Asya TS: NYC Christmas - Last part, page 8 - Page 5

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Posted: 11 years ago
#41

Originally posted by: juggaad


I hope Raquesh gives you the inspiration to write😆.

Raqesh🤣.
I used to get inspiration from a beautiful story being told in QH. that went downhill with ZoYaan. It came back up for a few days and now we are back to square one since last night.😕
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Posted: 11 years ago
#42

Originally posted by: GitaIyer

Hey Rivs,
First and foremost, you write beautifully.🤗
I'm not too much into reading FFs, TS or OS. Glad, I read this one. It was really beautiful.

Secondly, I've never celebrated christmas, so got a glimpse of how christmas is celebrated.
Loved the way narrative intervened the present with the past. Now, waiting for the future.


She sighed longingly as she thought of last Christmas.
Intrigued, to know happened after last christmas. The 'sighed longingly' could mean anything. I can imagine a lot many things.😉
He gave her a shy smile as his hand rubbed the back of his neck. The dimple on his cheek played hide and seek while he continued to talk.
Reminded me of KSg's Asad.

"Oh good...good" he smiled to himself before he realized what he had said. "Woh...I mean... good night."
This 'Woh actually' i mean 'Woh... I mean' has a feel-good-factor.

It was Lovely Rivs. have bookmarked your index, will reply as and when I read each one of them.

They Gite,
Thanks for reading. I write coz I enjoy doing it. As you must have noticed from my posts...i am very verbose so writing helps me get my thoughts down. And keeps me busy.

Thanks for the compliments. I used to love Christmas when I was in USA. Everyone celebrated it differently. There were the religious ones for whom it was more of religious thing and then the frivolous who did it for the fun of it. And then the ones in between. I took inspiration from Christmas stories I had heard from friends and acquaintances about how they do it at their place. The spirit is very much like Diwali has now become in India.

Hmm...aisa kuch nahi...she is longing to see her man who may not show up for Christmas this year. Lol. I am strictly NO Mature content in my FFs/OSs.😉😆

Yes, the smile and the and rubbing the neck.😳. Who says I don't miss V1.0? I am just someone who moves on.😉

Woh Actually is my favorite phrase to use. I may forget Allah Miyan in my stories but not woh actually.😆

I will post the next part tomorrow. Take ur time, u don't have to read it really.😆
Rivs
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Posted: 11 years ago
#43
nice part.
Cont asap
thanx 4 d pm.
T.c
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Posted: 11 years ago
#44

Originally posted by: metoyou

Tadaaa, look who is here?! All the way from...Antartica 😃

It took a while but you know what they: der aaye durust aaye. So here I am, ek dum fresh and in a very good lazy mood 😳
Thank god u are here before I put up the next part. I was afraid u would do comments in one post.😆

This brought, ek dum back, to the Christmas time and mood. Loved the way you described Christmas time. I could totally imagine myself sitting there and enjoying it, as if I was Zoya.
The cold, the snow, the people, the lights, the coffee (I prefer tea or a hot chocolate) just everything was so lovely.
Yes Christmas mood is always so fun. Isn't it? I know u like tea but kya karein Americans are into coffee.

she had bumped into a tall solidly-built guy she had never seen before (Can I bump into him too?) 😳
Sure be my guest.

the absence of Jeeju and Aapi (Ah, they are not here)
Nope not there. The endless possibilities but don't forget we are talking about a prude here.

Asad Ahmed Khan or A-sad A-mad Kaan as Danny called him (It's Khan from the epiglottis)
I had friend Waqas Ahmed in US, all the amrus would call him WaaK-ass A-Mad...it was hilarious.

"I owe you one." (So what will he give her eventually?)
Hmm...let's see what he gives besides his heart.

After his voice, she noticed a lot more about him, especially his deep brown chocolate eyes, his Greek God looks and the attractive dimple that peeped out ever so slightly whenever he smiled (Can I add one more thing? His jawline...) ☺️
Yes the jawline...Raqesh does have a very sexy jawline...😉

"He thought we were out on a real date. He did not want to be the third wheel (Aww...Mr. Khan. You can never be a third wheel) 😉
Well what is that bechara to think..the girl freely goes in and out of the house thru the back door and then hugs him openly. Aur to aur plans to go out the next day in front of the parents.
woh actually (Lovely, his signature line) 😊
Uski style his signature...oo Asad...
Zoya was lost in his voice and eyes (Seriously, who wouldn't?)
Yes...love at first sight??
"Oh good...good" - "Woh...I mean... good night." (And he falls in love with her...)
yes...and uski naiya doobi...


Okay, that's it! I have made my choice: this SS is your best! There is something real about it; the way Christmas is celebrated, the way she goes to the Franks for the Christmas dinner, the way she meets a guy through another friend and the way they story develops.
Brings the reader totally in the mood. Very well written, good flow in the story, easy and very light 👏 A very feel good story! 👍🏼And I am totally loving it 😃
Oh one more thing: I fell in love with Asad Ahmed Khan all over again... 😳
Aww Narges...u really liked this one right? I am glad u did...I hope u like the next one too. You know Christmas to me all about the feel good thing. So I am glad I could bring it to you. I am so bummed I could not put it up for the contest coz then it would be perfect for a Christmas read.
Rivi, thank you sooo much for this! Again, this is your best work. BAS.
Thanks dearie
BTW...thanks for mentioning my name. Did I really push and encourage you to write? I did not do anything! This is all your own time and effort! Phir bhi, thanks! 🤗
Yes I was close to not wanting to finish it but u were so excited when I told u I have this one pending too. See I could write and not post it too. So u get some credit.

I want to read more...jaldi, jaldi 😛
(Yes, I am going to take that encouragement very seriously now. Matlab, stalker alert!)😈
Yes tomorrow morning will be the next update.


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Posted: 11 years ago
#45
First of all a big thank you to all of you who commented.
About this update - I have taken some creative liberties in this TS
1. Central Park is vast, I have just highlighted some scenes for a general overview. What I describe may or may not be an exact location in CP.
2. Asad in this part, you will not recognize. But I wanted this TS to end the way it does and I hope you like it. Or like I told Narges last night - Like it Leave it. I am keeping the story as I envisioned it. 😉😆

Next post has some pics and videos-

Here is the update now
XXX

Zoya sighed again as she played with the bracelet, the one that Asad has presented her last year on Christmas. Since then the two of them had made a lot of progress in their relationship. They had gone from acquaintances to best friends to officially dating in matter of a few months. Theirs was a long distance relationship that had mostly developed over long phone and skype chats. The distance was a hindrance, but they made a point to meetup as often as it was possible. No occasion was small enough to skip a meeting, birthdays, long weekends, everything.

The shy reticent Asad that she had first encountered was now a thing of the past. Overtime, she got to see a whole new layer to his personality. Learning of his past life, the hardships he had faced growing up as the head of the family, supporting his mother and raising his baby sister gave Zoya a better insight into the man she was in awe of. The more she learnt of him, the deeper she fell in love with him.

Thinking about him and his absence made her gloomy. They had not yet discussed the future of their relationship. They had already found their soul mates in each other yet the distance had stopped them from thinking of a future together. Plus Asad always spoke about heading back to India in a few years, and she was not sure what she had wanted.

She was lost in her thoughts, when she saw a couple walk past. The wife was heavily pregnant, and the man was holding on to her hand, making sure that she did not miss her step. The looked so much in love.

Christmas of Future

A pregnant Zoya sat on the bed, munching on a slice of Pizza and skyping with her friends and family in NY, while Asad sat on the sofa across from her trying his best not to yank the pizza away from her and the bed. He cringed every time she spoke with her mouth full and as the crumbs from the pizza crust made its way down on the pristine white bed sheets. But the very next minute he smiled and was at her side, as she rubbed her belly and winced in pain.

"Are you okay?" Asad asked a teary eyed Zoya who nodded in a yes just as Danny spoke up from the other end.

"It's just the baby is constantly kicking. And I am just missing you all so much and Christmas." Zoya spoke just before she started a full blown crying session.

Asad quickly wished everyone good bye and closed the computer in order to give his undivided attention to his wife, who had of late become over sensitive and dramatic.

"Zoya. Baby. Shhh. You know you cannot travel this year. Next year, I promise we will travel to NYC for Christmas. Afterall our baby needs to see the place and experience the festival that brought us together." He spoke sweet nothings in her ears as he patted her back, getting her to eventually calm down.

-End-

Zoya opened her eyes and found a lone tear making its way down her cheek. She quickly rubbed it away and looked around wistfully. She saw a family with two kids making snow angels and playing with snow balls. Yes she would miss this, because a future with Asad meant a future in India, where it never snowed. She may not be able to celebrate Christmas either, definitely not the way she did here.

An older passed in front of her holding each other's hands. They took as seat on the bench close to hers and started talking and laughing together. Despite their age, they still looked like a perfectly in love couple. Her sadness from before about living away from NYC was replaced by the feeling of contentment. Wasn't being in love all about this? Growing old with each other and still being in love? Did it really matter whether that would be in US or in India or for that matter in Timbuktu? This thought brought a smile on her face and the water works in her eyes started all over again. She finally realized what was important for her and it was to be with the man that had captured her heart. The man without whom, the future held no meaning.

She made a decision on the spot that when the next opportunity arose, she would let Asad know how she felt. She did not want to dilly dally on this matter anymore. She stood up to make her way home and get ready for the party at the Franks.

In a distance, she saw a decorated carriage rolling down the path. It was definitely headed towards where she stood. She could hear faint strains of music coming from the carriage but could not make out the music. Curiosity got the better of her, and she decided to wait it out and see what all the fanfare was about.

As the carriage got closer, she noticed that there sat a Santa sitting on the bench and he was passing out gifts to the passersby. What a novel way to spread some cheer? The sounds of the music got clearer as the carriage kept moving in her direction.

Few people who were just loitering around started moving to the music, all in sync. Zoya was enthralled.

{Please hear this song when you read the next part}

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE_1tS2qtpo[/YOUTUBE]

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree

I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you, yeah.

Just as the last line was spoken, the pregnant couple from before joined the dancing crowd, which had grown since. Zoya was surprised to see the ease with which the lady was dancing, it was only then that she realized what was happening. She had heard of mobs and such, but it looked like she was going to get a chance to actually witness something like that first hand.

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
And I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree

I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas Day

I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You, baby

A few more people had joined into the dancing. They were all dancing in sync and it looked surreal. She quickly checked her watch and realized that she was already late. She wanted to walk away but she was surprised when the older couple from earlier stood up from their place and walked by her again but this time winking at her. They ended up joining the mob too.

Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
And I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe

I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click

'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do?
Baby, all I want for Christmas is you
You, baby

The music was now picking up pace. Zoya could not help moving to it either. She knew she should get going, but for some reason her feet were not listening to what her brain commanded. She stood rooted in spot, moving to the tune, and curious to know what was about to happen next.

The carriage had now come close enough for her to notice the Santa in it. He turned towards her and winked at her shocking her. Those eyes, the only part of the face that was visible, looked oddly familiar. She was not able to place them yet, when her attention was diverted to the giant gift bag on the carriage. The crowd that had gathered around her to watch the mob, started to gasp in surprise as a figure rose out of the bag.

Zoya, who had finally climbed onto the bench to see what had happened, was stunned to see the sight atop the carriage. She pinched her cheeks to confirm that she was not dreaming.

Asad stood there, in front of her, on the carriage, dressed to the nines in a tuxedo no less. She watched as he stepped down from the carriage, singing the words of the song.

Oh, all the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air

And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need?
Won't you please bring my baby to me?

As he made his way towards her, he too was dancing with the mob, which had slowly moved towards her replacing the carriage which stood there a few seconds ago. For a man that detested dancing, Asad was doing a pretty good job of it. Streams of tears were falling out of her eyes by now, blurring her vision. She rubbed away the tears as fast as she could, not wanting to miss anything.

By the time, she was able to see everything clearly, Asad was already in front of her, kneeling down on a bended knee.

Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door

Oh, I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, all I want for Christmas is you
You, baby

All I want for Christmas is you, baby
All I want for Christmas is you, baby
All I want for Christmas is you, baby
All I want for Christmas is you, baby

She was staring at Asad who was now holding a beautiful solitaire ring in his hand. He was looking at her expectantly and she did not know what to make of it. It was only when his voice spoke to her and asked her to be his wife, to be his forever and more, did she finally come out of her stupor. The dancing was all done now and most of the mob had disappeared save the Santa and the pregnant and the older couple. The crowd surrounding them was encouraging her to accept him.

She held his outstretched hand as she stepped down from the bench and was soon drowning into those deep brown eyes that stared at her with so much emotion in it. The tears of joy did not stop rolling down which had Asad a little worried. She could hardly believe that her usually introverted Asad would go to these lengths to please the drama queen in her.

"Zoya, my love, I am really sorry. Please don't cry. I thought you would like this, but I guess it was too soon. I am sorry for springing this up on you like this but I just had to take my chance. Maybe I should not have..." she stopped him midsentence by placing her hand on his lips. She could not bear to hear the anguish in his voice.

"Shh...I am not mad at you. I am just too happy. It's a yes silly. Now put that rock on my finger." She ordered him, smiling through her tears.

The happy couple was loudly cheered and congratulated by the now thinning crowd. Santa started to take off his beard and the two couples also started to take off the extra mufflers and jackets they were wearing. Zoya was in for a bigger shock now because she found Danny, Appi, Jeeju as well as the Franks all in front of her. She could not believe that they were all in on this.

She could not believe her luck. She realized that she was one of the luckiest girls in the whole wide world. She not only had the best family one could ask for, but she had met a man who completed her. She sent a quick prayer to Allah, thanking Him for all His blessings and mostly for Christmas. The season that had given her everything I could ever want.

XXX
Rivs
Edited by QueenOfMyCastle - 11 years ago
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Posted: 11 years ago
#46
Bracelet:

Scene for the setting





An idea for the Mob

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCDyiyF4Z3g[/YOUTUBE]
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui7mh6CeVbE[/YOUTUBE]
Edited by QueenOfMyCastle - 11 years ago
anushreemishra thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#47
Res
Unres
Finally I am here di..sabse pehle kaan pakad ke sorry and uthak baithak bhi lagaye maine
I wanted to write a long comment and I just didn't get time to sit in peace but finally I am here and since i am just leaving only one comment I hope this long one can make up for it...😳😳😳Ab se mera ek ghanta sirf aur sirf mere guruji ke naam😳😳

Omg i couldn't believe that I got the first spot😲😲😲I have been away from IF so long that I forgot how good it felt to get the first spot and especially when it comes to your stories...I did my happy dance that morning even though I was tired from not sleeping the whole night😆😆😆

And before I go on to talk about the update I would like to thanku di for dedicating this to me on my bday...Thanku so much di...Even though i received this present late but I was very very happy with my present and i felt so loved and special...I am so lucky to have you in my life di..
Lots of pappis and jhappis for you🤗🤗🤗

I think I have bored you enough with my nonstop nonsense so let us talk about the TS now...

CHAPTER 1
Omg di this had to one of the best works i have read so far...I love how much detailing and describing you do in your stories but you outdid yourself this time...The way you described the christmas festivies in the opening couple of paras I could imagine and picture everything like i was the one sitting in central park and sipping that Gingerbread latte...

Wow bumping into each other in the Bakery...zoya will remember those sweets forever😳😳

Asad Ahmed Khan or A-sad A-mad Kaan as Danny called him
Omg this was brilliant🤣🤣

I loved the whole Asya being each other's secret santa stuff...😳😳😳
So both zoya and asad were smitten with each other from the very beginning😳😳😳

"Hmm, woh, can I ask you something? You don't have to answer but I have been wondering if you know, you and Danny, I mean, are you guys...?" Asad had not even finished the question before Zoya jumped in remembering her earlier conversation with Danny.

"Oh no no nooo. We are not. Never. Impossible. Not in this lifetime. Not ever." She spoke, vehemently shaking her head in the negative and trying to laugh it off.

"Oh good...good" he smiled to himself before he realized what he had said. "Woh...I mean... good night." He said and quickly turned around to leave.

This was classic Asya...I could totally imagine Asad trying to enquire about zoya and Danny's relationship status and being very uncomfotable and hesistant in doing so and zoya trying not to sound very over excited to deny any such possibilty😆😆


CHAPTER 2

Can i say i loved how beautifully and smoothly the transitions between the different Christmases have been...Not for a second i felt they were sudden or did i lose the connect with the present...It was as i mentioned above like I was Zoya sitting in central park and seeing flashbacks of my past and imagining my possible future...

I especially loved how Zoya sees a pregnant couple and then we see a possible future Christmas of Asya and then when we are back to present the way zoya tears up seeing the family with two kids...Very beautifully written and very touching di😳😳😳


Wasn't being in love all about this? Growing old with each other and still being in love? Did it really matter whether that would be in US or in India or for that matter in Timbuktu?

These were such simple lines di but the story had me so engrossed and when i read this it was like I was questioning myself and discovering love is all about being with your loved one.


She made a decision on the spot that when the next opportunity arose, she would let Asad know how she felt. She did not want to dilly dally on this matter anymore.

Omg this was so perfect.The moment zoya decides to tell asad about how she feels he will surprise her with the best Christmas present ever😳😳😳and you were absolutely right the romantic in me absolutely loved this chapter😳😳


Omg omg omg this was such a perfect proposal...I had a huge smile while reading it...It was as if asad was proposing me😆😆😆The flash mob idea and everyone from Franks' dancing was so so so sweet and i loved the song😳😳

I know this wasn't Asad but i loved your version of extremely romantic asad😳😳


Ah and zoya gets a solitaire...WOW...now i wish it was indeed me whom asad was proposing😆😆😆

"Zoya, my love, I am really sorry. Please don't cry. I thought you would like this, but I guess it was too soon. I am sorry for springing this up on you like this but I just had to take my chance. Maybe I should not have..." she stopped him midsentence by placing her hand on his lips. She could not bear to hear the anguish in his voice.

"Shh...I am not mad at you. I am just too happy. It's a yes silly. Now put that rock on my finger." She ordered him, smiling through her tears.

Aww this was so damn cute and realistic...anyone would be overwhelmed by such a grand gesture and specially zoya and i loved her reaction and Asad's character was spot on too with him doubting himself and not wanting to hurt zoya by being hasty...

Loved it loved it I absolutely loved the proposal..It was like a dream but still felt so real😳😳


Di thanku so much for writing this brilliant piece of work..I loved reading it and re rereading while writing my comment...

And i absolutely loved what this Christmas had to offer me even if it was a little late...

Love you loads di and sorry for being so late❤️❤️

Edited by anushreemishra - 11 years ago
manognasai thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#48
Wow...Its awesome!👏Truly its the best gift any girl can get on Christmas,to be with her family,her man proposing her for marriage...❤️Loved it a lot...I can imagine the scene while reading this!😃
Edited by manognasai - 11 years ago
nilusoni thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#49
superb
thanx for pm
do pm me for next work

GoodGoneWrong thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#50

Originally posted by: nilusoni

superb

thanx for pm
do pm me for next work

Will do...I am working on another TS/SS.

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