OS: New OS Idea Pg 77

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May

@The_May_Rose

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 14 years ago

#111

👏👏Awesome...Fabulous....Goodness Beeni, I loved it!....Loved the jokes too LOL several times😆....

The present dialogue writers need to take a look at the FF writers on our forum....

Btw....Great setting and Khanak working at a school was perfect😊.....

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Sairaaaa

@Sairaaaa

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#112

Hello...Beeni!

I'm fine, you? *hugs* 🤗

I'm extremely sorry...I didn't get the chance to read your previous OS's last night due to workload. Just read the latest one...So let's get complimenting on this 😃

OK. Firstly I love the setting and your narrative style, truely it's lovely and you just go with the flow...Do you get what I mean? LOL!It's intriguing the fact you got Sam pregnant...So cannot imagine her as MOMMY yet! BUT I love the fact you at least gave wet Khanak in the RAIN *bold* you know how much fetish I have about ShaNak being in rain anyhow! I love you...fulfilled my wish *hugs*This is totally ShaNak...I still can imagine the same way Shaan will look at Khanak after 3 years...I love you for keeping they're essence!

Secondly...I LOVE LOVE this Khanak,so wish that creatives bring out this story in RBO at least her being educated and finding her OWN aim! You have brought Khanak character to another level...this is another reason why I love your style,you have showed the depth of characters!

THIRDLY...LOL! 😆 I adored Khanak and Sam change of relationship...I really seriously can imagine them like this as both opposite but they can grasp so much from each other! Truly different colours working together rock! You showed it beautifully 😍

OK...LASTLY now! 😛 I loved ShaNak ...but poor Shaan! 😆How did he wait for so long Beeni!😲 But I'm awed over the fact that he kissed her wet hair...totally shaan type na? LOVED! And that the conversation they had on babies totally ShaNak style! Ok...better stop I'm gone go on and on about this!

It's amazing the first 2 parts, waiting eagerly for the third and I promise I read your other OS by this week and comment on each and every one! I'm hoping the comments won't become a long essay as I totally floored by your style! ⭐️

Love and lots of 🤗

Edited by -Saira- - 14 years ago

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Sejal

@-Leah-

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#113

Oh man.!! Too much.!!😆 ...Singapore..nice..but that vigorous smooch..i think i will pass for that one.😆...dont want to see that ever ever ever.😆.Very nicely written Beenz..maybe you should open a dialogue section so that the CV's can get some help.😆

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tofeeees

@tofeeees

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#114

@ hinna : thanks dude! *hugs* hang on! what in the world are you thinking??!! are you by any chance thinking that khanak has NOT allowed shaan to get close to him for THREE years!!??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO that's not it!! LOL! Khanak just does not want a baby that's it cuz she doesn't want to give birth in a forign country! she hasn't stopped shaan from you know doing the daandiya raas or anything! samjhee? LOL i would NEVER want shaan to tarpofy yaar! how could you even think that?!

@sampar: thanks! no where close to what you write though😳 hehe!

@May: Thank you yaar! i always wanted to watch khanak getting properly educated! i hope they show us this sometime in the show too! :)

@Saira: OMGGG! i think that is the longest comment i have ever got on an OS or a FF LOL! Thanks a lot! *hugs* i knew you would love shanak in the rain! haha! LOL you're thinking like hinaa too!😲 yaaarr! shaan and khanak have a normal hubby wifey relationship yaar! shaan has not waited long for ANYTHING! LOL

@ Sehju: lol thanks! but whyyyyyyyyyy! you don't want to see a smooch?? i thought you WANTED to! what is wrong with you sehjal!? hmph!

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Sairaaaa

@Sairaaaa

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#115

Beeni...You are mostly welcome 🤗

^^I'm going to read your other OS's this week...I'm scared that I might post an whole essay of to you,really need get rid of this analytics skill...LOL! I just blabber on and on to an point which get boring sometimes! I'm sorry! 😳

I know ShaNak have a 'normal' relationship...It was just to tease you,as I could not pinpoint a single mistake or flaw in the OS!

I'll be waiting for the 3rd...update soon!

Edited by -Saira- - 14 years ago

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tofeeees

@tofeeees

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#116

Of Friends and Babies: Last Part

After what seemed like ages Rahul and Sam broke off but Rahul still had eyes for only Sam. Sam's face was expressionless as she looked into Rahul's eyes, dazed. Rahul held her face with both his hands and bumped his head into hers. Then his hand moved towards Sam's protruded stomach and he touched it lightly and then hugged Sam. Sam seemed to have come to her senses as she released herself form Rahul's grip, she shook him off aggressively, pushed him away using both her hands, gave him a dirty look and marched into her room.

It was then that Shaan announced, chuckling away " Oh well, looks like all married men are not lucky after all!" Khanak recovered from her blushing state and went up to Rahul who placed an arm around her and hugged her lightly " Hi bhabhi, how've you been? I can see you enjoyed the rain?" he added laughing, totally forgetting that his wife had just punched him angrily in the chest and left.

Shaan hi-fived Rahul and muttered " You need to pamper her dude, I've been getting lectured on pampering pregnant women the entire month that you were away!", he said, looking pointedly at Khanak. Rahul laughed and gave Shaan a hug too. " Time to make use of the lecture yourself then isn't it?" Shaan said nothing and just sighed. Rahul continued "Thanks yaar! Sam ka khayaal rakhnay kay liyay! Thanks bhabhi.Bhaabi can i get some of that paneer saag bhaaji that you made, I'm starving!"

Khanak looked shocked. "Aap ko kaisay pata chala?!" she asked while Shaan rolled his eyes at his wife's stupidity. Rahul didn't answer. He was very shareeef that way. All his perverted jokes were only reserved for Shaan, Khanak Bhabhi was like a younger sister who was off limits when it came to such things. Sensing the awkward silence, Shaan said " Aray meri pyari biwi. Tumharay khaanay kee khushboo toh puray ghar main phalii hui hain! Just go and warm the food for him now." Khanak looked pleased and bustled off. Rahul looked relieved and thanked Shaan. "I better go and fix some damage dude" Rahul said, slapping Shaan on the back.

Rahul entered the room to see Sam sitting at the corner of the bed, muttering to herself furiously. Rahul went and sat down beside her and said "You weren't so furious five minutes ago when you were responding to my kiss. I guess the mood swing theory has some basis then doesn't it?" Sam looked up at Rahul fully prepared to say something mean but as soon as she saw his face, her eyes filled with love. She didn't know why, she didn't know how but the next second she was hugging Rahul and crying her eyes out at his shoulder. "I missed you so much" she kept saying again and again, sobbing all the more. "Shusshhh, ub main kahee nahi ja raha" Rahul said, rubbing her back. "Oyay Khotay!" Sam yelled, making Rahul jump. She got hold of his collar and said "Agar tum nay JAANAY ka socha bhee na to main tumharay chotay chotay tukray kar kay khotay ko hee khila doongee!".Rahul fought the urge to burst out laughing and feigning a very serious and scared face said "Theek hain Sam nahi jaoonga yaar... i mean nahi sochoo ga yaar!"

Sam and Rahul went out for dinner that night. They were moving back into their own apartment the next day but Sam was in no mood to pack. Khanak had finally got a chance to change her clothes and had worn a light pink and green sari leaving her hair lose.Khanak had resumed wearing saris when she moved to Singapore. It was one of the things that kept her connected to the country she loved. Shaan had reminded Rahul to take the apartment keys when they were leaving "Why? Are you guys going somewhere too?" Rahul had asked. "Well , we might! You never know" said Shaan, trying to sound casual. Khanak skipped dinner, complaining of a queasy stomach but Shaan ate as though it was the last meal of his life or perhaps because he wanted to keep himself busy till the soccer match on TV ended. Khanak was almost done tidying the cupboard when Shaan entered and said" Kaam hogaya?"

"Hmmm", Khanak said distractedly. Then she remembered what Shaan wanted and blushed, Even after three years of married life, Khanak could not explain the feelings that Shaantanu evoked in her. The more she tried to look casual and unaffected by that man standing behind her, the more she was unable to. Shaan came closer and hugged her from the back, burying his face in her hair and taking in the essence of the shampoo. Khanak flinched and shivered slightly, "Khanak tum bhee na! Kya hua?" Shaan asked teasingly

"Kuch nahi" said Khanak softly, trying and failing miserably, to sound composed. Shaan chuckled and said "Khanak, we've been married 3 years! i know you inside out! Kya main nahee jaanta kay---kay ajj bhee---jub main tumko choota hoon---toh tum kaanp jatii ho?" he placed his head on her shoulder and whispered in her ear.

"Aisee koi baat nahi hain" Khanak tried to sound defiant but failed again.

"Acha? Just look at you Khanak! Tum aisay sharmaati hon jaisay tum koi naee dulhan ho! Humari shaadi kee raat ko bhee tum itna nahi sharmai thee" Shaan laughed and kept his arms firmly around Khanak's waist. " It's okay Khanak" he whispered " It's been years but i am still crazy about you too! More now i think than ever! We're in the same boat"

Khanak was listening but hardly anything registered.She turned around and hugged her Shaantanu. The hug broke off and Khanak lowered her gaze. She always did that when Shaan came close to her. Shaan cupped her face with one hand and kissed her quivering lips very softly. He wanted to do this slowly. Khanak liked it that way, he knew. Patience was something that he had learnt from her, be it at work or in his love life. Patience was something that would finally end his long wait for a baby.

Khanak eyes shot open at exactly 7 AM the next morning and as she looked at the watch and wondered why, she felt her stomach going queasy again. She removed Shaan's arm from across her waist and rushed to the bathroom and threw up. She threw up two more times before she finally felt better. Feeling faint, she dressed quickly and went to the kitchen to prepare herself some green tea. When she entered she already saw Sam sitting there, a steaming mug in her hand. "It's not coffee" she announced when she saw Khanak. "Kya hua. You look green" she added. Khanak sat down and told Sam she threw up. "You're pregant", Sam said uninterestedly as though she was used to saying it to herself every morning. "Kya?" said Khanak shocked. "Oh sorry i forgot. You don't want to have a kid in 'this country'" Sam said making inverted commas with her fingers again at the last two words. Khanak said nothing. Sam spoke up "You know what. I was just packing and i found a pregnancy test thing in my samaan. Why don't you go and take it?" Khanak refused at first, then agreed. There was nothing to lose afterall.

Fifteen minutes later a harassed Khanak was striding up and down her living room while an amused Sam with an i-told-you-so look on her face looked on, while Shaan and Rahul sleeped peacefully in thier respective rooms. "Main preganant hoon" Khanak kept repeating to herself, hoping that Shaan would just hear it, just like that walking past the living room. But no Shaan came, and the realization hit Khanak that she would have to so this herself, face to face. Just when she plucked up the courage to enter her room Rahul walked out of his, yawning. " Hiiiii" he yawned and picked up Sam's undrunk mug of tea.

"Rahul! Khanak pregnant hain!" Sam exclaimed, making Rahul choke on his tea and Khanak glare at her.

"What!" said Rahul, wiping his mouth. "Bhabhee! Congrats! Where's Shaan? No wonder he was giving me pampering advice yesterday!"

"Unn ko nahi pata", said Khanak twiddling her fingers.

"Bhabhi you're happy right?" Rahul asked. Khanak had not thought about it. What followed after she had taken the test was just shock and shock and more shock. Here she and Shaan had only started to plan a family last night and there she was already pregnant! Sam came close and placed an arm around Khanak's shoulder "Ofcourse she is happy!" Sam answered for her, glowing. Khanak smiled broadly and looked down. "Oh my God! Not the whole sharmoing bit again!" said Sam exasperatedly.

When Khanak entered her room she was surpised to see the room all cleaned up and Shaan in the shower. She waited for him and when he came out he looked at Khanak and smiled naughtily. Approaching her he placed his arms around her neck and said "Khanak---I love you" and smiled. Khanak looked into his eyes and said "Shaantanu I, ermm I errr I" . Shaan said "Haan bolo---tum bole sakti ho Khanak--ub toh kitneeeee baar bole chuki ho!" Khanak tried again "Shaantanu I ....I'm Pregnant!" she blurted out.

Shaan's face went blank as the force of the words hit him. "Huh? Itni jaldi?" he managed at last, after what seemed like a few minutes.

"Nahi burthal!" Khanak said forcefully. "Main pregnant hoon! buhat dinoh say hoon!"

"Kya!!Toh tumnay mujhay pehlay kyun nahi bataya!" Shaan exclaimed. "Main itnaaaaaayyyy dinoh say tumko bachay kay liyaya mananay kee koshish kar raha tha!"

"Haan toh main maan toh gaee thee na!" Khanak said loudly

"What difference does that make? You agreed LAST NIGHT! and you've been pregnant for i don't know HOW many nights! I have been thinking of a million ways to make you agree! and you're ALREADY pregnant?!"

"Acha! Ub yay bhee mera kasoor hain! Shaantanu aap aisa kaisay bole saktay hain" Khanak was now becoming angry.

"Urghh! I should have known!i can't believe i spent so much time cajoling you!" Shaan gave tit for tat

"Fine! Don't believe it! Don't even believe that you're going to become a father! Don't believe anything!"

Shaan opened his mouth to retort then closed it as Khanak's words made a way into his head. It was not their meaning, It was the language. It was the first time that Khanak had thrown an entire sentence in english at Shaan. With others she would speak in english but with Shaan, she would always use Hindi. It was a reminder of the blissful first six months of their marriage, six moths that she did not want to get out of her system. She had never told Shaan this.

"Did you just speak in english?" Shaan asked, totally disregarding her furious face.

Outside the room Sam and Rahul heard voices, loud and clear "Are they fighting?" Sam asked Rahul, not daring to know the answer. "I think so" agreed Rahul.Sam snorted "Iss say achay toh hum hain yaar!" . Rahul cleared his throat loudly, hoping it would help in bloking the voices coming . "You got everything packed? We should leave!"

Khanak did not answer Shaan's question but walked to the other side of the room. Shaan stood like an idiot for a while until the words Khanak had spoken started making sense. " A father" he whispered. " I am going to be a father" he said again . " A FATHER" he exclaimed and strode across the room and hugged Khanak, lifting her off the floor.

Rahul and Sam meant to disappear quietly but just when they were at the door Shaan barged out of his room and went straight for Rahul, hugged him and repeated " I'm going to be a father" He hugged Sam too, touched her stomach, bent down and said "Stay away from my daughter alright?" for Sam had come to know a week ago that she was carrying a boy.

"Whatever Shaan! You don't know your kid will be a girl" said Sam in a matter of fact way, rolling her eyes.

"I know" said Shaan softly, looking at Khanak, his eyes twinkling

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Daebak

@Daebak

Trailblazer

+ 7

Posted: 14 years ago

#117

Awwwwwwwwwwwww !! Such a cuteeeeeeeeeeee part !!!!

Lovely !!!!!

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May

@The_May_Rose

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 14 years ago

#118

Beeeennnnniiii!🤗👏👏.....Dill kush kadiya.....Our forum has the best writers....You guys save us from our story starvation👏⭐️.....Please let the CVs get some insipration from you.....

Liked how both couples were depicted too😃