OS: Yesterday and Tomorrow--Repentance-Completed.

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DDC1

@DDC1

Navigator

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#301

Baisa,

Thank you for the long update, was worth the wait.

The analogy of the flower that was shredded by the storm, soothing the storm is so meaningful in this instance.

Please one more part to Repentance, want to read more about his repentance & her forgiveness.

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zanayaforever

@zanayaforever

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#302

Napstersa let me give u a bit of something u truly deserve
A STANDING OVATION..
👏

The way u breathed life into these exceptional characters..ur works always leave me pleasantly shaken..like ive mentioned in my pm..* sigh*
" she understood she cudnt do anything more to hurt him" , " meri zaja mouth jaise choti cheej se nai hota paro"... By god - powerful words... 👏
bas ek choti armaan baki- wish u wud elaborate his dialogues of self accusation..
God bless 🤗

Edited by zanayaforever - 11 years ago

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shreyasonia

@shreyasonia

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

#303

I am completely entralled by your writing...its just so so... (dont have the words to describe such brilliant piece of writing.

I have loved these series of OS's for repentance!!

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antiquegold

@antiquegold

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#304

Napster I am mentally drained after reading your story. i can only imagine what you have put yourself through to write it. i am not at this point in the mind to critique it. I did however, mention that JKs death would be rudras painkiller, albeit ineffective.

Love is like a tsunami. It sweeps everything down, however tough the rocks in its path. And for Rudra, his ultimate punishment was her compassion. His soul has nowhere to go.

This show has been bout paros worship of Bholenath. Your story was ultimately Rudras surrender and worship of the divine Parvati.

Please make a blog on wordpress/tumblr and set up your series there. That is one way of publishing. An ebook should be in the line of sight from that vantage point.

The part where she reads his eyes! 😭

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jojo21

@jojo21

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

#305

Wow! I seem to write that after all of your updates, but this one was INTENSE. It was more than the lashing that was given to Paro or the fact that Rudra was responsible, it was the sheer realization on Rudra's part of just how impacted he is. The question is how on earth does one forgive? You've given us a glimpse of this when Paro went to help Rudra, and their connection as she felt weak, but is that enough? I'm very much looking forward to redemption because in my book Rudra has much much more to do for Paro to FEEL for him what he feels for her, his sentence...

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sairam03

@sairam03

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#306

You are awesome! I cried while reading this update. Very well written.

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surenkal

@surenkal

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#307

they should just hire you to write the script

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disha7

@disha7

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

#308

I'm just speechless. Wonderfully written. The whole scene and their conflicting emotions, you have beautifully expressed it.

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devsum

@devsum

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#309

Really superb... I just to complete it..

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shilpa

@mrsp

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

#310

Speechless.The whole piece just seemed to roll along at its own pace dipping and ebbing with Rudras emotions.Paros own emotions are contained within her.She is the focus he the tornado flying around her.This is the image that you have left with me.The description if his torment,his agony is outstanding we too are taken along with his whirlwind of emotions.But you have balanced it beautifully with her calm compassion,her stillness.Outstanding language.The best metaphores are of the broken dove and bleeding heart.These indeed are the two characters.

Are we convinced that he deserves redemption?Is his repentance strong enough?Almost.He is broken and we know that only she can mend him piece by piece.Will he allow her goodness to enter?You have raised the questions now please give us the answers quickly!

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OS: Yesterday and Tomorrow--Repentance-Completed. - Page 31

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