OS: Yesterday and Tomorrow--Repentance-Completed.

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

Anushka

@bebo2050

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

#311

after reading this , i wanted something like this to happen in RR , it wud be to much for audiences but still different . ur writting is amazing .

redemption nxt , that will be interesting , i luv redemption tracks

Edited by bebo2050 - 11 years ago

Quote

deep0909

@deep0909

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#312

Fantastic... I wish it had continued though. Why do you say complete?

Please please can you complete the marriage track? Did the tailor stitch the clothes and dance in the baraat? did major ask her to marry him or the other way?

what happens when Paro is in the haveli? are there no stories from there?

Have I missed any of ther OS that is part of this series... this thought is tearing me up! Have you linked all the ones correctly? can we have all links on the same page even if they are continuations of one OS?

Love love love this series napster! muah muah! I really don't know you and shouldn't be kissing you :-)

But I truly want to show my appreciation of your series... truly love it girl!

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

1sarun

@1sarun

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#313

Thanks for the long update, lovey read.

Quote

HappilyLost

@HappilyLost

Beginner

Posted: 11 years ago

#314

Only one thing came to my mind after reading this, WHAT AN END!!!

I know I have asked you the same question again and again and wont stop even now, but How do you manage? How do you manage to describe each and every emotion so beautifully? How do you manage to get these amazing symbolisms, comparing Parvati to a bloodied doe, spreading her wings to protect the jallad? How?

You don't need to answer that anyway. Consider it as the mindless ramblings of a person who is so amazed by your work that reason, logic and even sanity is beyond her!

Rurda's desperation was beautifully portrayed. There is one amazing thing about your updates! They are long monologues, with just a few dialogues and trust me I love stories with a lot of dialogues. But those few words manage to capture almost everything and are so heart wrenchingly beautiful that you will sit there for almost 2 minutes staring at the screen wondering how a small sentence can have so many hidden emotions.

I liked it how Parvati's plans go down the drain when the jallad does not even demand forgiveness, yet suffers terribly. She remains seated, mesmerised by his bruises, his words, and his obsession and forgets all her plans. Her innocence, the fact that she can never hurt somebody, intentionally or unintentionally is so striking ,even better than the show itself.

So he died right? That sadist Jasheem Khan? God, I was never this happy!!

In all, I am obsessed!!!

P.S please don't strangle me after I ask this. I know that it is always easy to read an update in 10 minutes and very difficult to write the same, trying to do justice to every reader and the characters but I just can't get over the fact that repentance is ending. So, here is it- Haven't we got just one update of tomorrow?

Quote

Payali09

@Payali09

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#315

Reswa! I am writing a nice long comment as you are reading this 😃

FYI, I woke at 2am and then at 3.15am and then again at 5.45am before the update was up and I could read it 😆

Ended up having to take an early evening nap because my sleep schedule got interrupted so much. You and your wonderful story-telling is literally giving me sleepless nights...and mornings 😛

-----

Okely dokely...so here we go...

I loved the start off with the clanging of the dagger. Me really enjoy small call-backs and moments like these. It seemed to me like just as Jasheem Khan alive broke the impasse between Rudra and Paro, his death is doing the same again in breaking the silence between the two. Squee!

Next squee factor is your use of metaphors and descriptors -> the tattered flower, the bloodied dove, broken wings, innocent angel in white smock. Ah!

Another I really liked about the update is the tearing of masks and surfacing of truths. For all her bravado, Paro still responded to the pain she felt running through her Jallad. At first just looking at the surface wound and then later realizing the real pain was that of a soul wound. That not only could the Jallad feel but feel so deeply that it was almost too much to bear witness to his emotions.

And Rudra's realization of her inner beauty being the beauty that brought him to his knees 👏 Bloody brilliant. "The angelic heart within a human body" How perfect a description of the pureness of Paro. And of course his realization that he is simply a moth to her flame. Enchanted, obsessed and loss of oneself only a heartbeat away. Sigh! I wonder when she realize that she is a similar moth to his flame. A fatal attraction for sure!

The return of Rudra and his breakdown was so apt for this moment. Of course he wasn't going to apologize! It would be insanely out of character for him to do so. A man of action not words. And words would not achieve anything. Only serve as a mouthing of repentance. I'm so happy you included the part about Rudra finding out Paro's message for him via Jasheem. Callback FTW!

But, I have to say the ending was a little bit off-putting for me...not in a bad way. Just that I felt a little bit of a disconnect. You know like when you get the sudden feeling of disquiet and unease and then you realize that you are actually dreaming and everything happening around you isn't real and you are fast asleep. Kind of like a weird Inception moment. That feeling of unease was what I felt. Normally when I read your work I get so immersed in it but this was the first time I was re-reading a section repeatedly because I couldn't get into it.

But after having read it for like the fourth or maybe fifth time today, I think my initial reaction was based on my brain being barely awake whilst reading. Plus writing this comment in bits and pieces has helped the reflection process a bit 😆

That ending was almost like the aftermath of a storm, right? Like the entire landscape had just been irreversibly changed and Paro and Rudra were left standing in the debris. And Paro reaching out and Rudra breaking down was a moment of temporary insanity before reality intruded and they snapped back to being simply the Jallad and the Prisoner

Not that the Jallad and the Prisoner will ever be the same. After all the chaos and tumult it will be interesting to see how they navigate their relationship from here on in. Glimpses of which can be seen in previous OSes. Question, are the Yesterday's posted in chronological order or not? I have a feeling they aren't entirely but just thought to check in case they are.

I'm really really looking forward to Redemption. Like I will probably write an essay on it whenever you post those sections. 😆

---

Repentance is over?!?!? But what about Tomorrow Part 2? No Dillu-Mala...for now, right?

---

PS - It is 11.20pm here. Congratulations again on stealing some of my sleep a second night in a row 😛

PPS - Thank you for the PM!!!!

Edited by Payali09 - 11 years ago

Quote

Asma

@asmanichatri

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

#316

Woah! Your writing is so stunning. I need to come up with new words 😆

But honestly, this update was so visceral that I was almost uncomfortable reading it. I liked the fact that you made us feel for both these horribly messed-up yet beautiful characters. I loved how Paro's inner beauty shone through and how it left Rudra feeling even more conflicted.

I have often felt that it is not very easy to write a very human story when you are working on the premise of a big theme, but you have managed to do it so well.

Quote

shree10

@shree10

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#317

Last 2 parts of repentance were simply amazing!

Paro's restlessness and she expecting Jallad to come and ask for forgiveness was so apt. But what she got was so much more that she couldn't take it! Rudra didn't verbalize the words but Paro could see how he(his soul) is burning in hell!

I think it's time for me to re-read the series from start. That would take away some impatience from the wait for redemption!

Quote

Payali09

@Payali09

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#318

I edited my Reswa! Happy reading 😃

Quote

Radhika

@YellowBoots

Navigator

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#319

Absolutely flawless writing yet again. Without a doubt this is the best PaRuf fanfic. Now if only the actual show had a fraction of this nuance 😊

Quote

Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#320

Originally posted by: deep0909
Fantastic... I wish it had continued though. Why do you say complete?

Please please can you complete the marriage track? Did the tailor stitch the clothes and dance in the baraat? did major ask her to marry him or the other way?

what happens when Paro is in the haveli? are there no stories from there?

Have I missed any of ther OS that is part of this series... this thought is tearing me up! Have you linked all the ones correctly? can we have all links on the same page even if they are continuations of one OS?

Love love love this series napster! muah muah! I really don't know you and shouldn't be kissing you :-)

But I truly want to show my appreciation of your series... truly love it girl!

Hi!

Thanks for commenting--and no,the series is not finished--just Chapter 11 of the series (Repentance) is more or less done. I haven't actually done anything on their marriage yet--I'll do a Tomorrow portion one of these days, tying in a romantic wedding scene, as a surprise for everyone--and I promise Birla Master the Tailor will do a cameo! Paro's stay in the Haveli will absolutely have scenes used in future updates, her stay there is actually instrumental in Rudra's change towards her.

By the way-- thanks so much for TELLING me what you'd like to see in the future tracks and writings, it really really helps me decide what you guys will find interesting, and gives me direction--all of you, please feel free to tell me what you'd like to read about, and i'll use as many reader demands as I can. I will incorporate things you want to see, and give it my twist.

-Navin

Edited by napstermonster - 11 years ago

Quote

1 ... 30 31 32 33 34 35

OS: Yesterday and Tomorrow--Repentance-Completed. - Page 32

Related Topics

Explore Topics