-SS- EK HI KHWAB -Uptd Epi Pg 32 - Page 8

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saaaz thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#71

Shaan stills'his stomach does a plop, he is sure everyone has heard it..except his heart..because his dream prolongs

----

Part II

Shaan wakes up with a headache the following morning. He can hear the sounds of laughter from the adjoining bedroom, where he can hear Daadi's voice talking and cracking some jokes with his father. The splitting headache does not stop him from smiling, but stops him from getting up and going to meet his Daadi who has arrived from Poona this morning-- only to see her walking into his room. She smiles and comes towards him and gives him a kiss on the forhead

Shaan: Hi, Daadi..aap kab aayee? Savere..Sabere..?

Daadi: Tum abhi uth rahe ho Shaan, din ke gyarah baj rahe hai..

Shaan: Daadi, aaj Saturday hai.. aur kal kahan thi aap, agar kal aatee, you could have come for the grand party..

Daadi: Isiliye tho nahin aayeee..yeh parties vaghera..

Shaan: (smiling adoringly at her) ..Daaadi..I know..

Daadi: Acha suno, jaldi se utho, aur mujhe mandir leke jao

Shaan: WHAT? Mandir..please daadi..you cannot be serious..

Daadi: Main bilkul serious hoon..

Shaan: (lazily getting out of bed): Come on daadi.. I am sure Dharam aapko leke ja sakta hai..main bahut thak gaya hoon aaj.. (watches her disappointed face) ..kal..kal'I promise..main aapko kal leke jaoonga..(putting one hand on his heart and the other on her shoulder..being the petulant grandchild)

Daadi: promise??

Shaan: Haan..pakka promise..(with a childish twinkle)

Daadi: Theek hai, ab neeche ajao..breakfast kha lo..

Shaan climbs down the stairs and before he reaches the breakfast table, Dharam approaches him'

Dharam: Shaan baba, kal raat yeh phone party mei reh gaya tha..

Shaan: Mera phone nahi hai..office mei de do..

Dharam: Haan Shaan baba..lekin phone ice cream counter ka table pe mila tha..to server ko laga ki aapka hai..main office mei de doonga..

Shaan: (suddenly something strikes): Actually..mujhe de do.. (and grabs it from Dharam like a child recieving a gift)

His hand shivers while he holds it..his heart smiles.. breaks into a jig..that does not stop..Becuase he is holding his dream..his senses suddenly shut down..He switches on the phone..presses the redial button..and there is a list of names and numbers..two names appearing more frequently than others..

"Mehtajee" and "gopi".. should he? ....Shaan beta..kya kar raha hai tu?? ..are you sure..he switches his brain off to a silence mode..and retrieves his dream with a .. chalo yaar..kya harz hai??..Saturday ka din hai..thoda time pass kar lete hai..

He mouths 'mehtajee' with a disgust on his face and presses call for 'gopi'..it rings..and before he can say anything..

Gopi: Hey Ram!! Mil gayee..Khanak'tum bhi na..mujhe tho pata tha..ki wahee kahee hogee..chalo bye!

All he hears is a dial tone..he pulls the phone away from the ear..stares at it.."ajeeb hai yaar..na hello..na kuch"..and dials 'gopi' again..and yet again..a dial tone is preceeded by..

Shaan: hello..suniye..main..

Gopi: Arrey baba..jo bhi hai..baad mei baat karte hain.. meri train aa gayee hai..main rakh rahee hoon..bye..!

Shaan: WHAT THE? yeh Gopi tho mujhe topi lagake gayee hai..Ab.. Iss Mehtajee ko phone karna padega..usse tho main chodungaa nahin..hadh hai yaar!..

Shaan in his frustration and slight anger presses dial on "mehtajee"..all set to yell a hello and give a sounding to mehtajee..but is silenced by..

Khanak: Hello?!!

Shaan: ummm'. (voice slowing going into silence mode too..and the heart in vibrate)

Khanak: Kya hua? Ab bolti band? Main keh rahee thee ki phone tumhare paas hi hogee..tumhari gaadi mein mil gayee kya? ..Acha hua maine tumhara phone leke chali aayee..tumhe pata bhi hai ki Siddhi Vinayak mein aaj kitni bheed hone wali hai..gudi padwa hai na..hello? hello'

Shaan: hello.. (he is static..) main..

Khanak: Kya? Mujhe kuch sunayee nahee de raha..yeh auto mein music bahut loud hai..ek minute..(and turns her face forward to the auto driver..) suno bhaiya.. thoda volume low karna..jyaada low nahin haan!?.. mujhe yeh gaana bahut pasand hai.. (and puts the phone back to her ear).. suno ..tumhe sunayee de raha hai..

Shaan: Haan..(there is no disturbance because the sound waves from his brain to his ears have been cut off)

Khanak: Ok! acha..Main Siddhi Vinayak mein hoon, matlab pandhra minute (15) mein pohchungee..phone ko charge pe laga dena..chaviyan wohee darwaje ke samne walle gamle mein..(softly so that the auto driver cannot hear)..aur charger wahan table ke upar. (back on her usual decibal level)..tum apni office jaane se pehle exchange kar lenge..theek hai? Hello? Theek hai na..

Shaan: Theek hai..(how can he refuse her??)

Khanak: Hello??

Shaan immediately hangs up..and looks at the phone..realises he needs to do something..he hurriedly messages 'mehtajee's" phone number to his phone.. and sprints to the breakfast table, lifts his confused Daadi from her chair..

Shaan: daadi'chalo..chalo..aapko mandir jaana tha..chaliye chaliye..come on..

Daadi: Arrey..Shaan.. (stumbling and smiling)..tum tho mujhe kal leke jaane wale the..

Shaan: Come on Daadi..Aap aaj jana chahtee ho ..right?

Daadi: Right.. Kya baat hai? (a knowing smile to Shaan)

Shaan: Kuch nahin daadi (a shy smile back)..chaliye na..phir Siddhi Vinayak mei bheed ho jayegee..woh aaj .. (scratching his forehead)..gudi pad'

Daadi: Gudi Padwa aaj nahin..do din mei hain..lekin phir bhi bheed tho hogee..

Shaan: Isiliye tho..chaliye abhi..chaliye

Daadi: (smiles a slow smile): theek hai baba chalo.. Tum aise aaoge..?..(pointing to his T-shirt and jeans)

Shaan: Kyun is mei kya hai?

Daadi: Mandir mei pooja..kurta tho pehenlo..mera pota kurta mein bahut acha dikhta hai (lovingly pulls his cheeks)..

Shaan: Come on Daadi..

Daadi: Kurta nahin pehenoge..tho main nahin aaoongee..soch lo!

Shaan: Okay'main abhi aaya..

Shaan in white kurta and jeans with two phones in his pocket..his and hers.. and his Daadi with a smile and curiosity bubbling in her heart reach the crowded Siddhi Vinayak temple..Shaan gets out of the car..and so does Daadi..she wants to buy some flowers and coconut for an offering. He suggests she wait by the car while he gets them for her.

Removes his chappals, places them in the car and walks down the lane that is wet from the constant sprinkling of water over the baskets of colourful multitudes of strings of flowers and leaves ..

..He walks slowly not caring that the edge of his jeans is dragging on the wet ground..his clean feet splashing drops of water onto another's feet..and drops from another splash onto his feet..while his shoulders are constantly nudged by several nobodys..how can he find her in this mela he thinks..and right then.. through the yellow, orange, pink , white and green'is his vision in a red saree .. stopping him..alerting him..and yet his senses have gone into a sleep mode..his dream is now his need..

Mej par phool sajaate hue

Dekha hai kayee bar

Ek hi Khwab kayee bar

Dekha hai maine..

Edited by saaaz - 14 years ago
-Deepali- thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 14 years ago
#72
Excilient Update saazy..looking short but realy nice..loved it
All conv..between shaan and khanak was nice and wonderful
Khanak looking bebble over and her cuteness looking awesome
whole update just amazing
waiting for next update..i think should be long.😆

Edited by Deepali88 - 14 years ago
iluvmanar thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#73
oh ho saazy...it's awesum..but itna chhota ..why yaar? pls update soon
priya_cool_123 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
#74
Oye Saazy...
Short lived dream it was...
I wanna dream longer..
Was he not affected by her being married... Hmmmm..
He s definitely dreaming....
He cannot be dreaming like this... so a reality check in the near future ??
Don make me wait for another week to dream again..lol
jparker thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#75
Ganpati Bappa Morya, Aapke shubhasheesh se... yeh shubh mangal ghadi aayi hain...
Sigh.. such a whacky update.. Loved the lazy Shantanu who is Raisinilicious as ever to the Rumilicious Khanak... who gives away he secret of her hiding place for the keys!! Gopi seems altogether another chapter...😆😆
Mwaa for bringing in daadi, as I miss her so much. In spite of this petulant grand child, Shantanu is the only one who really loved her in the real RBO and even here.. in your Rum n Raisiny story...
Sigh Siddhivinaayaka, tujhya aashirwaad aani krupane, sarva karye, shubh aani maangalye hou de... Oops, sorry but let this Raisin find his Rum filled flavour....
Beautiful is this dream for Shantanu as his heart races and he is clueless, but this unknown emotion prods him on... Sigh I wonder how this story will develop? Curious it gets and even more so as Shantanu is pursuing this dream.. so much want it to be turned ito reality but then also fear.. will it be on the lines of sooraj passing away.. I hope not... I want happiness every where.. So hoping that these dreams are as sweet at your Rumilicious Raisiny flavour...
loved this update for each line expressed by Shantanu... left nothing to imagine.. could pciture it clearly...👏👏👏
adventure_gurl thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
#76
awesome update Saaz! keep it up!😃
-SYS- thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#77
Okay so Suraj and Khanak definitely not married!Yay!
No matter how disconnected you're feeling, the story is still convincing AND keeping me hooked. As usual excellent writing!
Love the extra touches you put in-eg Khanaks turn down volume but not too low...
Also like the way you've shown Shaan-Daadi's relationship completely with just a few dialogues

BTW the Gopi and topi dialogue was such a Saaz thing to say=p



vaish_123 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#78
Saaz,

Excellent writing with excellent touches.👏
Waiting for the update.
simikr thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 14 years ago
#79
Oye saazy!! Update dhamaakedar hai par thoda chota hai!! Chalega!!
Mandir mein mil rahe hain tab Vignesh ji ke blessings bhi mil jayenge!! LOL
Yes Shaan wastes no time!!.........:D
destinylove thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
#80
dear saaz thanx for the pm L
oved the way u brought the phone matter..and connected it with shaan and khanaks meeting...😊
waiitng for siddhi vinayak temple meeting😊very gad to have dadi back..😊

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