Infidelity.. a desperation or a compulsion

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple".--Oscar Wilde

In general, we approach a concept about "infidelity" and "deception" with a much closed mind and we are reluctant to speak about it, as we feel that these discussions are not needed as majority of people are 100% honest. "Someone else's partner can be deceptive, but not someone close to me", this is our general approach. When it comes to love and marriage, people expect a spouse to be completely honest, but everyone as a human values their freedom and privacy. People in love try to woo each other especially during courtship days, when the world seems nothing in front of the beloved. Our close relationships sometime take a lot of truth telling as well as some dishonesty.

Love is never straightforward and unchanging, but we run away from this reality. Love creates both happiness as well as heartaches.It gives such happiness that no one can dream, but the other extreme is also very sorrowful. But unfortunately deception comes in handy when people want to limit their partner's choices, try to control the partner, avoid conflict or contradictions and when people want to influence their partner's behavior and do not give the partner room to breathe. "Suffocating love" also brings in deception and infidelity.

This post I am making solely to discuss the issues of Indrajeet and Vasu's relationship. It's pretty obvious that Indrajeet deceived Vasu sometime somehow and the end result is Anand. Although, we are yet to know the fact, but still without knowing the details, it might be interesting to discuss about this. Indrajeet is a character who is probably not a compulsive flirt, and he liked and chose Vasu over CM. So what must be his desperation within one year of marriage, or are we yet to see the compulsive side of Indrajeet.

I think Vasu's egoistic nature and arrogant thinking might have lead him to infidelity. I am not saying that is a excuse.......just a possible reason. Sometimes a lot of things can leave you to doing something like infidelity. Though we associate it with a flirt, cheater, pervert so forth. Its more related to emotions sometimes. Just because people are married doesn't mean that they are happy. Yes, you take vows, you make promises and so forth, but a lot of people change also. I believe that a person should try their best in fulfilling a marriage, respect its meanings, base it on love, trust and care. But if you don't have those basic elements, then no one should be forced into staying in that marriage. However, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't work on those elements or go ahead and cheat on your spouse. But you will never understand the feeling of that person who is in a relationship and feels they are "stuck". As you said we don't know the facts between Vasu and Inderjeet, we don't know his reasons for infidelity. Was this girl the love of his life before the marriage or before Vasu. Was a it a weak moment? Was it even real, meaning more like a trap from the girl? Its really hard to judge what went wrong because situations like these are more emotional then anything. Its easier to judge a perverted spouse that goes off and cheats with multiple people, we can bluntly say that person is a cheap person and you deserve better. But when we deal with relationships that have no meaning or that has lost its value, its really hard to judge who was a fault. Cheating is never right and will never be right, but to blame just one is not also correct. Vasu might be just as guilty in pushing Inderjeet to his limit or Inderjeet might just have been a young arrogant man whos hormones were not in place. Only facts and both sides of the story can decide on those judgements.

Originally posted by: taral83

I think Vasu's egoistic nature and arrogant thinking might have lead him to infidelity. I am not saying that is a excuse.......just a possible reason. Sometimes a lot of things can leave you to doing something like infidelity. Though we associate it with a flirt, cheater, pervert so forth. Its more related to emotions sometimes. Just because people are married doesn't mean that they are happy. Yes, you take vows, you make promises and so forth, but a lot of people change also. I believe that a person should try their best in fulfilling a marriage, respect its meanings, base it on love, trust and care. But if you don't have those basic elements, then no one should be forced into staying in that marriage. However, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't work on those elements or go ahead and cheat on your spouse. But you will never understand the feeling of that person who is in a relationship and feels they are "stuck". As you said we don't know the facts between Vasu and Inderjeet, we don't know his reasons for infidelity. Was this girl the love of his life before the marriage or before Vasu. Was a it a weak moment? Was it even real, meaning more like a trap from the girl? Its really hard to judge what went wrong because situations like these are more emotional then anything. Its easier to judge a perverted spouse that goes off and cheats with multiple people, we can bluntly say that person is a cheap person and you deserve better. But when we deal with relationships that have no meaning or that has lost its value, its really hard to judge who was a fault. Cheating is never right and will never be right, but to blame just one is not also correct. Vasu might be just as guilty in pushing Inderjeet to his limit or Inderjeet might just have been a young arrogant man whos hormones were not in place. Only facts and both sides of the story can decide on those judgements.

Originally posted by: Omshanti1111

very well said Taral..sometimes, even the best of courtship does not lead to a successful marriage. I have myself seen this with few of my friends..very practical example..

seeing Vasu, we ourselves out of joke , used to say that Indu should have a extra marital affair...how can someone stay with a character like Vasu...so manipulative and controlling

Originally posted by: taral83

your right manipulative and controlling..........but he has lasted so long.........if he was that unhappy from the start of their marriage....he should have ended it a long time ago. He is also a part of this controlling and manipulative behavior in Vasu. He has never yelled at her or so forth in the early stages, and now it is totally out of hand where not even Inderjeet can do anything about. I think if he threatened to divorce her back then....she probably would have straightened up..........I don't believe in divorces just for convieniences......but I also don't believe that people should have to stay together when they are totally unhappy.

you remember the dialogue of Vau, that Indrajeet stayed back because of the property.

I do remember the property convo between Vasu and Inderjeet. And it seems that again, Vasu has used the power of money to obtain what she wants. Using other peoples "majbori for money" to "buy" her desire. I think as arrogant and egoistic as Vasu is, I am suprised that she didn't leave Inderjeet after knowing he cheated. Any self-respected individual would have said "bye looser".......ofcourse if facts prove him guilty.

Originally posted by: taral83

I do remember the property convo between Vasu and Inderjeet. And it seems that again, Vasu has used the power of money to obtain what she wants. Using other peoples "majbori for money" to "buy" her desire. I think as arrogant and egoistic as Vasu is, I am suprised that she didn't leave Inderjeet after knowing he cheated. Any self-respected individual would have said "bye looser".......ofcourse if facts prove him guilty.

I'ld rather think that Vasu loves Indrajeet as well as her family. I think Vasu ahs got the power as dadaji wa aware of Inder's mistakes and lest he gives his property to his second woman and child. So Dadaji played safe and kept everything in Alekh's name... I think Inder stayed back because of monetray issues with Vasu...rather I'ld say that although Vasu is arrogant and the ways are bad, she still tries to think about the family.

Originally posted by: Omshanti1111

I'ld rather think that Vasu loves Indrajeet as well as her family. I think Vasu ahs got the power as dadaji wa aware of Inder's mistakes and lest he gives his property to his second woman and child. So Dadaji played safe and kept everything in Alekh's name... I think Inder stayed back because of monetray issues with Vasu...rather I'ld say that although Vasu is arrogant and the ways are bad, she still tries to think about the family.

Indrajeet should not have stayed with Vasu just for wealth...we are to see his part as well as Vasu's

Well as far as I remember Inderjit probably did'nt have any affair befor marriage as he himself selected vasu over Ambika. I think coz of Vasu's controlling nature he drifetd apart from her and started having an affair with this aldy and wanted to leave with this lady and I think Dadaji must have threatened him coz of his izzat and all that if he leaves Vasu he will not have any share in the property. Remeber Ambika words to Vasu at time before Ragvir's marriage that she is repeating the same thing that happened 20 yrs ago and we were wondering what happened then.

Originally posted by: Omshanti1111

very well said Taral..sometimes, even the best of courtship does not lead to a successful marriage. I have myself seen this with few of my friends..very practical example..

seeing Vasu, we ourselves out of joke , used to say that Indu should have a extra marital affair...how can someone stay with a character like Vasu...so manipulative and controlling

May be Vasu is what she is today because of what she went through in life??? May be she was fending for her children and family? Otherwise why would Inderjeet's father vest all powers in Vasu? May be Vasu is not to be judged by what she is today?

I think we should know Vasu's side of story before we judge her as a good human being, good wife and a good mother... I believe in Innocence until proven guilty.