SS~~Maaf kardo khanak- Update FINAL part pg10

rafia 24 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#1
Ok so here's my attempt at writing something on the current track, it is my first so pls ignore mistakes ect and hopefully if you like it there will be another 3 parts 2nd hopefully up by tomorrow. pls leave comments criticsm is most welcome. and a big thank you to rooj for her creative input
it goes from yesterdays epi after shaan has a water fight with the kids and has gone into khanak's house to dry himself. Shaan walks into khanaks house asking khanak for a towel, khanak looks shaan up and down and laughs

Khanak: why are you completely wet?

Shaan: I was playing with the kids, so can I have a towel please

Khanak: why don't you have one in your big RV, I thought you came all prepared

Shaan thinks to himself I didn't think I would be staying here for so long I thought id have you home by now

Khanak: did you say something?

Shaan: No, nahin tho, I mean I forgot to bring one (and moves right hand up over and runs it through his hair- with the water droplets hitting khanaks face, shaan just stares at the droplets of khanak's face and has an urge to go up to her and kiss them)

As shaan moves closer to khanak she sees that look in his eye and gets butterflies and quickly turns around and says

Khanak: lati hoon and quickly runs from there she returns with a towel and hands it to him

Shaan removes his top, and khanaks eyes automatically look at his bare torso and slowly makes its way up towards his face. Shaan catches her looking and laughs

Shaan: if you like it that much why are you looking from so far away come closer ill even let you touch it ' and winks at her

Khanak fumbles: wh..why should I do that? aapke seeney mein toh kuch nahi hai joh mujhe choona ho

Shaan: Hai na khanak...mera dil

Khanak (sarcastic): acha? aapka dil bhi hai? kahan hai? mujhe kahin nahi dikh raha shaantanu.

Khanak blushes and tries to run away from there but shaan blocks her in with her standing against the wall, he leans in to kiss her to which he closes her eyes, as his lips are about to meet hers a water droplet falls from shaans hair onto khanak's forehead waking her up from the trance and she pushes him away. Shaan closes hands and makes his trademark fist looking annoyed- he was soooo close he thought to himself

Khanak: seriously shaantanu do you really think this is a game, is that your solution to everything, these acts of yours are truly sweet and under normal circumstances I would have been overjoyed at your efforts and love for me, but tell me do they solve the problem at hand. Tell me why are you doing all this and don't say it's because you love me because if you did you would know what your mistake was and why you have hurt me soo badly. Your just scared to lose me, kyunki ab meri saath rehke adaat ho choki hain is liye. Main pehle bhi keh choki hoon tum rishte ki ehmiat nahin samajte ho.

Shaan doesn't know what to say he is stumped, and tries to think of something to say but as he thinks khanak is about to walk away when shaan grabs her wrists and pulls her back until she falls back on him.

Shaan: but I do love you damn it, I don't know how to prove to you how much I love you and how sorry I really am that's why I've been doing all these things to show you my love and how I didn't know what love was until I loved you. Khanak you are the single most important thing that has ever happened to me and I can't lose you, and hugs her from behind.

Khanak's eyes well up but she tells herself, don't give in to him they're just words he may love you but stay strong he needs to show you remorse, and acknowledgement of the grave mistake in which he did in not trusting you, and your love.

Khanak turns around and looks into Shaan's eyes and says: ok I believe you (shaan's face lights up and a smile spreads across his face)

Shaan: Rea- Khanak interrupts

Khanak: wait I haven't finished, I believe that you love me, and you are sorry, but only because I'm not with you, you still don't know why you should be sorry hence you still don't know me. Until you figure this out I can't come back to you.

She tries to walk out but Shaan stops her with the pallu.

Khanak: Shaantanu, mujhe chodiye. mujhe aap se koi baat nahi karni.

Shaan: Kyu khanak? pulls her closer.

Khanak: kyu ke aap baat karne ke layak nahi hai.

Shaan: Kyu nahi hoon? acha baat na karo par dekh toh lo.

Khanak: Mujhe aapki taraf dekhna bhi nahi hai. Kyu dekhon aapko? aap koi ishtaar hai joh har koi aapko dekhna chahta hai?

Shaan comes closer and is right behind her. he sneaks his hand across her waist. For a minute Khanak felt the tingling sensation in her body but the next she remembered what happened. She slapped his hands and walked out.

Khanak turns around and starts to walk away, when shaan grabs the pallu of her sari

Khanak: Im serious

Shaan upset and confused lets go of the pallu and khanak walks out of the house, leaving shaan with his thoughts, she really is mad, I thought after all this she would happily come back with me to Mumbai, why is she mad it's not because I questioned her in front of my friends we've already established that par kyun?

He sits down on the bed with his hands over his face when Anand walks in.

Anand: Arey Shaan tum yahaan? Pushpa kidhar chali?

Shaan looks up confused and says: Pushpa? Then recalling the time in the paathshala where khanak was trying to find out how well he knew his parents and how they were going to name him that as they were convinced he was going to be a girl, and he automatically smiles.

Anand: Arey woh, um Khanak

Shaan: Woh bahar chali gaayi, wait a minute how do you know khanak?

Anand: I met her on the bus on the way back to dhulwadi, she looked really sad and lost, so I tried really hard to make her laugh but was unsuccessful and just irritated her. I just want to help her out as bechari is alone here, and I want see her smile the villagers say she was a bubbly free spirited girl, who always laughed and joked around. Wait how do you know khanak?

Shaan: mein uska husband, PATI (points at himself) hoon? And now that I'm back I can take care of khanak (he said this in a possessive way) and I'll return the smile on her face (with confidence), but thank you for looking out for her (his tone becomes more soft as he realises even the villagers know khanak is upset and care about her and are trying to make her laugh all I do is make her cry)

Anand: so you're the famous shaantanu, even though you guys have had an argument Khanak is always talking about you she even made a wish list and guess what her first wish was to see you settled in your work and to see you successful

Shaan: what really (thinks in his head even now she thinks of me first and tears start to fall) did she tell you that we argued (turning his head and wiping away his tears so anand doesn't see)

Anand: No she didn't I guessed seeing her state on the bus and her being all alone, and yes that was her first wish? If you don't mind me asking whats happened between the two of you?

Shaan was first a little reluctant to tell Anand but thought he was stuck he didn't know what to do and could do with any support or advice he can get, he really wanted khanak back in his life, so he tells Anand everything from the mms- to the day in the caf to the conversation he just had with khanak.

Anand stayed silent until shaan finished re-telling the events which has led to this situation and felt pity for shaan losing the trust of his beautiful and loving wife khanak- burthal he still doesn't get it, after pointing the finger at such a savatri devi and that too his wife and not having any trust their relationship he thought he'd win her back soo easily. Now I understand why khanak's second wish was for shaan to get his senses back, if only I told him that.

Shaan just stared at Anand waiting for a response, when he realised he wasn't going to get one he says

Shaan: so what is my mistake, how can I win khanak back, I can't live without her.

Anand snaps out of his thoughts and looks at shaan

Anand: I don't know if I should be the one to tell you what your mistake was, you should work that out yourself, that's how she would want it, as for winning her back once you work out your mistake you'll work that out too.

Shaan: thanks man (sarcastically) I just poured out my life story and that's all the help you're going to give me, if I knew what it was do you think I would have told you anything.

Anand thinks this is a pickle he really is a lost cause, burthal maybe I should tell him, they say reuniting lovers is one of the best deeds you could do in one's lifetime, and who knows how much time we have on this world or how much time I have left'''''''..

hope you enjoyed it xx

part 1, pg1

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/rang-badalti-odhani/1613689/ss-maaf-kardo-khanak-update-final-part-pg10

part 2, pg 5

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/rang-badalti-odhani/1613689/ss-maaf-kardo-khanak-update-final-part-pg10?pn=5

part 3, pg7

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/rang-badalti-odhani/1613689/ss-maaf-kardo-khanak-update-final-part-pg10?pn=7

part 4, pg 10
Edited by rafia 24 - 14 years ago

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SidNeeti-fan thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#2
awsm...hope dis actually happens😉....u r a superb writer gal👏...

way to go
tofeeees thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#3
rafia you sexy writer! it was AWESOME! especially loved the part where khanak says "kyun dekhoo aap koi istahaar hain kya?!" ROFLL!!! Fantastic SS! loved it! muah!
priya_cool_123 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#4
rain awesome yaar... beautifully written... loved it... pls continue dear
rafia 24 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#5
thanks alisha, beeni (and that line was rooj's input 😆), gaayu, priya and varsha
2nd part is better and will put it up soon xxx
thanks for liking shilpa
sweetsute thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#6
hey rafia

u r a splendid writer yaar...........it was so beautiful, cute and sexy too.....

loved all the dialogues....

it blends so easily wid the current storyline esp the precap.....hope dey show something like dat..

loved it n continue it

else 😡😡
SPN_JD_Addicted thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#7
Rafia AWESOME!!!!Can we have this today please?Along with cute nok-jhok we also need these type of HOT scenes lol.Very well written.Loved it!Goes without saying,waiting eagerly for the next part!
simikr thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#8
Didn't I say it dear?? You are just amazing and everything is so plausible!!😃
Will get back to you soon!!😉
destinylove thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#9
OMG!! rain loved it loved it loved It !!!!!.u are seriously very good yaar.👏
rooj-i thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#10
Told you it was good....

good job Rainy...now get on with the next part...

btw why r u giving me unnecessary attention...i didn't do anything...u are the one creative mind behind it. lol. sheesh woman!

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