-SS- Tum Pukar Lo Updated Epi Pg 26 - Page 25

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purvi08 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
yes my profile name changed because its my real name
Anu80 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
Saaz kya kahoon...

phew... kya garmi thi... par there also Shanak style-- and like you would put it sensuous and subtle...here again loved the way you put across the love making devoid of romance.. and then the one in liesure...hehehe now that they know no is going to disturb them... and that satisfied Cheshire grin.. so typical Shaan..

Hats off to your writing skills that what you wrote didn't atleast for me neither sound like the typical Mills and Boons type nor something very crass.. you made the whole thing sound so beautiful, something which can be related to Shanak or with any couple madly in love!!

Liked the start with all busy in getting this arranged for Khanak's Dhulwadi visit.. and Mads becoming the MIL who is preparing for her Samdi... nice touch...

Gosh I imagined the whole thing.. and the scene with Daadi going to call Khanak and Khusbhoo helping the RLBs.. the shock on Daadi's face was pricelss for me when she hears Khusbhoo will be going with her to the Mandir!!

Coming back to Shanak... even though all is well in their lives, their cute silly arguements and fights will always continue..
That blouse on the fan and her asking him to get it for her.. reminded me of the "ghanti bajao" scene...

BTW I imagined her in that white saree with red blouse and Shaan in his red vest...

And for the last part (week left for Khanak to return)... I had this song playing in my mind... dil se mere door na ja...
Shaan:
Dil Se Mere, Door Na Jaana
Tum Meri Zindagi
Tum Meri Ho Khushi
Dil Se Mere, Door Na Jaana...
Kyoon Hain, Ye Dooriyan
Jaane Tum Ho Kahan
Kyoon Hain, Ye Dooriyan
Jaane Tum Ho Kahan

Khanak:
Main To Hoon Wahan
Tum Raho Jahan
Tere Sang Main Rahoongi Sadaa

Shaan:
Meri Nazar Se Na Palkein Jhukana
Tum Meri Zindagi
Tum Meri Ho Khushi...
Teri Bas Ek Nazar
Kar De Dil Pe Asar

Khanak:
Main To Hoon Idhar
Kyoon Ho Bekhabar
Tham Lo Tum Mujhe Humsafar

Shaan:
Dil Se Mere, Door Na Jaana
Dil Se Mere, Door Na Jaana
Tum Meri Zindagi
Tum Meri Ho Khushi...

And their foreheads meeting.. and tears rolling down Khanak's eyes which Shaan in his usual style wipes it with his thumb.. but his eyes also moist... and haaaaaaaaaaaaiiiii

here also the way you ended it.. was like them in that no-entry road trying to say they can't live without the other.. "nahi rah sakthi mere bina" Shaan with all the attitude...

Gosh Saaz.. like I always say... the epilogue was a beauiful end to the SS... 👏👏👏
what you should do it with a copyright or watermark... make it like a ebook... I for one would love to have your SS stored in my harddisk... its much easier than jumping pages on the forum...

Edited by Anu80 - 14 years ago
The_May_Rose thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 14 years ago
Adorable cute and romantic😍...Perfect conclusion to you wonderful short story....ShaNak both have their luxsh in life👍🏼, are totally happy and even more in love❤️😍.....Bless them!.....
Excellent dailogue and well written as always Saaz👏⭐️....
-Manita- thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
Reading all that I missed when I was away !!....hence the late comments !
Beautifully penned !!

Perfect ending !! loved them missing each other when she is away !!
K-women bonding........I love !!

tera new OS bhi awesome hai👏 !!......isi ki tarah !!

PS - Lekin yeh kya..😲...tune bhi track change kar liya?? Hailaa......ab tera update bhi dar dar ke padhna padega 😆😆!!
saaaz thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
@Jess...thanks so much for your comments, they give me immense pleasure...they do...and my dear, nothing good can come without a good idea and for that, I thank you...

@Gaayu: Frankly, I cannot believe I attempted ding dong either...umm, writing it that is....

@Teeeeeeeeeeech: Thanks so much,,,,reminded of you someone huh??? kaun hai woh??? bolo bolo...kaun hai woh???

@Nisha: Thanks dear, I am glad you liked it...

@Krazee: Loved that you loved it

@Krishna: 😆...had not thought of the fan during the tum jo aaye...but thanks for connecting...love it when you guys bring a whole new perspective to the story....

@Anu: THanks Thanks Thanks....for the song (Ah!! brought back memories yaar...)...for catching the bell bajao influence which IMO was the cutest golden RBO scene ever....your comments make me feel like a 'true' writer and not someone who just recontextualises golden shanak....and I want to thank you for that...

@May: you read....you commented...thanks re....loads of thanks

@Manita: How were your exams? Nahin re...darr mat, this one I think was a departure ..just wanted to see if I could do it...

@all who pressed like....abhar!!!

Yes, have begun a new shanak SS...check it out when you have a chance
snehapatro thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
I read Part V..Last part and Epilogue all together at a time saaz ur awsome writer loved the shaadi rishta part and shaan realizing mistake..shan-akki talks...gopi-anand part....and awwwww romantic cute Shanak...and OMG dadi-boo-mads to mandir it was tooooo gudd...
specially epilogue was tooooo hott....awsome dialogues overall loved it...Saaz ur awsome outstanding writer i say this to u all the time the way u use all the RBO characters in SS is amazing....
👏....Keep Rocking Dear....😃
loved smitha vm.....awsome vm yaar.....😃
Edited by snehapatro - 14 years ago
saaaz thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: snehapatro

I read Part V..Last part and Epilogue all together at a time saaz ur awsome writer loved the shaadi rishta part and shaan realizing mistake..shan-akki talks...gopi-anand part....and awwwww romantic cute Shanak...and OMG dadi-boo-mads to mandir it was tooooo gudd...

specially epilogue was tooooo hott....awsome dialogues overall loved it...Saaz ur awsome outstanding writer i say this to u all the time the way u use all the RBO characters in SS is amazing....
👏....Keep Rocking Dear....😃
loved smitha vm.....awsome vm yaar.....😃


dearest Sneha

Thank you so much so much so much for reading and commenting...you shall always remain very special reader of my SS...you were the first person to comment on my first SS..and for that I am ever grateful...

I have begun a new one..please let me know what you think..Ek hi Khwab

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