OS: Yesterday and Tomorrow--Forgiveness (completed)

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#181

Originally posted by: dilectus

The conversation between Paro and JK is special. You know Why?? Because its normal. A normal conversation, with soft voices and encouraging words and innocent questions. Encouraging, because paro was almost encouraging him to kill her as he has to do, and JK encouraging her by telling that her truth is known to everyone. All this amongst the very scene of death.

I cant say I wont have nightmares tonight.

When I read last part, I thought I will never be able to forgive Rudra for putting her through all this. But today he earned my (and probably of all baisa's) forgiveness, when he went to her cell before JK arrived. He wanted her to speak, so he could save her , not because he wanted to prove her a terrorist. After that whatever he did, it was him stepping again on the ladder towards the HERO title in our eyes. But that, was the moment when he earned our forgiveness.

Napsterji, You tell me, how I should praise your skill so that you don't feel offended. Anything I have known till date as "praise" is nowhere near what you deserve. So I am asking for your help. Help me in giving you your due as a writer.

Originally posted by: SherryGS
Your Tejawat is way more cold and calculating by far that the RR version. Oh the whole I feel like I am reading a very dark novel and I am enjoying it. Yes Rudra will repent but don't make him weak. I cannot stand when these men repent and turn into weaklings. I know that sounds awful but I prefer that they maintain that inner strength that they initially possessed. Its what got them to this point in their lives to begin with. They would never have survived without it.

BTW When I first read about your character JK, he reminded me of a serial killer and I think he truly is. Interesting character he is.

Hi ( to the both of you) ! I think this is the first time I've had the pleasure of commenting on something you've both said, so bear with me! THANK you, firstly, for reading. lets get that out of the way--the only way any writer gets his or her dues, no matter how undeserving, is to have an audience for the work, and on a fan-fiction, comments such as yours are manna from heaven when I have written about very beloved characters!

I tried to start the not Redemption, so much as Repentance--because Rudra has done a wrong, and he will only come to realize the gravity of it when Aman tells him. So for me, as a hero, he has a long path to walk. If you re-read Red Ghagra (just the Yesterday part) you'll see a glimpse of what I'll be using for the next part--where their story goes next! IM TELLING YOU A SPOILER!! BRIBE!!! So you guys all stay with me, and write comments! ITS A BRIBE!!!!..Okay, I'll be quiet now.

And villain wise--You should know--i have a (very worrying for my friends/family) soft corner for truly macabre villains. I like creating them more than the heroes. Stay tuned for more of Jasheem Khan...he has a bigger role to play...

Edited by napstermonster - 11 years ago

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zanayaforever

@zanayaforever

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#182

My dear napstersa.i hav a petishun to make.u r one gifted writer.don waste ur talent.go ahead n do something about it..liking publishing somewher..amazone??? Like our sj sa 😊 .will u do dat 😳 .n wats ur real name?(only if u don mind)..

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DiyaS

@DiyaS

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#183

Oh. My. God.

I'm still trembling from this last part.

Thank you for not letting JK lift another whip on Paro ... I couldn't have taken it.

Thank you for making Paro ... just the way you made her. Don't have words to describe her.

Thank you for Aman and Ram Mohan and all the other BSD officers and their silent support to Paro ... their silent reproach to Rudra ... Thank you for making Aman more proactive and find out the true traitor in the BSD's midst. Thank you for Ram Mohan realising that JK had locked himself in alone with Paro in complete and utter defiance of all rules.

I still haven't quite forgiven your Rudra ... he has a lot more to do to redeem himself ... he was almost too late.

You write brilliantly, NM ... I don't think I've actually said this in words before. You have the ability to draw a reader into your stories, I feel that I was right there in that observation room along with Rudra and the rest of the BSD ... with that same feeling of helplessness and rage ... not a pleasant feeling.

Will be waiting for your next.

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custodian75

@custodian75

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#184

Such an emotional update. I was reading it sitting at the edge of the seat, literally. Thank god rudra's brain worked at the nth moment. If something had happened to paro, the whole of the BSD would have died of guilt. Atleast the chandangarh post.

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#185

Originally posted by: shagun-rocks
I read it!!...I'll reserve my judgement on Rudra for the moment..i'll rather wait and see how he turns out to be in REPENTANCE...ram mohan and the other soldiers deserve a standing ovation...they along with aman, well and truly portrayed the humane side of the story...but i must say, after going through this chapter thakur's devious plans sent a shiver down my spine..if Rudra of the previous chapter left me disturbed, thakur was far far more menacing...i know it would be difficult for you to present rudra in a new light but i'm quite keen to know how his dynamics with paro are established...

______________________________________________________________________________

Yes! You read it! I am glad you did and I am even happier you are looking forward to part 11--the issue is, as you've pointed out that Rudra's actions are those of a man with no conscience--he has never had to explain what he has done, examine its impact or even consider that he might be wrong.

This time, it has blown up in his face--exactly because what he prides himself on--his ruthlessness--was exactly what caused an innocent's suffering--and because he has not allowed the humanity of Aman, Ram Mohan the other soldiers to affect him. before redemption, where Paro will have a say, I want to work on repentance, where Rudra will have to answer, to the BSD, his comrades and even to himself why he did what he did--and find no answer.

My version of the "court martial" coming up--less of an official thing, and more of a self-discovery, personal thing.

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Navin

@napstermonster

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#186

Originally posted by: Oldestfan
OK.

This is what you are going to do. You are going to carefully collect this Yesterday and Tomorrow series, and you are going to take it to Nautanki. They will publish an ebook as companion to their show. With this series. Plan what you will wear for the book tour!
All the napster fans,
Let us join the hands
And make a petishun to Nautanki
To publish an ebook, this series ki.

Your stories change genre with each part. This series on torture was brutal, stark, action packed and gut punching. There is a part of scripture somewhere in the New Testament, about thw courage of the meek. You made that come to life here.

Oh yeah.I loved THE HELL out of it! 👏

My dear:

I cannot tell you how amazing it is that someone who is obviously well read thinks my efforts are worth publication in tandem with the show we are all so completely mesmerized by! I'm not going to give the "usual awe shucks gee whizz- I write sitting on rainbows" response here, because frankly, I am quite happy with the way this part of the Yesterday and Tomorrow story arc turned out, AND it was pretty hard to get down on paper. It cost me a several rewrites, as Explimere and even Tvbug11 and the others know, as do you, I was wondering whether I should go for it, or tone it back. I've found the reaction to the actual gritty parts invigorating, but I can assure you, I don't think it approaches what the CVs have in store fr us. Im toying with a One-Shot just with the sindoor scenario--I LOVE sindoor symbolisms!!

Thanks!
Navin

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Maya

@What_the

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#187

This is such a beautifully written story..

The vivid contrast between yesterday and tomorrow - two sides of the same coin - yet so poignantly distinct from each other..

You have a talent for narrating stories - your imagination is amazing and your writing style is impeccable.

Do let us know if you have an Index of RR works?

Cheers!!

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Sunara

@princessunara

Trailblazer

+ 8

Posted: 11 years ago

#188

I as said was at a wedding last night when I refreshed this page for one more time n realized that the update has come... and ignoring all my office colleagues i started reading and by the time i reached "She would come up against another interrogation in ten minutes. Would she survive? She had been so weak when she had asked for her Aman Bhaiya, when she had whispered a goodbye to him on Ram Mohan's cell-phone! Her voice had sounded so oddly peaceful and resigned to her fate, Aman had found his cheeks wet with tears as he had hung up. She was innocent, his very blood had screamed this to him. She had not called to confess, as Ram Mohan had thought, but to say goodbye to her "Bhaiya." She had known, somehow, that she would not survive the night. And Aman, in mindless grief, in desperation, had come here, to the other BSD prisoner Kesari Ram. Playing on his instinct, hoping to see if there was any small clue, any tiny inconsistency he could use to stop the death Fate had chosen for one more sister whom he had taken into his heart. " i was half crazed n sobbing myself trying to avert my face so that they won't see...n ask...what was I to say... how could i explain?
but none of these mattered, i just read on... wiping my tears...

And then I gasped in horror as alongwith Aman I also learned that the killer would be handed Paro in a platter...by the very people who should have protected her... but on the other hand I was relieved to realized that somehow whenever this immediate horror would be passed, Aman bhaiya would have enough information to protect his little sister forever... so that not another single finger would be laid on her...

" Ram Mohan with a defiant hand resting for a second on Paro's bent head, "
In my own head I saw Kakaji's face in here.. as he laid a hand on little Paro's head.. powerless to do anything else in his lower rank..except to feed her some clean water from his own and to keep a hand on her head..i bit back more sobs... those images were so poignant... n came to me with so much clarity..it was as if i was watching them in front of my own eyes...

and then... he came... and as he begged her to talk so that he could prevent her being killed... and she snuggling into his warmth.. delirious and exhausted was more than it was possible for me to take.. i stopped reading... and excused myself to the washroom... i just cried my heartout as i went back n read the whole thing again till that point... slowly.. with reverence to each word u had written.. absorbing it all in...

and finally when she spoke to that killer n faced death with that inner strength and dignity... i love her.. so so much... innocent... child that she is...so brave.. my heart was in my mouth as I read each word painfully...dreading... more than I have ever dreaded anything..
and when in the end he managed to break in and Aman bhaiya came for his sister I just hugged the phone to my heart and cried in relief...
and finally i read those last 2 lines n as i felt the tension draining out of me.. i just had a small smile on my face...that quirky last line...

I swear Navin, I have never in my life except for the books of Harry Potter series, I have never breathed n lived in with another piece of writing while I awaited for the next part of it.. I think I read those last few parts over 100 times again and again.. had then haunt me as i waited to sleep at night.. dreading for what was to come...
you have magic in your words and I truly hope one day u will get this published.. I just just loved it..

I have already read it so many times.. but i couldn't comment till now as i wasn't anywhere near the laptop until now.
i just relived that moment when i read it for u to know.. just how much this part meant to me.. n how much of an impact this amazing story had on me...

pls pls write n share the next part soon!! 🤗

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Meena

@chotidesi

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#189

You outdo yourself every. single. time. I'm literally at a loss for words, and I'm never at a loss for words. You've completely moved me. My favorite scene was when Rudra came in to talk to her- he was so pleading, and you really took that emotion and ran with it. I just- wow.