AsYa TS: The Dawn of Togetherness - completed Page 5 - Page 2

Originally posted by: me2you

After a first long day at work, drinking a cup of tea while reading this beautiful piece of work, makes me forget my tiredness.

Aww...that is so sweet of you...🤗

First of all, thank you so much for dedicating this to me. That is very very sweet of you but it was just a mere idea, nothing more. It is totally your creativity and imagination so I would like to give the credit back to you 😊

Thanks but it was ur question that helped me start this TS.

Coming back to the story...

You have a tremendous knowlegde of the Hindi and English language. I believe that is very important for a writer in order to convey the right message to the reader. By using the right words you create a certain feeling and emotion for your reader. And trust me, that is not everyone's' cup of tea.

Thanks. Besides knowledge, there are other resources too..did I not tell you google is my best friend? But yes I cannot read something that is not written correctly and would prefer to not write like that. Like me hubby says, I should have been a teacher😆

Mehendi ka rang gehra hone se pehle hi hamari zindagi mein andhera cha gaya. (Beautiful contrast)

Tamatar jo kal khushi and sharm ke maare laal thi, woh aaj roh roh kar laal ho gayi hai. (Again very nice contrast)

and wiped out that smile he had worked so hard for. (Painful yet beautiful)

Thanks...the contrasts were the ones that took time to write...thanks for catching them.

And now the moment I was waiting for...

"Mr. Khan? Asad?" she touches my shoulder as she whispers my name, for the first time ever. (Mera dil ko sukoon mil gaya...) Did it work? I know a lot of people think it will be their SR, but I wanted it to be a more poignant moment, and totally unexpected. Like, just a slip of tongue too.

Of course, she would try to gain his attention by calling him 'Mr. Khan' first. But she knows that he is in pain and hurt. Calling him 'Asad' touched his heart and soul at the right time. He needed to feel this apnapann from her, it makes it stronger. Perfectly described what I was thinking.

"Can you say it again, please?"

"My name" I explain, the lines of worry ease from her face and she gives me the smile, the one that brightens up the darkest of my days. (This was my most favorite part) 😳

He want her to say it again. Why? Because that one name from her mouth and lips makes that name so more valuable. It makes him feel closer to her. Exactly. Isn't that what love is, a form of comapanionship where you do things unasked?

Rivs, this was a very khoobsurat part. You managed to bring out both (Asad's and Zoya's) feelings very well. Like I said, the last few lines just did it for me. You do understand that I want to read more, right??? 😉

Yes I get your message...will work on the next part today...

Continue and keep it up!!! 👏

Originally posted by: asyaarshilover

wow ywr i just loved it...it's written beautifully👏...u r a gr8 writter

i would love it if u send me pm for the next last part plz

Originally posted by: rutu83

amazing..absolutely amazing
each facet is so well portrayed👏

Originally posted by: Linsie

Beautiful written... how is your in turmoil.. spilling out
not guilt but feeling did i do this ... ???