A raw, intense, turbulent, moving conclusion, this. Deeply satisfying for many reasons: because Rudra came to visit her. Because he was down on his knees before her. Because Paro revealed how truly beautiful a person she was. Because he understood it, finally. And understanding it, was changed. Because Paro saw his repentance, above and beyond what she could have wished for. And was moved to try and stop him. Because she could not dismiss what he had done to her so easily, despite his suffering, and asked him about his punishment. Because he told her what lay in store for him.
The language everywhere was beautiful. Some of my favourites:
#A glint of silver, a wet squelch of red.
#Every beat of his heart propelled one more droplet to fall from the torn skin of his hand, to pool in shadowy red dewdrops beneath his body.
#The dagger's serrated edge gleamed up at Paro. Mesmerized, she stared at it, at the red drops of blood that ran down the glinting razor teeth, the naked, curving smile of the blade speaking to her of a deadly violence, speaking a metallic promise of pain.
#her heart a fluttering, wing- beating sparrow within its bone-cage.
#The flower was trying to save the very thunderstorm that had ripped it to tatters.
#A dove he had bloodied was trying to shield him with the wings he had broken.
#Something had shifted, readjusted, and like an old motor engine brought roaring into life, an ancient instinct, an eternal drive had started to pour something primitive through his veins.
#The joke had been on him, all along! And what a joke! It was her inner beauty that would damn him. Her outer beauty had only taunted Rudra, but this heart, this angelic heart accidentally placed within a human body---this beautiful heart would be what would ruin him, take him straight to hell.
#His eyes, fathomless, dark, wounded in a way that spoke of deep suffering knocked the breath from Paro's lungs. These eyes, the ones that had never showed anything but cool calculation-they now showed a psychic, a mental injury of such depth and breadth, Paro's voice stilled in her throat. She sat, mute, uncomprehending as the Jallad's eyes focused on her own, a look of such pleading and regret in the dark amber orbs, she found herself captured once again, a prisoner to his pain.
#It was the complete shattering of a man she had thought was basalt rock. It should have been the most triumphant moment of her life. What it was, in actuality, was terrifying.
#Only a few honest moments remained between them as he reformed into the Jallad, and she became again, the BSD's witness, his Prisoner.
#The Birpur investigation, that eyeless, soulless, eternally-forward moving monster was still lumbering along, crushing everything in its wake.
Loved the way you showed us the role reversal: the Jallad bowed down, eyes closed, trembling before his victim. And the victim now the victor. Yet wearing her crown lightly, if at all. Loved how you built up to the Jallad's realisation that Paro was beautiful inside and out. Loved what that realisation did to him. Loved the description of the break down. And then the reforming.
Loved the PaRud interaction - the way she tended to him, drenched him with her compassion, embarked on the process of healing him. The way he read her every desire before it even formed. And how they are so in tune with each other already.
Loved that you closed the loops: Jasheem Khan is dead, killed by the Jallad. But has told him before he dies of Parvati going to her death, knowingly. Leaving the Jallad to deal with that knowledge, and therefore his own punishment.
And loved the last line: "He did not come." Simple, brief, powerful and tying together Part 3 and part 4.
So Bravo!! Navin for this very fitting conclusion that makes this four-piece stand out as diamonds in the rough. 👏👏👏👏
P.S. Sorry for the late comment - I wanted to sit down to it only when I had the time and a clear mind, and it's taken me this long. 😆
Edited by tvbug2011 - 11 years ago
Fan Fictions
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
