||DOTW|| Honesty - a neccessary virtue?

Hello my dear Saathiyans!

It's my turn to come up with a topic for DOTW, so here it is!

The last few weeks have left me really disturbed and there are many questions buzzing in my head😕. Thought I could raise one of them in the DOTW...hopefully I will get an answer and it will give my distressed mind some relief!

It's always said that honesty is a necessary virtue to sustain any relationship. We have seen many relationships in SNS and inspite of everything, all of them have sustained so far. However, the relationship that baffles me the most is RaJi. The marriage itself was based on a lie, as Rashi tricked Jigar into marrying him. Every day after that, Rashi has never been honest with Jigar. Even when she is being the loving wife, it is all an act to convince Jigar. She consummated the marriage not out of love for Jigar but when Urmi started pressurizing her to get pregnant after Gopi's pregnancy was announced. On the other hand, we have Jigar who till some time back I believed was unaware of Rashi's true nature. But of late I am having doubts on that as well. He is in love but with an image of Rashi he has created in his head and not with the real Rashi. Today, they are happily stepping into the next phase; that is, they are going to be parents and yet the fact remains that there is no honesty in their relationship. There were hiccups, but over all RaJi have led a happy married life and it bothers me to see CVs justify a relationship which is only based on lies.

So my question for discussion is, is it possible to sustain a relationship without any honesty and yet be happy? None of us can claim to be as honest as a Koki, so how much dishonesty is acceptable?

nice topic Deepa ⭐️ will b bak later

Deepa, such a great topic😛

Taken at first, it does look like RaJi relationship is a very happy one right? That they have succeeded and are doing good enough?

But is that really true? If it is, why does Rashi have to pretend all the time and why does she keep telling her mom that if the family knew what she had done, then they will send her out?

Fear Deepa.. Fear that if the truth came out, then she will not stand a chance is what drives Rashi. And will keep her occupied the rest of her life.

Honesty is usually the best policy IMHO. But it also depends on who you are being to. Is Rashi even being honest to herself? I don't think so.

As for Jigar, he is blindly fooling himself and is trying not to break his illusions of a happy family. Something he has dreamed on for so long.. even before Ahem was actually married..

There is a problem though in this pretense. As years move on, one forgets to pretend. We may never see that in SNS but that is what happens in reality. You can go on pretending for a year, two years, three years.. but lifelong? How long can you stay blind to the faults of someone you actually do not love?😕

Look at Koki and Parag.. I am sure Koki has been honest, blunt actually about what she feels for Parag. He has been the same with her. They lived in compromise with times when Koki has shown her frustration about Parag's inability to do well.
But there have also been times when they have both been pillars of strength for each other. The love they have for the other was seen in the Jigna track.. Whatever happened, however angry, Parag was indeed happy to see his wife support him in his designs.

This would not have been possible if there had not been honesty in their relationship. Both always knew where they stood with each other.

I see a few years down the line as Rashi makes for the family fortune as she is the mother of the 'heir' and as Jigar sees his family unravel, his cousin Ahem and his family walk out being fed up with Rashi and he constant tantrums...
I see Jigar then feeling bitter and starting to hate Rashi, The vice versa will also happen. Rashi who is currently enjoying the benefits of a house that is united will soon see when she is alone that the wealth and the comforts were the result of years of togetherness.. When she starts losing those, she will blame Jigar and hate him for not being upto others..

That is where this dishonesty will lead them. A lifelong relationship cannot go around lies for long Deepa. Truth has an uncanny way of showing up at all the wrong places and when you least expect it😊

Great DOTW!! 👏

Originally posted by: Justlikethat1

Deepa, such a great topic😛

Taken at first, it does look like RaJi relationship is a very happy one right? That they have succeeded and are doing good enough?

But is that really true? If it is, why does Rashi have to pretend all the time and why does she keep telling her mom that if the family knew what she had done, then they will send her out?

Fear Deepa.. Fear that if the truth came out, then she will not stand a chance is what drives Rashi. And will keep her occupied the rest of her life.

Honesty is usually the best policy IMHO. But it also depends on who you are being to. Is Rashi even being honest to herself? I don't think so.

As for Jigar, he is blindly fooling himself and is trying not to break his illusions of a happy family. Something he has dreamed on for so long.. even before Ahem was actually married..

There is a problem though in this pretense. As years move on, one forgets to pretend. We may never see that in SNS but that is what happens in reality. You can go on pretending for a year, two years, three years.. but lifelong? How long can you stay blind to the faults of someone you actually do not love?😕

Look at Koki and Parag.. I am sure Koki has been honest, blunt actually about what she feels for Parag. He has been the same with her. They lived in compromise with times when Koki has shown her frustration about Parag's inability to do well.
But there have also been times when they have both been pillars of strength for each other. The love they have for the other was seen in the Jigna track.. Whatever happened, however angry, Parag was indeed happy to see his wife support him in his designs.

This would not have been possible if there had not been honesty in their relationship. Both always knew where they stood with each other.

I see a few years down the line as Rashi makes for the family fortune as she is the mother of the 'heir' and as Jigar sees his family unravel, his cousin Ahem and his family walk out being fed up with Rashi and he constant tantrums...
I see Jigar then feeling bitter and starting to hate Rashi, The vice versa will also happen. Rashi who is currently enjoying the benefits of a house that is united will soon see when she is alone that the wealth and the comforts were the result of years of togetherness.. When she starts losing those, she will blame Jigar and hate him for not being upto others..

That is where this dishonesty will lead them. A lifelong relationship cannot go around lies for long Deepa. Truth has an uncanny way of showing up at all the wrong places and when you least expect it😊

Originally posted by: doc4ever

Great DOTW!! 👏

Insecurity and Jealousy are two characteristics that Rashi has grown. Added to the fear component that Harini has mentioned...⭐️ I feel that these developments that have caused her to succumb to actions that are beyond evil...🤢 She has forgotten what it means to be honest in her relationships. RaJi marriage is flawed from the inside but on the outside it would exhibit perfection. Jigar, I feel sometimes pretends to avoid controversy when it comes to his wife's wrong-doings and instead of correcting her, it gets pushed back but yet these mistakes consistently happen. His mother doesn't help either with her "letting go" of situations that occur. Honesty is a quality that you need to imbibe in yourself if you want to have a clear consciousness...I know Urmi doesn't help with matters in RaJi's relationship as her interference creates that uncertainty and insecurity in Rashi to do what she does..But isn't it time that she taught her mother some good? 😕 And stop letting her mother take control of her actions. She herself is becoming a mother..but for selfish reasons...🤢 I do pray and hope that her twins do transform her into a loving, honest person that will teach her the value of being a human being and the respect of her relationships with her family by firstly being honest with herself so that she can one day tread the path of righteousness. Hope this answer makes sense...Not sure if I just went into another rant here...😕😳

Nice topic Dipsy. 😃

I agree to a certain extent about Rashi Xari.. She did start out being clear as to what she wanted. I will not fault her for wanting financially settled groom and a luxurious house.. To be frank, that is what most dream of or atleast look for when they get married..especially in an arranged marriage.

But the fact is, was Rashi completely honest to even herself that this is all she needed? I do not think so.
If all she needed was a luxurious family and a Lallu husband, rest be assured, she got it.. But she is not ready to see that. She is bent on ruining what Gopi has more than wanting something for herself.

If she was totally honest with herself would she have not seen that she got what she said and dreamed she wanted.. But it looks like she never sees this. She always looks at Gopi and wants what she has.. Even if that is not what she, Rashi needs or wants actually.

As for Hetal and Jigar, I totally agree.. There is something called as a sweet poison.. One can be sure of one's enemies but can never be sure of the sugary sweet, sucking up person next to you. .They are neither honest to themselves or to you..

Originally posted by: Xarina

Nice topic Dipsy. 😃

I think that there are actually a few more than two people who are not honest in their relationship. We have the two that are uppermost in our firing line. Rashi who does not know the meaning of honesty, was probably missing from her gene pool looking at Urmila and Jigar. Both are not honest with themselves let alone each other. Jigar is actually living a lie in the belief that Rashi has feelings for him. I am sure he must have an inkling! Rashi on the other hand is only honest to herself. All she wanted from the very beginning was a meal ticket and a good life. If you remember from the very beginning the promos would show Rashi asking how big the prospective boy's bank balance was. Neither she, nor her mother see anything wrong in that and to be totally honest is there anything wrong in that? Prospective in laws will expect the girl to be able to carry out household chores and whatnot. But I would like to move to another person who I feel is being dishonest. Hetal. Previously I thought that she was a very nice and sweet natured person and I remember at times thinking that she is so much better than Koki. But, whoah, how wrong was I. She has been shown to be the most blinkered, easily influenced person there is and another one who is not honest to herself. I will finish this off later. I am going round in circles now, if I haven't already been.😆