He has to walk away from his dream..its time
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Part V
It has been two weeks since their chai together..the images keep playing and replaying in his mind as he sits in his make-shift cabin in his could have been new office. He is determined now to never let anything affect him..he needs to come back on this two feet..a lot was riding on this new music company for him and his family.
Suraj was suspended until further notice and a board decision regarding his case had met the previous night. Shaan had spent the whole week going through papers regarding the submission to the board. His plan B seems to be in place..he was glad bhaiya had let him run with the whole thing.
He did not even take Natasha's help..who was herself extremely quiet and distant about the whole issue. He wonders about that..wonders..but funnily does not irk him much..how come? He should be bothered by what is bothering her..should he not? When did he stop being there for her?
Outside, Bombay's April sun had scorched the rain away and inside, his dream flickered..
His office phone rings..he picks it up..
Shaan: Shaantanu Khandelwal..
Akki: Kya baat hai chotey..abhi se executive style mein answering the phone..?
Shaan: Bhaiya..executives ke paas secretaries hote hain..aur yahan pe tho main khud ka secretary hoon..(in a deliberate squeaky voice)..tho boliye sir, aapko Mr. Shantanu Khandelwal ke saath kya kaam hai??
Akki: (laughing away)..good to see you this way, chotey..pichle poore hafte tension itni badh gayee thee..
Shaan: Bhaiya..its okay..
Akki: Acha sun..I have gone through the proposal..I think it has a very good shot..start slow..its cool..
Shaan: (scratching his head with a pencil) Really..you like it??
Akki: of course I do..and I think Dad is going to love it too..
Shaan: Are you sure??
Akki: of course, I am..thoda details explain karne padenge..but come on.. a music label that shall invest in underground instrumentalists..fabulous!!! ..and then sell the digital versions at lowest prices to internet music sites..I just need to run some risk analysis figures with respect to online copyrights etc..
Shaan: (holding the phone with one hand and tapping the desk with the pencil).. Who sab aapki department..but the figures are looking good, hai na?
Akki: Haan baba..btw..pata hai na..company ke switchboard calls bhi tumhe aa sakte hain..so be ready with your secretary voice..
Shaan: (keeps the pencil aside and moves forward): Are you serious, Bhaiyya??..damn it..aap mujhe secretary kab dilwa rahe ho??
Akki: Oh Ho..abhi tak Dad ne proposal ko approve kiya nahi hai..kaheen aisa na ho..secretary hire kar le..and she has no where to sit..
Shaan: Oh no problem Bhaiya..usse yahan bittha do..yeh office nahin..kissi chidiya ka ghosla lagta hai..
Akki: (laughing).. waise tum Khandelwal group join karne walle ho.. yeh jagah ek chidiya ghar se kam nahin hai..
Shaan: (laughing)..Aur Dad kya hue?? Zoo keeper?
Akki: Zor se mat bolo..deewaron ke bhi kaan and all that..
Shaan: yahan deewar kahan? Pinjara hain..
Akki: Baat mein bindu..
Shaan: (stressing each word with a grin) : Kaash pinjare mein hoti bhaiya..
(both the brothers together): THO BANA DETI MUJHE SAIYAA..
Both men laugh heartily into their phones..and hang up.. Shaan relaxes for the first time in weeks..nothing like inane guy talk..he leans back on the chair and rotates himself sideways..smiling..relaxed..the phone rings..
Shaan: (in a squeaky voice): Is that Bindu? Shantanu Khandelwal aap hi ki rah dekh rahe hai..
Voice: Jee?? Sorry!!.. Sir, this is Gloria..Aap ki Dad ki secretary..
Shaan: (clears his throat, has an embarrassed look): Oh, Hi Gloria..sorry..I thought it was bhaiya..anyway whats up?
Gloria: Sir, there is someone waiting for you on the 3rd floor reception area..she hopes to meet with you.. apna naam Khanak bata rahee hai..
Shaan: (stills..gets up from his chair..tightens his jaw): I don't think she has an appointment..
Gloria: (to Khanak): Aap ke paas appointment hai?
Shaan can hear Khanak: Jee nahin..lekin..its urgent..please!
(Shaan shuts his eyes..the dream is back..his dream is always..white, red, colorful with bells and mirrors..flowers and anklets..duppattas and rain..too poetic to ever exist..too far to ever reach.. too..too.. who can silence the heart?)
Shaan: Please send her upstairs..
Gloria: Yes Sir..
Khanak enters the room..she is a little surprised at the appearance..realises that it is under construction..Shaan is seated behind the desk..his one hand on the laptop in front of him and the other hanging on the arm of the chair which is placed sideways..she has never seen a man look so good in a suit..she thinks..how can he look good in plain black and/or white??..wonder how he looks in a checked shirt??.. Hey Bhagwaan!! Main kiske liye aayi hoon aur yeh main kiss soch mein doob gayee hoon..
Khanak: Jee..main andar aaoon??
Shaan: (does not move the hand carelessly resting on the arm): Tum andar aa chukee ho..please sit down..(signs with the hand from the laptop)..
Khanak: (shuts the door): Aap kaise ho?
Shaan: Mujhe nahin lagta Khanak ke tum yahan mera haal poochne aayee ho..(lets go of the lap top..leans back on the chair..tilting it a bit with his hands on the back)
Khanak: Jee..woh main..Suraj ke..
SHaan: (dripping in sarcasm): Oh..aap Suraj ke liye aayee hai..please bataiye..main aapke liye kya kar sakta hoon?
Khanak: (looks up a bit confused at the sarcasm): Jee..??
Shaan: (gets up..removes his blazer only to reveal a white and light blue checked shirt underneath and walks towards her chair, leans on that side of the table and folds his arms): Haan ..haan..bataiye na..
Khanak: Dekhiye..Suraj waise nahin hai jaise aap soch rahe hain.. woh bahut imaandaar hai..aapko pata hai..gaanv mein unkee pushton ki zameen girvi hai..unkee ek behen hai jo kaafi choti hai..aur..
Shaan: (suddenly..leans towards her..their faces inches away from each other)..tho main iss information ke saath kya karoon Khanak?
Khanak: (looking straight into his eyes): Main yeh soch rahee thee ki agar aap apne pitaji ke saath baat kar paate tho..
Shaan: (gamut of emotions run through him..he does not know whether to get irritated at her audacity or admire her for her gumption..he straightens himself.. his jaw tightens..his eyebrows scrouch..waits for 10 seconds holding the table..looking at her into her eyes.. and realizes if he does not show her out..he can never ..walks towards the door): I am sorry..main kuch nahin kar sakta..
Khanak: (stands up.. walks towards the door..holds the knob..their bodies inches away from each other..he behind her..waiting to shut the door after her) : Nahin..I am sorry..pata nahin maine kya socha tha..
Shaan: (turns her around..holds her with one hand above her elbow..his fingers intertwine around her upper arm): KYa socha tha tumne? Batao? Tell me?!!..
Khanak: (with a painful look of her face tries to unravel his fingers): Maine socha..ki hum dost hain..
Shaan: (blisters and pins her to the door): KYA??? DOST??? HUM DOST HAIN?? Kaise Khanak..?? Hum Dost kaise huye??..
Khanak: (still in pain..): dekhiye..
Shaan: (pinning her and still in anger): HUM NE Chai kya saath peelee..tumne mujhe ice-cream kya bhej diya..hum dost ho gaye..
Khanak: Mujhe dard ho raha hai..please..
Shaan: (is out of his mind..) DARD?!!! Dard mujhe bhi hua hai.. hum milte hain..chaar mithee baatein hoti hain..aur phir boom..just like a house of cards..pichle do hafte se na koyee khabhar na phone call na kuch..aur ab tumhare Suraj ki naukri ke liye meri yaad aayee..yeh kya khel hai tum dono ka??
Khanak: (lets go of his hands with hers..also blisters): CHODIYE mujhe..yeh aap kya kahe jaa rahe hain..aur Suraj ke baare mein aapko galat phehmee huyi hai..
Shaan: (steps back after letting go of her): Galat..Galat phehmee tho tumhe hui hai Khanak..(points at her): Tumne socha ke mere saath do teen haste khelte time pass kya kar liya..main tumhari baat..
Khanak: (puts her hand forward)..Please!!! Maine bahut badi galati ki yahaan aake..aap bilkul theek keh rahe hain..main galat thee..ki maine aapko ek nek insaan samjha..aur mujhe samajh payenge..
Shaan: (blistering and pointing fingers at her): That's right!!! Na hee main nek hoon..aur nahi tum mere liye kuch bhi..chali jao..before I say anything more..
Khanak: (smirks): Itna kuch kehne ke baad..aur baaki kya reh gaya hain.. Meri sirf yehi galtee thee ki maine apne dil ki suni..na jaane kyun..kiss rishte ke buniyaad pe..mujhe app pe ek ajeeb sa bharosa ho gaya tha..aaj tho woh bharosa bhi toot gaya..aur dil bhi..thank you Mr. Shantanu.. (opens the door and shuts it behind her)
Shaan stares at the closed door and realizes this is the first time he has heard her say his name.."Shantanu"..He suddenly notices silver speckles from her bangles on his fingers and on his shirt sleeves..he turns around and flings everything off his make-shift office table..in the meantime his dream has left the building..
--
Taash ke patton pe ladti hai
Kabhi kabhi khel mei mujhse
Aur ladti bhi hai aise ke
Khel rahee ho mujhse
Ek hi khwab…
--
Next part is the final part
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