I agree with you completely on this...

In fact smrth has highlighted that even in the novel kumud is consistently let down at all times by the men she trusts the most - VC & saras - men who always keep their own needs first and sacrifice kumud's in the bargain...

In the show's adapatation the makers have tried to round off saras character (since he's the lead) by showing the back-story of the trauma of his mother's suicide to explain away his actions..

But for me personally...there is no reprieve for either on this no matter how much they justify...

Both may have a lot of good & will do good for kumud...

But when the accounts are settled...while they will get rewards points for the good...there is no escaping their culpability for kumud's current condition...it is entirely of their making...

YET fom a Cause & Effect perspective...saras still has the majority proportion of the same...since his phone call started it all...VC hands just got tied further when it started..