Before I spell out my hypothetical solutions let me say few words first – as a prelude. In case of most the situations in real life there is no perfect snap point where one can see the complete picture in pure black and white. All the time we live in an infinitely spread out grayscale shades. We take small decisions, small steps every day every minute. So there can't be a perfect solution to resolve any of these situations. Also my answers will be like an external entity – no one can presume their reaction before the actual action or circumstances arrive.
Originally posted by: adi_0112
Anolda,
My questions are based on hypothetical situations bearing no resemblance to situations to any known individuals including me. Some of these situations we often come across in movies but are also quite possible to face them in real lives as well. They have haunted me at times, so I would like an expert's opinion on it.
Imagine, you are your parents' only son. Your mom's world starts and ends with you. You go and fall in love with this very nice girl who is an orphan brought up by some distant relatives who are not very nice to her. Then you get married to her and start living happily with wife and parents. Your wife is a very loving and caring kind of a person .Your mom and wife get very possessive about you and this leads to a big ego problem between the two. Both get nasty to each other and you cannot blame either one alone. You have tried your best to make each one feel secure but in vain. One fine day they both come and tell you "chose either her or me". What will you do?? Who will you choose???
First I will ask myself – how did we land up in this situation! If everyone in the picture is so nice people – did I do anything wrong? It can't possibly happen within a day or two (apart from Ekta Kapoor's Soaps).
But hypothetically, if this situation arrives and I find myself in this sticky situation – first I'll try to sit down with both of them and go through a logical reasoning discussion. If that doesn't work; I will try emotionally blackmailing both of them, dramatize and exaggerate my emotions; by any means I'll make them agree to at least a cease fire timeline.
Then the actual 'work' will start. I will need to think about all perceptional mismatch and wrong representations of acts and settle them one by one – in a very subtle manner. Best way to go out for a vacation all together – outside the mundane day to day life – where the scars of the conflicts are still very fresh. Change of place will hopefully tone down the contextual references of small issues too.
Returning back – I will need to take care of every minute details, any small sign of conflict arise in the horizon, I need to be vigilant and put off the fire ASAP.
Also I will find out the 'external factors' of the conflicts, meddlesome neighbor to intrusive relatives and minimize their interference as much as possible with a strong hand.
The wound will take long time to heal – but I am a patient man – I will wait till the day when both of them will fight together against me over something. Then I'll need to think about resolving that problem, but that's another story! 😛
Imagine you have a friend who is going through a rough patch financially. One fine day you hear that his loved one is in coma and in life support. Doctors have no clue whether this person will come out of this situation or will if at all come out of coma. After a month of observing, the doctors tell him that he has to take a decision regarding continuing the life support since doctors cannot really tell of the possibilities. Your friend in the meanwhile is up to his necks in debt paying for all the expenses. He cannot think of a life without this person either. He comes to you for advice. What would you suggest ??? Euthanasia or continuation of support??
Few months back if I faced the same question – I might have given you a complete different answer. But now I can say for this one at least – I faced a almost similar situation regarding my grandfather, who passed away recently. He suffered prolonged illness of abdominal cancer.
I believe rather than suggesting something I need to ask my friend a question first – Can he bear the guilt of giving up?
I think this kind of decision matters very little to the people who leave the mortal world, what matters most, the scars they leave behind on the hearts of nearest people. It's a different perspective – that's why, the aftermath of my friend's life will be the fulcrum of this decision making – nothing else.
I could go into the detail of this – but I do not like jugglery of words and romanticism with a matter like death.
Imagine you are very much in love with a girl who loves you too. One day there is a big misunderstanding, you two fight and break up and don't meet gain. With passage of time you get used to life without her thanks to your best friend (your mothers best friends daughter) who pulls you out of the misery. One day your folks tell you to marry your best friend and you agree. Your best friend, now your fiance tells you that all these years she had always secretly hoped that you would marry her and loves you a lot. You are happy with the alliance but that extra zing is somehow missing. About a week before marriage you bump into your ex girlfriend accidentally and sit down for a cup of coffee. Over coffee you realise that both of you were victim of circumstances and neither of you were at fault. Had you both sat down and talked things out, things could have easily been sorted out. Both of you realise that you love each other a lot .If you break up with your fiance, your entire family, her entire family and your best friend will be devastated for life. What will you do?? Go get married to your fiance or marry your ex.??? Please give reasons for your choice.
This one is a classic Ekta Kapoor case! I mean – come on now, if my 'first love' had such a great 'potential' how it turned up to be so fragile that we can become the victims of such a frivolous circumstances, which could have easily sorted out 'if we sat down and talks things out'? Apart from a mistake of heart, if any other circumstantial interference were able to break my relationship – it can't possibly suppose to work in future either. And if, return of this not-so-true-love is making me reconsider my decision of marrying the other girl – I should stop myself to get married to her also. I seriously need go through a big round over maturity continuum before I get married at all – to anyone!!
Imagine yourself as a business partner with your buddy from college. You both are very compatible mentally, your ideas match, the work is good and business is flourishing. You have very high opinion of him and he seems very loving and caring kind to you. One day accidentally you see a very mean personal side of your partner. At home he is abusive to his wife and kids and mentally tortures them. He also frequently cheats on his wife. You were totally in the dark before of this side. After seeing this side of him and the trauma his family has to go through because of his darker side, what will you do? Continue being his partner or get out of the partnership?? Please substantiate your choice.
I strongly believe – live is an indivisible whole – a person can't be cheating his wife and be honest at workplace. I can give you plenty of examples from my real life experience – but this is not a suitable place for that. I'll immediately cut off every link with that person ASAP – even though it might case a big turbulence in my business.
Imagine a situation ;
You and your wife have always dreamt that your daughter will be a famous doctor one day and from her childhood you have got this idea instilled in her brain and she also starts thinking that way. She is waiting for her high school results and is sure to get A+ grade to get admission to med school. One day while she is waiting for the results, she watches a documentary on a third world country and is moved beyond words on the suffering of the children over there. It overwhelms her so much that she instantly decides she doesn't want to do medicine but become a teacher and teach in a third world country.
She comes and tells you both about her plan. She is adamant that is what she wants to do. What will you both do?? Dissuade her from her chosen path and bring her back to your dreams or let her follow her own dreams? Explain your choice please.
Adi I wish from bottom of my heart this situation comes true for me one day. And I am not saying this just for heck of it – I mean it, with my whole heart. Common man like me – came to this world without the knowledge of my destiny and purpose, at least with this I can be proud of over my DNA.
I guess for the time being these are enough. I shall be back with more later on.
More!!! You better not dare to do that!!! 😡
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