RAABTA-Part 96 on page 148 on 9/3 - Page 76

Part 68

Failure; as known people would tell, failure is the stepping stone of success!!

And in medical field, failure is common everywhere, while studying, while doing their job, in their research, sometimes we would end up losing life of a person…in fact, its common in everyone's life!!

But, we can't expect success everywhere and all the time, that's not possible!!

We learn the most when we fail…Failure makes us learn more!!

But, Shaan was facing this for the first time in his life, first time thoda zyaada hi dukh ho tha hain!! Zyaada hi….He's crashed to the world!!

But, yes, fellowship could have waited!! Sometimes, even the older people won't be able to qualify them, but its Shaan!!

Shaan is not like any other person, he's the doer, he just wants to grab as much as possible into him!! There's no harm in thinking this way……Sometimes we indulge ourselves very much into a thing, its hard to get out of it…

Now he's in such a state that he would require a lot of time!! A lot….

He just sits there like rock, no talking, and no pouring out of his feelings to his love, just nothing….!!

Khanak simply has no idea as to what to do, she does her best, by keeping her hand on his, Shaan looks at her, she smiles slowly, presses his hand telling that, she'll be with him no matter what happens…

She expected like always, he would get her, her feelings, but this time it failed…

Shaan removes his hand gently, looks over on the front…Khanak is taken back for a while, she feels like as though someone has placed a huge mount of rock on her heart!!

She composes herself, calms herself…Meanwhile, Shaan gets up, he walks over to his cupboard takes his towel and walks to the bathroom…

He just doesn't have any idea, of what's going on, or how he should react, time stands still for him, he doubts himself…

Seriously!! Just one failure was enough for him to crash like this…!! But, his dreams, which he had built on, comes in front of him, it haunts him!!

His dreams!! Him successfully getting enrolled to his programme, he and Khanak with Aayush, settling in America, them alone!!

Wait..!! Had he thought of going away from his house?? His family?? How…??

He stood under the shower, hoping that his mind will stop playing with the words...But sometimes, neurons in our brain create more havoc, and lands us in a place where, we would have never wished to be there….

On the other side, Khanak is more tensed, pacing the room, When Shaan had looked at her with that expression, she felt something scary; she had not seen him like this…

He walks back, she looks up at him, he doesn't look at her, she feels like as though someone has flinged her, she's most hurted now!!

She recovers herself, walks to him, he feels like as though he has failed everything, he's feeling like as though he doesn't deserve her…But, why???

Doesn't he know that she loves him and she'll be there for him??

Why is he like this?? This hurts Khanak immensely!!

He wants to be a part of her joys and sorrows, he wants to know everything about her, but why is he not opening to her??? Why??

She walks up to him, he sees that she's approaching, he places his towel on the bed and he just walks out of the room, it hurts him too!! But, for now he has to find the answers, for, what had gone wrong, he had put his best to gain that programme, but why didn't he get through?? He just walks unmindfully in the corridor, goes down the stairs, enters the pool area, seats himself on the chair, leans back, looks up at the sky…

Khanak was reeling under a shock!! He just walked out…?? On her?? Tears threaten to flow out of her eyes, but she didn't have any idea, why in the earth, he was ignoring her???

She holds her tears back, walks out to look for him, finds him sitting at the pool area…For once she thinks of going and urge him to talk, but on an after thought, she stops herself…she thinks, may be he needs some time…She walks back to their room, seats herself on the bed…

We require attention from people, when we fail in something…that's how she was, she requied his attention, when she needed him the most, he was there!!

May be some people around, likes to be alone when they are immensely hurt, but she wanted to yell to him and tell that, she didn't care, she didn't care if he failed, but he's still the same for her, he wil!! And she'll love him for ever!!

Tears held back, make their way down slowly…she doesn't care to wipe them…hoping that it will wipe away her hurt, but…

Shaan staring at the sky, hoping he will find his answers….After what seeming like forever, his shuts involuntarily, he dozes of there itself…

While crying, she had fallen to the bed, she sleeping like a foetus in its mother's womb…

She just wanted to be closer to him, she wanted to know his feelings, she wanted to answer his unanswered questions, she wanted to hold him and wanted ensure him, that everything's fine…there won't be a change in their life…or she thinks…

Shaan wakes up startled, sun has not yet raised, he feels like as though he has sprained his neck, he gets up sits there for some time, moves in, walks up the stairs, reaches his room, door is not closed, he enters and closes the door, looks at the bed, his wife is sleeping, he moves closer, her breathing is not normal, he gets that she had cried herself to the sleep…He feels still more bad…

He walks over to the couch, seats opposite to her, and looks over his room…which had taken a different look over three months…

He is in a dilemma, not sure what he's supposed to do, think about the reason, or about his dreams or just forget that, and thinking of moving on….He doesn't know, but he feels like as though he's carrying a burden with him, looks over at her, at times she inhales sharply, but continues to be in the same position, and hugs herself the more!!

He leans back, places his leg on the table, in front of him, stares at the roof….

Morning rays seep in, she gets up, peers through her eyes, looks around the room, as though she's seeing for the first time, sits up on the bed, looks around to locate, but no, he's not there, she had decided to give him time….She doesn't like to throw herself on others…She had decided she will wait for him…

She goes to washroom, to get freshed…

Was he like this, before she had met her, is he the real now?? Sober?? Not caring what's going around??

Her mind to plays with the questions, but for now, she had to spend a lot of time with him…Bring him back to his normal, or so she thinks…

She steps down to find others having their breakfast, Aayush is missing though and even Shaan…

She looks around, to locate Shaan…

Dadi: Aayush ko doond rahi ho beta, he's gone out to play with his friends and ah chinta mat karo, nashta karke gaya hain!! (smiles)

Khanak smiles,

Khanak: aur Shaan???

Akshay: Khanak voh Shaan, clinic ke liye gaya hain..(while having his breakfast)

Khanak: clinic??? Isn't that closed?? (takes her seat)

Sunil: he wanted to reopen it beta…(readies himself to leave)

Khanak is lost in her thoughts….But is disturbed by dadi,

Dadi: Tum aaj hospital nahi ja rahi ho, beta??

Khanak doesn't know what to say, he spoke with everyone, but why not with her??? May be he'll be attending hospital today, I may get to talk to him…Turns towards dadi, smiles and nods…

She had reached hospital in hurry, hoping she'll find him, but for her fate, he had taken leave from the hospital, she wonders…

Calls him, it says to leave the message in voice mail, to hope best, she leaves her message…

Khanak: hey Shaan!! Hope your doing fine, please call me back when you're free, im at the hospital, please talk to me…

At last she had choked…calms herself, she can't advertise about herself all around the hospital…

She's summoned to meet Lata, she walks herself into her cabin, half heartedly though…her mind wonders thinking about, where he was??

Lata tells her to take her seat, she explains about a neonatal, facing some neural probems, Lata knew that Khanak is interested more with the neonatalogy, she tells Khanak to assist Dr. Aman, Khanak had simply noded…Before she could give her further instructions on the case, Lata gets the call, from MAX hospital, Dehradun, Khanak is seated herself there in her cabin, hearing only Lata's side of conversation..

Lata: Hello, Dr. Kalra…(formal greetings take place, then…) oh, you wanted an assist, im so sorry Kalra, but we don't have anyone like that, you know, actually wait a minute…(covers the phone with her hand)

Lata: Khanak, is Raj returning back to Delhi??

Khanak: I don't think so maam.. (As Delhi is Raj's hometown)

Lata talks some more into the phone, and finally cuts the call…

Lata tells Khanak that its from Dehrdun, and Dr. Avinal Kalra, was the only consultant there, and he wanted someone, as now-a-days, flu had increased, and more and more of kids are getting admitted….

She also tells that, she and Kalra were, studying in the same college…Soon, Lata realizes, that she has gone way out of the topic with Khanak, gives her instructions and asks her to meet Dr. Aman…

Khanak had walked to Dr.Aman's cabin, Aman's happy to see Khanak, he asks her whether they could sit in cafeteria and talk about the case, Khanak as a junior, can't protest a senior, she agrees, reluctantly though…

They both are seated in the cafeteria; Khanak is not that comfortable with him, she knows that he's a great friend of Shaan, and a good person indeed, but still…

Shaan walks into the hospital, he had given a thought of talking to Khanak, and pour his feelings to her, but he was not sure how she would react…seriously?? No!! She doesn't mind my failure, she loves me till eternity!! Speaks his conscious…Hoping now everything would be clear, he looks for her in the department, gets to know from a nurse that she's in caf…

Aman talks about the case, explains her complications of the surgery and it would take them long…

Khanak focuses her mind on the subject she loves, it calms her…

Sometimes, when our personal life fails us, we try to find comfort in other things…

She takes notes on the note pad, which she would carry in her apron, hears to him, understands, asks questions in between, she finds him easy going, and she's a person, who would easily gels with anyone, if she finds them safe and comfortable…

In notime she just focuses on her case file, feels bad for that neonatal, but feels enthusiastic at the same time, to be a part of this surgery…

Easy talk goes on between Khanak and Aman, at times Aman makes some lame jokes, which brings a broad smile on her face…

They were spectated by Shaan…Shaan had entered when Khanak was broadly smiling, it irritates him for some reason…

Her on-going friendly nature bothers him…He had turned around and left the place, wondering what's happening with him…

Didn't he know his Khanak?? And what had he expected from her, to sit and mourn?? For what?? It's just common…Didn't he know that he wasn't ready for the fellowship, if not for Khanak, he wouldn't have even attended!!! His other conscious yells at him…But still…he's not relieved…He's gone once again…To find his answers in air…

When Khanak had entered, back to home, it was quite late, it was close to 7….Her legs are hurting, as she was standing for a long hour, it was a long day for her…Till now Shaan had not answered to her message, she worried for him, she had tried to call him, but it was switched off…She stepped into the house, hoping he would have returned…She'll try her best to erase his bad memories from him…

But somewhere that confidence is lost in her…She doubts herself once again……all over again she's left where she had started…

If she had succeeded in her married life, Shaan would have first spoken to her….

She's devasted, thrashed badly, hurted immensely, while climbing the stairs she's greeted by Khsuhboo…

Khushboo: Arrey Khanak aa gayi…kya hua bahut tiriring tha?? (seeing her fallen face)

Khanak nods…tries to move away, but she's called by Khushboo once again…

Khushboo: Arrey haan Khanak, Shaan ka phone aaya tha kya tumhe??

Hearing his name, she turns suspiciously towards Khushboo…

Khanak: nahi bhabhi!! Kyun?? (not hoping for the worst)

Khushboo: kuch nahi Khanak!! He just told that, he won't be coming home today…

Khanak's face fall once again..tears once again threaten, she holds it back, and listens…

Khushboo: He was telling that Samar was in town, so aaj voh dono, Worli ke apartment main rukne wale hain!! (his studying apartment) Achcha, main bahar jaa rahi hun, Akshay wait kar raha hoga…and haan Khanak, Aayush so gaya hain, don't worry he had his dinner, he was tired a lot today, so he slept early…And haan Mom, dad aur dadi na bahar gaye hain, they'll be back late…

Khushboo is excited with her dinner; she leaves beaming from there…Khanak just know that she is left alone…

She walks zombiely into her room…That's more patience she has got, she lands on bed vigorously and cries her heart out…

She feels like someone has put a hand inside her thoracic cage and have squeezed her heart badly….She cries a lot, may be a lot more than what she had done before a month and a half ago…

She gets up from the bed, finds a notepad on the sidetable, writes two letters, one she places under her pillow..another one she holds it in her hand, crushes, she's still crying, enters Aayush's room slowly, she has held her breath as to not to disturb him in anyway…finds him sleeping calmly, without any wordly tensions, she slowly pecks him on his forehead, Aayush stirs, she stands still, places that letter underneath his alarm clock which had placed on his study table…

She moves out of his room….

Her crying is stopped, if he doesn't want to talk to me or nor he wants to see me, then…fine…(chokes, but controls herself) I won't bother him anymore…I won't be a burden anymore…

Being left out, or ignored is the worst feeling a person ever faces…

Dehradun, capital of Uttarakhand, in Northern India…

She had reached Mumbai's railway station zombiely, not knowing where to go, when enquired she got to know that it's a doon express..To dehradoon…without any further ado, she climbs in after buying a ticket…

Her mind had caught the conversation of Lata with Dr.Kalra…

She had reached early in the morning, she had stepped out, a nice cool air breezes…She's amused by the place, her new start to her life…She giving herself another chance to survive in this world, if once gain she fails…she won't be left with a reason, she would just live the wordly pleasures…

She reads the board there, it shows…

Dehradun Railway Station, Govind Nagar.

She steps out, finds a taxi…Asks him whether he can drop her to Max Hospital, he agrees, he helps her to place her baggage inside the deck, she seats at the back seat, the driver gears up…

Her travel from the railway station to the hospital, was quite easy, it was just about 9kms, almost only about 15 mins…

She paid the taxi fellow, and had got out, looks up at the hospital, finds it huge and neatly looking hospital…

Hoping she would find her destination here, steps in with her baggage…

wht a come baq chandu..missed u soo much...😃

god very emotinal update shaan is nt sharing his feeling on d other hand khanak is comp broken...

n she left????? without aayush.😲 hw will shaan face to dis..

cant wait fr nxt part hope u will update daily nw...😊